EddieDean

I’ve considered Rebels: Refocused, but others have picked up that task and done it well. I don’t think its need is as intense as TCW:R as it doesn’t need to repackage itself as a more confident show, like I thought was important with this one. So it’s a maybe, but it’s a fairly low priority. I also thought about seeing what could be done if anything with Resistance, since nobody seems to have picked that one up.

The coda scene is mainly necessary here because it closes out an important TCW plotline, and really should be watched whether or not you’re planning to watch Rebels.

That said, I do naturally have plenty of other ideas:

• Adding even more to TCW:R - the complete v1.0 is only the beginning, and really only the complete v2.0 will be the first true release. Then there’s all the supplementary content.
• I’d like to work on The Phantom Menace. I think there’re lots of fertile ideas there still to be explored, and I’d also like to crunch through every available fanedit in order to give it the best possible chance.
• I’ve been sharing ideas with another forum member regarding a full TCW series of movies they might be considering making, and I’d want to support that as much as was welcome, having thought about it so much.
• A lot of editing is done in isolation these days - I might try to make and maintain some kind of master document that can easily allow people to compare SW fan edits down to a shot-by-shot level. I really want to encourage us to work together much more around the releases of SW movies and shows.
• I think there might be room for very light-touch edits of some of the SW TV shows that preserves all of the content whilst gently reordering towards chronology - for example intercutting Boba Fett more cleanly with the Mandalorian, but still as a TV show. Or alternatively, for just naturally nudging things towards their arc structures, paying more attention to pacing than length, as in the case of Andor, released as arcs of 3/3/1/3/2/3/3/3/3 (so why not call that nine features, of variable length?) [though your edit might do all I’d hope for there, WitchDR.]
• I’d like to propose my watching order for Marvel movies which is almost chronological but which doesn’t introduce characters until they become relevant to crossovers (so it grows with minimal cognitive load), whilst still balancing it for variety, and make light edits to the movies to shift credit scenes to enable that order without spoilers.
• If it proves affordable, I’d like to buy the voicework to lightly change Iron Man 3 so it can follow Age of Ultron, which adds a suprising amount of value for Tony, Rhodey, and the Avengers plotline.
• I might remake my Hobbit movie-to-TV edit, and create a LotR movie-to-TV edit as its season two, including putting scenes from the two openings set in the Shire in a slightly more appropriate order for a chronological watch.
• I might consider a Rings of Power edit which keeps it as a TV show but paces it so that side plots don’t enter the story until they become relevant to the wider plot.
• I like interior design and my girlfriend needs a craft room.
• I’m desperately behind on my playing of videogames.
• Oh, and I’d like to write and publish a book that’s high fantasy lovecraftian horror.

Question: Since this show will have a coda (Maul and Obi-Wan from Rebels), and potentially another coda (Ahsoka from Tales of the Jedi), should I consider cutting out the very final scene from Victory and Death (you know the one) and making that a third coda, rather than keeping it within its own episode? It is very much a coda scene, though it follows most naturally from its preceding episode. It might merge well with the Ahsoka coda, leaving us with a Maul and Obi-Wan one, and an Anakin and Ahsoka one.

I think the key is self-contained arcs rather than specific lengths, so I’d cut to story not time. But it would be a bonus to have them all roughly balanced to normal movie length where possible.

We know now that the groupings for this season will be 3/3/1/3/2, as opposed to the 3/3/3/3 we expected and are getting for season two.

Episode 7 was so good, that I’m glad you’re trying to include it, but it does have its challenges, as you’ve mentioned.

Since the next content after #7 is a three episode arc, you won’t want to over-pad it, and then the final arc is only two episodes so you’ll likely need to add stuff to it for balance.

One thing that’s still not anchored is chronological placement of most of the Mon Mothma stuff. I feel like that’s the content that can slide around the most. The Cyril content probably wants to sit within the second arc as a B-plot, but also might do well to be pulled later, especially if he only joins the Cassian story in the two-part finale.

And Cassian on the beach can probably open the arc which features him in prison.

The big question is how full of content the next arc (three episodes) is going to be, and we won’t know that till we see it. In the meantime I’d focus on identifying the content that is or isn’t pinned to Cassian’s chronologically.

Fullmetaled said:

EddieDean said:

I am making no visual changes.

I thought you were same fan editor that did the update to the rebels lightsabers. either way sorry If i bothered you.

No problem buddy. The OP contains detailed info on all of my plans.

Yeah, these are all fair criticisms of that idea! Oh well! 😃

I’d appreciate a PM too please!

I am making no visual changes.

Here’s a little idea, I don’t know how valuable it would be, but it might be worth thinking about:

You could potentially move Padmé’s early conversation by video with the Neimoidians on their bridge to when she’s on Tattooine.

During the “The death toll is catastrophic”/“It’s a trap, send no reply” segment, you could follow that up a short time later with Padmé’s “The Trade Federation have gone too far this time” - and then follow that with the launch of the probe droids and eventual attack by Maul.

Does that make for an interesting throughline?

Since these are characters so relevant to TCW and the prequel era, it feels completely appropriate to include all six episodes’ content into TCW:R somehow. I’ll just want to do it elegantly. So that might mean using Ahsoka flashbacks to improve our episode one, yeah.

One thing I think we’re going to have accept is varying graphical quality. TCW, and TCW:R, have always been multimedia projects.

Early reviews for Tales of the Jedi have been extremely positive. I’m really excited about this content, and about incorporating it. Right now we know that there’ll be an episode focused on Ahsoka’s youth and an early hunting trip - I was originally thinking I’d most likely repackage some of this stuff within a light ‘season zero’ of TCW:R, but showing Ahsoka’s life and initiation into the Jedi might make the best beginning to my episode one, the weakest episode of TCW:R. It’d be lovely if we could start the series on stronger content.

Oh, and I should have the planned Siege of Mandalore episodes out by the end of this week.

You might be able to put more back in that way- and/or include some of the Mon Mothma content- especially if this week’s standalone episode gives us some good value before the following arc of three more.

Excellent news, Acbagel- I can’t wait to see this, I think it’s going to be my go-to and I’ve been putting off a rewatch of both shows so that I could watch it all your way. Don’t rush, but I’m very glad your time away was good for you and to have you back!

Really lovely, and it’s great to hear you have even more ideas and refinement, even though you’re not actively on it. I really appreciate your efforts buddy.

You mentioned having characters only show up when it’s relevant to the plot - I had a similar thought. I wasn’t necessarily looking to cut much, but I felt like the season would have been better paced if it didn’t do as much darting around between plotlines, which caused some episodes to feel as if they were just spinning their wheels. Perhaps they’re running parallel until they intersect rather than true chronological order, which I don’t think is problematic.

I considered pacing it as follows:

Arc/Movie 1:

• Focus on the Galadriel/Numenor plotline from episodes 1-5.
• End on Numenorians sailing to Middle-Earth
• Halbrand, Isildur, etc all in focus.
• No dwarves or harfoots
• This arc’s fairly strong, at least for introducing charaters, though gives little payoff.

Arc/Movie 2:

• Focus on Arondir/Southlands plotline from episodes 1-6, and some of the Elrond/Durin plotline
• End on the eruption of Mount Doom
• No Numenor (until they show up at the end) or harfoots
• The weaker parts of the early Southlands plot could balance nicely with the stronger Khazad-Dum B-plot.

Arc/Movie 3:

• Focus on harfoots/Stranger plotline from the whole show, and the remaining other content
• Start with the harfoots, balanced by the stronger wrap-up of other plotlines, until handing over to the original conclusion to the season

Interested in your thoughts!

I can’t speak to the feasibility of some of your more radical ideas, but I really like opening on invasion, the droid/neimoidian hologram scene on the planet, and into the Jedi. That’s probably our most bombastic and interesting opening for this movie and saga.

Droid and neimoidian dialogue is editable enough, so we could likely do something with that scene to flow naturally into the Jedis’ appearance.

I think the holy grail for me would be a transition shot from space down to the planet (or from space to neimoidian base ships launching landing craft), to give editors that alternative opening to build around.

We don’t, but you seem passionate about this to pick it up yourself. We all got started with no skill and we learned as we went. You’ve got this.

The end is near!

On review of the Bad Batch arc, I’ve made a decision - I’m not going to include it. For a few reasons:

1. The penultimate episode of a TV show is not the time for a backdoor pilot of another show.
2. It’s not good enough on its own, or as a focus on our main characters, to really warrant a place.
3. It slows down the important momentum rush toward the finale we should be feeling at this point.

Ultimately, in the story of Ahsoka (/Anakin) and Mauldalore (that the Clone Wars is at its best, and which is the core of TCW:R,) it doesn’t belong. And yeah, the moment of Anakin killing Trench is good, but it’s not worth an episode, and it’s nothing new for Anakin, and Trench is barely a villain in my edit.

However:

1. I will include the Anakin/Padmé scene in my Siege of Mandalore episode, right at the very start. It fits just fine there.
2. I will turn this arc’s content into episode zero of the Bad Batch, using all of that show’s visual conventions. It’s a pilot for that show, that’s where it belongs. Chronology is less important than causology, so call this a light flashback. It’s about the Bad Batch, not Anakin (or any other TCW:R main characters).

The knock-on effect of this is that it reaffirms my decision not to incorporate the Citadel arc, which I was always on the fence about, especially since Echo’s death was so throwaway there.

Anyway, that all leaves me with just four edits to go, all of which will be very light touch.

You’ve got a lot of range of colours available for it still to look natural.

Grok said:

Could I get a link please?

Fire me a PM buddy 👍

Sorry Eyepainter, I really mean this constructively and respectfully, but I personally feel like these new grades are too radical - both these examples and your Ep1 movie which I recently watched. I think they’re super saturated and quite flat, and the grain is too strong. For me, it feels like we’re really deviating from the usual look of SW, as best exemplified by the OT/ST/Mandalorian/Andor. Definitely not trying to be rude there as I really appreciate your efforts, but if it were me I’d focus on your lovely VFX changes and dial down a lot of the grading changes.

arabian said:

Vladius said:

Wouldn’t you want to wait for the season to finish first?

Editors here did the same thing with Obi-Wan. I will never understand editing a project before it’s even done. You simply don’t know what is going to happen with a show until the season is over and “fixing” something before it’s even done? It just personally saddens me that people are so quick to correct the hard work that people have put into these shows, assume this or that doesn’t matter that they can’t even wait until the show is over. But that’s just me, I suppose.

I’m totally with you on this, buddy. What some people think of as padding, I just think of as fabric and texture. I’ve never had a problem with downtime spent in the Star Wars universe without necessarily pushing the plot forward. And I do wish we’d see more ideas/collaborative threads producing a small number of community edits rather than a lot of individual edits (as we saw with Kenobi).

But, hey, WitchDR, you do you!

Looking at the other official crawls, they do like their exciting language. So you could maybe have the Queen’s request be “urgent” and/or the Jedi being dispatched “swiftly” or “urgently”. You could also do something to imply the Trade Federation have arrived in a “stunning” or “bold” fashion. So here’s an example adding a bit more fruit to the language. (I’m also not quite sold on painting the Republic’s history as a golden age, so trying something I feel is a little tighter and more exciting.)

The Galactic Republic is failing.
As corruption spreads, Queen
Amidala of Naboo stands as a
vocal champion of democracy.

Sensing an opportunity to sieze
profit and power, the greedy
Trade Federation has boldly
surrounded her wealthy home
planet with a fleet of deadly
warships.

At the Queen’s urgent request,
the mystical Jedi Knights have
swiftly dispatched Qui-Gon Jinn
and his apprentice to the planet,
seeking to protect the peace
and ensure the safety of her
people…

I really like Nev’s second paragraph (in his first version) and RogueLeader’s third. Having Padmé call on the Jedi streamlines things. I still think she should be mentioned as part of the solution to the Republic’s complacency though, tying her back to the idea that she’s this movie’s Death Star plans, which gives the plot a very clear macguffin.

A golden age is ending.
As corruption spreads in the
Galactic Republic, Queen Amidala
of Naboo stands as a vocal
champion of democracy.

Sensing an opportunity for
profit and power, the greedy
Trade Federation has surrounded
her prosperous homeworld with
a blockade of deadly warships.

At the Queen’s request, the
mystical Jedi Knights have
dispatched Qui-Gon Jinn and his
apprentice to the planet,
seeking to preserve the peace
and ensure the safety of her
people…

I feel like these are key points worth achieving in the crawl:

• Setting: A galaxy, whose dominant power is a Galactic Republic and which features ‘mystical’ peace-preserving Jedi. (‘Legendary’ is good but for an introduction to the franchise I think we need to make it clear that the Jedi are magical.)
• Context for setting / broad stakes: Galactic golden age is ending, because democracy is declining, and corruption is growing.
• Macguffin: Queen Amidala resists this decline. (This cements her as of interest to all parties.)
• Triggering events: Trade Federation presence, Queen’s request for aid. (Gives Queen more agency and character. Valorum and the structure of the Republic aren’t important enough to the actual plot we see onscreen to be mentioned. The pace we’re fed this information in the movie is more comfortable.)
• Tangible threat: Blockade/warships. (Which will be defeated at the end to resolve the plot.)
• Humanised stakes / motivation for goodies: Safety of Naboo’s people. (Also serves to emphasise a key element otherwise only lightly touched on.)
• Protagonist / agent of change: Qui-Gon Jinn. (Named because he isn’t named early in the movie, whereas Obi-Wan should not be named so as to not draw attention from Qui-Gon, and because he is far more passive in this movie.)

As for the Trade Federation’s motivations, which were never super clear, you at least have Naboo’s prosperity matched to the Trade Federation seeking profit, which is more explicit, and then more implicitly you can link them seeking power to the fact that the Queen has been linked to anti-corruption. But they’re at least all interesting words this way. Mentioning their opportunism also goes some way to implying that they’re possibly overreaching, which can serve to explain some of their worries about whether or not they’re going to get away with this, and why it escalates.

I’ve no idea why I came back to this today, but I’ve been mulling over TPM again recently and decided to take another crack at the crawl.

The earlier version had a little too much exposition, and a bit too much complex language. It also hinged on a few experiments for changes I had wanted to try which ultimately didn’t work out - so this version could now serve as an alternative for an unedited movie. I wanted this to work as your very first (chronological) Star Wars crawl, your introduction to the franchise, and set up the galaxy for some of the plot points which will happen in later movies. I also tried to emphasise the elements which pay off in this movie, and cut out a few things which were covered by dialogue in the first few scenes.

The galaxy is growing unstable. As the
Galactic Republic’s protection of its
planets diminishes, QUEEN AMIDALA of
Naboo stands as a vocal champion against
corruption.

Sensing an opportunity, the greedy TRADE
FEDERATION have sent a mighty warship
to her home world, in an attempt to
make her appear weak.

The Jedi Order, mystical defenders of
the Republic, have dispatched Jedi Knight
QUI-GON JINN and his apprentice to
maintain the peace and protect the Queen.

I feel like planetary protection should be ‘diminishing’ which is neither too hot nor too cold, and I also don’t want to overtly call the Republic corrupt, but I’d still like to show that both of those things are happening (because it’s the best reason for the Trade Federation wanting to silence her), while also avoiding the words ‘bureaucracy’ or ‘complacency’ because they are boring.

The weakest part of this is “in an attempt to make her appear weak”. I’m trying to convey that they’re wanting to silence her voice or reduce her political power, but I don’t want to use the word ‘voice’ as I think the phrase ‘vocal champion’ carries a lot of weight, and I think mentioning the word ‘politics’ is only going to remind people that they don’t like all the politics in the prequel trilogy. Perhaps “in a direct challenge to her growing power”, or “to challenge her growing popularity”, or “in a direct challenge to the threat she poses”? But we also need to contend with the idea that keeps coming up in the plot, that somehow they can get her to “sign a treaty” which makes this all OK? Perhaps “in an attempt to force her submission”? “In an attempt to force her to sign a treaty of submission” feels too fanedity.

We need more exciting action words!

Alternatively if you could have Palatine exclusively sound like Nigel Thornberry that’d be smashing.