DuracellEnergizer

As far as I'm concerned, Star Wars and Star Trek could do with some cross-pollination (Star Wars could do with more complex villains and philosophy, while Star Trek could do with more aliens that are actually alien and less pseudoscientific technobabble).

The Inquisitors actually used to be cool, though, and not a bunch of albino goth clones.

The Old West again? Can someone tell me what the hell is wrong with the New West?

CP3S said:

imperialscum said:

I hate it when I go take a dump on a casual western toilet and the "waste product" is kind of soft. It is impossible to clean it properly with a toilet paper. One thing I absolutely love about Japan are their washlet toilet seats. You may laugh about them but that is just because you are completely unaware how useful they are.

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

NeverarGreat said:

My beef with the new villain is that he doesn't look so much like a villain so much as the winner of a "Design a Sith" competition. A double bladed lightsaber was a cool novelty. In 1995.

Unwrapped Cordouroy Creme Egg ...

FWIW, I'm basing the Maul comparision on the double-bladed lightsaber more than anything else.

Bingowings said:

I liked the one when Q made Riker a temporary Q and he turned Wesley into a blonde muscle hunk which Geordie fancied.

It was the nearest we got to some actual whale action in that show.

Black, blind and gay (if he was Jewish and a lady he would have had the full set).

From a certain point of view ...

What I would have done:

Replaced the Death Star II with an Eclipse-class Star Destroyer, and have it serve as more of a setting rather than a MacGuffin.

Cast a young, attractive actress to play Palpatine. Clive Revill would have been retained as the voice of Palpatine.

I would have had Palpatine's little cadre in the beginning of the film consist of Sith Lords/Dark Jedi instead of funny looking men in goofy headgear. This would show that Vader isn't the only high-ranking darksider in service to the Emperor, and it would help to set up a sequel trilogy.

I still would have kept the "rescue-Han-from-Jabba's-palace" subplot, but reworked it heavily to make it work better (I don't know precisely how I would go about doing this, however).

Placed Jabba's palace on another, new, world rather than on Tatooine.

Omitted the stupid "from a certain point-of-view" speech. Ben will admit he lied, but that he did it only in Luke's best interests.

Omitted the bit with Leia as Luke's sister/Vader's daughter.

I would have shown Sullust.

Changed the Ewoks to Trandoshans, Bossk's race (hey, I'm trying to be original, here!)

Changed the whole method of how Palpatine & Vader go about seducing Luke to the darkside to make it more believeable. The whole "if-you-strike-me-down-in-hatred-you'll-join-me" bit is just dumb and smacks of future PT developments.

Had Han die heroically on Endor.

Reegar said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

 

Bester said:

Only if he has skills with the Force. Otherwise, it would be a pretty one-sided fight.

I'd very much like to see a non-Force using lightsaber weilder who can hold his own against a Jedi. It'd be a refreshing change of pace.

JEDIT: Just saw the image of this new character. It's just another stupid Maul knockoff. God damn this stagnant piece-of-shit franchise.

 

Good point about a non-Force sensitive fighting a Jedi. That's one of the appeals of Batman; he depends on gadgetry, wit, and training to take down super-powered beings.

The Inquisitor may take aesthetic influence from Maul (what's inherently wrong

imperialscum said:

Well I don't mind seeing some stuff introduced in the prequels (planets, double-bladed lightsabre etc.)

I hope this thread isn't in danger of growing stale. Otherwise I'll have to take it to strange new places.

I'd say even the worst of Trek still has more soul than the entire PT.

I'd just like to say that after I travel backward through time to the 1920's, I'm boycotting H. P. Lovecraft.

NeverarGreat said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

lineral storytelling.

Is that like literal plus linear storytelling?

NeverarGreat said:

On one hand, it would be a breath of fresh air to dispense with the EU. On the other hand, it would be admitting to the fans that a vast swath of the Star Wars universe simply doesn't exist anymore. I find that to be a less than creative solution. In my opinion, the most important, most sacred duty of writers is to their created universes. If the creators and stewards of a fictional universe treat it with contempt, why should anyone else do otherwise?

Fang Zei said:

I could see an EU reboot seriously pissing off a lot of fans. Lucasfilm always said the books were canon, even if they were a lower level of canon.

There've been serious shakeups to the continuity, but Lucasfilm has always been able to retcon it away.

What I would much rather prefer they do is simply set the movie whenever they are now in the books.

Baron Harkonnen is bisexual? I know he experimented in his younger days, but still ...

I hated Eyes Wide Shut the first and only time I ever watched it. I liked the cinematography, and the story started off interesting enough, but when the plot ended up going literally nowhere all I felt was cheated and ripped off, that I'd wasted 159 minutes on fuck-all. I've been ambivalent towards Kubrick and his work ever since.

I used to like The Shining a lot more than I do now. Ever since I've read the novel, though, I haven't been able to see it as anything more than a beautiful car with no engine.

I actually like 2001 a helluvalot more than I used to. As a kid it bored me to tears with it's slow pace and incomprehensible plot. I've come to appreciate it and even like it, though, as the novel helped explain the bizarre sequence of events, and because I'm no longer a slave to lineral storytelling.

Bester said:

Only if he has skills with the Force. Otherwise, it would be a pretty one-sided fight.

I'm looking forward to seeing the ST heavily contradict the EU. The stupid completists who continue to say the EU is 110% canon and compatible with the films deserve to have their delusional bubble popped.

I was planning on watching Nosferatu tonight on TCM, but when I put it on to watch it, the channel glitched up and blacked out. It wasn't my satellite/TV connection either, because all the other channels came in just fine. What a load of bullshit!

Bingowings said:

I have know idea who you are talking about.

Is he a member of Bros?

Every time I see Wily Virus' face or hear her voice, I feel like taking a bath in hydrochloric acid.

DominicCobb said:

I think we can all agree that Star Wars was either dead or dying, and now the future is as bright as it's ever been.