DuracellEnergizer

act on instinct said:

ray_afraid said:

fmalover said:

Is there a reason why the Hutts are all portrayed in a negative way?

Seriously, they are always slimy scumbags, and I don’t recall a single Hutt with genuinely noble intentions.

This has bugged me, too.
In TPM some guy says “The Hutts are gangsters!” Like, all of em? The entire species?
Stupid.

I don’t find it stupid unless Star Wars is stupid

Must … resist. . . .

So I’ve been reflecting on my ideas for an OT rewrite, and I’ve changed my mind on several details.

DuracellEnergizer said:

• My OT would be semi-hard science fiction, with a few fantastical elements, rather than outright science fantasy. Things like 3D space travel would be featured, but people walking around inside giant space slugs without spacesuits in Earth-normal gravity would be out of the question.

Keeping this.

• My OT would take place in the Milky Way Galaxy, in “the 33rd century A.E.”, hundreds of thousands of years into the future.

Ambivalent on this. I still like the idea, but there’s the purist in me who wants to keep to “the galaxy far, far away”.

Humans and near-humans would be the only sapient life inhabiting the galaxy; there’d be no genuine aliens.

Amending this. There would be non-human sapients co-existing with humanity, but there’d be fewer than there are in SW canon, and they’d tend towards self-segregation.

• Projectile weapons such as coilguns and smart missiles would be featured, with energy weapons taking lesser precedence.

Ditching this.

• The lightsaber would be somewhat different. It’d be a weapon only trained Force-users can activate and wield. It’d possess a monomolecular blade of “energized particles” which can cut through most anything but doesn’t generate any actual heat. Jedi lightsabers would be red while Sith lightsabers blue.

Keeping these.

• No manned fighters. All fighters would either be outfitted with AIs (Empire) or remote controlled (Rebel).

Ditching this.

• There’d be no light/dark dichotomy to the Force.

Amending this. There’d be light and dark, but with gray between.

• No Force ghosts.

Ditching this.

• Luke would be changed into a female character named “Leia Skywalker”.
• Leia would become Princess Zara Antilles.

Ditching these.

• The Death Star would not make a physical appearance. [Leia] would be imprisoned on Vader’s Star Destroyer and all scenes pertaining to her rescue would take place there.

Keeping this.

• Ben would survive his duel with Vader.

Ditching this.

• The film would end with our heroes escaping for Hoth.

Keeping this.

• My version of TESB would open a couple weeks after the events of SW. The damages to the Falcon would’ve been those sustained during our heroes’ escape from Vader’s ship

Keeping these.

• Dodonna would take Rieekan’s place.

Keeping this.

• The [Luke]/Han/[Leia] love triangle would be a bisexual one.

Ditching this.

• The walkers would be replaced with tanks.

Keeping this.

• In contrast to Ben, Yoda would be quite the PT-era Jedi. He would teach [Luke] that Jedi are forbidden from forming attachments, including romantic ones.

Ambivalent on this. Part of me wants to ditch the PT baggage wholly and make the Jedi less dogmatic, another wants me to keep the Jedi as the “too cold” to the Sith’s “too hot” so Luke can forge his own middle path which is “just right”.

• Bespin wouldn’t have a breathable atmosphere.
• Six months would explicitly pass between the Battle of Hoth and the duel on Cloud City.

Keeping these.

• I’m on the fence as to whether Vader would be [Luke’s] father or not.

Not anymore. His father he is.

• [Luke] would join Vader.

Ambivalent on this.

• Three years would’ve passed since TESB.

Keeping this.

[Luke] would’ve spent that time receiving Sith training from Vader.

Amending this to “or Jedi training from Yoda”.

• The one and only Death Star would finally make its debut.
• Motti would take Jerjerrod’s place.

Keeping these.

• Emperor Palpatine would be reimagined as Espaa Valorum, the beautiful, androgynous, ageless Dark Lord of the Sith.

Amending this. I think I’ll return to the Palpatine name, but the beautiful androgyny remains in place.

• Under his helmet, Vader would be revealed as a handsome, middle-aged man without any injuries or disfigurements.

Ambivalent on this. It all depends on how tragic/sympathetic I’d decide to make the character.

• No Ewoks, no Endor. The Rebel fleet would attack the Death Star above Had Abbadon, and we’d get a trench run much like the one from A New Hope. No muss, no fuss.

Keeping this.

• [Palpatine] would zap [Luke] with his lightning; Vader would skewer him on his lightsaber; then [Luke] and Vader would have their climactic duel.

Amending this. Luke would take up his lightsaber and slay Palpatine, then he and Vader would fight.

• [Luke] would slay Vader a la Dooku. Vader would die in his sins, unredeemed.

Amending this(?) I don’t know about beheading, but Luke would kill an unredeemed Vader.

• The film would end on a bittersweet note, with the Death Star destroyed, Han and [Leia] together, and [Luke] assuming command of the Executor and going off on [his] own, intent on building a First Order free of Jedi/Sith dogma.

Amending this. I think I’d have Han die in the attack on the Death Star.

Some further changes I’d make:

• The stormtroopers would wear effective armour and be more formidable in battle.
• Luke would be “Luke Lars” prior to learning his true name from Ben.
• Owen would be written more sympathetically.
• I’d include elements from the radio drama in my version of ANH.
• I’d include elements from the Leigh Brackett screenplay in my version of TESB.
• Yoda wouldn’t be the master who trained Ben. This is the one concession I’d make to the prequel lore.

SilverWook said:

ray_afraid said:

emanswfan said:

Here’s the new trailer!

https://youtu.be/XmI7WKrAtqs

BILL BURR!
Anyone else thing the Mandalorian guy sounds like a PT clone?
(I haven’t seen the PT since 2005ish, so I could be wrong, but it stood out to me)
Now, how am I gonna watch this thing?

That is the absolute best way.

I’d love that poster were it not for Vader’s disproportionately huge arms.

ADDED

WEEDED

One of the missteps I feel the OT took was in making the lightsaber a technological weapon rather than a purely mystical one only trained Force-users can wield. Perhaps Luke using the weapon can be removed from the film altogether? Change it so Ben shows him the saber, but Luke can’t turn it on, so Ben is the one who demonstrates its operation. That would also entail cutting out Luke practicing with the lightsaber on the Falcon, though. That entire sequence provides more information on the nature of the Force and insight into Han’s character, so I don’t know if we can afford to lose it.

fmalover said:

Is there a reason why the Hutts are all portrayed in a negative way?

Seriously, they are always slimy scumbags, and I don’t recall a single Hutt with genuinely noble intentions.

Aarrba’s one Hutt portrayed in a positive light.

Fans of Dark Empire may enjoy this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lADCO-Ar76U

Found it a mixed bag, personally. I don’t think the Nelvana-inspired character designs mesh with the tone/style of the story.

joefavs said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Every Star Wars fan — be they lapsed or faithful, SJW or toxic masculinist — deserves whatever strife they receive from their attachment to this franchise.

Desire is suffering, biotches.

Three cheers for false equivalency.

A fourth for self-loathing.

I think I should leave again. And I think the mods should see to it that I stay gone.

Every Star Wars fan — be they lapsed or faithful, SJW or toxic masculinist — deserves whatever strife they receive from their attachment to this franchise.

Desire is suffering, biotches.

So long as Marey proves herself the heroin we don’t need but deserve, I’m be tickled fuchsia.

They look like identical twin sisters.

★★★★★★★★★☆

★★★★★★★★★☆

★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

★★★★★★★★☆☆

★★★★★★★★★☆

★★★★★★☆☆☆☆

★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆

★★★★★★★★☆☆

★★★★★★★☆☆☆

Slavicuss said:

Most - if not all - the new alien creature and monster designs are shite.

The Kaminoans and the acklay weren’t bad. They’re the only ones that immediately come to mind, though.

Force-Abel said:

Is there a reason why not many people post in here? I thought a tech news thread would be more popular on a sci-fi site like this?

Probably because every subforum not pertaining to Star Wars or fanedits are dead as doornails.

DuracellEnergizer said:

Twins Peak

This is a damn fine typo. It’d make a swell title for a Twin Peaks porno parody.

It’s been, what, half a decade since I last rewatched Seasons 1 & 2? Gotta rectify that sometime.

I dunno if I’m ever gonna revisit Season 3, though. I found it a mixed bag, especially the finale; as a Lynch fan, I loved it, but as a Twins Peak fan, loathed it. If a fourth season’s forthcoming, maybe I’ll rewatch it. If not, I’ll write it off as unessential apocrypha.

Capitalism is the gift that just keeps on giving.

I think The Exorcist could’ve benefited from some subtlety. We could’ve done without Regan’s head doing a 360, for instance.

Turks in Space actually had a budget, so there was no need to repurpose footage from any other sources. It’s also a complete cowpie devoid of anything vaguely resembling entertainment value. Don’t watch it EVER.