DuracellEnergizer

Alright. Hyphenated surnames for the kiddies it is.

Jay said:

collapsed mine and it was uncomfortable

TV’s Frink said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

As for potential children, I think the daughters would inherit my name while the sons would inherit their mother’s, just to switch things up.

That sounds unnecessarily confusing for them and anyone they know.

I’m counting on the latter for sure.

Possessed said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I believe in haunted houses.

Samezies, in fact I think many, I wouldn’t say most, but perhaps a majority, of houses that have been standing for a long time are haunted. Just haunted in the sense that a previous owner has accidentally left an imprint of their self behold. But most of the time their presence is benign and unintrusive so nobody notices. The house I live in now is most definitely not haunted as its only been standing since the 80s and the only previous owner died in a nursing home, my dad purchased it directly from their kids. (He rents it to me… Pretty sweet deal actually because he only charges me exactly what it costs to keep the place running basically I just pay the bills but didn’t have to buy it but I’ll still get it someday… And yes I’m aware of how lucky I am and how sweet of a deal this is and I’m very grateful about it my dad’s awesome) But I’m convinced the house I grew up in was haunted. The “ghost” didn’t seem to have any negative will or intentions or anything but they were there.

So, the stone tape theory? I believe a version of this, too, though I think the imprints are emotional vibes rather than ghostly presences.

TV’s Frink said:

My wife still has her own name. We’re doing just fine.

I’d go this route. I simply don’t see the need for any potential wife to adopt my surname.

As for potential children, I think the daughters would inherit my name while the sons would inherit their mother’s, just to switch things up.

suspiciouscoffee said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

NO RAINBOW LANTERNS

But what about the ones you can’t see? 😛

Oh, FFS.

DuracellEnergizer said:

If I was placed in charge of DC and Marvel Comics, these are the changes I would implement throughout both companies.

REBOOT THE ENTIRE LINE OF COMICS

All storylines currently in progress would be wrapped up, the worst-selling/extraneous titles would be cancelled, and the best-selling figurehead titles would receive complete and total reboots, starting over with brand new issue #1s. The slate would be wiped completely clean; there would be absolutely no “have my cake and eat it too”-styled reboots ala Crisis on Infinite Earths or Nu52.

THE CHARACTERS WOULD AGE AND EVOLVE IN REAL TIME

No more compressing decades worth of storylines, sliding the timeline, or utilizing cosmic resets to preserve the _status quo _and keep the characters static while the world(s) around them changes. One year of storylines in the real world would approximate one year of events in-universe – no exceptions. As the readers age, start careers, get married, have children, and eventually die, so to will the characters in the books (The mortal ones with average human lifespans, anyway.).

LIMIT THE NUMBER OF TITLES FOR ANY SPECIFIC SUPERHERO

So that means Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, the X-Men, etc. only get one or two titles each; no more three-five-seven-nine+ titles for anyone.

NO MORE SHARED UNIVERSE(S)

Basically, each superhero would exist in his/her title as if s/he was the only superhero in existence; allusions to other superheroes in other titles would be done in only the vaguest of ways, and guest appearances/crossovers would be rare and more-or-less considered out of continuity.

ALL MAIN TITLES WOULD BE WRITTEN FOR AN ALL-AGES AUDIENCE

Brutal violence, gore, sex, and profanity would no longer be allowed. All primary superhero titles would be written so as to appeal to adults and children both. All the R-and-X-rated stuff is to be reserved for miniseries published outside of the main titles.

NO MORE "WRITING FOR THE TRADE"

Character and story arcs can go on indefinately, but specific storylines must be resolved within one-to-four issues; no more decompression.

CROSSOVER EVENTS WOULD BE RARE

There would be no more of this annual “events that shake the world/galaxy/universe/multiverse” crap. Events would be very rare events --one every seven-to-ten years or so. Furthermore, events would be written so as to be standalone miniseries; there would be no tie-in miniseries/storylines or interference with the main titles.

IF A MAJOR/SUPPORTING CHARACTER IS TO DIE, IT MUST BE WITH DIGNITY

Deaths likes this one

are all well and good when used sparingly, but deaths like this one

http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1601/611/1600/308107/infinitecrisis1_21lo.jpg

are completely unacceptable and absolutely anathema.

NO OVERPOWERING CHARACTERS

Characters must have limitations so that they can be reasonably challenged. In other words, Superman can’t move planets or travel at/past the speed of light, Wolverine can’t regenerate from atomic explosions, Batman can’t beat everyone with enough prep time, etc.

I felt I’d revise/expand this.

NO CLUTTER EARTHS

A revised version of the “NO SHARED UNIVERSES” rule. Team-ups between superheroes are okay within reason, but there should never be a single continuity packed with hundreds of thousands of superheroes. 'Cause c’mon, what worth’s Captain Marvel when Superman’s right there?

NO RED HULKS, RAINBOW LANTERNS, ETC.

It’s stupid.

ALL SUPERHERO CONTINUITIES WOULD EXIST WITHIN A SINGLE MULTIVERSE

No more extraneous multi-multiverses. One multiverse consisting of 3000 universes is sufficient. Why 3000? Because 52 is laughably restrictive, and infinite horrifically redundant.

THE X-MEN UNIVERSE WOULD BE SEPARATED FROM THE REST OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE

They

are praised and honoured, while they

are feared and reviled. What’s the difference? The former gained powers accidentally, the latter were born with theirs.

Makes no sense and never did.

THERE WOULD BE THREE MAIN IMPRINTS — “LEGENDS”, “LEGACIES”, & "TIMELESS"

Legends: Titles under this imprint would feature the classic superheroes, chronicling in real time their lives and exploits from the '30s, '40s, '50s, '60s, and onward.

Legacies: Titles under this imprint would feature contemporary superheroes, chronicling in real time their lives and exploits now, in the early 21st century.

Timeless: Titles under this imprint would be subject to comic book time. Here is where readers go for simple, accessible, continuity-light, one-and-done stories where the characters remain fixed and unchanging.

DuracellEnergizer said:

I don’t have a personal canon anymore. If I like a story, I like it and evaluate it by its individual merits. I no longer care how it all fits together or even if it fits together.

I’d just like to emphasize that by abandoning personal canon, I haven’t gone and accepted official canon, not even passively. I still defy and reject it.

I suppose you could call my philosophy anarco-canonism, canonical nihilism, or simply acanonism.

My sister just came back from the hospital. Doctors’ say my mother’s heart is very sick, that three of the arteries are blocked. They’re operating on her now.

Thanks, to all you guys. I appreciate the concern.

I don’t have a personal canon anymore. If I like a story, I like it and evaluate it by its individual merits. I no longer care how it all fits together or even if it fits together.

moviefreakedmind said:

I agree. It’s reminded me again of why humanity is a waste of my time. I’ll take a stronger stance on the Starbucks story. Fuck SSSam, he probably deserved it; fuck that barista, I hope he got fired; and fuck everybody else too for good measure.

So long as you fuck yourself in the process.

Well, I found out it wasn’t a stroke my mother had. It was a heart attack. My sister is too stupid to know the difference between the two. I don’t know the details yet, but it seems she has some blockage. I suppose that means they’ll have to open her up and do a bypass.

Happy birthday indeed.

My mother was feeling unusually ill today, so my sister drove her to the hospital. She’s diabetic and her blood sugar was high, so we assumed it had something to do with her diabetes, but it looks like she might’ve actually suffered a small stroke. She’s gonna have to stay in the hospital for a few days for more tests.

And today’s my birthday.

suspiciouscoffee said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

TV’s Frink said:

Writing a person’s name in “stutter” is clever? What world am I even living in?

Earth-666, mfm’s favourite universe.

I forget, is that the Hebrew Marvel Universe or the Latin one?

Latin sounds creepier than Hebrew, so. . . .

It’s all semantics.

TV’s Frink said:

Writing a person’s name in “stutter” is clever? What world am I even living in?

Earth-666, mfm’s favourite universe.

Perhaps I should rephrase that.

“Consensus is immaterial.”

I like what I like, I hate what I hate, I’m indifferent to what I’m indifferent towards. Whether my opinion gets me a collective pat on the back or a flipped bird, I couldn’t care less.

suspiciouscoffee said:

I really do feel stupid. I know I’m supposed to love it, but I don’t, so I feel like the stupidest, fakest, “movie lover” on the planet. I really feel like don’t know a gaddam thing.

I once thought as you do regarding a great many things. Then I had an epiphany: “Fuck consensus.”

But does he have the goddamn common courtesy to give you a reach-around?

LordZerome1080 said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Truly blightful, the mind of a fanboy is.

Says a fanboy.

Warbler said:

For the UK, Groundhog Day falls on 4 July.

At this point, I only really read superhero comics for inspiration. I know the “real” Spider-Man makes deals with the Devil and ends up eating his own tail, but I go back to those Lee/Ditko/Romita/etc. issues, and I find a treasure trove of ideas & elements for crafting my own Spider-Man, a Spider-Man who can get married and have children and grow old and impart a legacy for future heroes to follow.

suspiciouscoffee said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

THE GOOD

• Dan Jurgens’ art
• Jerry Ordway’s art
• The nostalgic feeling said art left me

THE BAD

• Too much navelgazing
• Too little “oomph”

THE UGLY

• Bendis’ little story didn’t pique my interest in his Man of Steel miniseries.

His Man of Steel miniseries is much better than that story would have you believe. However, some choices were made in that mini that I’m afraid you would hate, even if I don’t mind them myself, so perhaps it’s best you don’t pick it up, or at least wait for the trade.

Sounds like a little investigation’s in order. . . .

DuracellEnergizer said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Mike O said:

Anyway, all that aside, it’s a fun, super-iconic Oz

Jor-El?

What the non-literal literal fuck‽

Your investigation could lead to similar findings as this. . . .

EDIT: Not that that’s really Bendis’ fault, as Jurgens actually wrote that reveal in Action 980-something and spent a few issues with him before making him go away, but he returns in the new mini.

It would appear I have a poor memory. . . .

Anyway, I don’t hate this development; I’m actually perfectly indifferent to it. When one doesn’t care about official canon, one doesn’t care about official canon.

Bendis/Jurgens can do what they want. I have my own universe where Clark & Kara are the absolute last surviving Kryptonians, anyway.

SilverWook said:

Do you guys even know there was a TNMT comic where it all started? Much more gritty than the cartoon.

I still want to check that out some time.