Darth Raditz

I prefer Anakin’s Dark Deeds over the piano. The former sounds more personal (it’s names after a character after all), while the piano, though good, sounds more like something you’d play over a montage at the end of a story. The piano also sounds too sad for what Vader is doing, like it pains him to do it, which it doesn’t.

The lightsaber editing is also good, though I’m wonering if you can add bac Vader saying “the year’s have made you weak,” as a way of clarifying when Ben was weak but ready in episode 4 & weaker/unprepared now.

I’m against inserting John Williams music in one scene in particular: when Obi-Wan & Vader first meet at night. I’d say the music does a good job at selling how unsettling this reunion is, with Vader randomly killing people (including snapping a child’s neck) in a wordless attempt to bait Obi-Wan out of hiding.

It’s a great psychological attack, & if you insert the Imperial March over it, that dread & terror is going to be lost & might give off the impression of Vader being “cool” when it should read as horrifying.

Would love to give these a watch as well if anyone still has the links.

leftshoe18 said:

She was probably one of the kids at the temple in the order 66 scene. If she was hidden and saw Anakin being addressed by the clones as Vader then she’d know.

That’s what I thought too. I rewatched the beginning of Part 1 & the very first person we see is the little black kid we see training before Order 66. I have a feeling the show will end with the Third Sister being that kid and coming briefly back to the light to help Kenobi escape.

Anjohan said:

• The Anakin is alive reveal (why the F does she assume Obi-Wan doesn’t know this? They haven’t talked)

Same way Vader sensed Luke’s feeling & found out about Leia being his daughter? The Third Sister prodded an emotional reaction out of Obi-Wan and capitalized it, not sure this is that big a deal.

Still, I’m excited for this edit. I’m more optimistic then I was with Book of Boba, but only time will tell.

Got a chance to watch this Friday, I’ll go over some small things I noticed before getting into the bigger picture.

-Our first into to Mando is him just strutting about (mostly) devoid of context, when a more effective intro would be when he first enters the butchery where his mark is hiding.

-The first use of flashbacks is weird, since it has Boba crawling out of the sand passing out, cuts to him in the baacta tank…only to immediately cut back to Past Boba at night, getting mugged by Jawas. Any way to cut that shot of Present Boba in the tank?

-It’s both impressive / weird with how much you were able to cut of the Tusken Raiders. Impressive in that it saves on time, but weird in how what seemed to drive Boba’s change from bounty hunter to well-meaning mob boss has been removed from the edit. Maybe it would work better if our first look at the Tusken’s came after the intro of the Mods (paralleling how Boba employs them to give them purpose with how the Tusken’s did the same for him), or if our first look at the Tusken’s was Boba getting the brain worm put in his head?

-I don’t like that the cut from Boba bonding with his Rancor to Mando’s commercial flight landing on Tatooine has no transition between the scenes, it’s very distracting.

-If possible, the first thing in this edit should be the talk between Boba & Fennec, as it perfectly establishes Boba’s motivations of not being a plaything of rich idiots that don’t care about the lives of other people.

-So I guess Cobb Vanth’s dead in this version of events. Maybe after Fennec kills the Pikes & the mayor, we cut to Vanth being healed in the baacta tank, then cut to Boba & Fennec strutting around Mos Espa.

-I love the match cut from Grogu being presented with a choice to him riding in Mando’s new starfighter. Perfect.

Now for the bigger fish:

1. This edit is in desperate need of Cad Bane in it. The series itself treats the showdown between Boba & Bane as the culmination of Boba’s character arc (Fear vs. Respect, self-interest vs. thinking about others, cruelty vs. mercy, etc.) but there’s just a whole lot of nothing because most of their history is told in other media.

I’ve not seen all of Clone Wars, but I think there’s a partial fix for this. You can include some of Bane’s dialogue from Clone Wars in Boba’s early flashbacks, then, when Boba comes to see the Tusken Tribe has been massacred, you could have a hologram of Bane saying “this planet belongs to the Pike Syndicate” as a sort of calling card for Boba to respond to. This also helps to get rid of the utterly useless plot thread of a random speed biker gang being the ones how killed the Tuskens & sooner establishes Bane as the final boss.

2. As others have said before, I’m not a fan of how the last 20 minutes is when we get all out our Grogu/Luke Skywalker content, especially since you can some up it’s purpose in a few words: Mando goes to see Grogu, is told he can’t but leaves a gift, Grogu’s training but his heart’s not in it so Luke gives him a choice, Grogu chooses to go with Mando. If Grogu needs to be in this edit, maybe something like this would work.

-After Mando rejoins his guild, we cut to Luke & Grogu training, showing how our lone wolf & cub are acclimating to their old tribes.

-While Grogu is training, maybe he sees Mando being excommunicated, & that’s what causes him to break the training remote? Imply Luke senses it to & that’s why he knows Grogu’s heart isn’t in it.

Then we can have Mando & Grogu reunited at the end. It’s still awkward, but hopefully less awkward. It’s also why I almost want more Tusken scenes inserted back in, then you enhance the “found family” themes in the show, as displayed with Boba & the Tuskens and Mando & Grogu. Then the central core could be “sometimes you go on a New Path, but sometiems paths branch back.” That or cut the Grogu scenes altogether, or release a Grogu cut & a Grogu-less cut?

All in all, I did really like this edit. It’s much more focused than the original show was, though it could be even more so.

Would love a link as well if they’re still up.

Would anyone happen to have this cut of the film on them? The cut list I read sounded intriguing, but I’m not having any luck finding it.

T-202 said:

Idk if you guys have seen this but someone’s extended Jango’s death scene with deleted scenes and VFX. Here’s the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/stt8ib/i_finished_the_cgi_in_jango_fetts_deleted/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

That definitely needs to go into future edits, anything to make Mace stand out more.

T-202 said:

Idk if you guys have seen this but someone’s extended Jango’s death scene with deleted scenes and VFX. Here’s the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/stt8ib/i_finished_the_cgi_in_jango_fetts_deleted/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

That definitely needs to go into future edits, anything to make Mace stand out more.

Does anyone have a link to this edit? It sounds very thought out & would love to give it a watch.

Is there any way to have it so Jar Jar knew that Padme was Queen Amidala the entire time? Looking at Eddie’s tool, I see there’s the line “…but only if Queenie thinks it all right to tell you.” Maybe incorporating that line with Jar Jar & Padme’s first meeting creates a double meaning that’s more apparent on a second viewing, and cutting out Jar Jar’s shocked revelation when Padme reveals herself would seal it?

I like the new version of the final battle, especially since it only runs 15 minutes. Really streamlines the climax.

Also, really digging the new Jar Jar lines. I agree that there need to be adjustments made, but it’s a step in the right direction. I notice in the the first clip that the old lines have a slight echo to them as well as the crunching of leaves under Jar Jar & Qui-Gon’s footsteps, while the new clips are comparatively quiet, no echo, and no ambient noises. Jar Jar also cuts himself off saying he’s “Representative of the Republic Senat-Oooo & mesa be big help with the negotiations,” which I do have ideas on how to smooth out.

Similar issues of ambience exist in clip 2, but the lines help paint an entirely different picture of Jar Jar. My only other complaint is moving the “not rushing in line” up a second or so to hide the fact that he speaks without moving his mouth.

The last clip is the second best, with Jar Jar sounding a bit like a robot at the end where he introduces himself to Padme as “Representative Biiinkss,” but again, it’s nice to see Jar Jar caring about things outside of himself. There just needs to a bit of smoothing out to make the lines flow naturally, maybe toy around with changing lines slightly. As a shot in the dark:

“Thatsa lookin’ like a Jedi robe” -> “That looks like a Jedi robe”
“Oooo & Mesa be big help…” -> “Mesa/Wesa be big help…”
“Mesa thinkin’ Queenie would help us…” -> “Mesa thinkin Queenie’d help us…”

If anyone skilled in audio editing wants to give it a shot, let us know how it goes.

EddieDean said:

• Mrebo on these forums recently had a good idea about using Anakin’s conflict with Sebulba as the party’s (and the audience’s) introduction to him, and then changing Anakin’s subtitles to have him explain why he’s brought them to Watto’s shop. This made our first introduction to Anakin one where he’s driving the plot and standing up for himself. And while it requires the shot of Jar Jar spitting a frog onto Sebulba, that element might be softened by the new context that “It’s the will of the force that we met”, though perhaps that’s a bit of a stretch.

You could soften that scene further by changing the subtitles between Jar Jar & the cook he steals from so Jar Jar’s less of a jerk:

COOK: “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”
JAR JAR: "I can pay for it!
COOK: "No, I mean the meat’s raw!
JAR JAR: “The meat’s raw?!”

The scene is more palatable, & you keep Anakin’s intro scene as a plot driver.

Speaking of Anakin driving the plot, I’ve been thinking about L8wrtr’s Episode 1 edit, how Anakin blowing up the control ship saves the day for Padme & the Gungans. However, the Jedi & Sith subplot is still disconnected from this, so how can we connect the threads and make the ending stronger?

The answer lies in Episode V, how Leia’s able to sense Luke’s presence on Cloud City, & apply that to Maul & Obi-Wan. After we see Anakin blowing up the droid ship, Maul senses that, the tide turning in favor of Padme & the Gungans. Obi-Wan senses it too, & uses Maul’s distraction to cut him down. The music should also cut when Obi-Wan slices Maul, to show Maul regaining his senses after it’s already too late.

Knight of Kalee said:

• I do think TPM benefits from going immediatly from meeting Jar Jar to the arrival on Theed, but I’d hate to lose the visuals of Otoh Gunga. At least the Submarine breaking down and the second pair of fish could be excised seamlessly.

Theoretically, you could still include the visuals of Otoh Gunga by placing them later in the film, once our group comes back to Naboo. After Obi-Wan tells Boss Nass that what happens to the Naboo will affect the Gungans, cut to a shot of Nass either stern or contemplatively stroking his chin, wondering what to do. Then, cut to the Naboo & Gungans meeting on the surface.

Anakin Starkiller said:

I like the idea of Kylo speaking to child Anakin.

It’s not so much Kylo speaking to child Anakin as much as it is Kylo trying to find anything to justify his view of Darth Vader, only to get every evidence of the contrary, signified by child Anakin shooting a scowl at him.

That being said, I also like the idea of keeping bits of the theatrical vision has when Kylo touches Vader’s mask, but overlaid with Anakin lines. For example, turn Anakin’s line from RotS “You turned her against me” into “[You] turned her against you” & overlay it with Rey shutting the door on Kylo from TLJ.

I know wanting to dub over Jar Jar is an idea people go to, but how about overdubbing Watto to downplay the idea of being a Jewish stereotype? Instead of being deep and gravelly, he could sound more warm but cautious. It would also help with edits where Qui-Gon frees both Anakin & his mom.

I know it would potentially just swap one steryotype for another, but I think an italian accent would fit Watto like a glove. Again, I think it would work if you tone down his threatening nature and more just a guy trying to survive.

Saw this a few days ago & found it to be a very admirable attempt to remove Palpatine from the equation. While I’m not sure how it’ll hold up on repeated viewings, I find it pretty novel that Rey’s storyline is separate from the Resistance storyline at the end if only for making Finn’s heroism stand out more. With that said, there were a few bugs I had with the edit:

-There’s a lot of spacing within the crawl that feels off

-Not starting the movie with Mustafar exacerbates the breakneck pacing of the theatrical cut.

-I can still hear Palpatine lauging at one point where we’re on Exegol

-The quick fades to white between the movie & the fanfilm feels weird to see in a Star Wars movie. Have you experimented with just cutting from one scene to another. There’s also noticeable music cuts between the fan film & the movie

-When Rey says “I’m starting to think it’s impossible,” I hear a noticeable audio cut, as well as a sudden shift in music around that time

-Intersting note to hear Kylo & Vader telling Rey to join them

-I hear Poe saying the “S” sound of “Somehow, Palpatine has returned”

-Could you cut Maz saying “if we want to stop him…” in the scene where the Resistance learns of the Star Destroyers? I know she’s referring to Kylo, but Kylo’s name hasn’t been mentioned in that scene.

-Rey telling Poe “You were right before.” That dialogue was deleted, so this makes no sense.

-Music cuts when the Falcon leaves the planet, as well as when Kylo force slams that one general in his meeting room. I know it was to cut the mention of Palpatine, but it sticks out.

-Not sure how to feel about the Knights of Ren being here. You probably can’t remove them completely, but at least keeping them silent reduces their presence. Maybe even remove mention of them being the Knights of Ren?

-Not sure why the scene of Hux talking with Pryde about their capture (Chewie), when you could just cut that scene out and not lose anything

-The cuts trimming Poe’s "everything would’ve been for nothing’ speech sticks out.

-I hate Zori’s line about splattering Poe’s brains on the snow. I’m not someone who rags about “this doesn’t feel like Star Wars,” but apart from that, muting the line allows the film to breath more. Her pointing a gun at Poe is enough.

-On one hand, I like removing mention of Poe being a spice runner, but now the scene fills too quiet without Finn going “get your spice” for such a long camera shot

-Poe & Zori’s talk on the balcony just ends suddenly

-Thanks for trimming down the mind trick of the two Stormtroopers

-Hux saying “we don’t have much time” is cut away from too quickly

-Weird audio mixing for Kylo when he tells Rey “You SENT down THE ship.” I’m also not sure why he tells her his mother was Vader’s daughter if there’s no Palpatine for genetics to play a role in this cut.

-Kylo sensing his mom & Leia dying feels random. It should go from Rey leaving with the Falcon -> Leia lying down & “dying” -> Kylo sensing her “death.” You can get around the potential plot hole of that sequencing (“Kylo knows his mom’s dead but not Rey?”) by holding off on the shot of people gathered around at her deathbed until Finn & Poe get back. Also, weird soundmixing when Leia goes “fInD pOe…”

-When Poe asks Finn if he knows who Rey is, cutting Finn’s response just feels awkward.

-Awkward soundmixing strikes again, this time from Poe. “Finn, we GOTta GOooo…it’s leia…”

-Surprised you didn’t overdub a sad R2 noise upon learning 3PO lost his memory.

-Thanks for keeping the horse on the Star Destroyer.

-Audiomixing again. “You wanted to prove to my mother that your a Jedi but SHE’s gone…”

-Cutting off Duel of the Fates, even temporarily, feels wrong? The fight in full should play out more

-Love cutting Luke saying his line about a Jedi’s weapon, but the cut itself is jarring.

-Hate Luke saying he stayed on Jakku because he was afraid

-“If you don’t, it’ll mean the end of the Jedi” sounds really garbly

-It’s weird for Poe & Finn to look at each other, walk off…and then come back to hug each other 10 seconds later.

-I don’t like the cut to black between the tri hugging & Kylo in the ocean, it feels out of place. But I do like how Leia’s body disappears after he throws his lightsaber away.

-I still see a residual orange glow around Rey’s purple lightsaber

-Thanks for cutting out the old woman, but the music is cut off.

-I like the idea of ending with everyone in the Falcon, but no one seems happy to see each other or looking off towards the future. It’s obvious this isn’t the final shot of the film. Maybe put it before they fly off into the binary sunset?

Still though, this edit has great bones to it. Looking forward to V2!

I like the ending, feels very organic & has a big BttF Part three vibe to it (“Your future isn’t written yet, so make it a good one”).

From a technical standpoint, Rey vs. Palpatine is also well-done, but I’m curious about the context in the film itself. I appreciate wanting Rey to be a stronger character & not needing help from anyone, but against Palpatine, I worry that that goal would make her triumph feel unearned. If anything, the lack of Jedi just heightens the feeling of “how do we know Palpatine won’t just come back a third time” that was present in the theatrical cut.

I’ve been lurking around Jar Jar Bricks’ edit of the TLJ & TROS novel, & I like their notion of adding Anakin in more as a means to make the ST feel more connected to the idea of I-VI being about The Tragedy of Darth Vader.

Has anyone tried out making it so Luke has R2 show Rey a hologram of Anakin choking Padme on Mustafar? It would be a way of tying the OT & PT together & imply that’s what could happen to Rey if she foolhardily tries to save Kylo’s soul.

Duplicate post deleted

I’ve been lurking around Jar Jar Bricks’ edit of the TLJ & TROS novel, & I like their notion of adding Anakin in more as a means to make the ST feel more connected to the idea of I-VI being about The Tragedy of Darth Vader. While they said it can only be done with the novelizations, I think there are ways of accomplishing this in the movies. Here’s what I think would be doable in TROS:

Darth Raditz said:

-When Kylo arrives on Exegol, instead of Palpatine, he encounters a Vision of Vader, using the Fan Film Force of Darkness as a basis. However, you redub over Vader, making him sound more like either Hayden Christensen or Matt Lanter, & recolor his lightsaber from red to blue. It gives agency to Anakin, it makes an intriguing image to see Vader with blue lightsaber & therefore allows a glimpse into Kylo’s psyche at the time.

-When Kylo places his hand on mask, trying to speak to Vader, he’ll get visions of Anakin from the PT trying & failing to be a good person, suffering, until we see child Anakin walking away with Qui-Gon, only recut/recolored so that Anakin is looking disapprovingly at Kylo. You can also recolor shots of Kylo on Crait to better sell the idea that Kylo and Anakin are looking at each other.

-Lastly, after Han’s memory convinces Kylo to turn back to the light, as Kylo throws his lightsaber away, we cut back to Han who is slowly morphin into Anakin’s Force Ghost. This is Anakin giving Kylo the last push he needs to go help Rey. Even if Kylo doesn’t know why he saw his father, it’s effective.

As for TLJ, this is a little trickier, but it would be cool if when Rey’s trying to convince Luke to train her or that Kylo could be saved, have Luke ask R2 to “play the last time you saw my father,” and R2 shows a hologram of Anakin choking Padme on Mustafar as part of the reason why Luke doesn’t want to train anyone.

I’ve been lurking around Jar Jar Bricks’ edit of the TROS novel, & I like their notion of adding Anakin in more as a means to make the ST feel more connected to the idea of I-VI being about The Tragedy of Darth Vader. While they said it can only be done with the novelization, I think there are ways of accomplishing this in the movie

-When Kylo arrives on Exegol, instead of Palpatine, he encounters a Vision of Vader, using the Fan Film Force of Darkness as a basis. However, you redub over Vader, making him sound more like either Hayden Christensen or Matt Lanter, & recolor his lightsaber from red to blue. It gives agency to Anakin, it makes an intriguing image to see Vader with blue lightsaber & therefore allows a glimpse into Kylo’s psyche at the time.

-When Kylo places his hand on mask, trying to speak to Vader, he’ll get visions of Anakin from the PT trying & failing to be a good person, suffering, until we see child Anakin walking away with Qui-Gon, only recut/recolored so that Anakin is looking disapprovingly at Kylo. You can also recolor shots of Kylo on Crait to better sell the idea that Kylo and Anakin are looking at each other.

-Lastly, after Han’s memory convinces Kylo to turn back to the light, as Kylo throws his lightsaber away, we cut back to Han who is slowly morphin into Anakin’s Force Ghost. This is Anakin giving Kylo the last push he needs to go help Rey. Even if Kylo doesn’t know why he saw his father, it’s effective.

I saw an edit of Version 1 about a week ago & I absolutely loved it. Completely changed how I feel about Force Awakens, it feels much more deliberate, purposeful, a remix instead of a remake of ANH (my favorite bits are Kylo reading Han’s thoughts & the new lines for TR8R). Simply great.

I don’t want to rehash what others have said too much (especially Eddie Dean’s equally great review on Page 64), but there are a few things I’m hopeful for in Version 2:

-There are still a few too yellow-looking shots of the sand of Jakku, which is a shame because the parts where the sand’s white are incredible

-It took me awhile to figure out what the tracking device on the Falcon was for Han. I had to play this edit & the movie to figure out you added a humming to the light Han turns off. It wouldn’t hurt to add a voice saying “tracking off” to make it clearer

-I’d love to see you incorporate the Visions ending in V2, where Rey dreams of seeing Luke on Ach-To rather than actually meeting him. Until the end, Ach-To is always something that Rey’s seen in her dreams, and that fits nicely with Rey’s idealism in this movie (as well as contrasting very well with TLJ, where we see the “reality” of Rey meeting Luke). Plus, it allows for more time to have passed between TFA & TLJ, rather than seemingly taking place one after the other.

In any case, good luck with V2!

Thanks for the reply! I’m all about Poe being a more inspirational figure in his own right.

I was reading the thread for Jar Jar Bricks’ Novel edit for TROS, and it made me wonder if, so long as you’re giving Kylo new dialogue, could you make it clear that the body Palpatine is in is a clone & not his original form miraculously surviving the explosion of Death Star II?