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DZ-330

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Join date
22-Dec-2016
Last activity
30-Apr-2024
Posts
1,054

Post History

Post
#1473771
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

Building on that, here’s my take…

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, a new sinister
power has risen to threaten the
galaxy. Descending into endless
divide, the New Republic has failed
to address this growing threat.

In the wake of this failure,
Leia Organa has organized a
daring RESISTANCE to find the lost
Jedi, and restore a light of hope
to the waning stars.

The evil FIRST ORDER, emerging
from a hidden fortress of the
fallen Empire, hastens toward
the haggard wastelands of Jakku,
where a clue to Luke’s whereabouts
has been discovered…

Post
#1471683
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

Here is a take on CaptainFaraday’s using some of the other ideas posted, and just removing Snoke entirely (like TLJ does):

Chaos reigns! The New Republic
has been decimated. In the wake of
this terrible disaster, the treacherous
FIRST ORDER races to seize control
of the galaxy’s central star systems.

General Leia Organa’s RESISTANCE is
desperate for the return of Jedi Master
Luke Skywalker, certain that he can quell
the rising threat and restore a spark of
hope to their fight.

But the Resistance has been exposed.
As the First Order speeds toward
the rebel base, the brave heroes
mount a desperate escape…

Post
#1471627
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

Made a quick edit of Hal’s:

Having decimated the New Republic capital, Supreme Leader Snoke presses his advantage to seize military control of the galaxy’s central star systems.

Failing to prevent the devastating Starkiller atrocity, General Leia Organa’s RESISTANCE fears that only the return of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker can restore a spark of hope to the fight.

But the Resistance has been exposed. As the First Order speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes mount a desperate escape…

Post
#1471581
Topic
The Last Jedi: Legendary (Released)
Time

Maybe something more like this for the crawl:

The galaxy is in chaos. With the Republic decimated, Supreme Leader Snoke deploys his remaining troopers to seize military control of the galaxy.

Struggling for help in this void, General Leia Organa has sent Rey to find Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, certain that he will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.

As the FIRST ORDER speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes mount a desperate escape, determined to restore order to the galaxy…

Post
#1465266
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Time

Octorox said:

Hal 9000 said:

I’ll reconsider my list of changes, but I really do wish to remain distinct from Starlight and avoid bending too much in its direction, even to include stuff I like. It’s there to be viewed in its own right, after all. One thing that may not be obvious unless you’re thinking about going about editing is that Starlight is sort of a gordian knot and some things about it I like only work alongside more extensive changes.

I don’t plan to use the dice scene or Falcon deleted scene, as much as I enjoy them, for instance. Not wanting a huge revamp, just that there’s a few things Starlight presents that enhance TFA:R’s existing goals.

Sounds like I may have to make my own edit that splits the difference between TFA:R and Starlight then 😛

Send a PM when finished!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens [A Starlight’ed Restructuring] 😂

Post
#1465232
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Time

Octorox said:

I wouldn’t add the whispers when Rey shoots the Stormtroopers, or remove the reference to the Death Star (I kind of like that bit of lampshading, even if it is a bit too cute by half.)

Personally I also don’t think the thumbs up moment lands as well without BB8 divulging the base location but I could go either way on that.

Otherwise I agree with everything on your list.

I can definitely see your point on those.

The only reasons I would say to include the whispers is that it was done on @Poppasketti’s cut of TLJ. Not sure if Hal added them to his or not. It is just a continuity thing with other fanedits of the sequels. So it could go either way.

I agree with the thumbs up moment as well. It is a cute moment but it kind of feels a little jarring if BB-8 does not give away the location.

As for the Death Star, it would be amazing if that hologram was replaced with Death Star II to show how much BIGGER Starkiller is. Plus removing the comparison would make the tagline of this edit irrelevant: “It’s another Death Star…”

Post
#1465223
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Time

Octorox said:

The scene from Starlight I would most want to see brought in is Han hanging up the dice in the Falcon cockpit.

Honestly I think you could be a little more liberal in borrowing changes and this edit would still have a unique identity and reason for being. Imo Starlight’s biggest swing is changing Rey’s arc from a traditional hero’s journey to a more ominous dark-side adjacent thing. That is a clear change in tone and intent which deviates from what the original film was trying to do. The color grading and voiceover changes also feel more editorial: an attempt to shape the film into something else than what I was. I think if you keep these changes out but bring in moments like Han’s dice, the restructured Starkiller base firing sequence, and Kylo on the Falcon, you could make a definitive edit for those who just want an enhanced cut of the original film, rather than something that radically alters the tone and intent.

Agreed, I listed some of the changes from the Starlight edit that either fix errors in the original film or help to improve continuity for the trilogy. I think these are fair changes that still would keep the goals of Restructured separate from those of Starlight.

Post
#1465165
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Time

Changes to consider from STARLIGHT: (Error fixes and continuity improvements)

ACT I

  • Animate the ladder of Poe’s X-wing to retract as he powers up the vessel.
  • Remove the continuity error of Kylo’s saber glow before it is activated to kill Lor-San Tekka.
  • Insert an etching of an island behind the pilot doll in Rey’s house to illustrate the content of her dreams.
  • Insert a light activating on the Falcon as it powers up, a light which Han deactivates later. This light indicates a tracking device which explains how Han found the Falcon so quickly.

ACT II

  • Cut the exchange where BB-8 traitorously divulges the location of the Resistance Base while still including the droid’s thumbs up.
  • Remove the ‘Cute boyfriend?’ repetition.
  • Restore scene of Han hanging his dice in the Falcon cockpit, as well as color correct shots directly before the scene so that it more accurately blends into the footage. (Further blends TFA with TLJ)
  • Remove Rey saying ‘Luke’ to Maz, allowing some more room for interpretation as to whether Maz is referring to Luke or Finn
  • Add sound effect of Destroyer exiting Hyperspace to help explain why everyone suddenly notices its presence.
  • Insert a new shot of the pirate ship Meson Martinet from Rey’s point of view, indicating that she intends to leave with Finn.
  • Rey’s frightened look upon killing Stormtroopers is accompanied by a sinister whispering taken from The Last Jedi.
  • Restructure the end of the Maz Castle battle so that Finn begins to run to Rey before it is obvious that he is too late.

ACT III

  • Remove the comparison of the Starkiller to the Death Star. (They should be comparing to Death Star II)
  • Leia’s ‘…again. Our system is the next target’ is replaced with her saying ‘The Senate is the target’, to which Poe adds ‘The Hosnian System’.
  • Intercut deleted scene of Kylo on the Falcon with the prior scenes, altered to include new music and sound effects indicating his happy memories on the ship.
  • Remove Poe’s lines reiterating how the sun draining works, in order to more quickly show the TIE interception.
  • Move 3PO’s line ‘It would take a miracle to save us now!’ until later, and include unused lines from Poe indicating that they are switching focus to dealing with the TIE fighters before attempting another run on the Oscillator.
  • Edit massive gulf that opens between the combatants to become merely a several meter crack in the ground. Remove shot of massive canyon.
  • Remove Snoke’s line ‘It is time to complete his training’, replacing it with the lines ‘There has been an awakening.’
  • Add shot of canyon forming to Rey collapsed over Finn in order to let the moment land.
  • Add the Binary Beacon to Finn’s bedside, implying Rey placed it there for him to find.
  • Remove the overly formal ‘my friend’ from Rey saying ‘Thank you, my friend’.