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Artan42

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3-Sep-2017
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25-Apr-2024
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Post
#1408671
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

and either trims to or the full removal of the Neimoidian admiral who serves as Anakin’s foil,

Unless it drastically affects the pacing, I’d rather he stayed. Seeing living CIS leaders and not just a endless array of Tactical and Super-Tactical droids is nice, but having a Neimoidian character who isn’t an absolute joke (even if he’s only brief) improves them as a species a whole lot. Lot Dodd is pretty cool compared to every other Neimoidian but Mar Tuuk is better.
Considering how much every other CIS leader is played as a joke (excluding Dooku), you have to wonder how they’re actually doing so well against the Republic.

Post
#1407350
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

Not sure I see the issue with “heck” vs “hell” - Star Wars has always had odd real-world expletives so this never felt out of place for me, unless there’s something I’m missing?

It’s just a really mild reaction to the situation. I don’t think ‘heck’ is even used again.
Edit: Me referring to it as ‘the most pressing issue’ was just humour. It has no impact beyond just sounding really amusingly underplayed for seeing Red shoot a ‘clone’ in the head, especially as Heavy does say ‘hell’ later in the episode.

EddieDean said:

Interesting take on Clone Cadets. Do you not feel that it’s necessary to focus us on our main characters and give a little extra context? Even without the Echo/Fives/Hevy setup, it feels necessary to set up 99/bad batchers, does it not? Interested to see if there’s a community consensus on this.

In terms of character it is important, in terms of plot it’s not. There’s very little in it that couldn’t be covered in a crawl, that’s what I mean.
I’m not saying it needs to be excised or even altered in any particular way, just that it feels less useful to the story of that arc than it is useful to the characters of the series as a whole.

Post
#1407342
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

I’ve given it a watch. Firstly, the most pressing issue is Cody, upon having seen Rex shoot a ‘clone’ in the head asks him what the ‘heck’ he’s doing. That’s just silly. Is there an instance of a clone saying ‘hell’ that could be used there?

As for the structure, I found the first episode to be the most problematic. It does cover all the necessary beets to make the second and third work, but it mostly feels unneeded. It does help with the pacing and characterisation but it just feels out of place and tacked on. It did originally as well. It never fit very well with ‘ARC Troopers’ and it doesn’t really fit as a two parter with the Listening Post episode either.

The Anakin hunting Grievous part is well done and ties the three episodes in better than the clone plot does.

‘Heavy always did hate that place’ seems a little overly dramatic to say he’d only been there two weeks. I also miss the ‘do we take prisoners? I. don’t.’ bit. Also, when Fives and Echo first turn up on Kamino and speak to 99, their surprise that he recognises them is out of place for people that have been gone for 2 weeks.

This was always going to be the most difficult cut to compile from a continuity stand point and I, unfortunately only have nitpicks and not any suggestions. I do mostly like how it’s come out and you’ve done a good job fitting it together, it’s just naturally weaker than the other cuts.

I don’t think there’s anything in it that would turn off new viewers though which is the important part.

Post
#1405537
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

I think I agree for most of the edits but I also think the Toydarians need a little bit of a role. I like the style of their city built for flying people and they lead to Savage showing why he’s so named. I also like Katuunko making a stand even though he probably knows he has no hope.

Christophsis, I’d suggest the crystals are important for the ray shield generation, the Republic does use some crystal based weapons (i.e. the lasers on the LAATs) but mostly they use the same sorts of weapons as the Separatists.
Malastair (the Dug planet) is their fuel planet and, as you point out, Kamino, Sullust, and the Medical Station are all military targets. It contrasts nicely with the end of the war and the Outer Rim Sieges where both sides are faffing around on places of no strategic importance not daring to strike at key sites like Kamino or Geonosis again.

Post
#1404492
Topic
The NumeralJoker/MechaSalesman 4K HDR Edits Megathread, Clips Previews, and Release Info
Time

hedgesmfg said:

The scene from Duchess of Mandalore was included and should be there.

Unfortunately, the only remaining sources of deleted scenes, as you point out, would have been in the Cad Bane cut, (His s2 arc had some as well), but the only sources I was able to gain access too were too poor quality to use effectively at the time, so I felt it was best to just take the hit and move on. Perhaps an extended v2 of that specific cut could be created at a later time, but right now it’s not a major priority.

Hope you’re enjoying the rest of the cuts otherwise.

Ah yes, as I said I was only flicking through before whilst waiting but I’ve since got it downloaded and Mas Amedda is there.

Oh I am enjoying them. Having them all edited together seems like the way they should always have been watched. Considering that several arcs were edited together for the DVD sets I wonder why they didn’t do it with all the arcs for Disney+. Still, the visual quality isn’t as good as yours so I’ll stick with yours and leave my DVDs in the cupboard.

Post
#1404491
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

I think that’s a good way of doing it. Considering how important Echo and Fives (the former especially) go on to be they do need to be the focus. It’s good that you’re keeping as much 99 as possible as he’s the clear inspiration for Clone Force 99 and Echo’s part in that.

One thing I find a bit weird (and this is with TCW in general not with these edits) is how ARC Troopers are classed as something to be promoted to, rather than a lighter version of the Clone Commandos. Fives does seem to have earnt some Special Forces bona fides by the Umbara arc but the pair of them in the Citadel arc and Jessie in the SoM arc are basically normal troopers with fancy armour.
The other thing is how much Cody defers to Rex despite out-ranking him. I know they were going for playing down Cody so audiences didn’t get to liking him, but it leaves Cody looking like another trooper in fancy armour.

Post
#1404277
Topic
The NumeralJoker/MechaSalesman 4K HDR Edits Megathread, Clips Previews, and Release Info
Time

I’ve just been having a flick through the various TCW film cuts whilst waiting for several to download (curse my download speed) and I’ve noticed that you included several deleted scenes in the pilot film, the Maul film, and the Yoda arc.

Is there any reason you didn’t include the fully rendered deleted scenes from ‘Duchess of Mandalore’ (Anakin Speaks with Mas Amedda, Padmé Challenges Mas Amedda, & Republic Fleet Ordered to Stand Down), ‘Evil Plans’ (C-3PO Reunited with Shiny R2-D2), ‘Hunt for Ziro’ (Ziro Loses the Bracelet & Quinlan Finding Snooty’s Bracelet), and ‘Escape from Kadavo’ (The Queen and Dooku).

To my knowledge these are the only deleted scenes that are fully rendered and voiced in a similar way to the ones you have included.

Post
#1403499
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

Despite Ahsoka’s major role in TCW, there’s not really many points in RotS where she would necessarily be mentioned naturally. Most of the film happens in a very short period of time and Ahsoka has already left the order for several months by the time the film happens and Obi-Wan and Anakin have probably got over the stage of talking about her all the time.
There’s really only two places I could think she’d fit in the film and the first was added in NFBisms’ New Canon Cut (the report on the Outer Rim Sieges) and the second when Padmé, and the Obi-Wan are trying to reason with Vader on Mustafar, mentioning a Jedi who left the Order and formed attachments and also managed to not kill a room full of children, would possibly have been a good move then.

Post
#1401895
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

sade1212 said:

Ahsoka going apeshit on Gunray in the interrogation feels like a very Anakin thing for her to do, but you don’t get the impression she’s spent very much time with him yet, so you can’t really read it as his influence.
While your idea to have Anakin immediately palm Ahsoka off is an amusing one, I think there’s just too many little references in this episode to Ahsoka being Anakin’s Padawan for it to work perfectly. If anything, perhaps this episode would be better placed a bit later so we can interpret it as Anakin’s unorthodox style rubbing off on her a little.

I think it’s clear in the pilot film (and in the Refocused cut as well) that Ahsoka’s aggression and cockiness is her own rather than taught by Anakin. The (presumably cut episodes) droid spy early episodes show he’s mostly annoyed by her recklessness so it’s not too surprising he’d want her to spend some more time with more boring Jedi.

It looks like Yoda’s plan all along, she’ll teach Anakin patience due to her boundless enthusiasm and he’ll teach her to focus that aggression properly because Anakin is a creative thinker in ways most of the other Jedi aren’t.

Post
#1401474
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released)
Time

sade1212 said:

I particularly enjoy HAL’s suggestion in the commentary that Korr Sella (Leia’s envoy) is “that girl from Doctor Who”, despite her not being played by Freema Agyeman or any other actress who ever appeared in Doctor Who.

Yeah, I somehow still haven’t finished watching this two hour commentary track despite starting days ago…

Edit:
“Final scenes in Star Wars don’t have dialogue.”
(':

She is from Legends of Tomorrow, which is basically Doctor Who if DW was made by The CW rather than the BBC.

Post
#1401172
Topic
Complete Saga Radical Redux <strong>Ideas</strong> Thread
Time

Or alternatively audiences can be expected to work things out from context rather than exposition and work out what looks cool themselves rather than basing it on other films. Maybe they could also draw on the fact that nobody watching any of the Star Wars films, in whatever order, will be going in blind as there’s nobody on the planet that doesn’t already have some basic knowledge of it due to their influence of pop culture and will sensibly start with the first numbered episode as intended and happily follow along.

Post
#1400054
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

You’re right about Ahsoka’s language being a little weird - I did take out some of her weirder language because she says a few things that are awkward or too bold in this episode - I did try to clean them up but couldn’t for whatever reason. but I’ll check again though.

I think it’s a matter of finding the balance. Part of the greatness of her character is how much she grows up from the pilot film to Rebels and removing too much of the childishness she exhibits makes that transition a bit jerky and less fluid, especially when it’s pointed out that’s she’s on the young side for a padawan anyway (in the pilot film).
I do find the ‘hairless’ line just plain silly, not because it’s immature, but because it’s just hypercritical and I only mentioned the second line because I can’t remember if it creates a continuity issue or not.

Edit: I’ve just seen your edited post. I think it’ll work out fine that way. I’m sure the Jedi are taught about Nightsisters to the point where a bald, Force wielding, woman, with tattoos can be assumed to be a witch to a Jedi anyway even if they’re not.

Post
#1400032
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

SECOND EPISODE RELEASED - s01e03 CLOAK OF DARKNESS

Please check the tracker for the link, or PM me for access to the tracker.

So, while I was waiting on an improved source for my s01e01, I got to work on s01e03. This was going to be Cloak of Darkness with a handful of scenes from Lair of Grievous, but I ultimately couldn’t get the Lair content to feel like it belonged. So it’s essentially just Cloak of Darkness with a little polish - I took out a boring scene, cut or modified four or five minor lines of dialogue just to tighten characterisation, and made the ending closed rather than open ended.

One thing I did decide to do was to make the traitor/infomant from Christophsis now explicitly Argyus. Why not! I think it’s tidy.

(See my earlier post for the reasons I couldn’t include Lair. I do still have the rough cut of the Lair content if anyone’s interested, but I’m sure you’ll come to the same conclusion I did!)

There are a couple of minor bits of polish still required in the credits, but again, I’m waiting on a source. As soon as I have that, I’ll re-release all of the existing episodes in closer to ‘final’ version as I finalise my standards.

Since this was really just polishing an existing episode, I kept the name CLOAK OF DARKNESS, to represent that this really isn’t anything new. Though I did think of making a pun on ‘Unduli’, such as ‘Unduly Alarmed’ or ‘Unduly Betrayed’.

(This is maybe a good time to remind people that I estimate that about 50% of episodes - about 30 out of 60 - will only require a polish pass rather than anything radical, so please don’t always expect something new. What they will be at the least, will be the best or most important episodes of the show, in an order that makes the show flow better, and brought up to a slightly higher standard than TCW at release.)

I’m still interested in any feedback on the opening titles, and the closing ones. I’ve made some changes to the end titles to give the best art a little longer to shine.

Two observations that don’t relate to your cut at all but rather the original episode. Ashoka insulting Ventress as ‘hairless’ is just silly, she also calls her a ‘Bog Witch’ and I had no idea anybody knew she was a Nightsister that early, secondly Argyus is voiced by James Masters.

The only observation I have about your cut (other than it looks and sound good with no errors I can pick out) is that the episode credits is the one from ‘Death Watch’ rather than this episode.

Post
#1399400
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

Artan42 said:

EddieDean said:

Why does Obi go to visit the mines?

I’m sure the episode explains this- he’s suspicious that they may be active and Death Watch, and goes to check them out.

Why does the the mines level of operation indicate Death Watch activity?

They’re clearly being used to produce new Mandalorian armour- the same armour that the commando who attacked the Republic cruiser was wearing. He trusts that Satine would be telling him if the peaceful Mandalorians were producing their own armour again.

It’s that last bit though, that they’re now being used as factories that I don’t recall being highlighted in the episode. It’s an effective shot when he sees that they are producing the armour, but his argument for leaving Satine in the first place was to see if the mines were active or not. There’s nothing previously to suggest that the Concordians mining is suspicious activity. Mines aren’t foundries or factories (at least not automatically) so it’s a leap to go from ‘there’s mines on this planet’ to 'I bet they’re making supercommando armour there).

As I write this I know exactly what would have cleared it up… The word ‘Beskar’. Beskar mines would indicate armour production. It’s a shame the word is never mentioned in TCW.

I’ll look at episode 1 this evening.

Oh man, that’s a lovely idea. And even the theoretical first time viewer would recognise that a significant word had been said, even if they didn’t know what it meant.

I’ll add that to the “watch out for this” list. I’m sure Obi-Wan says some combination of “best”/“scar” or “be”/“sc”/“are”/“our”.

I’d still argue that jetpacks and Mando helmets are a sign that someone’s involved in re-arming Mandalorians who isn’t a part of the now-peaceful government. But this would definitely help get it over the line.

The good thing about McGregor and Taylor putting on an English accent to play Obi-Wan is that they both over-enunciate individual syllables in certain words (especially Taylor) which would make it easier to construct new words out of their existing ones.

Post
#1399388
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

McFibb said:

EddieDean said:

Knight of Kalee, just spotted your edit.

I agree on tightening up the text shadow a little.

I’m going to struggle with the outro credits in this and every episode, since it always builds up then drops into the bombast of the original.

Unless @McFibb has an idea to draw out the opening of the music track I’m using any further? More of a build then drop into the operatic singing? It’d need to be about 20/30 sec before the current start, with the peak just before where the start is.

But even then, it’s not something I’d be able to use in every episode, I don’t think.

Yup — that’s what I meant by helping out. Love the music too, but happy to take a swing at getting the timing/tone right for the entirety of the outro. Can you clarify a bit more about what you’re looking for?

I’ll try:

So we’re talking about extending the start of ‘The Clones Theme Order 66 Sad Version’.

Currently, it begins with a little hum, then some choral singing, then the brass comes in.

Compare that to existing episodes (like my S01E02), where the final dialogue to close out the episode normally plays over some music which builds slowly for about 30 seconds, giving the sense it’s wrapping up the story, then drops into the BA-BAHHH of the Clone Wars logo / closing credits.

As it stands now, because I’m cutting the BA-BAHHH, we end up with a track slowly building, but then fading out so that I can drop into the choral music of ‘Clones Sad’.

I feel like the best way to achieve the same effect with this track would be to allow the brass drop to replace the original credits’ BA-BAHHH, in which case the choral part becomes our build up.

I’ve quickly mocked this up (VERY ROUGH, excuse quality) to give you an idea of what I’m thinking makes sense.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JwpM7ATxqbDAlMh_6ggOWkFntD0Y_3SE/view?usp=sharing

The top yellow track in this video is the episode’s video, the bottom yellow track is the music channel, and the bottom blue track is the voice/sfx.

You can see that, to replace the existing track entirely, I’ve had to pull the beginning of Clones Sad back 30 seconds into the episode proper.

I’ve extended the choir to do this, which I think is neat, but it’s probably way too dominant. I don’t know if you could achieve something more subtle. Or something which achieves the same emotional effect, but with different sounds - but which still launches nicely into the brass drop. And I’d prefer not to lose the choir altogether since I think it’s a nice part of the anticipation.

There’s also a risk that other episodes start their build as early as maybe 40 seconds in, in which case I’d need maybe 40 seconds of neutral/choral build before we get to the brass drop.

I think that particular example works well. Maybe slowly ramping up the volume would lead into the credits without worrying about how long it is extended for. Some episodes you might be able to merge the choir at a low volume unobtrusively slowly fading out the rest of the music into the credits.

Post
#1399385
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

EddieDean said:

Why does Obi go to visit the mines?

I’m sure the episode explains this- he’s suspicious that they may be active and Death Watch, and goes to check them out.

Why does the the mines level of operation indicate Death Watch activity?

They’re clearly being used to produce new Mandalorian armour- the same armour that the commando who attacked the Republic cruiser was wearing. He trusts that Satine would be telling him if the peaceful Mandalorians were producing their own armour again.

It’s that last bit though, that they’re now being used as factories that I don’t recall being highlighted in the episode. It’s an effective shot when he sees that they are producing the armour, but his argument for leaving Satine in the first place was to see if the mines were active or not. There’s nothing previously to suggest that the Concordians mining is suspicious activity. Mines aren’t foundries or factories (at least not automatically) so it’s a leap to go from ‘there’s mines on this planet’ to 'I bet they’re making supercommando armour there).

As I write this I know exactly what would have cleared it up… The word ‘Beskar’. Beskar mines would indicate armour production. It’s a shame the word is never mentioned in TCW.

I’ll look at episode 1 this evening.

Post
#1399131
Topic
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one!
Time

Dr. Krogshöj said:

Artan42 said:

The opening of the episode is quite abrupt. I’ve not had time to follow this thread recently so I don’t know if it’s come up before, but a traditional establishing shot of the planet might be better. I know the text has introduced Obi but he still basically appears out of nowhere. the following scenes up until the throne room go by very quickly so even a few seconds of Obi on approach to the planet would fit.

The answer to your question lies above.

Indeed it does. I did also state I’d not been reading the thread for a few days. It does however make sense. An extension to the scene would require the unedited soundtrack.