Akwat Kbrana

Recently, Warb proposed that somebody start a new thread "where we plot how to kill Frink." Frink liked the idea, so in response to this overwhelming demand, Akwat Kbrana Inc. proudly presents you with...this thread! The Great Frink Assassination Conspiracy Plot Alphabet Game Thread!!!

Here's how it works: rather than just randomly posting your ideas for Frink assassination, we'll make the process into a game! Each proposal must begin with the letter of the alphabet which follows the first letter of the previous proposal. For example

Flay him alive!

Give him a lethal atomic wedgie!

Heap thirteen tons of curdled tapioca on him!

See how that alphabet thing works? Pretty clever, eh?

It should go without saying that anyone who fails to follow this pre-arranged alphabetic structure, can consider him/herself on PROBATION!!!

I'll start: Asphyxiation!!

DISCLAIMER: This thread is not intended to eventuate in any actual Frink assassination, and it should be stressed that Akwat Kbrana Inc. strongly opposed any actual violence. (Except for violence toward zombies, which is a hoot and a half.) The purpose of this thread is merely to postulate how we would assassinate Frink if we were actually going to do so. Which...y'know...we aren't.

(Updated) That being said, anybody who actually assassinates Frink can consider him/herself on TRIPLE SECRET PROBATION and shall thereafter hold the title of PERMANENT ASSHAT. Now, let the comic hilarity ensue.

Also, if you're going to include the deleted scene, I would suggest cutting the scene a few seconds short to eliminate the cheesy fanservice at the end.

Matthew Brock said:

Look! When the letters in "Lisa Miller-Johnson" are rearranged, they spell out, "Lo! Hell rains on Jim!"

Lisa Miller-Johnson said:

And what do you think that means?

Matthew Brock said:

I don't know, but it sounds like bad luck for Mr. James.

I think I'll purple update wages to the second officially ultimate horse suffering through a period of unspeakable German magnitude.

This would seriously tempt me to get a wii...if it weren't for the fact that it will feature Daniel Craig's Bond. It's not that I thoroughly dislike DC; I just find him bland, uninteresting, and forgettable. And whatever your opinion of Pierce Brosnan's Bond, clearly Goldeneye belongs to him. So Daniel Craig = major dealbreaker.

TV's Frink said:

ChainsawAsh said:

The Eric Bana one ends with Banner hiding from the government in the Amazon, which is where the Ed Norton one begins.  Therefore, sequel.

Cool, now I don't have to watch the Bana one! :p

Man, count yourself lucky. I will never get those 138 minutes of my life back. I think I could actually feel my IQ dropping during the last half hour or so...

I've been watching the Star Wars saga with the Rifftrax commentary appended (the only way I can stomach the PT is when it's being mercilessly mocked).

I've just started Ep. 6. My analysis so far:

1 isn't that great. 5 is ok. 2-4 are absolutely hilarious. Looking forward to the comic hilarity that 6 is sure to bring. (That being said, I'm surprised that, given the popular view that 1 is the worst of the PT, the Rifftrax commentary on that one just didn't measure up to 2-3.)

TV's Frink said:

^Topic Winner

*takes a bow*

A ZOMBIE bow, that is. :P

EDIT: In case anyone was wondering what a zombie bow looks like, I've attached a helpful illustration.

Probably nothing will come of this. But if it does...take a deep breath and prepare yourself for more universe shrinking, unnecessary CGI, and prequel-style stupidity.

Crygor64 said:

Akwat Kbrana said:

Crygor64 said:

I am a complete purist. I think the very idea of adding new scenes, new effects, etc makes you just as bad as George Lucas. It also undermines the very reason they created this forum.

*George must sit back and laugh when he sees the most popular topic on this forum isn't the petition, but rather a fan edit that is basically "the extra special edition."

*(assuming he's actually seen this forum)

I was going to give you a detailed explanation as to why the two cases aren't even remotely comparable, but I thought better of it. If you're too dense to figure it out on your own, then why bother?

You were going to, but you couldn't. That's the real truth. I'm sure you're smart enough to understand the irony created by the popularity of the Adywan Fan Edits on this forum.

*sigh* Ok, I'll bite.

The flaw in your reasoning stems from this kind of thinking:

 

The entire point of this web site was to preserve the original trilogy. And that's mainly because most of us were disgusted with the changes made by George Lucas.  Some of us feel art should remain consistent to its original vision. Adding your own changes makes you just as bad as George Lucas, if not worse. (At least he can say "they're my films.") 

 

As it happens, most of us were disgusted with the SE changes, but that's not the main reason this web site was created. This website was created because George Lucas actively buried the theatrical versions, and took measures to revise cultural history by replacing them with his new improved versions. Most of us see that move as disgusting, not the concept of a SE in and of itself (as Chewtobacca aptly stated). Now presumably, if George went ahead and released the OOT in acceptable quality, none of us would give a rat's ass whether or not he continued to sell the SE OT as well. Because nobody would then be foisting the revised versions on us. The SE fans would watch their versions, we would watch our versions, and all would be well.

But whereas the SE's have become the means by which George suppresses the OOT, the same cannot be said of Adywan's Revisited edits. They're just another fun (and more impressively executed) alternative to the SE OT, if one is so inclined to watch something like that. You obviously aren't that kind of person. Ok, so don't download them, don't watch them, and quit whining. No one's forcing you to watch Revisited. Adywan isn't replacing the OOT with his versions as George Lucas has, so the two cases aren't parallel in the least.

Furthermore, Adywan's ESB theatrical reconstruction is the closest facsimile we have of the original film in reasonable quality, so you should be grateful for his efforts if you really care about the plight of the OOT. For my part, I wish him luck with both his Revisited edits as well as his planned ANH reconstruction.

In Fellowship of the Ring, check out the look on Gandalf's face during the Council of Elrond when he first hears Frodo say, "I will take it! I will take the ring to Mordor!" First scene I thought of upon reading the OP...

Yeah, the fact that this is being shot in 3-d has really dampened my enthusiasm for it. Must everyone jump on the Avatar-3d-gimmick bandwagon? I refused to go see Avatar in 3-d just because I dislike anything faddish. But apparently I was just about the only one who felt that way; after the Avatar hype, I haven't heard of a single major movie on the horizon that isn't being shot in 3-d or, having already been principally shot in 2-d, converted into 3-d prior to premiering. On top of that, old classics like Star Wars and Titanic are being converted into 3-d for another theatre run/mad grab for people's money. Will the 3-d madness never end?

That being said, I do think that Martin Freeman is a superb choice for Bilbo. And I really hope this location situation gets resolved quickly, and filming can commence in New Zealand. It just wouldn't be right if it was shot anywhere else.

fishmanlee said:

changing music in a scene is one thing taking out a sound effect, thats something else

*sigh* No, I don't dislike the PT soundtracks. In fact, I consider the soundtracks of Ep. 1-3 to be a good deal superior to that of ep. 6. My comment was simply a sarcastic response to fishmanlee's:

i really think there should be NO howl

It was intended to be an amusing dig, given the fish's history of "rescoring."

Does anyone else remember all the idiots on TFN who were convinced that Palpatine and Sidious would turn out to be two different people? It was going to prove George's "creative genius," and leave all of us unsophisticated OT types (who were gullible enough to believe Palps = Sidious) with egg on our collective faces.

Maybe you should replace the howl with PT music.

I'm more curious about "muchas gracias Anda que te coja un burro No me jodas!", which Google Translate renders as: "thank you very much Come take a donkey you F*ck me!"

Makes about as much sense as everything else he says, actually.

Anyone here speak Spanish? I'm curious to know whether or not his Spanish is as deplorable as his English...

Whenever I listen to the American National Anthem, I like to hear it in the stunning, crystal clarity of DTS!

It seemed...apropos.

Steve's legacy here is clear: respect and appreciation for our fans -- and ongoing dialog -- are core values at Lucasfilm that will continue in full force.

Bull scatology. Respect and appreciation is only extended to those fans who toe the party line. In which case, it really isn't genuine respect and appreciation, is it?