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The Force Awakens - The Brazen Fanedit

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Hi! I completed a version 1.1 of my personal Force Awakens fanedit recently and have been getting some nice feedback from those that have viewed it so thought I would offer it here should anyone be interested.

Although a big fan of the film and all the boxes it managed to tick for a thirty-six year old Original Trilogy guy, some small elements I thought could perhaps benefit from a slight cut here or there, and was inspired to finish by reading about similar efforts here on the forums.

Changes are too numerous to count but range from tightening edits, rejoining existing split shots, and reorganising sequences, reincorporating some deleted or extra footage, score replacements, to more controversial diminishing or removing of entire characters (sorry Phasma! Love the costume but you didn’t add anything to the plot).

As a personal exercise to (finally) learn some Premiere the results may vary from the unnoticeable to not so. Some segments like the mostly excised rathtar sequence feature heavy cuts, re-edits, and shots farmed from elsewhere in the movie to reconstruct a new scene. This results in a couple of moments that are maybe not perfect in result, but hopefully not jarring or nonsensical.

If anything sticks out that I’ve become blind to, do feel free to suggest alterations, and I’ll attempt to answer any questions below.

Message me for the link!

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Interesting indeed. Thanks for sharing the info about your Edit.

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 (Edited)

Off the top of my head here are some of the larger changes;

  • new crawl (leaving destination of map to unfold during the film).
  • Finn is just his name, Poe doesn’t name him.
  • Redubbed and subtitled Unkar.
  • Moved and recoloured TIE Apocalypse Now shot.
  • No Phasma (glimpsed once during the big Hux speech I believe, otherwise she’s gone).
  • Heavily reworked rathtar sequence (no Scot or Kanjiklub, or rathtars!) with new subtitles.
  • Moved and rejoined sequences.
  • New music in Maz’s castle.
  • Shouting “Traitor” is left for Kylo at end, trooper here majorly edited.
  • Moved some Snoke scenes around.
  • Starkiller firing moved to end (as others have done here also).
  • Composited in some captured Battlefront footage of a Star Destroyer with TIES over Takadona.
  • Kylo searches Falcon reinserted.
  • Muted/re-cut a lot of 3PO.
  • Un-mirrored some shots.
  • Restructured shield down sequence by moving some scenes and incorporating some TFA ad footage.
  • R2 unveiled near close.
  • Dialogue and pacing cuts (lots and lots of these actually - some tiny).
  • Rescored end with trailer music (epicness).
  • More I am probably forgetting…
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I’m sincerely hoping you were able to do something even better than before regarding the restructuring of the Starkiller Base subplot. I’d love a preview!

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I agree that Phasma added nothing to the plot, I didn’t like the character at all. Looks like a good change list. I’m definitely interested in seeing it!

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Depheros said:

I agree that Phasma added nothing to the plot, I didn’t like the character at all. Looks like a good change list. I’m definitely interested in seeing it!

Really hoping she gets some sort of arc in the next two. Seemed a very clear last minute edition unfortunately. Surprisingly simple to edit out.

Hardest scene to work out was lowering the shields at Starkiller base - while not perhaps a perfect solution I have tried to shape something at least that makes sense.

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Hello all! Had some great feedback on 1.1 thus far, and really appreciate the kind words and suggestions from those that have watched already.

A new 1.2 pass is in progress fixing

  • some overseen continuity lines.
  • a further re-re-cut (no) rathtar scene. They are never even mentioned now.
  • more dialog trims here and there (mainly to subdue some of Finn’s sometimes OTT deliveries).
  • tweaked audio levels.
  • moved scenes about to intercut between Rey escaping Starkiller and the guys lowering shields until they meet.
  • Hux no longer infers the Illenium (sp?) system is being targeted.

Do feel free to post here any other fixes you’d like to be considered, or errors you notice.

Still to do this pass is redub Unkar again, and correct spacing on crawl.

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 (Edited)

Hello Liambrazier,

I watched through your 15 minute preview on dropbox and have some feedback.

I really like you disclaimer card 😃

I have some suggestions for the crawl

Here’s the text from your current v1.1

The legacy of the Jedi has almost faded into myth. Continuing oppression in the common systems have crushed any thoughts of lasting hope for the galaxy.

A new FIRST ORDER have arisen from the ashes of the Empire. They now ready a giant weapon to finally wipe out the dissidents within the New Republic.

General Leia Organa leads a determined RESISTANCE, sending a pilot to a remote planet to retrieve vital information that could aid their cause. Information the First Order seeks out for themselves…

Here are some suggestions in italics

The legacy of the Jedi has has almost faded begun to fade into myth. Continuing oppression in the common systems have has crushed any thoughts of lasting hope for the galaxy.

A new FIRST ORDER have has arisen from the ashes of the Empire. They now ready a giant weapon to finally wipe out the dissidents of the galaxy, the New Republic.

General Leia Organa leads a determined RESISTANCE, sending a pilot to a remote planet to retrieve vital information that could aid their cause. Information the First Order seeks out for themselves…

These suggestions attempt to keep your original vision of the crawl while addressing somethings that either don’t sound Star Wars-y (imho) or are confusing to the reader.

(Grammar Nazi alert)
I know that the First Order implies many, but you began the sentence with A so it should be singular. It’s similar to the idea of Europeans are vs Europe is. Here it mirrors the latter example.
A similar instance occurs in the first paragraph. Continuing oppression has vs continuing oppressions have. The “in the common systems” is the where this occurs, so the has doesn’t link to it.

I like the hook of your first sentence. It does however make me question one of the premises of TFA. Does the whole galaxy believe the Jedi are a myth? I can understand Jakku and the rest of the outer rim, but 30 years is an extremely short amount of time. Not an issue so much with your crawl, but it is an interesting thought to consider. Your line echoes Rey’s later line “I thought he was a myth”, but I can’t believe the entire galaxy feels that way. Especially after Luke supposedly lead a galaxy wide Jedi search and was most likely linked to the formation of the New Republic.

One last nitpick. The crawl seems to fade out prematurely as it approaches the upper area of the screen. I know that JJ did this in TFA but I believe that was an error on his part.

Did you use JackPumpkinHead’s crawl creator?
I do like how your crawl is inferential rather than explicit. It lets the story tell itself rather than telling us completely what is going on.
Anyway, I like where your crawl is headed, Up Up and Away! 😉

I’ll download the whole preview and give further feedback asap.

digmodification.wordpress.com

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Thanks for the feedback! ANY help with grammar is always appreciated (I am terrible at it).

It’s created from scratch in Ae and yeah, it’s timed to match JJ’s so will look at New Hope to compare.

The link I sent out is NOT a 15min preview though, it is the entire 2hr edit. If you are having issue downloading from Dropbox please PM me again and I’ll send an alternate link.

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I’d love to watch this, can you send me a link to the edit?

Thanks

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littlev87 said:

I’d love to watch this, can you send me a link to the edit?

Thanks

Shoot me a PM and I’ll send you a link to the current 1.1, no problem.

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 (Edited)

Forgot to mention about the last paragraph of the crawl:
seek should be seeks

General Leia Organa leads a determined RESISTANCE, sending a pilot to a remote planet to retrieve vital information that could aid their cause. Information the First Order seek seeks out for themselves…

I had a 2 hour delay from school this morning so I watched through part of your edit. Here’s some feedback

First off, the colors are fantastic and the quality of your file is superb. I’d love to know your render settings.
The following is a critique of the material, not of you personally. I’ll admit that I’m kind of living through your edit as I’m not able to work on mine at this time.

0:09:03 - The regrading feels really off here. I’m assuming you were going for twilight here. This is difficult as the previous frames were extremely dark and during night.
0:09:57 - Great removal of Phasma
0:12:40 - Not sure why Unkar’s lines were removed. This scene feels odd now and I would suggest removing Unkar completely, but I see you have plans to change his lines.
0:17:35 - I like the idea of dubbing Unkar. This makes him more of a Jabba character. I’d like to hear some more inflection in his voice though, ala Jabba.
0:18:40 - Nice removal of ridiculous Finn lines
0:20:26 - Cut to bridge after explosions is a little rough audio wise
0:20:38 - cut to ventral cannons seems off, recommend cutting the cannons. We know they are there, do we need to see them?
0:20:19 - audio bleed over is a bit too long to my ears (by product of not having Phasma scene?)
I may have missed it, but when does Finn tell Poe his name in your edit? I know it’s implied, but it won’t make sense that he knows his name later on
0:22:26 - cut feels a little choppy
0:22:30 - nitpicky but I liked Ren’s lines about the clone army, it was kind of a dig on the prequels
0:33:02 - this transition is pretty jarring. There isn’t enough time for her to get in the hole. I’d recommend reworking this scene.
Rathtar sequence feels off audibly and visually, imho
0:40:07 - Transition to lightspeed sequence feels rushed. (are all of Snoke’s scenes saved for the end?)
0:46:45 - russian music? Then back to original music? Super jarring
0:48:08 - Audio transition is pretty abrupt here and throughout the entire Snoke scene. We need more narrative here. Who is the tall terrible CGI man? Maz is the one that explains I’m not a fan of this part
0:52:05 - This is a really odd transition, and it fades out.
0:53:47 - Not sure why we are going back to Ren in less than 5 minutes. Not sure why he stands up and continues to talk to the mask while he’s supposedly walking away offscreen?
0:56:10 - just curious about your audio decisions during the force vision
0:57:41 - Maz’s cut line of “but” is kind of needed to make the dialogue flow
1:00:00 - Music is really odd here, builds up then goes away, Finn’s line isn’t clear. Hux’s speech feels flat without a climax
Takodana just feels choppy. (was the stormtrooper retreat back into the carrier a deleted scene?)
So, is the reveal from Leia?

We share a lot of similar ideas cut wise. You are perhaps more kind to the character dialogue than I am at times. There are many audio transitions that feel abrupt and some of the narrative is unclear and choppy at times. Most of the choppiness occurred at Takodana and beyond. I found it pretty hard to follow from that point forward. I’m also not a fan of the rearranged Snoke and StarKiller base scenes. ANH had the DS fire early on to establish its threat and ability. I feel that we need that in this movie as well. To have them attack before we know why is a little hard for the viewer. I love the trailer music, but it just doesn’t fit here for me. Also, the slowed down scenes are choppy due to their altered frame rate.

Great first draft. Looking forward to continuing efforts 😃

digmodification.wordpress.com

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Cheers for the feedback! Very easy to overlook things after a while. I’ll take a good look at these in due course - some already addressed in the next version but some great pointers nonetheless.

On first glance the below grading is untouched - it’s present in the actual film!

DigMod said:

0:09:03 - The regrading feels really off here. I’m assuming you were going for twilight here. This is difficult as the previous frames were extremely dark and during night.

Great first draft. Looking forward to continuing efforts 😃

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Version 1.2 is uploading as I type.

Hopefully addresses most of the points people have brought up (even some of those mentioned that were actually just present in the actual film I’ve attempted to correct here).

In reference to what has changed from 1.1 to this;

  • Crawl redone to be more accurate
  • Recoloured the odd twilight shot of BB-8
  • Unkar re-RE-recorded and dubbed
  • Audio fixes
  • Rathtar sequence re-jigged
  • Maz castle music reinstated
  • Extra shot of castle monsters cleaned up (included by request of one of the actors in that scene)
  • Some scenes moved around for narrative sense
  • More mirrored scenes corrected
  • Load of other tweaks I didn’t bother to document - there’s a new Star Wars movie out!

Regarding some of DigMod’s questions above;
Snoke I think actually appears earlier in my cut than original(?) - not certain when Maz discusses him??
The only change to the ‘Force Vision’ bit is the removal of the repeated little Rey’s scream.
The first explicit reveal is the melted Vader + Grandfather moment.
And yes Poe doesn’t learn Finn’s name until they meet again at the base. There’s no ‘naming’. Finn tells Poe his name through replaced audio in the “that’s my jacket” scene.

PM me anyone interested in this new, improved cut.

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After excising heavily the rathtar scene as per suggestions in 1.2 I wasn’t happy with the pace of the remaining.

While this section I feel can never be perfect, alas, I went back and started from scratch on it for 1.3.

Now the setup is mostly intact up to the rathtar behind the door gag.

Then the Guavian gang arrive and have a little subtitled discussion with Han (using footage with the Scottish guy replaced with another helmeted one, and the audio lines from the kanjiklub).

Finn and Rey scramble about under the floor and do the whole wrong fuses bit.

You see the rathtar cages open, Han do his ‘bad feeling line’ then a hurried montage of the gang being attacked lit only from their blasters.

Then Han, chewie and Bb8 leg it to the door, there’s the shoot out, they get on the flacon with Rey and Finn, the remaining gang catch up and shoot at falcon. Falcon blasts out of hanger at lightspeed.

End scene.

I think it’s the closest I’ve gotten to a fair compromise with this scene. I’ve had to comp out the other gang in some shots, and un-mirrored one or two others. Chopped and changed a lot.

If anyone else has suggestions for improving this I’m all ears!

1.3 with this new scene will be uploaded today. As ever, PM for link.

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Hi,
Can I get a link to your fanedit of TFA? I thought the Heir to the Force edit was pretty well done but it looks like you made even more interesting adjustments. Thanks!

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jkimm said:

Hi,
Can I get a link to your fanedit of TFA? I thought the Heir to the Force edit was pretty well done but it looks like you made even more interesting adjustments. Thanks!

Sure. PM me for a link please. Note: it’s currently up to version 1.8

I am 98% happy with it, with just a couple of small tiny editing issues I’d like to fix at some point I noted on last watch, but otherwise this is (obviously) my go-to TFA now.

I am still up in the air on if I want to move all the island stuff to TLJ or not. As is I quite like the end with the music replacement I have done.

Please let me know what you think however!

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Dat_SW_Guy said:

Can you post a cutlist from v1.2 to v1.8?

Ug. Numerous minor trims. Stuff like Hux saying “trooper” instead of Stormtrooper (as it flowed really weirdly). Raptar scene now excised using some rearranging, and some footage from The Star Wars Show. Plutt probably redubbed since 1.2.

Can’t remember what was what version now tbh, sorry. Prefer to just edit by feel as I watch, if that makes sense!

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liambrazier said:

Dat_SW_Guy said:

Can you post a cutlist from v1.2 to v1.8?

Ug. Numerous minor trims. Stuff like Hux saying “trooper” instead of Stormtrooper (as it flowed really weirdly). Raptar scene now excised using some rearranging, and some footage from The Star Wars Show. Plutt probably redubbed since 1.2.

Can’t remember what was what version now tbh, sorry. Prefer to just edit by feel as I watch, if that makes sense!

“and some footage from The Star Wars Show.” ???

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stretch009 said:

“and some footage from The Star Wars Show.” ???

Some brief ILM shots of the Falcon going into hyperspace.

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I know a few people have seen the latest version of this now (2.0) so feel free to feed back here, or on the PM threads.

I forget specifically what was done for this version - probably some more tidying and small tweaks. There’s one particular addition to the forest fight I may now remove in the wake of TLJ, but otherwise there’s possibly some more I may do to the ‘sheild’s down’ sequence if I can cobble some footage together, and may cut Rey out of frame in the map scene (so her and Poe can meet in TLJ), but nearly there for sign off I think.

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Hi,
Do you think it’s possible you could reencode your edit again but this time at 23.976 frames per second instead of 30 fps? Sometimes I like to burn AVCHD discs but it has to be 23.976 to be compatible. Just a thought.

Thanks.

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stretch009 said:

Hi,
Do you think it’s possible you could reencode your edit again but this time at 23.976 frames per second instead of 30 fps? Sometimes I like to burn AVCHD discs but it has to be 23.976 to be compatible. Just a thought.

Thanks.

I should be able to do this. I’m still tweaking it however as I work on my TLJ - Rey hands Luke his saber in my TFA now, plus Porgs are seen on the island briefly to establish them, and TLJ opens with more of a time jump.

I’ll probably post an update here for this when I start a thread for my TLJ. Just nudge me if I forget.