Highly doubt a fanedit can save this movie for me as there’s just so much wrong with TLJ but these are the most promising plans for an edit that I’ve seen so far.
Good luck and God speed Digmod!
I do know what you mean … a lot of the Sequel Trilogy needs narrative restructuring, rather than post-production editing. We should have seen more of the New Republic and their rebirth, as well as the First Order’s growth.
You’re not wrong though unfortunately for me, my biggest issue is what they do to Luke’s character. Even if there was substantially more in the movie to explain Luke’s complete backflip to the point where you could say they “earned it”, I still don’t know if I could really ever accept RJ’s version of Luke Skywalker and so in that sense, every fan edit is already doomed to fail for me personally before I even watch it.
I don’t mind still helping with an edit though if I can and in respect to that, I can say that I think your teaser Digmod is already a massive improvement on many aspects (and if it weren’t for Luke’s character assassination I would be already calling this my definitive edit) though I think for the new crawl there are a couple of improvements to be made:
“LEGACY OF THE JEDI” looks a bit odd, like it’s propped up at a different angle to the rest of the crawl. Are you using Jackpumpkinhead’s crawl creator here? As it looks really great and sharp apart from this one flaw.
“The RESISTANCE is in flight!” feels a bit of and too short as an opener, I think something like the following might fit better: “After a triumphant victory in destroying Star Killer Base, the tables have turned with the RESISTANCE now in full retreat. THE FIRST ORDER has located their hidden base and are intent on eliminating their influence for good.”
“Rey races” sounds odd, almost like a super hero name so I think you just need a synonym for “races” or change the sentence structure a bit such as “Meanwhile, Rey is racing across the stars…”
Does “Without him, the cause for freedom…” sound better than “Without him, the cause of freedom…”?
“Leia and her freedom fighters” sounds odd to me because of the use of “freedom” only 2 lines earlier, maybe change it to “Leia and her resistance fighters” since they are the Resistance?
Would “All of their hope now lies in the return of the last Jedi…” sound better? Btw, I like your use of “return” and the 4 dots ;P
Other than those few things I think it sounds and reads very well.
My other suggestions / comments are regarding some of your cut list items:
- Remove the artsy shots throughout the movie
Does this include the Falcon spraying up the ocean water as it arrives at Ach-to (still shown in your trailer)? It definitely feels like an artsy / eye candy like shot, is pretty pointless to the story and needlessly risky in regards to what’s at stake to go skimming an alien ocean for the fun of it.
- Remove Poe’s single fighter assault on that incompetent dreadnought and all of the ridiculous dialogue in the scene
I noticed there was still some of this footage in the trailer, is this because it’s reused elsewhere such as when the bombing run happens later on as you plan? Also, do you think it possible to speed up the footage a bit to increase the bomber travel speed itself so it doesn’t appear so ridiculously slow?
- Remove Finn’s leaking suit scenes. We’ll just see him wake up.
Not sure what I really feel is possible here but when we see Finn cut up the spine in TFA and lapse into a comma, I fully expected him to have some drastic injuries and loss of functionality to the point that he would have a number of bio-mechanical limbs and body parts upon waking up in this movie, similar to Luke receiving his new hand at the end of TESB. So I didn’t know if it was possible to show any signs of a bio-mechanical mid to lower spine and/or additionally bio-mechanical legs? Probably a long shot and likely not even something you’d want to do yourself, it just feels like another thread from TFA that was thrown in the bin when he wakes up with no ill effects and becomes a walking joke (in a bad way though, I wasn’t laughing in my cinema seat).
- Remove Leia’s space force fairy scene. We’ll see the bridge get hit, but no one will go flying out in space.
Seeing that you’re removing this, I wonder if it’s at all possible to cut that Ackbar is killed off screen and instead have him kamikaze the ship into Snoke’s? Though it shouldn’t cut Snoke’s ship nearly in half nor destroy the other Star Destroyers, instead only heavily damaging Snoke’s ship. I will say that the fragmented light speed destruction is a beautiful scene but it throws far FAR too much into question for all previous films.
- Remove Luke throwing the saber, remove quippy dialogue on the island.
Excellent, I suggested in another thread if it was possible to make it seem like he simply drops the saber rather than tossing it over his shoulder. Apparently there is no footage in the theatrical of it hitting the ground but I think a deleted scene of a Porg sabering itself as it looks down the barrel and another accidentally turns it on may be usable to suggest this (obviously removing the porgs from the scene and maybe only even needing a single still from the scene)? Otherwise you’ll probably have to suffice for him just stalking away. Below is the link to my suggestion in full:
- Remove as much of the porgs including the Chewbacca scene
Is it worth just keeping a bit of Chewbacca in this scene as he eyes off the roasting porg and then cut away? So at least we get to see a little more of him. Maybe do this and recut it into another time in the movie, like just before Rey walks out from under the Falcon into the rain?
- Remove Luke milking the creature (at least we know where blue milk comes from now)
Is it actually blue though in TLJ? 😛 (seems more greenish to me than the blue seen in ANH)
- Remove Rey’s finger snaps during her force vision in the dark side cave
How does Rey even get out of this area when one assumes she doesn’t know how to swim having grown up on a desert planet?
- Lessen Kylo Ren’s tantrum in the turbo lift
I think this is a good idea that could play into some actual character development, showing that he’s starting to mature and control his emotions? But then you have the spittle fest at the end as he orders all walkers to fire on Luke and then when he faces off against him…
- Remove the Yoda scene (I get the message that was intended, but the scene was terribly executed imho)
Definitely terribly executed. Do you think there are any redeemable parts for a new scene here along with making Yoda actually look like a force ghost as we know them?
That’s it for me so far. Again, good luck!