Pick anything Star Wars related and compare it to a food. For example, AOTC is clearly the eggplant parmesan in the tupperware you just discovered is still in the back of the fridge, despite the fact that you made it over two years ago. Basically, don't dare to open that container.
Star Wars was compared to junk food in the 70's, although those detractors didn't specify what kind.
Where were you in '77?
The original trilogy is the most perfectly made batch of cookies in the history of ever, fresh out of the oven.
The special edition is those cookies, but weeks after they've been made, zapped in a microwave in a last ditch effort to make them warm and chewy. But instead they just suck and you end up throwing them out.
Apart from "Awesome Sauce"?
Probably ANH would be a good Steak, ESB would be fine Sushi and ROTJ would be comforting homemade Mac 'n' Cheese. TPM would be a bland Souffle, AOTC would be an overripe Camembert and ROTS would be like a Curry that tastes okay at first but then burns your mouth off and you don't want to eat anymore for a few minutes.
VIZ TOP TIPS! - PARENTS. Impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it’s a 3D model of a save icon.
SW is pizza
TESB is pizza with extra cheese and toppings
ROTJ is chicken noodle soup
TPM is dry bread
AOTC is mouldy bread
ROTS is mouldy bread that has been vomited back up
Star Wars '77 was the soup that your mom made once by starting with grandma's recipe, then throwing new things into the pot without measuring them. The result was absolutely, unexpectedly delicious and completely satisfying on its own.
ESB was your mom's attempt to replicate that soup by laboriously measuring each ingredient and tasting it at every turn, while grandma hovered around wondering what was wrong with her old recipe. It was only supposed to be basic vegetable beef soup, after all. The taste was more subtle, more delicious, more simmered in sauce than before, but the initial delight of discovery was gone, never to be recaptured. It also seemed incomplete on its own; it left you wanting more.
ROTJ was the soup as grandma made it, simply wanting her old vegetable beef soup again. Mom tried to add what made it special, but the results were confused, conflicting.
The prequels came about when grandma got too old and tired to care about using good ingredients, and instead made do with cans of Campbell's soup while hoping nobody would notice.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)
I recently discovered an avocado in the trunk of the car. It had a sticker on it that identified it as an avocado and instructed "Ripe when soft." It was very ripe. Also, I don't eat avocados.
Jar-Jar Binks is that avocado.
The blue elephant in the room.
Don't eat avocados?! You're going down, heathen!!!
Avocados are tasty and good for you. Gungan meat is tasty...one out of two ain't bad.
I now want to see Ewoks roasting a Gungan on a spit ...
Chili cheese fries
The whole franchise, or just the first movie?
Going back to the cookies analogy. Let's say the OOT is a tray of delicious fresh baked macadamia nut cookies with a few overdone-but-still-good ones in the back. In that case, the SE would be those same cookies braised with teriyaki sauce because someone wanted to ruin them in order to practice making Chinese food.
And I guess the prequels would be poorly cooked Chinese duck. (According to Plinkett's definition of "tshi.")
Hopefully the ST will be moar cookies without that many duck chunks. Maybe, if anything, there'd be the occasional chunk that was so small you don't even notice.
The Clone Wars series would be dinner served across the street that I don't really care about. Rebels is served on my neighbor's deck and smells all right, so I might walk over to the fence and see if I get invited over.
The Thrawn trilogy are off-brand Oreos that someone left open and are stale, but are okay if you have milk. But apparently now Dad says you can't have them anymore and you're not sure whether to be mad.
Jar Jar is a piece of gristle in the duck meat. Luke Skywalker is a white chocolate chip.
Podracer for N64 is the fortune cookie that came with the duck.
Overall, the non-SE Original Trilogy was a delicious 3-course feast for the imagination...
...while the Prequel Trilogy was 3 shit sandwiches overall.
Sorry, that's all I got.
ImperialFighter said:
...while the Prequel Trilogy was 3 shit sandwiches overall.
The OT = A big glass of blue milk
The PT = those gross candies called Circus Peanuts that are horrifically over sweatened and suck
Episode VII = a mystery flavored Star Burst
The Person in Question
Star Wars and Empire would be two authentic gumbos, Jedi that first gumbo made outside Louisiana, and the SE faux-cajun cooking you would get at the Cheesecake Factory.
TPM would be the Domino's Pizza your family would get every Friday night, AOTC the awful generic frozen pizza they had in supermarkets in the 90s, and ROTS would be the slightly better frozen pizza.
I'll take a Totino's Party Pizza over AOTC any day of the week.
moviefreakedmind said:
The PT = those gross candies called Circus Peanuts that are horrifically over sweatened and suck
OverSWEATened, eh? I can see why you don't like them. ;-)
TV's Frink said:
I'll take a Totino's Party Pizza over AOTC any day of the week.
Then AOTC would be a giant cracker with ketchup and cheese whiz that pretends to be pizza. ROTS would be same, but with tomato paste and kraft singles instead.
Is it too late to say that if Star Wars were a food, it'd be C-3PO's?
It's never too late.
TPM = wasabi
AOTC = garlic
ROTS = onion
ANH = maguro sashimi
ESB = zaru soba
ROTJ = ramen
真実
Star Wars is like one of those really expensive pizzas with sundried tomatoes and feta.
It looks like it's going to be junkfood, but turns out to be exquisite cuisine.
Continuing on the pizza trend...
SW is a huge freshly-made 18-inch pizza from your favorite Italian restaurant. It's a major sight to behold on the table, and you anticipate your first bite. The pizza doesn't disappoint, and you leave the table fully stuffed and satisfied.
ESB is that same pizza, but in a smaller size of 14 inches. Not as grand, but every bit as tasty. You can't help but want more.
ROTJ is the same pizza again, but slightly overcooked. It's still very tasty, despite some burnt bits here and there, and you're satisfied at the end.
The SEs are these pizzas but with ketchup squirted on them. The tasty stuff is still there, but you can't ignore the overbearing ketchup that got on everything.
TPM is a pizza delivered from Domino's. It's not nearly as good as the gourmet pizzas you had before, but it's still a pizza and it doesn't taste too bad. You're still very disappointed though because it wasn't what you expected.
AOTC is, well, one of these. It says "pizza" on the label, and it kind of looks like a pizza if you squint, but it isn't one. There's really nothing good to say about it.
ROTS is a cheap frozen pizza from the supermarket. It's edible, but there aren't too many toppings and it really isn't want what you wanted.