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The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 668

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That drawing for the ancient texts looks excellent, really great stuff! Should tie that idea together really nicely.

RogueLeader said:

If you mess with Jannah at all, JarJar, these were the changes I was considering for her if you’re looking for ideas:

Finn: I never knew there were more.
[Old Line] Jannah: Deserters? All of us here were stormtroopers.
[New Line V1] Jannah: All of us stormtroopers heard your story.
[New Line V2] Jannah: All of the stormtroopers here heard your story.

Jannah: We laid our weapons down.
Finn: All of you?
[Old Line] Jannah: The whole company.
[New Line] Jannah: Just like you.

I’d love something like this, if it can be integrated well. This stood out to me as a massive missed opportunity in the theater and I know many others felt the same. The new AI lines have a lot less crust, it’s impressive stuff. Kylo’s “You’re a ghost. In a rotting clone.” is just about seamless, for one. (Though I’m very much on team cut-the-clone-line. I’d still advocate for the older “rotting shell/husk” idea. I think the vat of Sheevs does enough.)

Honestly, though, I’m against the use of AI-generated performances in general-- especially for commercial use-- but tentatively speaking, non-profit fanedits like this feel like a unique use case to me. Especially with something that could use as much work as TROS. Still, I think it’s definitely wise to remain cautious.

But, at the risk of ignoring my own opinion, I’ve been thinking of an opportunity to tie a few story threads together with an extra line or two in the training flashback sequence.

“She was quick to learn in our training. But as we sparred, a shadow would pass over her. In the end, Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.”

In juxtaposition with the shot of Leia kicking her brother in the gut and throwing him to the ground, this could imply a struggle with her own pull to the darkness, and their shared concerned look afterward takes on that subtext. This would add another dimension to her wanting to help Rey work through her inner struggle. (Maybe she even regrets her own decision to shy away from the Jedi Path. She learns from her failure and passes it on to her student! Themes!)

I’ve condensed things as much as I could, to avoid overcrowding the narration. Still, here’s the maximalist version, just in case it inspires any other ideas.

“She was quick to learn in our training. We’re our father’s children. For better and worse. As we sparred, a shadow would pass over her. In the end, Leia chose to serve through diplomacy, as our mother once did, and the parents that raised her. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.”

The thought wass that this further emphasizes family legacy, including family of choice, which is significant to this movie in particular. However, including it all would make for too much computer and not enough actor, and most likely tip things into the uncanny and distracting-- just the sort of thing DZ-330 was talking about. Ah well.

(Clearly, the answer is to get Mark Hamill to read it all.)

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RogueLeader said:

I’m sensing a pattern with me spending a lot of energy on blink and you’ll miss it shots.

heal

If I need to make edits I can but here is the high res clip for now.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VorirravXQCUNYadlzaa-K9y9ZpMhRhc/view?usp=drive_link

Marvelous work! I salute you.

JEDIT: If I had a nitpick, I’d say that the dark figure is slightly too low on the page, leading to the horizontal energy link being slightly skewed downward. The only reason I mention it is because the viewer’s eye may not be drawn to the bottom of the screen quickly enough to absorb the image in this brief shot, so anything that could help bring the image higher in the frame would be helpful.

Note in my mockup the dark figure is quite a bit larger, due to the perspective:

Of course, the perspective is probably a bit too extreme here, and I like how your version is less distorted.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Awesome, RL! I still need to get the line to work after the sandworm to correspond. It’s good that Rey sounds almost Padme-level dry monotone at times because her AI voice is very flexible.

As stated, AI opens many doors but I do want to keep it to a minimum, or at least limited to things that… make sense and are good ideas? Lol

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.

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RogueLeader said:

I’m sensing a pattern with me spending a lot of energy on blink and you’ll miss it shots.

heal

If I need to make edits I can but here is the high res clip for now.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VorirravXQCUNYadlzaa-K9y9ZpMhRhc/view?usp=drive_link

I think this shot could be greatly improved if it stays in the book for half second to a second more, to avoid the blink and miss

the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural

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Nah, it’s the perfect length as-is. Too long would feel conspicuous.

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.

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 (Edited)

Thanks for the notes! I probably won’t get to again until this weekend, at least, but I’ll look at getting closer to your mock-up.

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VVPizza said:

But, at the risk of ignoring my own opinion, I’ve been thinking of an opportunity to tie a few story threads together with an extra line or two in the training flashback sequence.

“She was quick to learn in our training. But as we sparred, a shadow would pass over her. In the end, Leia felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.”

In juxtaposition with the shot of Leia kicking her brother in the gut and throwing him to the ground, this could imply a struggle with her own pull to the darkness, and their shared concerned look afterward takes on that subtext. This would add another dimension to her wanting to help Rey work through her inner struggle. (Maybe she even regrets her own decision to shy away from the Jedi Path. She learns from her failure and passes it on to her student! Themes!)

Well, I for one actually really like this idea. The fact that Leia has a purple lightsaber now shows that she and Luke really did try to get her darkness under control (Va Paad). But perhaps it just felt too overbearing for her.

Which would also explain why she ships off Ben to Luke because she discovers that same shadow is inside of him. And after that fails, she realizes that Rey needs somebody who understands her struggles to help her, not somebody who would whip out his lightsaber when he senses how much potential evil you can cause.

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I feel adding more to the line is overkill and not needed. Don’t need to turn Luke into Basil Exposition after all!

I think the whole Leia sending Ben away to train with Luke was explained enough as is in TFA and TLJ. Leia wasn’t a Jedi, Luke was. Leia sends Ben to get force help from a Jedi.

JEDIT: Plus, it makes Leia look like an even shittier mom knowing the darkness her son is struggling with and pawning him off on someone else.

The Star Wars Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX | Rogue One · Solo
What was first just a dream has become a frightening reality…

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DZ-330 said:

JEDIT: Plus, it makes Leia look like an even shittier mom knowing the darkness her son is struggling with and pawning him off on someone else.

Yup, that would be the characteristic “every old hero has to fail in the new trilogy” the sequels are so fond of.

It also explains 2 other things:

  1. The emotions on both of their faces in the flashback
  2. As Burbin pointed out, Leia needs a reason why she wouldn’t simply tap into the Force and become a Jedi again once Luke wasn’t coming back. This is as good a reason as any.
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If you pursued that idea, the natural place to inject it would be as Luke talks with Rey fireside. That said, I can’t say I love the idea or want to pursue it here. Too much crammed in, raises many questions.

Here’s the current lines in context, and it’s hard to imagine them being improved much! I EQ’d Luke’s line “she surrendered her saber to me…” to reduce the low frequencies just slightly, and had that effect gradually wear off as he progresses through the line.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cqFyhWmFxTtW8yd93V6kJt02CFMkbnp3/view?usp=share_link

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.

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Right, so it would go. “Because you’re a Palpatine. Leia struggled with the dark, too.” But then Rey’s responses to that would need to be cut because they don’t make much sense.

EDIT: NVM, both of Rey’s responses would make perfect sense. Because somebody who struggles with the dark was still willing to become a Jedi again and train her.

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Well, if we are revisiting it yet again, does this read better?

Luke:
“She was quick to learn in our training, but Leia was wary of the shadow that had turned our father. She felt she could better serve the galaxy through diplomacy, as our mother once did. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day, it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.”

On the plus side, there is a big gap between sentences in the film. If you think of the scene without the flashback Luke and Rey are just awkwardly staring at Leia’s saber without speaking for a good 30 seconds. Maybe this fixes that LOL 😄

But overall, I love how we have it now and don’t think this is necessary dialogue to include.

The Star Wars Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX | Rogue One · Solo
What was first just a dream has become a frightening reality…

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Nah, I think we could keep our current flashback dialog the same and just put in what I mentioned earlier to add another dimensional layer to it all.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

Leia struggled with the dark, too.

Can’t say that I like this, at all. It’s NEVER been even hinted in any of the movies. Feels way too fanfic-ish. Her inner conflict between following Luke’s path or her mother ideals is more than enough to justify that conflicted face IMHO.

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Luke: “What are you most afraid of?”

Rey: “Myself.”

Luke: “Because you’re a Palpatine? Leia struggled with her bloodline too.

Rey: “She didn’t tell me.”

Luke: “Rey, final lesson, some things are stronger than blood…”


What if it isn’t the “dark” that Leia struggled with, but her bloodline and relation to Vader (which is canon I may add)? I think it makes Luke’s final lesson hit a LOT harder too.

The Star Wars Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX | Rogue One · Solo
What was first just a dream has become a frightening reality…

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Okay, that would be too much, I must admit now.

But DZ’s is REALLY good.

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I’m not sure we should lean into Leia’s darkness as a reason- her struggling with the dark is an unnecessary new wrinkle. Emulating Padmé is grand, but I think the more ambiguity the better here, other than leading into Rey taking on the saber.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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DZ-330 said:

Luke: “What are you most afraid of?”

Rey: “Myself.”

Luke: “Because you’re a Palpatine? Leia struggled with her bloodline too.

Rey: “She didn’t tell me. She still trained me.

Luke: “Because she saw your spirit, your heart. Rey, final lesson, some things are stronger than blood…”


What if it isn’t the “dark” that Leia struggled with, but her bloodline and relation to Vader (which is canon I may add)? I think it makes Luke’s final lesson hit a LOT harder too.

I would nix “She still trained me.”

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

I would nix “She still trained me.”

I’d agree, doesn’t really make sense in that context, does it? At that rate, the beginning of Luke’s next sentence needs to go too. I think it is a good concept, but we should just leave as is.

JEDIT: As much as the final lesson would be nice to include, I think the scene is more personal without it. And Luke’s 3 lessons were why the Jedi needed to end. He went back on that, no need for a lesson three or final lesson. And who knows, Luke may show up in the Rey movie as a force ghost to depart more wisdom, so it likely won’t be the final lesson in canon.

The Star Wars Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX | Rogue One · Solo
What was first just a dream has become a frightening reality…

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 (Edited)

Yup, remove that like all other versions of Ascendant.

To make it more clear, we could have him say: “Leia also struggled with family legacy.”

Here it is all laid out:

Luke: “What are you most afraid of?”

Rey: “Myself.”

Luke: “Because you’re a Palpatine? Leia also struggled with family legacy.”

Rey: “She didn’t tell me.”

Luke: “Rey, some things are stronger than blood…”

Or, to make it clearer still, it could be “Leia also struggled with infamous legacy.”

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I’m a bit fond of it being “struggled with her bloodline”. References the bloodline book which is cannon.

“You will find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view” — Obi-Wan Kenobi

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Damn, that’s pretty good.

I agree that it isn’t a particularly shocking revelation, but it is highly relevant to Rey. Leia basically lost her entire political career because of the revelation, and yet she still managed to do a lot of good by making the Resistance.