Jar Jar Bricks said:
Just finished watching through it all! Overall, magnificently done. It’s taken TFA from a 7/10 to an 8 or 9 in my books. I wanted to compile a list of feedback I had for v2:
- You can still hear the end of Han saying “Get outta there” in the Falcon
I’ll add this to the error document, thanks!
- I’m wondering if it might be worth it to just cut out “He worked on the base” from the end of Poe’s new line. We learn this information later, anyway.
Yeah, it’s not perfect. I’m sure I’ll be taking another look at this line at some point.
- Snoke calls Kylo “Solo” at the end of their second meeting. There’s nothing particularly wrong with this, I’m just wondering why you chose to add this in. Was it him trying to get on Kylo’s nerves?
There were two small reasons for the addition. I wanted to make clear that Snoke knows the nature of Kylo’s weakness and wants to rub it in his face a little. Emphasizing his parentage also primes the expectation for a scene discussing this topic, which happens soon after with Han and Leia.
- I highly recommend applying a “mirroring” effect to the reaction shots of the pilots when Starkiller Base fires. They’re reused shots, but this effect may help in disguising that.
Added to the notes! Not sure if I tried this before and decided it looked strange, but always worth trying again.
- I really enjoyed the scene in Hal’s edit where Hux suggests to Snoke that they target the Resistance base next. Also, that part that mentions how long it will be until it is recharged. It makes Poe’s attack on the oscillator much more than just an attempt at revenge. I would prefer it if this were reinstated.
This is a topic to which I’ve devoted a lot of thought.
First, let’s talk characterization. The original idea in Restructured was one that I think I pushed for leading up to the release of TLJ, back when we were gung-ho on getting a finished edit out for people to watch before the next film. There were worries that Poe was acting out of revenge, and thus this scene was devised. However, TLJ characterized Poe as an impulsive hotshot who refuses to back down from engagement even against better judgment. This makes the idea of Poe attacking Starkiller out of revenge sync perfectly with TLJ’s portrayal.
Now let’s talk stakes. There is a justifiable argument that once the weapon fires, the stakes are much lower since the damage has now been done. I would counter this with the fact that ESB never had a superweapon, and it was all about a lightsaber confrontation between two enemies, and it worked just as well as ANH. I think TFA manages to keep the tension using this technique even without a looming threat, and it also helps to switch the stakes from large to small. There is still a noticeable downgrade in stakes of course, but this is where the Sith eyes come into play. The fallout of the destruction from the previous scenes is channeled into a deep, if momentary, character transformation, and this is just as big as any superweapon threat. Snoke even senses this shift in the Force from across the galaxy, and in my edit this is where the ‘awakening’ comes from in the title.
Now let’s talk pacing. Here I feel like the added ‘recharging’ scene grinds the pacing to a halt while we reset the mousetrap, and for this reason alone I dislike the scene. I also think the ending of the film flows better if we don’t cut back at all to the Resistance after Leia’s reaction, emphasizing that our characters are on their own.
Finally, logistics. The weapon recharging introduces further mechanics to a weapon that seems like a straightforward single-star, single-use weapon. Without that scene, the function of the weapon is left up to the imagination, and I find that to be better in most cases. Establishing that the weapon shall fire again also means that the First Order knows where the Resistance base is, meaning that the Resistance simply made an error in their reconnaissance or attack. As a result, the Resistance is under a ticking clock even after the base is destroyed, and the same question of evacuation must be raised. This is an issue in the theatrical version, but it will be even worse in V2 of the edit where I show the passage of an entire day and night on the base before Rey leaves on her mission. Now you could say that this makes for a plot hole in the opening of TLJ where the First Order has discovered the base, but there are any number of explanations for it that are less problematic than the First Order knowing about the base for days and doing nothing. Removing this plot thread from TFA helps to give space between films. It also presents an opportunity for editing TLJ to suggest that the First Order finding the base is the work of a traitor or spy, helping bridge that plot issue with TLJ from the start.
Anyway, that was a bit of an essay. Suffice to say I am happy to omit this scene from my edit.
- As I said before, I’m just curious if your goal was to have her Sith eyes for only that brief moment, or throughout the remainder of it? Because they don’t appear to be there except for the closeup shot. To make less work of this, perhaps they could fade out at a certain point.
I did try and continue the eyes beyond that moment, implying that they fade out during the fight, but it is difficult to see them except in extreme closeup and to make them noticeable I think they would need to be very bright. There’s still a hint of them in a few shots, but I’m okay with keeping the eyes as a mostly momentary flash.
- I would love some (more?) porg sounds on Ahch-To 😃
Added to the notes!
