logo Sign In

The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!) — Page 35

Author
Time
 (Edited)

NeverarGreat said:

NeverarGreat said:

I’ve been thinking about moving Snoke’s ‘Awakening’ dialogue (thanks RL!) and I have an idea for it that may greatly improve more than just the logic of that theme. Not to be cryptic about the idea, but I think it will be better just to show you. Unfortunately implementation will take a bit of work so I’m just going to let this idea sit here for now like a JJ mystery box. 😃

As promised, the idea:

Password: fanedit

I may have to go back into the Restructured workfile to rework the music, since the timing could be better.

As for the ‘training’ line, I don’t miss it, especially since TLJ all but discarded that plot point.

I like this a lot!

Author
Time

That’s a pretty creative placement for that line! That definitely might be something worth fiddling around with more.

Yeah, I don’t think that ‘training’ line is particularly necessary at the end of the film. While I think his training in TLJ is more about Kylo’s resolve more than his abilities, regardless of that Snoke doesn’t really have to mention the ‘training’ bit in TFA. It doesn’t mean Snoke isn’t manipulating Kylo’s emotions in order to train him in TLJ, but again, we don’t need TFA to really set up that.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

This gave me goosebumps :>
Very Spielberg-esque.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

Agreed. This was excellent. Starkiller base was blowing up but I was thinking about what Snoke said. Lol.

In the original film, this subject/idea/concept is not addressed again directly so you kind of forget about it. But placing it here at the end of the film wets your appetite (so-to-speak) for future events. It’s on your mind as the film ends. Excellent.

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

Author
Time

Amazing Neverar. Very creative, and flawless execution. Gives us a better idea of the whole “awakening” aspect of TFA and how everything came to be. Makes things a bit less abstrac in the right amount. Great job. Keep it up! 😄

Author
Time

Thanks everyone for the support! Glad everyone likes it.

For the next version, I’ve reconstructed the entire sequence and tweaked the timing of certain shots to better match the music. Also, another line from Snoke which I think makes the whole thing flow better:

https://vimeo.com/363748153

Password: fanedit

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

The overall sound is much improved but personally I think it flows better without the extra Snoke line.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Thanks! I was pretty excited about it.

JEDIT Reuploaded video due to audio glitch:

https://vimeo.com/363482768

Password: fanedit

That’s really good. And it might be a good thing to get rid of the training line, since we never see much training happen anyway.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

idir_hh said:

The overall sound is much improved but personally I think the it flows better without the extra Snoke line.

I’m going to have to agree here: it was better without the “I’ve felt it” line.

I think it’s clear that, in Snoke saying that “there’s been an awakening,” that (obviously) he felt it. No need to include the extra dialogue to get that point across.

Also Neverar, I actually preferred the music in the previous version (66) than in this new version (67). The best part in my opinion was that, in that first overhead shot of the forest, the music sounds quite bleak as Snoke says, “There’s been an awakening” and “The Dark Side.” But then — ah ha! — a light! As the forest begins to light up, the tone of the music changes to a much more optimistic melody, just as Snoke says, “And the Light.”

In your newer update, the music is too jolly throughout the entire sequence and I feel like it diminishes the difference between the darkness and the light, which is revealed when Rey looks up and sees the Falcon.

If I had a choice, I would say go back to 66 in almost every way. It was an excellent execution, with perhaps only a few sound effects tweaks needed.

Either way, great work. I just preferred (order) 66.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

Author
Time

Totally fair, I’ll take another look at it and probably revert the lines (and some music) back to the previous version.

In my defense, I was up until 4 AM re-cutting all the sound effects from the 2017 workfiles for Restructured, so I probably wasn’t in a lucid state of mind at that point. 😉

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

I agree that you should go back to version 66 for the “Awakening” dialogue, with only a few minor audio tweaks.

Other than that, this edit looks amazing. The Force Awakens is one of my least favorite Star Wars movies, so I’d like to see an edit that puts it on par with the OT.

My preferred Skywalker Saga experience:
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX

Author
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Totally fair, I’ll take another look at it and probably revert the lines (and some music) back to the previous version.

In my defense, I was up until 4 AM re-cutting all the sound effects from the 2017 workfiles for Restructured, so I probably wasn’t in a lucid state of mind at that point. 😉

Hey, no worries! It’s ALL great work! I stop by here nearly every day to see if you have anything new to share.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

Author
Time

It seems that this edit has the potential to become the “Adywan’s Star Wars: Revisited” of TFA (except it’s not by Adywan), given the hard work and effort you’ve put into it.

The unfortunate reality of the Star Wars prequel and Disney trilogies is that they will always be around. Forever. They will never go away. It can never be undone.

I also prefer to be referred to as “TNT”, not “Freezing”.

Author
Time

I agree with ziggy’s comments about 66 over 67.

All in all I like the concept very much!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

The people have spoken! The lines and their timing have been reverted to the 66 version, with the updated sound!

Backtracking just a bit to a previous scene, there was some constructive criticism that removing the cliffhanger shots caused too sharp a transition. I’ve gone in and shifted the entire musical cue in this area to help mask the transition, which has the added benefit of giving Rey’s Force powerup a more sinister edge:

https://vimeo.com/366181347

Password: fanedit

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I like it! It definitely is more savage compared to the more serene theatrical version. Although I do like the theatrical version, you have to admit that Rey looks visibly angry rather than just focused, so having her tap into the dark side almost feels like that is actually what they were going for.

It definitely has some benefits. One, having Rey take the ‘quick and easy path’ helps rationalize her ability to defeat Kylo. Secondly, showing her ride that line raises the stakes in the next film for her need for guidance. Without it, she might continue down this path.

As far as technical notes, I think adding a nice lightsaber clash on that ‘flash cut’ might help make that transition feel more seamless.

Also, I wonder how swapping the placements of Finn yelling Rey and Chewbacca’s roar would sound. For some reason it feels kinda funny to have Rey open her eyes on Chewie’s guttural yell. And with Finn bleeding out in the snow nearby it might work better to end with Finn calling out for Rey instead. She hears “Rey!”, and her eyes open. Might not work as well but just a possible thing to try out.

Also wanted to say having that brief beat of silence, Kylo’s little “oh shit” moment, is a really nice choice.

Author
Time

I like the more “dark” side feel of it since I think that was kind of implied in the movie but instead made it feel like her focusing.

I thought the transitions is good as is actually, but as always, curious to see alternative ways to see if it is an improvement.

Lastly, I too would like to hear Finn’s call out to be the last thing you hear. It would work as both a reminder of the pain Kylo has called and almost a plead for help/save me kind of thing.

All in all, I like this direction a whole lot!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

This sequence is really good. Definitely raises the stakes. The first time I watched The Force Awakens I remember thinking to myself, “Oh no, she’s turning to the Dark, she doesn’t even know it but she’s turning.”

This version you’ve put together shows this really well. Also, I like it because I felt like, in the theatrical version, it took just a little too long showing her thinking about the Force.

Much more effective presentation.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

Author
Time

I love the idea behind this. Rey tapping into the dark side. I honestly wonder if this was something they played with in the editing of the theatrical. Because they had the footage right in front of them to do this. Very interesting…

I’ll go ahead and throw some of my technical thoughts out there:

  • The audio of the clashing of lightsabers (followed by “You need a teacher” line) could use a bigger punch (imo)
  • The “I can show you the ways of the force” line sounds a bit funny…does this have to do with trying to remove the original music underneath?
  • Any way to bump up the audio of Reys “The force?” line? It’s a bit quiet. It’s certainly not terrible the way it is.
  • I had to listen multiple times to realize Kylos voice was mixed in “…the father you never had…he would’ve disappointed you”
  • Personally, I don’t care for Finn’s “Reeeyyyy!!!” but I’ll admit that has more to do with his delivery
  • I actually thought I heard a Tusken Raider scream…it wasn’t until read RogueLeaders comment that I realized it was Chewy roaring.

These observations got me to thinking: what was the logic behind these particular audio clips you chose? I’m not saying they were wrong…because I’ll admit sometimes this sort of stuff can go over my head…but depending on your goal, there could potentially be better- or more suitable clips. Or I could be entirely wrong! 😛

By-the-way, this is great stuff! Hopefully my comments will only help make it better…or maybe just solidify your original choices! 😄

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Here’s the updated version with the swapped Chewie/Finn yells, let me know if it works better:

https://vimeo.com/366381508

Password: fanedit

SSWR, it’s funny that you mention all those things since I was busy fixing most of them before checking back to see your post! So there’s now a lightsaber sound at the transition (thanks RL 😃), ‘The Force’ is now louder, and you’re right that the ‘show you the ways…’ is still weird because of the music removal. I actually have clean voice audio for that (and most lines in the movie) from the LEGO TFA game, which has been an invaluable resource. It’s just a matter of using that source and re-foleying all the rest of the effects back in around it which I’m too lazy to do just yet.

As for the logic behind these choices, they’re really just based on nothing more than my gut in all honesty. If I had to explain the choices, Han’s dialogue serves first as a segue from Kylo’s ‘Force’ line into another ‘Force’ line, then Kylo’s lines about disappointment as a direct reaction to this and turning Rey’s thoughts to anger. This unleashes a wave of recent and not-so-recent trauma which makes her go Dark Luke on Kylo.

Funny thought process, I had just finished working on this scene last night when I had the idea that this could be more of an actual conversation rather than a semi-random string of memories. Kylo would say out loud ‘You need a teacher!’ then either edit his mouth closed or use a different shot while having a telepathic version of ‘I can teach you the ways of the Force’, an ability that Rey has yet to use. She replies out loud ‘The Force!’ and recalls Han’s lines, but then Kylo butts into her mind with ‘He would have disappointed you’, which leads to her losing her cool. For this to really work I would have to delete the disappointment line from the interrogation, and that would also be a good time to introduce the ability for Kylo to actually broadcast his thoughts into Rey’s head with ‘You feel like he’s the father you never had.’
‘Get out of my head!’

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

Damn this makes a big difference. Well done!

Whats’ funny is, watching this second version, I didn’t really question the “voices” in Reys head this time. There is a line of logic to it-…actually, OK, you know what? I now see where you’re coming from.

The whole point of this is she is giving into anger over Hans murder.

It took me a while but I finally got there, folks! Sorry to those who had no problems seeing the connection!

The only thing you might want to look at is adding a bit of an EQ boost to Han and Kylos lines…just brighten them up a bit to have them stand out a bit more.

Again, well done!

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

Author
Time

Yeah, I think the voices work great. It is just Rey’s thoughts/emotions in a stream of consciousness, going from what Han told her about the Force (paralleling Luke hearing Ben’s voice in ANH’s climax?), and those memories drift to her insecurities, Han’s death, Chewbacca’s pain, and Finn’s defeat while protecting Rey, and that all drives Rey to anger.

The new tweaks work really well Nev!