Misbegotten Movie Concepts — Page 3

Casablanca 2: SAVING ILSA

Very shortly after the ending of Casablanca, the plane to Lisbon crashes, killing Victor; however, Ilsa survives but is lost in enemy territory. Rick and a rag-tag group of friends, including Sam, Renault, Ferrari, and an actually-alive Ugarte, take some weapons and go rescue her. Rick gets the girl at the end.

This movie would be made using 3D CGI models based off of photographs of all the actors.

Citizen Kane 2: SON OF KANE

Charles Foster Kane's only son didn't die in a car crash. He was kidnapped by political rivals of Kane. Raised in Germany and brainwashed to be a Nazi, Kane's son becomes a Nazi ruler during WWII. He sees a report on his father's death and suddenly all memories return to him. Kane's son, in repentance for all his evil acts, single-handedly takes down the Axis powers by killing Hitler and making it look like a suicide. At the film's climax, Kane's son has a vision of Charles Foster Kane, now played by Danny Devito, with a digital CGI model Orson Welles head.

Phantom of the Opera 2: THE PHANTOM REDEMPTION

Based as a sequel to the relatively obscure movie version starring Robert Englund, the Phantom has a change of heart. The film continues on the premise that the Phantom inexplicably ended up in modern times, as shown in the end of the previous film. After failing to kill Christine with a falling grand piano in the opening sequence, he decides to turn "good." He meets a girl he accidentally blinded with the shards of the grand piano. He protects her from a gang and becomes a modern-day vigilante. The movie ends as the Phantom manages to induce a heart attack on the villain by the horrifying nature of his face.

1997: The Movie--based on George Orwell's Lucas's novel, which in turn was inspired by several threads in the originaltrilogy.com General Star Wars Discussion, most of which were started by a certain General Frievous.  After converting the nation to Star Wars mania, George Lucas takes control of everything.  Beginning in 1997, he makes changes to his films in order to lull the populace and push his propaganda that it was always his original vision.  George is so powerful that he tells the government what to do, reigns over Hollywood, and wrestles control of the Internet from Al Gore.  He knows everything you are doing.  Remember:

(Forgive me for using this image again; I just couldn't help but expand upon the idea.)

GUMS : being the story of the one woman in the world who doesn't have teeth... down there.

Sultana--An 1865 story starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett as lovers who meet on an ill-fated cruise, and culminating in the death of DiCaprio's character when the vessel is destroyed.  Directed by James Cameron

Lusitania--A 1915 story starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett as lovers who meet on an ill-fated cruise, and culminating in the death of DiCaprio's character when the vessel sinks.  Directed by James Cameron

Estonia--A 1994 story starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett as lovers who meet on an ill-fated cruise, and culminating in the death of DiCaprio's character when the vessel sinks.  Directed by James Cameron

Costa Concordia--A 2012 story starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett as lovers who meet on an ill-fated cruise, and culminating in the death of DiCaprio's character when the vessel sinks.  Directed by James Cameron

Celestial Skimmer--A 2499 story starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett as lovers who meet on an ill-fated star cruise, and culminating in the death of DiCaprio's character when the vessel blows up.  The military gets involved, but is manipulated by corporate greed, and a group of blindly-obedient soldiers bossed around by a nerdy CEO deliberately bring down the vessel in order to gain an unobtainable mineral and a powerful alien they hope to use as a weapon, whilst showing no concern for innocent lives lost during the process.  Directed by James Cameron

Laika's Revenge : The space dog returns mutated and super powered to bury the bones of every last human being that exiled her to a her orbit of doom.

Tagline THE BITCH IS BACK!

NOT THIS

Ants in Pants - In the fine tradition of movies based on board games, this truly thrilling, action-packed fest about aliens attacking humankind and torturing them by thowing ants in their pants is a fine addition to the sci-fi/horror genre.

Blue Dawn - A North Korean film countering the evil propaganda machine of the capitalist United States, providing a glimpse into life after a completely unprovoked invasion and the subsequent actions of freedom fighters trying to preserve the North Korean way of life.

Eat More Chicken - The expose' of fast food mogul S. Truett Cathy and his rise to power and his insidious methods to undercut the beefy burger market.

Snow White 2 - Another Disney "cheapquel" about a close relative to the villain of the original film seeking revenge against the main character and blah blah blah...

Boring Stories to Read While Eating Your Oatmeal - read by Bert

Proboscis - A large mosquito terrorizes a tourist swamp town called Superfriendlyville.  Together, the town sheriff, a visiting entomologist, and a professional bug catcher named Squint, set out to destroy the public menace that has already left a nude sunbather covered in welts and bitten a young boy and a friendly older gentleman who sacrificed his skin trying to assist the sheriff's son.  This film is followed by several sequels of increasingly inferior quality, and will culminate in the holographic Proboscis 19 (directed by Max Spielberg) slated to be released in 2015.  "This time, it's REALLY itchy!"

A Bugger's Life - A Pixar film targeting British audiences about a loser who can't fit in.

[fill in the blank] - A film by Jerry Bruckheimer.

Marty McCarp said:

"Mosquito still looks fake."

Reboots made by people who have little to no love/understanding of the franchises they're rebooting.

Who would star in this new movie? A dog named Eben-schnauzer?

Wow, that’s pretty bad!