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oojason

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Join date
5-May-2004
Last activity
2-Oct-2025
Posts
8,910

Post History

Post
#128109
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/128109/action/topic#128109
Time
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew
his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said,
"I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said, "I don't
care what she looks like." Then I said, "You don't undertand. I've had Sex
since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told
the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for
Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't
understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog
ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking
around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I
should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said. "I had hoped to
have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me
too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A
cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in
the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up Friday...

Post
#127447
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/127447/action/topic#127447
Time
The Italian Tomato Garden...


An old Italian man lived alone in the country.

He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.



Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able

to plant my tomato garden this year.

I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.

If you were here my troubles would be over.

I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love,

Dad



A few days later he received a letter from his son.



Dear Dad,

Don't dig up that garden.

That's where I buried the BODIES.

Love ,

Vinnie



At 4 a.m. the next morning,

Special Agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.

They apologized to the old man and left.



That same day the old man received another letter from his son.



Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.

That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love,

Vinnie
Post
#127349
Topic
Could live action SW TV show look like BSG??
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/127349/action/topic#127349
Time
starkiller - I think the external space flight shots could well ending up resembling those from BSG - though from Lucas' recent work I don't think he could acheive the lofty levels reached by Moore and Co on the new BSG so far (relevent story to world around us, consistant plot, a character driven show, inspired casting, solid acting, SFX when needed, few story inconsistancies, a continuing arc, seperate events being woven together, etc etc)
Post
#127123
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/127123/action/topic#127123
Time
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to
testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the $10 million you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the $10 million is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, pulls back the trigger, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Post
#126831
Topic
<strong>The Cowclops Transfers (a.k.a. the PCM audio DVD's, Row47 set) Info and Feedback Thread</strong> (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/126831/action/topic#126831
Time
No, No - thank you Rik - most of the info was already there in your cool initial thread - I just got the rest dotted around later on and from the great lads who posted info a couple of pages back m8.


Can you feel the love in this thread? lol


How long do you reckon before someone asks below if the new Cowclops version is anamorphic?
Post
#126886
Topic
&quot;thread of shame&quot;
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/126886/action/topic#126886
Time
Positives for DigitalFreakNYC too (once upon a time was the only guy who'd send SW stuff to outside of the USA) - along with some young flash-in-the-pan upstart named 'Rikter'

Also 'praise be's' to MagnoliaFan, ADigitalMan, Darth Editous, OCP, Moth3r, Dr Gonzo, Cowclops, Metallaxis, HotRod, Davidian, & Jambe Davdar.


Sorry for changing the thread dark_jedi - I don't have any minuses for you yet - suppose 'cos we're all great people here
Post
#126291
Topic
terror in london
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/126291/action/topic#126291
Time
I agree with many things you have to say Warbler - but from the terrorists point of view ramming planes into buildings has been 'the' answer - it has got the West involved in a situation where they have lost many middle-eastern friends and allies, invaded a country with no links to terrorism - yet call it part of the war on terror (well, it is now), made martyrs out of those who have died already in the fight vs the West and has acted as a magnet for the some of the young, impressionable and disillusioned Muslim youth into extremism and then terrorism.

It is difficult to believe that Bush was not advised by his military that invading countries would have had this effect, let alone what do we actually do now that we are 'in control' of these countries - the new members of the government that we have set up for them are being assasinated nearly every week - along with Iraqis serving in the police - the fear of the people of Iraq and Afghanistan must be as high as ever...

Shimraa is correct in saying it is battleground where the West and the insurgents and terrorists can engage - but sadly it's not us doing the engaging. The situation there seems lost - and if it then the 'war on terror' - ineffective as it has been so far - will seen to be also lost. What do the West do now? Hopefully looking at the reasons as to why we are hated and reviled in the middle east, begin to understand the actions of the past and present and form a dialogue with these extremists will be a start - though I don't see this very likely...
Post
#125608
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/125608/action/topic#125608
Time

30 things your girfriend will never say (but you wish she would)


1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper, too! I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

4. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

5. Bar food again!? Kick ass.

6. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

7. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

8. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

9. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?

10. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

11. Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

12. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

13. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

14. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, you big silly guy!

15. You are so much smarter than my father.

16. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

17. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

18. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

19. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

20. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

21. Let's subscribe to Hustler, my treat.

22. I'll be out painting the house.

23. I love it when you ride your muscle car; I just wish you had more time to ride.

24. Honey, our new neighbor's 18-year-old daughter is sunbathing in the nude again, come see!

25. No, no, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

26. Your mother is way better than mine.

27. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

28. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you take time off to relax?

29. You need your sleep, you big silly guy, now stop getting up for the baby's night feedings.

30. Look! My ass is fatter than yours!