About the ‘interrogation 7’ mockup, some of the cuts feel a little rushed but that may be fixable with a bit more work, perhaps on the audio side. This sequence does add an effective psychological element to Kylo’s distress at Rey escaping.
I do prefer some of your dialog trims, like removing ‘Supreme Leader senses it’ from the ‘forgive me…’ scene, and removing some of the stormtroopers dialogue when Rey escapes.
At the end of ESB, when Luke is on the Falcon and is communicating with Vader through the force I think they use a 3 frame dissolve to switch between Luke and Vader. Perhaps you could use that instead of fading out the different lighting where Rey wakes up in the first half of the interrogation? I like the idea that Rey is seeing herself through Kylo’s eyes through a kind of force dream, but not sure if that’s what you’re going for here.