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Imhotep

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22-Feb-2016
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Post
#1196780
Topic
A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit
Time

Ah you’re right about R2 RogueLeader, I hadn’t considered that. Yeah, as far as R2 knows Obi-Wan killed Anakin. It would be simpler if Bail mind wiped both droids, maybe the line in ep3 could be cut to “have the | droid’s mind wiped”. That scene always seemed off to me, and I think it’s because of the all the problems you mention. It’s a bit sad for R2 but makes sense, and there’s no reason why R2 couldn’t recover some of the data, or store it in an internal backup or something. Adding this also makes the later Rebels treatment of droids more interesting, presumably Leia or Luke never memory wiped R2 or 3PO, and Poe will never memory wipe BB8, so this shows a stronger difference between the heroes of the PT (specifically Padme, Bail, and Mon Mothma) to the OT and ST. Here’s a demo of the cut: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1BI31_EiMWySxUqzQ3BscwFxwLo8NmuWv would probably need to change the beeps so that it doesn’t sound like R2 is laughing.

On Sifo-Dyas in Obi-Wan’s detective subplot, my view is that Dooku and the Separatists are a red herring for this subplot, as Jango and Sifo-Dyas are the leads that the Jedi needed to track down (but Windu kills Jango so there’s that). In some ways I think removing the line where the President of Kamino says that the army was (specifically intended by Sifo-Dyas) for the Republic improves things here, as it makes Sifo-Dyas’ intentions unknown, and so makes his prior death simply a lead that wasn’t followed up on. About the scene itself, although it’s IMO one of the worst uses of CGI in the PT, I find that Obi-Wan’s dialogue is mostly fine, as he’s in a sort of undercover detective mode here, which could explain why he didn’t ask more prying questions about Sifo-Dyas. The dialogue scene between Jango and Obi-Wan could also be trimmed, depending on our views on Darth Tyranus.

With Chewbacca in ep3, it could be an idea to wait until the Solo film is out, as it will be interesting to see if they add any details about Chewbacca’s backstory there. One of the main things indicating that it’s Chewbacca is the bandoleer, so maybe it would be enough to remove that? Though I’m all for making him a silver Wookiee if it can be done well. For me the problem isn’t that Chewbacca is in ep3, what bothers me is that it seems like he’s best friends with Yoda, which is a ridiculous coincidence.

Also, on PT lightsaber colours, it’s not really an obvious contradiction (it could maybe be considered a thematic contradiction) but I’m opposed to Anakin using a green lightsaber in ep2 (even if it’s not his personal saber). My view is that, between Anakin and Luke, only Luke should use a green saber, because to me it represents the fulfillment of Luke’s character as a new hope and as the return of the Jedi in the OT. So I’d have it as Anakin transitioning from blue to red, and Luke transitioning from blue to green (will be interesting to see what colour Rey’s saber is in ep9). What are people’s thoughts on changing Anakin’s temporary lightsaber in this way? I’m obviously for it, but it might not be worth the work required.

About the Ewok’s in the ep6 final battle, the overly cute or silly battle scenes can be cut easily enough, it’s just a question of which shots we want to remove. Also, as Adywan is likely cooking up some interesting shots for the final battle, it may be best to wait and see what he comes up with before cutting into this part of ep6.

Here are links to some relevant cuts. I’d made these for myself anyway, so thought I’d organise them and post the relevant bits here. Some of the cuts need work (particularly on the audio side), but they should give an idea of what they’re about. Not all of the cuts may end up being relevant for this project, but it’ll be interesting to hear what you all think of them regardless. Here’s a link to the folder with all the demo scenes: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1gHgVquApxRDBhGCbtOA3qKPriJHvc7ME

OT, incest subplot:

OT, Obi-Wan deception plot:

  • ep4, “I never seem to remember owning a droid” has been cut, I couldn’t figure out a seamless way to trim the “I haven’t gone by the name of Obi-Wan since oh, before you were born” line so have left it as is: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1wdB5l8eKfChkhVyWESpDI2ymUUCYTJgB
  • ep4, “He [Owen] feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade, like your father did", cut “like your father did”: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1zPBkXtLBnnJNk5VYTGbwiqXtgx3c07t6
  • ep4, “Now, let’s see if we can figure out what you are, my little friend, and where you come from”, the words “what you are / and” have been cut: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1IT09tdxP_8fzsPoeIw1_iy0g9dVUSi1S
  • ep6, Dagobah sequence, I’ve uploaded the almost all of the sequence on Dagobah, as some of Yoda’s lines were also cut: https://drive.google.com/open?id=15uDS2HzWB47VaESu83RlvU6v5yuGcmwl Yoda doesn’t mention another Skywalker, so Obi-Wan tells Luke about Leia without being prompted. Here, the following lines have been cut, “Obi-Wan: ‘Then the Emperor has already won, you were are only hope.’ Luke: Yoda spoke of another?’ Obi-Wan: ‘The other he spoke of is your twin sister.’ Luke: ‘But I have no sister.’” Obi-Wan’s infamous “point of view” bit has been trimmed, and now reads as “…he ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader, when that happened the good man who was your father was destroyed. (Here the lines “Obi-Wan: ‘So what I told you was true, from a certain point of view.’ Luke: ‘A certain point of view?’” have been cut) You’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. So what I told you was true (this line has been moved here from the cut section). When I first knew him…” Here I have attempted to portray Obi-Wan as saying all truths exist from a particular point of view, not what I said was true from a particular point of view. Hopefully Obi-Wan seems more dejected about how things turned out with Vader, and isn’t trying to avoid responsibility for having deceived Luke.

Ep6 scenes:

ST, clone stormtrooper retcon:

Ep8 scene:

Post
#1195757
Topic
A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit
Time

Nice work with the edit, RogueLeader.

Anakin Starkiller said:

Imhotep said:

As Jar Jar has been brought up a bit, one way to add some nuance to the Gungans (without removing Jar Jar as I agree that this can’t be done, it would break the plot of both ep1 and ep2) could be to dub them with a fake alien language with subtitles when two Gunguns are talking to each other, like in the swamp scene or the final battle of ep1. This would imply that their poor use of English/Basic is because it’s a second language for them.

I’ve had that on my change list for a while.

Ah excellent, do you have any thoughts on how to execute this idea to dub and subtitle the Gungans? My view on this is that the easiest way would be to use audio from something else in the Star Wars universe. I’d go for the Knights of the Old Republic games, as they have several different alien languages. The Rakata language might be appropriate as they don’t appear in the films, and given their appearance the Gungans could possibly have evolved from Rakatans, or be a subspecies. Lip sync could be a problem, but it’d be worth a try. Would have to change the pitch for Jar Jar though, as his voice is far too high. The Rakata language can be heard in this video: https://youtu.be/kGp5NJK-FyI?list=PLMpTBRgc57RSNbXpIs9PIQDi2Wmjl46l9&t=848

My take on Dooku is that the public don’t really know the difference between the Jedi and the Sith. I guess some would, but the Sith are not obviously evil to most people in the star wars universe. That said, I don’t have a problem with changing Dooku’s lightsaber colour if people are keen to work on that addition.

The deception plot with Obi-Wan is fine with me, I think if we trim the odd bit or inconsistency, like not knowing R2 and the “point of view” bit then it should be okay. Manipulating Luke to kill his father is a bit extreme, but the stakes are high, and I think Yoda and Obi-Wan would’ve told Luke eventually, if he hadn’t run off in ep5 before his training was complete. Also, R2 is deceiving Luke as well, in ep4 to get him to save Leia (by leading him to his old pal Obi-Wan), and in ep5 by not telling Luke about Vader. There’s also a moment in ep5 (when Luke goes into the cave on Dagobah) where R2 and Yoda could’ve had a long chat without Luke around, I like to think they did anyway. This fits with 3PO (and not R2) being given a memory wipe at the end of ep3, but I’m not sure if that’s what Lucas intended. Basically the PT makes things super convoluted, but I think we can make it make sense with a few additional cuts.

“Come here, my little friend.” / If the change can be made as you suggest then it would be an improvement, but the theatrical line is fine as is.

“I haven’t gone by the name Obi-Wan since, oh, before you were born.” / Changing this to “I haven’t gone by the name Obi-Wan since you were born” sounds like a good idea to me.

I’d cut “I never seem to remember owning a droid.” Should be simple enough to do.

“He [Owen] feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade, like your father did.” / Would be a good idea to cut “like your father did”, as this isn’t really what happened. Maybe if we’d had a few extra scenes between Owen and Anakin in ep2 it might have made sense, but as things are I find it to be a confusing inconsistency.

“Now, let’s see if we can figure out what you are, my little friend, and where you come from” / One option could be to remove the words “what you are” if possible, as this is the problematic part of the line (the cut should work for the image, but the audio may be a problem).

One option to make the final dialogue between Luke and Obi-Wan in ep6 more meaningful is to cut Yoda telling Luke he has a sister, and leave that for Obi-Wan. So then it’s more like he’s coming clean about the last part of the deception, rather than being prompted by Luke.

I’ve made a few cuts of these and some other ideas, I should have time to organise and upload them over the weekend.

Post
#1194889
Topic
A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit
Time

Not sure how much help I’ll be in keeping my suggestions limited hahah D: so it’s good that others are on point to do that. RogueLeader, your reference of the Phantom Editor makes an excellent point. It’s super important to keep in mind what’s possible in editing, and to work within the films that we have for a project like this. I do think that certain ideas, like changing PT lightsaber colours, fall under the TFA Restructured principle of “improving the function of something within the story”. Improving narrative function goes a bit beyond resolving inconsistencies, but if it’s a simple and effective change then I’m fine with that.

Here’s my view on the proposed changes (for the suggestions that I’ve left out I’m either not sure how to fix them or don’t see them as being a problem):

As Jar Jar has been brought up a bit, one way to add some nuance to the Gungans (without removing Jar Jar as I agree that this can’t be done, it would break the plot of both ep1 and ep2) could be to dub them with a fake alien language with subtitles when two Gunguns are talking to each other, like in the swamp scene or the final battle of ep1. This would imply that their poor use of English/Basic is because it’s a second language for them.

Why is Mace Windu the only Jedi with a purple lightsaber? / Apparently it’s because Samuel L. Jackson really likes purple, and Lucas caved with no aesthetic or lore reason at all. So I’d prefer to change the colour and make it something more meaningful. As well as Windu, there are definitely some possibilities with all the background Jedi in the ep2 final battle, also with some of the other Jedi with Windu when they confront Palpatine, and possibly Ki-Adi-Mundi as his Order 66 death scene could be an option. I also dislike having only blue and green lightsabers in the PT as it seems like weak worldbuilding, so I’d prefer adding extra colours. Really enjoyed how this was done in the Knights of the Old Republic video games, with colours indicating different classes of Jedi. So I’d be interested in adding either some yellow sabers if we just want to keep it simple with green, blue, and yellow. Or we could go full rainbow and add some purple, yellow, and orange sabers, as this could be great as well.

Why was it never explained why Jedi Master “Sifo-Dyas” ordered the clone army? / Although this subplot is really convoluted, the President of Kamino does tell Obi-Wan that the army is for the Republic, so we could assume that Sifo-Dyas was basically a rogue Jedi who ordered a clone army on the side. I don’t think this is exactly a continuity error, but we could think about how to make the plot a bit more clear here.

Why does Count Dooku just tell Obi-Wan the Sith’s strategy for undermining the Senate? / This is likely too radical for this project, but we could cut Dooku being Sidious’ apprentice. However, for this to work we’d likely need to cut Sidious being in control of the Separatists in both ep2 and ep3.

Why does Yoda run away from his fight with Palpatine? / My preference is to cut the fight, as in Hal’s ep3 edit. However, that’s likely not appropriate for this project, so perhaps we should leave it as it is.

Why does the Death Star take so long to build?/ One option could be to use the shot in Hal’s V3 ep3 edit, where Coruscant replaces the Death Star.

What’s up with Anakin’s yellow Sith eyes? Why does Anakin momentarily get them but we don’t see Dooku, Luke when he almost killed Vader, or Kylo Ren ever have them? / Would be great to remove Anakin’s Sith eyes if possible.

Why does 3PO mention the princess on board Tantive IV, then doesn’t know about the princess when he is with Luke? / Adywan’s solution could be the way to go on this. Though, following the PT, wouldn’t it be fair for the audience to assume that 3PO is now Leia’s butler (and this seems to be the case in ep5)?

On the problem of having two Death Stars, although it does bother me it’s probably best to leave it alone, as I’m not sure how this could be easily fixed.

Why doesn’t Obi-Wan remember R2 or 3PO? / As he’s trying to deceive Luke about Vader. Could cut Obi-Wan’s line “I don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid” to alleviate this.

“Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough…”/ Either cut the line or change it to “I wanted you to have this…” if possible.

Are stormtroopers clones? / I’d prefer to keep them as clones throughout the saga, and assume that they use different templates (for Jango, Finn, Phasma, etc). As droids are important throughout the saga, and the droids vs. clones theme of the PT helps to set this up. This would require two cuts in ep7: scene on the star destroyer bridge, cut part of Kylo’s line “perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army” to Hux; scene in Maz’s bar, cut part of Finn’s line “taken from a family I’ll never know, and” to Rey, so his line reads as “like all of them I was | raised to do one thing”. This could also be supported by adding part of the ep8 extended megadestroyer infiltration deleted scene, as some lines could imply that Finn is a clone. It’s not an obvious continuity error, just removing a retcon I’d prefer wasn’t in the films.

What was Luke’s plan to save Han? / No idea what Luke had in mind, but making a sensible plan would likely require substantially restructuring the first act of ep6, which may be beyond the scope of this project.

How can Leia remember her mother, when Padme died in childbirth? / Cut Padme’s death in ep3, probably as in Hal’s ep3 edit.

Leia is Luke’s sister? Incest vibes? / Basically this would mean making some simple cuts throughout the OT, which should be easy enough. Not sure if this qualifies as a continuity error, though maybe if they’d known from the beginning that Luke and Leia would be siblings then it would’ve been left out.

  • ep4: when R2 shows Luke the hologram of Leia, remove Luke’s line “she’s beautiful”; in the Falcon cockpit, after the heroes have escaped the Death Star, cut the rest of the conversation after Han’s line “I’m trying not to kid”, to remove Han making fun of Luke for being attracted to Leia.
  • ep5: cut Luke and Leia’s kiss on Hoth (the cut can be covered with a reaction shot of Luke from earlier in the scene).
  • ep6: scene where Luke leaves to confront Vader, cut from Han’s line “Hey, what’s going on?” to Leia’s line “Hold me”, to remove Leia being a bit hysterical and Han being suspicious; kiss between Han and Leia after the Death Star is destroyed, cut from Han’s line “You love him, don’t you?” to Leia’s line “It’s not like that at all, he’s my brother”. Not totally necessary to remove this part of the conversation, but it’s a weird exchange.

Not all of these cuts may be necessary, but they’re all the scenes that could be considered related to the incest subplot.

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do…” / Adding “your mother” to the “Obi-Wan once thought as you do” line would be a great solution, if an appropriate source could be found.

How can two trees destroy an armored battle vehicle like an AT-ST? / Cut this shot, I’d also cut the Ewoks trying to trip up an AT-ST with a rope and shoot it with a catapult, as it makes them look ridiculous.

How did Anakin know how to become a force ghost? / My preference here is to cut the shot of the force ghosts. I don’t think Anakin should have this power as part of his redemption is accepting his own death, but this change is likely beyond the scope of this project.

Why isn’t hyper speed ramming more of a thing? / One solution could be to cut the majority of the silent part of this scene, so we only see the destruction of the megadestroyer and not the annihilation of most of the First Order fleet. Then the hyperspace kamikaze move would be more like a standard fire ship tactic, but this is likely too radical.

Post
#1193682
Topic
A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit
Time

Sounds like good guidelines so far, Asimov’s laws of robotics are a helpful way to think of this!

Separate threads for each trilogy could help spread things out, threads for each films might be too much though. Or threads by project category (reports, discussion, etc) could work. Depends what you’d prefer to set up, RogueLeader.

I have a few suggestions that I’ll throw into the ring here:

  • Give Mace Windu a blue lightsaber (I think this has already been done for ep2 by Jackpumpkinhead).
  • Relation between Obi-Wan and R2 (PT and ep4): cut “I don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid” in ep4. Apart from this line it doesn’t bother me too much, Obi-Wan is deceiving Luke in general and it’d be too difficult to remove all scenes with R2 and Obi-Wan in the PT.
  • Two Death Stars in the OT: This seems to me like the major contradiction within the OT. If Lucas knew he was going to continue past ep4 then the Death Star wouldn’t have been destroyed in that film, but editing the final battle to avoid this would be a major (and likely problematic) change.
  • The incest subplot (Han and Luke being jealous of each other throughout the OT, and the kiss between Leia and Luke on Hoth): shouldn’t be too difficult to cut, and makes Leia’s comments in ep6 less weird. Also removes some of Han’s more annoying bits in ep6.
  • Vader’s reference to Obi-Wan in ep6: where he says to Luke “Obi-Wan once thought as you do”, as in ep3 Padme tries to turn Anakin back from the dark side. Could simply cut the line?
  • Clone Army retcon in ep7: as lines by both Hux and Finn state that the stormtroopers are no longer clones. I know this is also in parts of the EU, but if the troopers aren’t clones anymore then the whole Kamino investigation subplot of ep2 is a bit of a waste of time.

Dom, you make a good point about the feasibility of the project 😕 though even if it does end up being a collective resource that would still be useful. If this becomes the revised aim of the project, then perhaps it would be better to work towards slightly more intensive changes (like making Windu’s lightsaber blue or replotting the vague reference to Sifo-Dyas), as simple dialogue cuts are easy enough to make for individual projects.

Post
#1191995
Topic
A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit
Time

Sounds like an excellent idea, I’d be happy help with basic editing work.

Though I wonder how much work would actually be necessary, if this kind of project would provide much more than has already been done in other edits like Hal’s PT and TFA Restructured? It would be interesting to write up some possible changes, including new ideas and things that would be copied from existing edits and see how those two things compare.

As you say, things can’t really be finalised until ep9 is out, but that’s no reason not to get started if enough people are on board 😄

Also, Hal’s point about having RogueLeader guide the project is a good one. Collaboration is great and all, but a project this large could benefit from some solid direction.

Post
#1183859
Topic
Imhotep's Skywalker Saga (EP1-8 + CW03 & R1) (V2 Released)
Time

Yo, sorry for the delay. Yeah, I’ll have another look at the titles and see if I can come up with something else for either ep1 or ep8. Will have a look at giving Rogue One an episode number as well, as I do agree on this. To me Rogue One feels like the end to the PT we never got with Lucas.

Ah not sure when I’ll get another chance to work on the edits as things are quite busy with work at the moment. Though I’d say they’re in a serviceable state as they are (except for ep4), so now is as good a time as any! PM me and we can sort it.

Post
#1171186
Topic
Imhotep's Skywalker Saga (EP1-8 + CW03 & R1) (V2 Released)
Time

Collipso said:

It’s the same guy. Matthew Woods is his name, I believe. He voiced both the droids and Grievous in TCW and Grievous in Episode III. Not sure if he voiced the droids in III, but he might’ve.

Ah yeah, I did use some of TCW Grievous dialogue in ep3, but I’m not sure if I’ll keep it as it sounds a bit too different from the ep3 dialogue. Though I guess that’s more due to how they altered the voice, rather than the voice actor.

Post
#1171184
Topic
Imhotep's Skywalker Saga (EP1-8 + CW03 & R1) (V2 Released)
Time

Thanks for the extensive reply! Hopefully I can bring the three trilogies together and make them more cohesive, but I’m a little worried about it as well 😄

Yeah, you’ve got it, those are the main changes.

As for the names, I can give some reasons as to why I chose them. I’ve tried to vary the titles a bit (mostly by avoiding the “X of the Y” formula). I guess the ep6 and ep8 theatrical titles are just a reference to Luke, so I don’t find them very interesting either, but I’ll try and justify my ep1 and ep8 titles being so similar:

  • Veil of Darkness continues in the vein of The Phantom Menace and Hal’s Cloak of Deception, implying that there is some dark unknown force yet to be revealed. It also refers to Anakin’s character, as his fate is unknown at this point.
  • A Separatist Threat was used because ep2 is about misdirection and setting up the tragedy of ep3. So the opening of ep2 is meant to imply that the Separatists are the most pressing danger to the Republic, but the Republic will become the Empire due to internal causes, such as the passivity of the Jedi and the ambition of Palpatine.
  • Twilight of the Republic refers to the light/darkness metaphor established in the ep1 subtitle. Also, in ep6 Yoda delivers the line “Twilight is upon me, and so night must fall”, so it’s also a reference to this.
  • Dominion of the Sith describes the political situation at the beginning of the film, however it’s also a slight misdirection, as by the end of the film the Rebellion has emerged to challenge (and ultimately overthrow) this dominion.
  • A Hidden Fortress is a reference to the Kurosawa film, and to the various hidden fortresses in ep4: the Death Star, Tatooine for Obi-Wan and Luke, and Yavin IV. Also, one of the Imperial Moffs almost finishes delivering the line “…or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel’s hidden fortress” before he is force choked by Vader.
  • The Force Unknown is an inversion of The Force Awakens. It also refers to Vader for Luke, the Rebel cell on Hoth for the Empire, and both the Force and the Chosen One for Yoda and Obi-Wan (as they will, in ep6, continue to counsel Luke to kill rather than redeem Vader).
  • A New Dawn refers to the light/darkness metaphor, specifically to Twilight of the Republic, as the new Republic of ep7 is able to be established due to the events of ep6.
  • Fate of the Rebellion is to contrast with the optimism of A New Dawn in that ep7 undoes much of what was achieved in the OT, as the Jedi Academy and Republic are destroyed once again. So the new dawn promised by ep6 was false in some sense.
  • Odyssey of Darkness refers to the light/darkness metaphor again, specifically to Veil of Darkness, and indicates the position of the heroes of ep8 in relation to the heroes of ep1, as in ep8 our heroes are beyond the veil of ep1; in ep8 our heroes are now in the position of the Separatists of the PT, whereas this was not exactly true for the Rebellion of the OT (except perhaps for Saw Gerrera). Odyssey of Darkness also equally refers to Rey’s more existential odyssey and to the odyssey of the Resistance fleet from D’Qar to Crait, perhaps also to Finn and Rose’s odyssey which has fatal consequences for the Resistance fleet.
  • Triumph of the Force refers to The Force Unknown, as ep9 will presumably fulfil the contradictions of the previous episodes, and so the Force will have become fully realised at this point.

For these reasons I’d prefer to keep Odyssey of Darkness as is, but thanks for your suggestion.

I love this idea about giving Rogue One the “Episode IV” number and increasing the number of the other episodes, as I consider Rogue One to be essential for the OT, but I wonder if this would make things a bit too confusing?

Thanks for pointing out those problems with the demo clips, I think I’ve fixed up the problem with the Boss Nass scene, and I’ll review the ep5 Hoth medbay scene and deleted scene integration when I have time. Hopefully I’ll be able to make the cuts run a bit smoother there. If you find any other errors please let me know 😃

Post
#1169975
Topic
Imhotep's Skywalker Saga (EP1-8 + CW03 & R1) (V2 Released)
Time

light fades, darkness reigns; light redeems, darkness returns; again a spark


With this rendition of the Saga, I aim to show a way in which it can be seen as a complete and necessary whole; as this is what the Sequel films seemed to promise, and where they failed. In this way, my approach is to revise these classic films by giving what already has value a place to show itself: to balance the political, romantic, and spiritual elements of the plot; to cut where a part serves only spectacle and not character; to cut where I find a part problematic, so that the narrative is continuous and the oppositions are clear; to cut through my own nostalgia for scenes, to see what is necessary.

Major Cuts; or, why to watch these edits in particular

  • New episode titles and title crawls.
  • The Separatists are rebels; this is emphasised where, for example, Dooku is not shown as Sidious’ apprentice in EP2, and Poggle’s subtitles are altered to imply that the Death Star plans were stolen from Coruscant by Jango.
  • No kiss at the lakeside: in EP2 the romance scenes on Naboo are trimmed, removing the kiss there; now Padme and Anakin share their first kiss before the arena sequence on Geonosis
  • Addition of PT deleted scenes: to give Padme more agency in the plot; addition of EP5 & 7 deleted scenes, to give Leia more agency in a similar way.
  • Harmy’s Despecialised Editions are the primary source for the OT; Adywan’s Revisited Editions are used for certain shots.
  • There is only one Death Star: in EP4 the assault on the Death Star sequence is trimmed and combined with the Falcon escaping the Death Star; the EP5 & 6 crawls are written to reflect this.
  • No Luke-Leia romance; cuts to EP4, 5, & 6; they are platonic friends, who then realise they are lost siblings.
  • Luke’s prison break plan is revised to be more coherent (restructure of EP6 Act 1).
  • No 3PO as a golden god, in EP6.
  • Stormtroopers are clones; in EP7 dialogue is cut that states otherwise.
  • R2 does not have the map; in EP7 Rey finds Ahch-To via the Force.
  • In EP8, Poe is more stubborn and his fault is clarified; also, Holdo’s point of view is made more reasonable.
  • Tartakovsky’s Clone Wars (CW03) and Rogue One (R1) are included: with new titles, but without episode numbering; CW03 with some restructuring, and R1 with minor edits. They contain moments that are essential in bringing the Saga together as a whole, and in supplementing the PT and OT, respectively.
  • TROS will not be included. To me, the broom boy scene at the end of EP8 is the perfect end to the Saga. Still, no cuts contradict TROS.

Generally, there is some restructuring for efficacy, scenes cut for brevity, and many deleted scenes added. Otherwise, the cuts are a question of a style (to remove or reframe ridiculous antics, unnecessary action, stilted dialogue, and irrelevant shots), and that style being unified across all episodes. No cuts require continuity between trilogies, at most they only extend within a single trilogy.

Potential Cuts; to be attempted

  • Naboo is Alderaan; to be achieved through a partial sub and dub of the Gungans in EP1, with Rakatan alien dialogue from KOTOR, and other minor edits in EP2 & 3.
  • In EP1, trim the shot of Maul falling down the shaft, and add brief a voiceover (‘Kenobi!!’?), to imply that he lives, for Clone Wars continuity.
  • Sidious has been removed from EP1, but will be restored, as this cut feels unsuccessful.
  • EP3 ‘Seeds of Rebellion’ deleted scenes restructure; the first scene moved to last position in the sequence, so that the formation of the rebellion (and not the petition of two-thousand) concludes this subplot.
  • Addition of Clone Wars content to EP3 (Yoda’s Journey, Tartakosvky’s Battle of Coruscant, Siege of Mandalore & Order 66), as in Delpheas’ edit. With an intertitle due to length.
  • Combine EP7 & 8 into a single film without an episode number, with an intertitle due to length.
  • Restore broom boy epilogue scene in EP8, as this was originally cut in anticipation of TROS.

Cuts (both major and minor), by Episode

If a cut is copied from another editor, I have attempted to note the source in brackets. Still, some may have been missed, and many imitated cuts are modified in some way.

Episode I:

  • Title; VEIL OF DARKNESS
  • The opening sequence is heavily trimmed, along with the Naboo throne room and Otah Gunga scenes being cut.
  • The Federation/Sidious scenes are heavily trimmed.
  • Jar-Jar Bink’s antics are reduced (Hal).
  • Added the ‘Anakin fights Greedo’ deleted scene (Hal).
  • Qui-Gon using the Force to sabotage Sebulba’s podracer is emphasised more clearly.
  • Final battle is restructured to make Anakin the hero, rather than a lucky fool (Hal).

Episode II:

  • Title; A SEPARATIST THREAT
  • Count Dooku is not Darth Sidious’ apprentice in this film; hopefully implying that he is gradually corrupted by Sidious after EP2, to make his plea for Obi-Wan to join him earnest and not duplicitous
  • Cuts made to prevent Anakin from being a creep, and have Padme take the initiative in their relationship
  • Second assassination attempt has been trimmed, the slugs are replaced with lasers (Swagbeditor)
  • Obi-Wan’s ‘toxic dart’ subplot has been trimmed (Phantom Editor)
  • The scene between Padme and the Queen of Naboo has been trimmed; all of Anakin’s and Sio Bibble’s (the Governor) lines have been removed here.
  • Lama Su’s (Kaminoan Prime Minister) lines stating that the clone army was made for the Republic are removed, as this overly complicates Obi-Wan’s detective subplot. Here we only find out that Master Sifo-Dyas ordered a clone army, but not why or who for. Here, the Jedi begin the Clone War with direct ownership and control over the Clone Army, but by EP3 this control has been eroded.
  • The ‘forbidden love’ night interior scene (Anakin and Padme) has been removed (Phantom Editor); also the lakeside kiss scene is removed, so their romantic relationship begins toward the end of the film, with their first kiss at the Geonosian arena.
  • Act 2 has been restructured so that Obi-Wan’s holo-call occurs in real time/is not a recording (Seciors?).
  • Added deleted scenes: Padme addresses the Senate (scene extended further than Hal’s edit), Obi-Wan and Mace (Jedi landing pad), extended arrival on Naboo, Anakin meets the parents, and Dooku interrogates Padme.
  • The scene with Watto on Tatooine is removed; Anakin can find his mother through the Force.
  • The confession scene on Tatooine (Anakin and Padme) has been removed.
  • Where Jango and Obi-Wan meet, their duel on Kamino has been trimmed and their dogfight in the rings of Geonosis removed (Phantom Editor)
  • The droid factory sequence has been trimmed (Hal).
  • The final battle sequence has been trimmed and restructured (Phantom Editor) so that Dooku remains at the arena, with Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme returning to face him there (in the, presumably adjacent, hangar).
  • In the Separatist war room scene, Poggle has been subtitled, and states that the Death Star plans were delivered by Jango, implying that the Separatists stole the plans from the Republic, in order to make clear that the Separatists are rebels.
  • The duel between Dooku and Yoda is cut (Q2).

Tartakovsky’s Clone Wars (CW03):

  • This edit of CW03 is a very early draft; the initial restructure is still in progress, and is not ready for public release
  • Title; TRIAL OF THE JEDI
  • Trims to reduce excessive action, and keep the plot moving.
  • First scene is of Ventress arriving on Rattatak (renamed Dathomir in the crawl), to maintain the classic opening style of the planetary descent.
  • Dantooine and Mon Cala sequences are cut.
  • Durge vs. Obi-Wan is cut.
  • Clone troops reinforcing Anakin on Yavin are cut.

Episode III:

  • Title; TWILIGHT OF THE REPUBLIC
  • For Anakin’s fall, there is a tendency to interpret this as being apolitical; I aim to show the lure of Imperial authority, of the dark side of the Force, and fear at losing Padme as three equal parts to this tragedy.
  • The opening sequence is heavily trimmed (no buzz droids, elevator antics, or crash landing)
  • The balcony scene is trimmed (l8wrtr), with the first nightmare scene moved to later in the film
  • Deleted scenes have been added (Hal), with the addition of part of the ‘adjustments to the constitution’ scene between Anakin and Palpatine.
  • Act 2 has been restructured, to allow for all theatrical scenes with the additional deleted scenes
  • The duel between Obi-Wan and Grievous has been shortened; we cut from when the Republic fleet arrives to Palpatine’s office.
  • The Jedi holo-room scene is removed
  • The duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan is trimmed, to make the action more effective (l8wrtr)
  • The duel between Yoda and Sidious is cut (Hal)
  • Padme does not die (Hal)
  • The Vader reveal scene is shortened (l8wrtr or Q2?); now we fade to black on Vader’s line ‘Yes Master’
  • Parts of the epilogue montage have been cut (no Padme’s funeral, Yoda arrives on Dagobah, or Alderaan scenes)

Rogue One (R1):

  • Title; DOMINION OF THE SITH
  • Wipe transitions added throughout.
  • The original ‘Rogue One’ title is replaced with a fade to black transition, over the original score.
  • Cornelius Evazan and Ponda Baba’s cameo is cut.
  • Cuts on the landing platform at Eadu: Jyn and Krennic do not aim their blasters at each other; Jyn is not blasted back by the shuttles engines.
  • The last two shots of Vader’s bacta tank draining out have been cut. We don’t see Vader unmasked until EP5 & 6.
  • Vader force choking Krennic, and the associated pun, is cut.
  • R2-D2 and C-3PO’s cameo is cut, as they should already be in space at this point.
  • Leia’s cameo is cut, and the shot of Vader looking at the Tantive IV as it departs is cut.

Episode IV:

  • Title; A HIDDEN FORTRESS
  • Added the deleted scene between Luke and Biggs on Tatooine.
  • Obi-Wan’s line ‘I don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid’ has been cut.
  • The Luke-Leia romance subplot is removed; Luke is not jealous of Han over Leia.
  • The escape from and assault on the Death Star sequences have been trimmed and intercut: the ‘trash compactor’ and ‘swing across the chasm’ scenes have been cut; with the final battle, all shots of Luke piloting an X-Wing removed, and neither Red Leader nor Luke perform the trench run. In this way, there is only one Death Star as it is not destroyed here; EP5 & 6 title crawls have been written to reflect this.

Episode V:

  • Title; THE FORCE UNKNOWN
  • Cuts made to prevent Han from being a creep, and from misconstruing Leia’s feelings towards him.
  • The Wampa sequence will be removed; Luke gets lost in a blizzard.
  • The deleted scene between Luke and Leia in the medical bay has been trimmed and added, despite it’s poor quality.
  • The Luke-Leia romance subplot is removed.
  • The following shots are lifted from Adywan’s Revisited edit: looking through Luke’s binoculars, the Battle of Hoth sequence, scene between Vader and the Emperor, some shots of Obi-Wan’s ghost, and final shots of the Rebel fleet.
  • Luke single-handedly destroying the AT-AT has been removed.
  • Vader executing Captain Needa has been cut, as he was neither an incompetent commander (like Admiral Ozzel) nor a traitor.
  • Lando is less of a creep towards Leia; his line ‘Hello, what have we here?’ is cut.
  • Luke does not call to Leia from Cloud City, instead she hears him calling to Ben, in order to show her force-sensitivity.

Episode VI:

  • Title; A NEW DAWN
  • The opening scenes are heavily restructured, to imply that since EP5 Luke has been training with Yoda, and so that Luke’s plan to rescue Han (and everyone else) makes sense. The sequence is as follows: Vader arrives at the Death Star, then Luke on Dagobah, Lapti Nek dance number to introduce Jabba’s palace, Leia attempts to rescue Han, Luke plants the droids (extended with the ‘lightsaber construction’ deleted scene), Luke arrives at Jabba’s palace and feigns capture (the Rancor is cut), the fight on Jabba’s sail barge, the Emperor arrives at the Death Star, then as normal from the Rebel briefing.
  • Obi-Wan’s line ‘from a certain point of view’ is cut.
  • Boba Fett does not die, as he is not present at the fight on Jabba’s barge.
  • 3PO’s golden god subplot has been removed, as it undermines the cooperation between the rebels and Ewoks.
  • The Luke-Leia romance subplot (Han being jealous of Luke over Leia) is cut.
  • In the scene between Luke and Vader on Endor, Vader’s line ‘Obi-Wan once thought as you do’ has been removed for continuity, as in EP3 it was not Obi-Wan but Padme who, in asking Anakin to abandon the Empire, thought as Luke does.
  • Some Ewok battle scenes have been removed, to make them less cute and more effective in the final battle.
  • The Executor is not destroyed in the final battle, hopefully implying that it is the Super Star Destroyer wreck on Jakku in EP7.
  • The deleted sequence of Jerjerrod preparing the Death Star to fire on Endor has been added and intercut with the end sequence of the final battle, to maintain suspense in the battle after the Emperor is destroyed.
  • The force ghosts have been removed from the final celebration scene, so the final iris wipe occurs on a shot of Luke turning to face the camera (originally setting up the shot of the force ghosts) with Leia and Han in the background.

Episode VII:

  • Title; FATE OF THE REBELLION
  • Hosnian Prime is renamed to Coruscant (will be changed to Dantooine, due to Treverrow’s Duel of the Fates) in the crawl.
  • The deleted scenes with Leia (‘Jakku message’ and ‘Leia and the Resistance’) have been combined and added as a single scene between Rey meeting BB-8 and Poe’s interrogation.
  • Kylo’s meditation scene has been placed earlier in the film, between Rey refusing to sell BB8 and Finn escaping with Poe, in order to show Kylo’s relationship to Vader as having priority over Snoke.
  • Dialogue stating or implying that the Stormtroopers are no longer clones has been cut; Kylo doesn’t say the First Order troopers are not clones and Finn doesn’t say he was taken from a family.
  • The Rathtar sequence has been trimmed.
  • The first Snoke scene has been trimmed, and placed after Rey’s force vision on Takodana, as this seems most like the ‘awakening’ that Snoke refers to.
  • The scene between Rey and Maz, after Rey picks up the Skywalker saber on Takodana, is cut.
  • Shots of Poe (X-Wing interior) in the sequence on Takodana are cut, to delay this reveal until he reunites with BB-8 and Finn on D’Qar.
  • The Falcon crash landing on Starkiller Base has been cut.
  • Han’s death is trimmed slightly; Kylo does not drop his mask, and there is less grappling of Kylo’s lightsaber.
  • Starkiller Base fires on the Republic capital in the final battle, not during the Takodana sequence (Hal).
  • A fade to black (w/ score) has been placed after Leia and Rey embrace on D’Qar, in order to separate the epilogue from the rest of the film.
  • In the epilogue, R2 does not have the rest of the map, he simply reunites with BB-8 and C-3PO. With that scene cut, Rey then uses the Force to find Luke (previous films have clearly shown this to be a Force power); the map itself is unnecessary. NeverarGreat’s excellent ‘daydream’ scene is used earlier in the film to support this.

Episode VIII:

  • Title; ODYSSEY OF DARKNESS
  • Ahch-To is renamed to Telos (from KOTOR2/TSL) in the crawl.
  • Poe’s ‘rogue leader’ subplot has been trimmed, to imply that his demotion was due to his inability to protect the bombers, and not from disobeying Leia in order to attack the Dreadnaught turrets (as this was a sound strategy in protecting the Raddus); also, the resulting conflict between Poe and Holdo is trimmed, to make Holdo less unreasonable and Poe more stubborn.
  • BB-8 does not electrocute itself to fix Poe’s X-Wing.
  • Added deleted scenes: Luke talks to caretakers, Luke mourns Han, part of the Mega Destroyer stealth mission, Rose spits before execution, Rose and Finn escape (shuttle interior).
  • The scene with Yoda is cut, to prevent Yoda from burning down an ancient Jedi temple.
  • The Mega Destroyer stealth mission deleted scene has been trimmed and added, as it helps imply that Finn was a clone.
  • Hyperspace/kamikaze manoeuvre: removed all close up shots of secondary impact on Star Destroyers, to reduce its destructive power.
  • Reduced the number of rebel transports destroyed as they flee to Crait, to lessen the unfortunate consequences of Finn and Rose’s subplot.
  • Removed Rose’s line ‘we’ll win by saving those we love, not destroying those we hate’, as her actions and the plot show this well enough.
  • Removed AT-M6 walkers firing on Luke; trimmed Luke and Kylo’s faux duel so that Kylo strikes Luke’s force projection on his first attack.
  • The shot with Luke becoming one with the Force is removed, to leave his fate more ambiguous, perhaps implying that he lives for at least some time after EP8.

This is still an open project, in need of a final pass to polish things up. I aim to return to it soon as the Saga is complete; or, at least, as the primary extension of the Saga by the Sequel films is now complete.

Feel free to comment or PM me for a link; any thoughts you have on the project are welcome.

Post
#1159453
Topic
The Starlight Project Part 2: The Last Jedi (WIP)
Time

Your alternate crawl sounds good, but I always find it hard to tell without seeing it in motion. Though I’m not sure about “awaiting the return of the legendary Luke Skywalker”, I’d go with something on reigniting the rebellion here instead. Also, I’d say farthest rather than furthest in paragraph two.

Your idea for Holdo in TFA is interesting. If you could make it work, I think a close up of Holdo (something like with Korr Sella on the planet) would be great.

Post
#1069548
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

About the ‘interrogation 7’ mockup, some of the cuts feel a little rushed but that may be fixable with a bit more work, perhaps on the audio side. This sequence does add an effective psychological element to Kylo’s distress at Rey escaping.

I do prefer some of your dialog trims, like removing ‘Supreme Leader senses it’ from the ‘forgive me…’ scene, and removing some of the stormtroopers dialogue when Rey escapes.

At the end of ESB, when Luke is on the Falcon and is communicating with Vader through the force I think they use a 3 frame dissolve to switch between Luke and Vader. Perhaps you could use that instead of fading out the different lighting where Rey wakes up in the first half of the interrogation? I like the idea that Rey is seeing herself through Kylo’s eyes through a kind of force dream, but not sure if that’s what you’re going for here.

Post
#944803
Topic
The Force Awakens : Fan Edit Ideas
Time

Maybe R2 having the map could be cut entirely? So there never was a complete map and Rey finds Luke through the force? Could be an interesting twist on the ‘quest to find a maguffin’ thing

I’ve edited the scene where R2 wakes up so that the map isn’t mentioned, and I moved C3P0s line ‘oh my dear friend, how I’ve missed you’ forward to this scene. It needs more work though

What do you think, would it work?

Post
#941621
Topic
The Force Awakens : Fan Edit Ideas
Time

Kexikus said:

@Imhotep: I don’t think that your approach can work story-wise, as Finn goes from leaving to fighting the First Order with no explanation at all. The audience would assume he left after he talks to Rey and later he suddenly returns for no reason.

Thanks for the advice. I went back and watched the whole Maz’s castle sequence and you’re right; the scene with Finn, Han, and Maz is too short for it to work.
Hal’s cut is clearer, and placing the “where’s Rey” scene where Hux’s speech was is good. I wasn’t sure what to do with that jump cut of Rey running through the forest.

Your crawl is good, it seems more coherent. I thought I’d miss the “Luke Skywalker has vanished” line but I prefer your take.
In the “With the Jedi gone…” line it sounds like you’re referring to order 66. I like the tie in with the prequels, just wondering if that’s what you meant?

Post
#939970
Topic
The Force Awakens : Fan Edit Ideas
Time

Been lurking for a while but I’m keen to contribute to this thread

I’ve been working on an edit with the space laser moved to the end, this is the scene I cut to fix Finn leaving: https://vimeo.com/165755482

He never leaves the building so the next time we see him is in the basement to receive the lightsaber. I also cut Finn saying ‘please’, didn’t think it fit with him being a coward in this scene