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Mixing up Move quotes

“What is that?”

“What you came for. A touch of magic in this world obsessed with science. A tonic. A potion.”

“What does it do?”

“How old would you guess I am?”

“I wouldn’t. . . .”

“C’mon. Don’t try to flatter me.”

“Thirty-eight? Oh, twenty-eight! Three – twenty-three?”

“I am seventy-one years old. That’s what it does. It stops the aging process dead in its tracks and forces it into retreat! Drink that potion, and you’ll never grow even one day older! Don’t drink it, and continue to watch yourself rot.”

Random Thoughts

Warbler said:

I am still looking my definitive Holmes and therefore still waiting for a definitive version of Hound of the Baskervilles.

There’s always the book version. . . .

Next Movie Seen

I suggest keeping kids away from stuff like Heavy Metal. My parents let me watch that when I was nine years old, and look what happened to me.

Random Thoughts

Spammer creates spam thread. [INSERT NAME HERE] posts first reply in spam thread. Spammer has posts deleted. [INSERT NAME HERE]'s reply appears as opening post and [INSERT NAME HERE] appears as creator of spam thread until spam thread is deleted.

It’s happened before.

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (Divergent Edition)


In orbit around the volcanically active world, the vast Rebel fleet stretches as far as the eye can see. Fighters and battle cruisers surround the largest of the Rebel star cruisers, the Home One.


Hundreds of Rebel officers of all races and genders are assembled in the war room. WEDGE ANTILLES is among them. In the centre of the room is a large holographic projector, currently inactive.

MON MOTHMA, the leader of the Alliance, enters the room. She is a stern but beautiful auburn-haired woman in early middle age. Conferring with her are several military leaders, including GENERAL CRIX MADINE and the salmon-coloured Mon Calamari ADMIRAL GIAL ACKBAR. Lando moves through the crowd until he finds Han and Chewie, standing next to Leia and the two 'droids.

Han peers at Lando’s spiffy new military dress uniform and insignia and is amused.

HAN: Commander. Excuse me, I wanted to tell you –- if you ever need a double to trick the Imperials, I know this guy named Lando who looks exactly like you.

LANDO: (amusing) What are you babbling about?

HAN: Well this fella Lando’s not a commander, see. He’s a ladies’ man and a card cheat with a terrible reputation.

LANDO: Cheat? Every time you pick up an honest deck, the face cards start crying.

HAN: (mock surprise) Why Lando, it is you!

They laugh.

LEIA: Don’t pay any attention to Han. He’s just jealous. (smiles wryly) When he went into the carbonite, he was the best-looking pilot in the Rebellion.


THREEPIO: Cmdr. Calrissian, you cut an extremely dashing figure in that uniform, if I may say so.

LANDO: Thanks, Threepio.

HAN: So they made you an assault wing commander, huh, Lando?

LANDO: (proud) Someone must have told them about my little maneuver at the Battle of Taanab.

HAN: Well, don’t look at me, pal. I just said you were a fair pilot. I didn’t know they were lookin’ for somebody to lead this crazy attack.

LANDO: I’m surprised they didn’t ask you to do it.

HAN: Well, who says they didn’t? But I ain’t crazy. You’re the respectable one, remember?

Lando flashes his million-credit smile.

Mon Mothma signals for attention, and the room falls silent.

MON MOTHMA: The emperor has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come.

This causes a stir. The chamber lights go dim and the projector comes to life, displaying a blue-green holographic model of the Endor moon and a red-orange model of the Empire’s new superweapon circling it in geostationary orbit. Though incomplete, enough details are present to clearly define its shape and structure. It is a DS-2 Orbital Battle Station – a Death Star II.

MON MOTHMA: The data brought to us by the Bothan spies pinpoints the exact location of the emperor’s new battle station. We also know that the weapon systems of this Death Star are not yet operational. With the Imperial fleet spread throughout the Galaxy in a vain effort to engage us, it is relatively unprotected. But most important of all, we’ve learned that the emperor himself is personally overseeing the final stages of the construction of this Death Star. (morose) Many Bothans died to bring us this information. (beat) Admiral Ackbar, please.

Admiral Ackbar steps forward.

ADM. ACKBAR: You can see here the Death Star orbiting the forest moon of Endor. Although the weapon systems on this Death Star are not yet operational, the Death Star does have a strong defense mechanism. It is protected by an energy shield, which is generated from the nearby forest moon of Endor.

A yellow field simulating the energy shield is projected from the holographic moon, surrounding the Death Star model.

ADM. ACKBAR: (cont’d) The shield must be deactivated if any attack is to be attempted. Once the shield is down, our cruisers will create a perimetre, while the fighters fly into the superstructure and attempt to knock out the main reactor.

The model of the moon is shunted out of view and the red-orange Death Star enlarged, focusing on a diagram of the internal superstructure. A dot representing an attacking vessel travels down the ductwork, strikes home, and the projector powers down with a white flash. The chamber lights come back up to full glow.

ADM. ACKBAR: (cont’d) Cmdr. Calrissian has volunteered to lead the fighter attack.

HAN: (sarcastic) Good luck.

Lando throws him a questioning look.

HAN: (cont’d) You’re gonna need it.

ADM. ACKBAR: General Madine.

Madine moves centre stage. Though he looks like a Human male with an ugly beard and bad haircut, he is in actuality a humanoid with a radically divergent internal anatomy, least of which is the secondary mouth hidden atop his head.

GEN. MADINE: We have stolen an Imperial cargo ship. Using a secret Imperial code, a strike team will land on the moon and deactivate the shield generator.

The assembly begins to mumble among themselves.

C-3PO: Sounds dangerous.

LEIA: (to Han) I wonder who they found to pull that off.

HAN: Probably some sucker who lost a coin flip.

GEN. MADINE: Capt. Solo, is your strike team assembled?

Leia, startled, looks at Han, surprise changing to admiration.

LEIA: Who did you lose the coin flip to, Han? Yourself?

HAN: You could say that. And now look at me – a volunteer. (to Madine) Uh, my team’s ready. I don’t have a command crew for the shuttle.

Chewbacca raises his hairy paw and volunteers. Han looks at him.

HAN: Well, it’s gonna be rough, pal. I didn’t want to speak for you.

Chewie waves that off with a huge GROWL.

HAN: That’s one.

LEIA: (smiles) General … count me in.

C-3PO: While I would not wish to sound presumptuous, Your Highness, I must be included as well. Master Luke would expect no less of me.

LEIA: We couldn’t get along without you, Threepio.

HAN: Welcome aboard, Goldenrod.

GEN. MADINE: Solo, by my reckoning that leaves you one officer short for your command crew.

HAN: Right, sir. I was thinking of asking –

LUKE: (O.C.) I’m with you, too.

Everyone turns in the direction of that voice and peers into the crowd. At the back stands Luke. Han and Leia are surprised and delighted.

HAN: Looks like the roster’s complete, Gen. Madine.

MON MOTHMA: (nods) Time is short. Moreover, we must adjust our own plans to make up for the losses inflicted on us by Lord Vader at the battle of the Baji shipyards. So let us now conclude the overview briefing and divide into operational groups for final preparation.

The officers nod and start to get up. Luke steps down and Leia embraces him warmly. She senses a change in him and looks into his eyes questioningly.

LEIA: (frowns) What is it?

LUKE: (hesitant) Ask me again sometime.

Han and Chewie crowd around Luke as the assembly breaks up.

HAN: Luke.

LUKE: Hi, Han … Chewie.

Artoo beeps a sing-song observation to a worried Threepio.

C-3PO: There are many ways of describing this situation, Artoo, but “exciting” is hardly the word I would choose.


The Millennium Falcon rests beyond the stolen Tydirium, a Sentinel-class shuttle which looks anomalous among all the Rebel ships in the vast docking bay. Chewie barks a final farewell to Lando and leads Artoo and Threepio – who have both been repainted camo green – up the shuttle, crowded now with the Rebel strike team loading weapons and supplies. Lando turns to face Han. Luke and Leia have said their good-byes and start up the ramp.

HAN: Look. I want you to take her. I mean it. Take her. You need all the help you can get. She’s the fastest ship in the fleet.

LANDO: (placating) Alright, old buddy. You know, I know what she means to you. I’ll take good care of her. She-she won’t get a scratch. Alright?

HAN: Right.

Han starts to leave, stops, turns back to Lando.

HAN: I got your promise now. Not a scratch.

LANDO: (amused) Look, would you get going, you pirate.

Han and Lando pause, then exchange salutes.

LANDO: Good luck.

HAN: You, too.

Han goes up the ramp. Lando watches him go and then slowly turns away.


Luke is working on a back control panel as Han comes in and takes the pilot’s seat. Chewie, in the seat next to him, is trying to figure out all the Imperial controls.

LUKE: Chewie, that fake clearance code’s causing static on the IFF transponder. Give me some signal clarification, would you?

Chewie makes an adjustment.

LUKE: Okay, that’s got it.

HAN: You got her warmed?

LUKE: Yeah, she’s comin’ up.

Chewie growls a complaint.

HAN: No. I don’t think the Empire had Wookiees in mind when they designed her, Chewie. (beat) How’s that hand, Luke? You took a nasty shot back there on Nar Hekka.

LUKE: It’s fine, Han. Fixing a bionic limb’s easier than healing flesh and blood, I guess. Being part machine has its advantages.

HAN: You know, we’ve got plenty of spare blasters, Luke. You don’t have to limit yourself to –

LUKE: Thanks anyway, Han, but the lightsaber is the only weapon a Jedi needs.

HAN: Huh.

Han is a bit thrown by the tremendous change in Luke since he saw him last, at Hoth. Luke smiles understandingly.

LUKE: This thing’s gonna come out right, Han. You’ll see. We’ll make it come out right.

HAN: Yeah. Well I wish I had the same confidence in the Force that you do.

LUKE: Well for what it’s worth, the Force seems to have confidence in you.

HAN: For some reason, that doesn’t make me feel any better.


The Tydirium warms up.


Leia comes in from the hold and takes her seat near Luke. Chewie barks and hits some switches. Artoo rolls up and beeps.

C-3PO: Pardon me, Capt. Solo. Artoo says Major Derlin reports his commandos are secured for launch.

LEIA: C’mon, Captain. Liftoff time.

HAN: Right. (beat) Chewie, let’s see what this piece of junk can do. Ready, everybody?

LUKE: All set.

Artoo warbles.

C-3PO: Yes, Artoo. Here we go again.


The stolen Imperial shuttle leaves the main docking bay of Home One, lowers its wings into flight position, and zooms off into space.


HAN: Alright, hang on.


The Tydirium is launched into hyperspace.


The throne room is dimly lit except for a pool of light at the far end. There the Emperor stands by an elaborate control chair before a large window which looks out across the giant green moon of Endor.

Darth Vader, standing with Jerjerrod and two of Palpatine’s advisors, cautiously approaches his master. The ruler’s back is to Vader.

EMPEROR PALPATINE: (to Vader) Send the fleet to the far side of Endor. There it will stay until called for.

DARTH VADER: What of the reports of the Rebel fleet massing near Sullust?

EMPEROR PALPATINE: It is of no concern. Soon the Rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker will be one of us! Your work here is finished, my friend. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.

DARTH VADER: Yes, my master.

Vader bows, then turns and exits the throne room as the emperor approaches the waiting advisors.


In orbit over Endor’s moon, visible for the first time, is the monstrous half-completed Death Star II, its massive superstructure curling away from the completed section like the arms of a giant octopus.


Han looks back at Luke and Leia as Chewie flips several switches. Through the viewscreen, the Death Star II and the huge Executor can be seen.

HAN: If they don’t go for this, we’re gonna have to get outta here pretty quick, Chewie.

Chewie growls his agreement.

CONTROLLER #2: (O.S.) We have you on our screen now. Please identify.

HAN: Shuttle Tydirium requesting deactivation of the deflector shield.


The Imperial shuttle approaches the Executor.


CONTROLLER #2: (into comm) Shuttle Tydirium, transmit the clearance code for shield passage.


HAN: Transmission commencing.

Leia and Chewbacca listen tensely as the sound of a high speed transmission begins.

LEIA: Now we find out if that code is worth the price we paid.

HAN: It’ll work. It’ll work.

Chewie whines nervously. Luke stares at the Star Dreadnought that looms ever larger before them.

LUKE: (nervous) Vader’s on that ship.

HAN: Now don’t get jittery, Luke. There are a lot of command ships. (beat) Keep your distance though, Chewie, but don’t look like you’re trying to keep your distance.

Chewie barks a question.

HAN: I don’t know. Fly casual.

Chewie barks his worries as the Executor grows larger out the window.


Lord Vader walks down the row of controllers to where ADM. FIRMUS PIETT is leaning over the tracking screen of the controller we’ve seen earlier. Piett straightens at Vader’s approach.

DARTH VADER: Where is that shuttle going?

ADM. PIETT: (into comm) Shuttle Tydirium, what is your cargo and destination?

HAN: (O.S.; filtered) Parts and technical crew for the forest moon.

The bridge commander looks to Vader for a reaction.

DARTH VADER: Do they have a code clearance?

ADM. PIETT: It’s an older code, sir, but it checks out. I was about to clear them.

Vader looks upward, as he senses Luke’s presence.


LUKE: I’m endangering the mission. I shouldn’t have come.

HAN: It’s your imagination, kid. C’mon. Let’s keep a little optimism here.


The shuttle continues on its way, passing the bridge tower of the Star Dreadnought closely.


ADM. PIETT: Shall I hold them?

DARTH VADER: No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself.

ADM. PIETT: As you wish, my lord. (to controller) Carry on.


The group waits tensely.

HAN: They’re not goin’ for it, Chewie.

CONTROLLER #2: (O.S.) Shuttle Tydirium, deactivation of the shield will commence immediately. Follow your present course.

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Everyone but Luke, who looks worried. Chewie barks.

HAN: (elated) Okay! I told you it was gonna work. No problem.


The stolen Imperial shuttle moves off toward the green sanctuary moon.


Vader watches from the bridge. He turns and quickly strides off.

This post has been edited.

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (Divergent Edition)


The gas giant Endor lies suspended in the ether. In the foreground, its small moon. Turned away from their sun, these sides of both the gaseous titan and terrestrial moon are shrouded in deep night.

The Star Dreadnought Executor moves overhead toward the dark side of the moon, followed by two TIE fighters. The small, gray Lambda-class shuttle ST 321 rockets from the main bay of the ship and hustles toward the lunar disc.

As the Imperial shuttle closes in on the moon, it soon dawns that the ST 321 isn’t headed into the atmosphere; hidden in shadow, all but invisible save for the baleful red maw of its main docking bay, is the Empire’s new superweapon.


The shuttle pilot makes contact with the war machine.

PILOT: Command station, this is ST 321. Code Clearance Blue. Deactivate the security shield.


CONTROLLER #1: The security deflector shield will be deactivated when we have confirmation of your code transmission. Stand by.

Operators move about among the control panels. A shield operator hits switches beside a large screen, on which is a display of the superweapon, Endor and its moon, and a bright web delineating the invisible deflector shield.


CONTROLLER #1: (O.S.) You are clear to proceed.

PILOT: We’re starting our approach.


The control officer, LIEUTENANT ENDICOTT, moves to a viewport and watches as the ST 321 lands in the massive docking bay.

CONTROLLER #1: Lord Vader’s shuttle has entered the hangar bay field.

MOFF TIAAN JERJERROD, commander of this facility, enters the control room. A tall, confident technocrat, he currently wears an expression of displeasure upon his face.

MOFF JERJERROD: Lieutenant, what is the meaning of this?

OFFICER: Battle station commander on deck!

A tall, confident technocrat, Jerjerrod approaches the lieutenant. The moff’s brow is furrowed with unease.

MOFF JERJERROD: (cont’d) Why wasn’t I informed that Lord Vader was coming?

LT. ENDICOTT: We received no advance word, Moff Jerjerrod. Lord Vader’s shuttle simply arrived and –

MOFF JERJERROD: (interrupts) Nevermind that now! (glances out viewport) Have your men stand ready.


Imperial officers, non-coms, and stormtroopers assemble in two rows before the craft. Jerjerrod strides through the assembled personnel to the base of the shuttle ramp. Many of the personnel are uneasy about the new arrival, but the moff stands tall.

The exit hatch of the shuttle opens with a WHOOSH, revealing only darkness. Then, heavy FOOTSTEPS and MECHANICAL BREATHING. From this black void Darth Vader appears. The Dark Lord of the Sith looks over the assemblage as he walks down the ramp.

MOFF JERJERROD: Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We’re honoured by your presence.

DARTH VADER: You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I’m here to put you back on schedule.

MOFF JERJERROD: I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can.

DARTH VADER: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

MOFF JERJERROD: (halts) I tell you, this construct will be operational as planned.

DARTH VADER: The emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

MOFF JERJERROD: But he asks the impossible. I need more men.

DARTH VADER: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.

MOFF JERJERROD: (aghast) The emperor’s coming here?

DARTH VADER: That is correct, Commander. And he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.

MOFF JERJERROD: We shall double our efforts.

DARTH VADER: I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

Vader leaves Jerjerrod. Turning around, the moff departs in the opposite direction.


Once again, Artoo finds himself waiting around in the damp environs of this swampy region of the planet, and he’s none too happy about it. He beeps disconsolately to himself and turns to look at Yoda’s cottage. Warm yellow light escapes the oddly shaped windows to fight the gloom.


We see the familiar face of YODA, THE JEDI MASTER. Sitting up under the covers of his small bed, his manner is frail, and his voice, though cheerful, seems weaker.

YODA: Hmmm. That face you make. Look I so old to young eyes?

Luke is sitting in a corner of the cramped space and, indeed, his look is woeful. Caught, he tries to hide it.

LUKE: No … of course not.

YODA: (chuckles) I do. (coughs) Yes, I do. (beat) Sick have I become. Old and weak. (points at Luke) When nine-hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm?

Yoda chuckles at this, coughs.

YODA: Soon will I rest. Yes, forever sleep. (sighs) Earned it, I have.

LUKE: Master Yoda, you can’t die.

YODA: Strong am I with the Force … but not that strong. Twilight is upon me and soon night must fall. (beat) That is the way of things … the way of the Force.

LUKE: But I need your help. I’ve come back to complete the training.

YODA: No more training do you require. Already know you that which you need.

Yoda sighs and lies back on his bed.

LUKE: Then I am a Jedi.

YODA: (coughs) Not yet. One thing remains: Vader. You must confront Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.

Luke is in agony. He is silent for a long moment, screwing up his courage. Finally he is able to ask.

LUKE: Master Yoda … is Darth Vader my father?

Yoda’s eyes are full of weariness and compassion. An odd, sad smile creases his face.

YODA: A question late in coming….

Luke watches him, each moment an eternity.

LUKE: Yoda, I must know.

YODA: (resigned) Your father he is.

Luke reacts as if cut.

YODA: Told you, did he?

LUKE: (nods) Yes.

A new look of concern crosses Yoda’s face. He closes his eyes.

YODA: Unexpected this is … and unfortunate.

LUKE: (perturbed) Unfortunate that I know the truth?

Yoda opens his eyes again and studies the youth.

YODA: No. (gathers strength) Unfortunate that you rushed to face him … that incomplete was your training. Not ready for the burden were you.

LUKE: (shakes head) I’m sorry.

Yoda beckons the young Jedi closer to him. His time is very short indeed.

YODA: Luke … Luke … do not … do not underestimate the powers of the emperor, or suffer your father’s fate, you will. (weakens) Luke, when gone am I, the last of the Jedi will you be. (falters) Luke, the Force runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned. Luke … (with great effort) There … is … another … Sk … Sky … walk … er…

His breath catches in his throat. The ancient green creature’s form slumps, and he dies. Luke stares at his dead master as he disappears in front of his eyes, leaving behind only his homespun garments.


Luke wanders back to where his ship is sitting. Artoo beeps a greeting, but is ignored by his depressed master. Luke kneels down, begins to help Artoo with the ship, then stops and shakes his head dejectedly.

LUKE: I can’t do it, Artoo. (beat) I can’t go on alone.

BEN: (O.C.) Yoda will always be with you.

Luke looks up to see the shimmering image of BEN KENOBI.

LUKE: Obi-Wan. (approaches Ben) Why didn’t you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father.

BEN: You father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, he betrayed everything Anakin Skywalker believed in. The good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true – from a certain point of view.

LUKE: (incredulous) A certain point of view‽

BEN: Luke, you’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.

LUKE: You let me think I was training to face my father’s killer, not to slay my own flesh and blood!

Ben studies Luke in silence for a moment.

BEN: I don’t blame you for being angry. If I was wrong in what I did, it certainly wouldn’t have been for the first time. You see, what happened to your father was my fault.

As Ben speaks, Luke settles on a stump, interested in hearing the ghost’s tale. Artoo comes over to offer his comforting presence.

BEN: (cont’d) When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong. Palpatine sensed Anakin’s power, and lured him to the dark side. Such was my foolish pride. (beat) He is more machine, now, than man. Twisted and evil.

LUKE: I can’t do it, Ben.

BEN: To be a Jedi, Luke, you must confront and then go beyond the dark side – the side your father couldn’t get past. Impatience is the easiest door – for you, like your father. Only your father was seduced by what he found on the other side of the door, and you have held firm. You’re no longer so reckless now, Luke. You are strong and patient. And now, you must face Darth Vader again.

LUKE: I can’t kill my own father.

BEN: (discouraged) Then the emperor has already won. You were our only hope.

LUKE: Yoda spoke of another.

BEN: The other he spoke of … is your twin sister.

LUKE: (perplexed) But I have no sister.

BEN: To protect you both from the emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The emperor knew, as I did, if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous.

Luke looks into the distance, trying to comprehend all this.

BEN: Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the emperor.


The Executor and several ships of the Imperial Starfleet rest in space above the forest moon. Four squads of TIE fighters escort a polished white Lambda toward the hidden superweapon.


Thousands of Imperial troops in tight formation fill the mammoth docking bay. Vader and Jerjerrod kneel before the royal shuttle.

The shuttle’s ramp lowered, the emperor’s Royal Guards come out and create a lethal perimetre around the opening. Then Emperor Palpatine himself appears, his small, bent frame slowly making its way down the ramp with the aid of a gnarled black cane.

EMPEROR PALPATINE: (beckons to Vader) Rise, my friend.

Vader rises and falls in next to the emperor as he slowly makes his way along the rows of troops. Jerjerrod and the other officers stay kneeling until Palpatine and Vader, followed by several Imperial dignitaries, pass by; only then do they join in the procession.

DARTH VADER: This vessel will be completed on schedule.

EMPEROR PALPATINE: You have done well, Lord Vader. And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker.

DARTH VADER: Yes, my master.

EMPEROR PALPATINE: Patience, my friend. In time, he will seek you out. And when he does, you must bring him before me. He has grown strong. Only together can we turn him to the dark side of the Force.

DARTH VADER: As you wish.

EMPEROR PALPATINE: (grins) Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

He laughs to himself as they pass along the vast line of Imperial troops.

This post has been edited.

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