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DuracellEnergizer

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Join date
30-May-2010
Last activity
28-Feb-2017
Posts
15718

Post History

Post
#1051363
Topic
If you need to B*tch about something <strong>other than originaltrilogy.com</strong>... This is the place
Time

The one thing I dislike about DVDs & BDs is that neither were invented soon enough. How many obscure films & TV shows will never receive a proper release on either format just 'cause they happened to come out before the “TV-on-DVD” boom?

[JEDIT]

I’m also rather sick and tired of that asshole who keeps spamming “General Star Wars” with his stupid erectile enchancement crap.

This post has been edited.

Post
#1051260
Topic
Random Thoughts
Time

Why not just chop his hand off? That worked wonders in the Middle Ages.

Post
#1051201
Topic
Last movie seen
Time

Commando (1985)

Dumb as rocks, but damn, if it isn’t highly entertaining.

7/10

Post
#1051197
Topic
Random Thoughts
Time

I don’t watch the Oscars. I don’t care about the Oscars.

And that’s my random thought for the day.

Post
#1050848
Topic
Random Thoughts
Time

I wrote myself into about three short stories when I was a teenager. Two were just blatant wish fulfillment fantasties, but one would probably serve as a great treatment for a schlockly Ed Wood-type sci-fi movie (once all the names were changed to protect the innocent).

This post has been edited.

Post
#1050832
Topic
Random Thoughts
Time

It’ll be March in three days, yet there are at least two houses in my neighbourhood who still have their Christmas lights up.

Post
#1050563
Topic
Friday the 13th: Chapter I
Time

EXT. GAS STATION – DAY

The Jeep comes to an old gas station on the side of a rural road. Here, the vehicle comes to a stop and Alice hops out, not forgetting to take her backpack with her.

PAMELA: Take care of yourself, Alice.

ALICE: No sweat. Thanks a lot for the lift.

Alice closes the passenger side door and Pamela pulls away, leaving Alice all alone.

Turning around, Alice takes in the gas station before her. The station is closed, a sign hanging on the front door reading “No gas till Sat”, completely deserted save for a mutt which sits on the front stoop. Approaching the dog, she gives it a friendly pat and scratch behind the ears before continuing up the road on-foot.

CUT TO

A beat-up red van driving along the same rural road.

INT. VAN – DAY

Inside the van sit three individuals: TED, JEFF, and SANDRA. Ted, the one behind the wheel, is twenty-two years old, skinny, the dark-haired dweeb of the bunch. Jack, a couple years younger than Ted, is Ted’s antithesis – blond, with broad shoulders and modest muscle to go with them. Sandra, with her long, frizzy blond hair, looks like she could be Jeff’s sister; judging by the way she lovingly massages his shoulders, however, that’s unlikely to be the case.

SANDRA: How about our last jay?

JEFF: Good call.

Opening the glove compartment, Jeff reaches in and fishes out a joint.

TED: What about the dope paragraph in Mr. Christy’s letter?

JEFF: (lights joint) “Controlled substances are expressly forbidden. Possession or use of drugs or alcohol on campgrounds will mean instant dismissal.”

SANDRA: We got two weeks before the kids even arrive; then I’ll act responsibly. 'Til then, hit me.

Jeff takes a puff then hands the joint to his girlfriend.

TED: Sandra, you think there’ll be other gorgeous women at Camp Crystal Lake besides yourself?

SANDRA: Is sex all you think about?

TED: There you are dead wrong.

JEFF: Ha!

TED: (cont’d) Sometimes I just think about kissing women.

EXT. RURAL ROAD – DAY

Alice is still out there on the road when the red van comes barrelling down towards her. Spotting the van, she turns to face it, sticking her thumb out.

INT. VAN – DAY

SANDRA: (notices Alice) Guys, let’s pick her up.

EXT. RURAL ROAD – DAY

The van pulls to a stop beside Alice.

INT. VAN – DAY

Sandra opens the side door. All three passengers look upon the redhead burdened with the oversized backpack.

ALICE: Hi. I’m going to Camp Crystal Lake.

TED: Well climb aboard, sister. We’re headed that way ourselves.

Grinning, Alice takes off her backpack, tosses it in back, then climbs inside. As Sandra closes the door and they resume rolling, the four exchange introductions.

Jeff turns to Alice, offering her the joint.

JEFF: Care for a drag, Alice?

Shrugging, Alice accepts.

EXT. CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE – ENTRANCE – DAY

The van passes through the entrance into Camp Crystal Lake. To the side of the archway stands a sign which reads “CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE – Established 1935”.

INT. VAN – DAY

Sandra looks out the van windows, examining their surroundings with awe.

SANDRA: It’s beautiful….

TED: Yeah, and it also looks like it hasn’t seen a coat of paint in sixteen years.

EXT. CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE – CAMPGROUNDS – DAY

As the van pulls into the camp, we can see the buildings – all the cabins along with the loft where Barry and Claudette met their unfortunate ends. As Ted’s comment implies, the buildings are rundown, weathered and aged from the long years of disuse.

As Ted parks the van in the small parking area right beside a green Jeep much like Pamela Voorhees’, STEVE CHRISTY waves to them. Steve – a handsome, bespectacled, mustached thirty-year-old with curly blond hair – stands shirtless over a tree stump embedded in the ground, the skin of his face, arms, and chest glistening with sweat.

STEVE: Wanna give me a hand here?

As the four new counselors climb out of the van, Ted and Jeff hurry over to lend Steve their hands. Together, the three men struggle to pry the stump out of the earth.

STEVE: (calling to someone offscreen) Brenda? (to Jeff & Ted) We wanna get this tree stump out. (points to different sides of stump) Get on this side; he pulls on that side; and I’m flack. On three, okay? (beat) Brenda‽

Working together, the three men manage to uproot the stump.

STEVE: That’s great, that’s great! (irate) Brenda!

BRENDA: (O.C.) Coming!

BRENDA wanders into frame. A tall, skinny brunette, she carries a shovel in one hand and a pail in the other.

STEVE: (offers hand to newcomers) I’m Steve Christy.

JEFF: (shakes hand) Jeff Dunsberry.

SANDRA: (shakes hand) Sandra Dier.

TED: (shakes hand) Teddy Rubinstein.

ALICE: (shakes hand) Alice Hardy.

STEVE: Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake. (nods to Brenda) This is Brenda.

BRENDA: Hi. (to Steve) Cabin B’s all ready.

STEVE: Where’s Bill? Has he finished clearing out the boathouse?

BRENDA: (shrugs) I haven’t seen him in the past half hour.

STEVE: Well, I want him to start painting right away. (to newcomers) You got some grubby clothes? Climb into 'em. (beat) Well, c’mon! Let’s go!

Steve runs off to start on another chore, leaving the quartet alone with Brenda.

TED: (snickers) I thought we had two weeks.

BRENDA: C’mon, I’ll show you where you can get changed.

EXT. CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE – LAKESHORE – DAY

Finished at the boathouse, broad-shouldered, curly-haired BILL is taking a light break, standing on the shore with his hands in his pockets, watching the placid lake waters sparkle under the sun.

PROWLER’S P.O.V. – BILL

Sneaking through the woods, the Prowler spies Bill standing on the shore. Taking care not to be heard or seen, it begins slowly closing the distance between itself and him.

As Brenda comes traipsing through the trees, the Prowler stops and hurriedly ducks behind a tree.

EXT. CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE – LAKESHORE – DAY

Bills turns around as Brenda makes her presence known.

BRENDA: Steve said for you to start on the boats.

BILL: Alright. (beat) Brenda, the others show up?

BRENDA: Yeah, everyone.

BILL: You think they’re gonna last all summer?

BRENDA: (laughs) I don’t know if they’re gonna last all week!

PROWLER’S P.O.V. – BILL & BRENDA

As Bill and Brenda leave, the Prowler watches them go, still hiding behind its tree.

Post
#1050521
Topic
If you need to B*tch about something <strong>other than originaltrilogy.com</strong>... This is the place
Time

It’s bullshit that DVDs & BDs aren’t distributed in CD-style jewel cases. I have finite space for the discs, most of which has already been taken up by the overlong/oversized cases they come in. What, did the people-that-be think buyers would confuse them with CDs if they were packaged that way? Then just clearly label them as DVDs/BDs, you turd-squeezing monkeys!

This post has been edited.

Post
#1050499
Topic
Random Thoughts
Time

Jeebus said:

In an effort to broaden my taste in music I’ve been listening to a lot more rap

Shouldn’t you be listening to music, though? 😛

Post
#1050460
Topic
Mixing up Move quotes
Time

“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

*slurp*

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