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Rogue One crawl

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Warning: contains a major spoiler - read at your own risk…

OK, after the announcement, we all know that Rogue One has sadly no crawl… but, as many of us think, it could always possible to use a fan made one, to make a fan edit, or just for the sake of playing it; there are many one readily available on youtube, but who can tell which is the best?

Because it’s not possible to make a poll here, I would like to know your opinions of the following crawls, and if you have found a new one, or wrote one yourself, please post it in the comment; I’ll add the best (read: the voted one) in this first post.

Rules:

  • if you like an existing crawl, just write “I like” following by one or more crawl number, in descending order
  • if you want to add a new crawl, check if it is in line with the previous movies language first, then add a cumulative number to it

I think that “A Star Wars story” should replace the “Episode #” line, followed by the title, instead of using just the title.

Without further ado, here you are

The possible Rogue One crawls:

  • Crawl #1

    The Jedi are all but extinct, the Republic has fallen and in their wake, the Galactic Empire has engulfed the far reaches of the galaxy in fear.
    Persecuted members of the Old Republic have been thrust into hiding. Only members of the REBEL ALLIANCE dare take a stand against the ruthless Imperial forces.
    Deep in the Outer Rim territories, the dastardly Director Krennic has discovered the location of a long lost friend; one capable of completing the Empire’s most powerful weapon yet…

    (source: http://screenrant.com/star-wars-text-crawl-rogue-one-fan)


  • Crawl #2

    The Galactic Empire has risen. Chancellor Palpatine has declared himself Emperor and, with the one-time Jedi Knight known as Darth Vader at his side, has set about creating a planet-destroying weapon.
    With the Jedi presumably extinct, a newly formed REBEL ALLIANCE, led by Mon Mothma, is holding on to the last vestige of hope.
    To crush that faith, the Empire has sent their director of Advanced Weapons Research to a remote planet to track down a scientist who is the final key to completing their Death Star…

    (source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDZa6OP_ypQ - modified version taken from http://www.etonline.com/news/205224_here_a_star_wars_opening_crawl_for_rogue_one)


  • Crawl #3

    The once prosperous Republic has crumbled under the sinister rule of the Galactic Empire. Suffering countless losses, a brave REBELLION faces a battle at every turn.
    Unbeknownst to the Rebels, an unseen threat looms over the galaxy. Once revealed, this new evil will strike fear in all that oppose the Empire.
    With little time to spare, Mon Mothma, leader of the Rebellion, pleads her cause to the Imperial Senate in the hope that more star systems will join in their fight for freedom…

    (source: https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/4qjh2n/regarding_those_rumors_that_rogue_one_may_not)


  • Crawl #4 (revised by the author)
    The Jedi are all but extinct, the Republic has crumbled, and the Galactic Empire’s terrible reign falls like a shadow across the stars.
    Daring to oppose the imperial battalions, a bold REBEL ALLIANCE seeks to unite planets against the Empire. Division is rife, and conflict threatens to engulf the galaxy.
    Meanwhile, deep in the Outer Rim, the ruthless Director Krennic has discovered the location of an old ally - one who holds the key to securing the Empire’s terrifying rule…

    topdawg193


  • Crawl #5

    It is a time of galactic tyranny. The once venerable democracy has fallen to a despotic Empire,which subjugates the star systems of the defeated Old Republic.
    A few brave souls dare to defy this oppressive regime, and whisper of forming a strong REBEL ALLIANCE, now their only hope against the relentless Imperial machine.
    With the resistance still fractured and in disarray, the Empire moves swiftly to complete its ultimate weapon, one that will spell destruction and death across the stars…

    NeverarGreat


  • Crawl #6

    The Jedi are all but extinct, the Senate is crumbling and in their wake, the Galactic Empire has engulfed the far reaches of the galaxy in fear by command of the EMPEROR.
    A sinister Imperial plot to persecute members of the Republic have thrust them into hiding. Only members of the secret REBEL ALLIANCE dare make a stand against the ruthless Imperial regime.
    As the shadows of the Empire loom ever larger across the galaxy, so do deeply troubling rumors. Deep in Empire-dominated space, it is said a machine of unimaginable destructive power is nearing completion. A weapon too terrifying to contemplate and a threat that may be too great to overcome…

    Ronster


P.S. even if I put four dots at the end of the last paragraph, the forum software continues to replace them with a three-dots-one-character… so, consider them all four-dots, as Lucasfilm alwasy did!

This post has been edited.

[spoRv] projects: released | in progress | future | homepage: blog.spoRv.com| fan preservation forum: fanres.com|

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My first swing at a Rogue One crawl, contouring #1:


The Jedi are all but extinct, the Republic has crumbled, and the Galactic Empire’s terrible reign falls like a shadow over the stars.

A bold REBEL ALLIANCE dares to defy the imperial forces; but as fractures widen and hostilities escalate, conflict threatens to engulf the galaxy.

Deep in the Outer Rim, the dastardly Director Krennic has discovered the location of a long lost ally – one who holds the key to securing the Empire’s terrifying rule…


With my amendments, I wanted to:

1.) Communicate the precarious state of the galaxy at this juncture. The Rebels are scattered and disorganised - yet to become a unified opposition to the Empire - furthering unrest in the galaxy, and threatening any hope of peace.
2.) Cast Galen Erso as an old ally of Krennic’s, and not as an old friend. Secondary sources aside, there is scant evidence in the film of much friendship enjoyed between the two.
3.) Omit mention of the Death Star or any sort of imperial weapon, for the sake of aligning the audience’s discovery with that of the characters.

EDIT - Having taken some time to consider the crawl, I’ve worked up a second draft:


The Jedi are all but extinct, the Republic has crumbled, and the Galactic Empire’s terrible reign falls like a shadow across the stars.

Daring to oppose the imperial battalions, a bold REBEL ALLIANCE seeks to unite planets against the Empire. Division is rife, and conflict threatens to engulf the galaxy.

Meanwhile, deep in the Outer Rim, the ruthless Director Krennic has discovered the location of an old ally - one who holds the key to securing the Empire’s terrifying rule…


This post has been edited.

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I think that the main problem with having an opening crawl is that you DO NOT start with the prologue clip (Lahmu).

That is the major mistake everyone seems to be making. And it certainly was not the original opening shot to the movie. It’s a lame opening.

If you have the opening crawl and then open on a shot of the Dish being fitted (Seriously this is a wow factor sequence) on the death star then all the problems are solved. Although Jyn is the main character and Galen her father is helping to build the Death Star. They should not be mentioned in an opening crawl. They should not be focused on what so ever. Only the Broad themes of the Republic the Empire and the Rebel alliance.

The opening prologue is just a flashback and it should not have opened the film. The Death Star Dish being fitted is of the caliber of an opening shot though.

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Am I the only one that likes the prologue scene? Krennic alone makes the whole thing awesome with his reactions to Lyra’s fake death.

🆒

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My attempt from the RO fanedit thread:

ROGUE ONE

It is a time of galactic tyranny.
The once venerable democracy
has fallen to a despotic Empire,
which subjugates the star systems
of the defeated Old Republic.

A few brave souls dare to defy
this oppressive regime, and
whisper of forming a strong
REBEL ALLIANCE, now
their only hope against the
relentless Imperial machine.

With the resistance still
fractured and in disarray,
the Empire moves swiftly to
complete its ultimate weapon,
one that will spell destruction
and death across the stars. . . .

DuracellEnergizer: "^He’s embraced the absurd. Don’t expect to gain any conventional understanding from his posts."
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation
The Force Awakens Starlight Fanedit

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suspiciouscoffee said:

Am I the only one that likes the prologue scene? Krennic alone makes the whole thing awesome with his reactions to Lyra’s fake death.

No I really like it but it’s not an opening shot to a star wars film. It’s a flashback, and a flashback is all it will ever be. But It’s essential to the film but it just does not go at the start that is for sure.

STAR WARS

ROGUE ONE

The Jedi are all but extinct, the Senate is crumbling and in their wake, the Galactic Empire has engulfed the far reaches of the galaxy in fear by command of the EMPEROR.

Persecuted members of the Republic have been thrust into hiding. Only members of the REBEL ALLIANCE dare make a stand against the ruthless Imperial regime.

As the shadows of the Empire loom ever larger across the galaxy, so do deeply troubling rumors. The Rebellion has learned of a sinister Imperial plot to bring entire worlds to their knees. Deep in Empire-dominated space, a machine of unimaginable destructive power is nearing completion. A weapon too terrifying to contemplate and a threat that may be too great to overcome…

This post has been edited.

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Ronster said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

Am I the only one that likes the prologue scene? Krennic alone makes the whole thing awesome with his reactions to Lyra’s fake death.

No I really like it but it’s not an opening shot to a star wars film. It’s a flashback, and a flashback is all it will ever be. But It’s essential to the film but it just does not go at the start that is for sure.

STAR WARS

ROGUE ONE

The Jedi are all but extinct, the Senate is crumbling and in their wake, the Galactic Empire has engulfed the far reaches of the galaxy in fear by command of the EMPEROR.

Persecuted members of the Republic have been thrust into hiding. Only members of the REBEL ALLIANCE dare make a stand against the ruthless Imperial regime.

As the shadows of the Empire loom ever larger across the galaxy, so do deeply troubling rumors. The Rebellion has learned of a sinister Imperial plot to bring entire worlds to their knees. Deep in Empire-dominated space, a machine of unimaginable destructive power is nearing completion. A weapon too terrifying to contemplate and a threat that may be too great to overcome…

Very good crawl but the third paragraph is far too long.

Return of the Jedi: Remastered

Lord of the Rings: The Darth Rush Definitives

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One thing the OT texts had that many of these don’t is the ability for very young children to read and understand what they are explaining. Many of these are full of unintentionally hilarious dramatic adjectives that kids wouldn’t understand and adults would roll their eyes at.
My advise is: Dial it back and keep it simple.

Also, I quite like #1, except for “dastardly director” sounds silly and “deep in the outer-rim” sounds weird and unnecessary. I think something like: “In a dark corner of the galaxy the cunning Director Krennic…” would sound and flow a bit better.

This post has been edited.

Ray’s Lounge
Biggs in ANH edit idea
ROTJ opening edit idea

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Really like Crawl #1. Firmly believe that the first line of any good crawl for Rogue One should refer to the fact that the Jedi are gone, as that absence lingers over the entire film more than anything.

The more I think about it, the more I actually like Rogue One as Episode III, with AOTC and ROTS being repurposed as Episode I and Episode II, respectively. It’s definitely more pertinent to understanding the main story compared to TPM.

suspiciouscoffee said:

Am I the only one that likes the prologue scene? Krennic alone makes the whole thing awesome with his reactions to Lyra’s fake death.

I love the prologue scene, feel like it’s a powerful way to start. Only thing I would trim is some of the child acting, which isn’t always convincing.

If it is referencing Inglourious Basterds (which is in turn referencing TGBTU), I’d honestly consider just starting with Krennic arriving, only for the audience to gradually learn (as with Inglourious) that Lyra and the child are alive and Galen is lying.

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Thanks for your crawl, I added them in the first post.

ray_afraid: some words are carefully chosen to let the text sound important and not “usual”; I do not agree that all of them could be easily understood by any given young child - told by me, an Italian who think that even in “Guerre Stellari” crawl (and dialog as well) there are “difficult” words for younger audience.

[spoRv] projects: released | in progress | future | homepage: blog.spoRv.com| fan preservation forum: fanres.com|

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darthrush said:
Very good crawl but the third paragraph is far too long.

STAR WARS

ROGUE ONE

The Jedi are all but extinct, the Senate is crumbling and in their wake, the Galactic Empire has engulfed the far reaches of the galaxy in fear by command of the EMPEROR.

A sinister Imperial plot to fracture the Republic has weakened any democratic solution in search of peace. Only members of the secret REBEL ALLIANCE dare make a stand against the ruthless Imperial regime.

As the shadow of the Empire looms ever larger across the galaxy, so do deeply troubling rumors. It is said a machine of unimaginable destructive power is nearing completion. A weapon too terrifying to contemplate and a threat that may be too great to overcome…

Shortened and edited version.

This post has been edited.

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I do not agree, not because ally sound worst than friend - at the contrary! - but they were friend at some time in the past (at least accordingly to Jyn’s dream), while I intend ally to be better used in a war context - yes, I know this IS a Star WARs film, after all! 😄

About the other word:

[spoRv] projects: released | in progress | future | homepage: blog.spoRv.com| fan preservation forum: fanres.com|

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Having taken some time to consider the crawl, I’ve worked up a second draft:


The Jedi are all but extinct, the Republic has crumbled, and the Galactic Empire’s terrible reign falls like a shadow across the stars.

Daring to oppose the imperial battalions, a bold REBEL ALLIANCE seeks to unite planets against the Empire. Division is rife, and conflict threatens to engulf the galaxy.

Meanwhile, deep in the Outer Rim, the ruthless Director Krennic has discovered the location of an old ally - one who holds the key to securing the Empire’s terrifying rule…


I’ve included this redraft in my original post, too. I reckon it’s my preferred version.

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Crawl#1 is best, with some slight alterations as suggested by others. And yes, the Death Star should be left unnamed, to add some mystery.

However, I personally liked that they didn’t use a crawl. That triumphant John Williams score with a crawl doesn’t fit the darker tone of ‘Rogue One,’ especially considering the grim nature of events that were to happen in the opening scene.

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I think something similar to the slow version of the “Force Theme” that was featured in the Rogue One trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glb5zqPdKSQ
should be used, because it fits the darker, modern tone that ‘Rogue One’ has.

Personally, I was fine with simply “A long time ago…” in the film. But I do look forward to see how the crawl can be integrated while matching the tone of the film.

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UPDATE: I want to say a big THANK YOU to Jackpumpkinhead, to have kindly provided a perfect crawl, made with his own crawl maker; I decided to go with #1, as it seems to be… well, the right one!

Thanks also to The Aluminum Falcon for his help!

Soon I’ll post a link to the crawl video file.

[spoRv] projects: released | in progress | future | homepage: blog.spoRv.com| fan preservation forum: fanres.com|

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I’d like to see it with a crawl. The beginning revamped and a few of the dodgy scenes/comments removed. Then I would happily have it as the actual prequel.

There can only be three!

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