TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 12

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s the shuttle version without the TIE fighter escort. I think it will need the TIEs in the final version.

https://vimeo.com/199369649
Password: kylo

I went ahead and cleaned up the laser a bit more as well as giving the Finalizer some movement.

This is cool, I like it. I guess it makes more sense too, in many ways.

• It makes sense to have the TIE attack that Rey sees come as more of a surprise attack, it’s a bit weird to just have them approach slowly in plain sight. The attack would be more of a surprise to the audience as well.
• Also, Kylo coming alone or with a few TIEs approaching slowly and menacingly works for him as a character. Later on when Rey sees the castle being destroyed he just glides in slowly as well.
• The reactions of everyone on the ground works better as well, not panicking, just wondering and worrying. Perhaps especially how Han is now looking at his son, with that troubled expression.
• And of course it removes the continuity problem with the angle and direction of the attacking TIEs.

So I guess I’d like to try this concept next, without the intercutting, and see how it works with the score and everything.

NeverarGreat said:

Awesome! So glad to finally find some sort of solution. 😃

JEDIT: Here’s close-to-final sequence, from the launch of the shuttle to landing:
https://vimeo.com/199415784
Password: kylo
And here’s the uncompressed avi of the final sequence with a few more tweaks to the movement of the shuttle:
https://mega.nz/#!nM9ACJ7L!FREhN8pIrmzOy6y9u6Hr1PzpzIRi0J4dJjzRmk6mIqo

I just used the original movie edits, so obviously it will need dubbing at the very least. Beyond that though, cuts are really subjective. I suppose the Apocalypse Now TIEs can go, but ‘Those beasts!’ sounds about right considering the surprise attack.

What do you think? Should Kylo have a TIE escort, or is he more brazen than that?

Very nice! I’m downloading the avi now. I’m thinking maybe the escort is unnecessary? This way it looks less threatening (which strategically would be good) but as you say also brazen and badass. And either way Kylo knows TIEs are coming.

I’m not really convinced by the ship and it’s movements now though. It’s clearly just a cutout, and seen from the back. Ideally I would like a 3D model or even a physical model, or at least a better cutout. What could be cool (and JJ Abramsy) as well would be a zoom in on the ship in the second shot of the sky. Maybe. I think I’ll try some things.

EDIT:
Here’s a cutout I made with the shuttle straight from the front, it could work better:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/8f0z415ideyu2yg/kylo shuttle front.png?dl=0

NeverarGreat said:

Awesome! So glad to finally find some sort of solution. 😃

JEDIT: Here’s close-to-final sequence, from the launch of the shuttle to landing:
https://vimeo.com/199415784
Password: kylo
And here’s the uncompressed avi of the final sequence with a few more tweaks to the movement of the shuttle:
https://mega.nz/#!nM9ACJ7L!FREhN8pIrmzOy6y9u6Hr1PzpzIRi0J4dJjzRmk6mIqo

I just used the original movie edits, so obviously it will need dubbing at the very least. Beyond that though, cuts are really subjective. I suppose the Apocalypse Now TIEs can go, but ‘Those beasts!’ sounds about right considering the surprise attack.

What do you think? Should Kylo have a TIE escort, or is he more brazen than that?

The ship movements looks unconvincing to me. An actual 3d model with animation would definetly look better here. Also I think the shuttle should be farther away and moving slower since it would arrive way earlier than the TIEs in this version. And I’d add the TIE escort simply because the Empire and the First Order like to show their military power by giving escorts to everything^^

Ultimately I’m not sold on the idea though. It does fix several issues for sure but it also lets us know very early that Kylo arrives which we don’t know in the original cut at that point. And I also find it a little unbelievable that the First Order would launch a surprise attack and at the same time have a Stardestroyer clearly visible in orbit and a shuttle coming right at their target. I personally have more problems believing that than seeing the bar patrons not running away immediately when they see the TIEs. But I guess that comes down to personal preferences and if necessary I can always edit the TIEs back in for myself^^

Kexikus said:

And I also find it a little unbelievable that the First Order would launch a surprise attack and at the same time have a Stardestroyer clearly visible in orbit and a shuttle coming right at their target.

How about Kylo and TIEs but no Stardestroyer?

Sir Ridley said:

How about Kylo and TIEs but no Stardestroyer?

I’d have to see it but the combination of a shuttle flying directly at them and a surprise attack is what feels off to me. Not having the Stardestroyer wouldn’t change that and also it looks very cool.

Kexikus said:

I’d have to see it but the combination of a shuttle flying directly at them and a surprise attack is what feels off to me. Not having the Stardestroyer wouldn’t change that and also it looks very cool.

With the material available I’d say something bad has to come directly at them, and TIEs need to fly over Rey. I don’t know if the way the crowd is looking and where Rey is is even the same, so perhaps seeing TIEs in both places would technically be two different groups of TIEs which would explain why they don’t match exactly, but would raise other questions. Hmmm.

Something else to try could be changing the shot where Rey looks up to have the TIEs a bit higher up.

Personally I think the shuttle looks great. A lot more convincing than the TIEs. It doesn’t look like an obvious cutout to me. I’d also like for the edit to keep the “Apocalypse Now” shot if possible…admittedly just because I think it’s a cool shot.

Octorox said:

I’d also like for the edit to keep the “Apocalypse Now” shot if possible…

Yes please, it’s the best shot of the entire movie !

Hal 9000 said:

Carrie’s hair is different in the deleted scene. 😦

Here’s the idea: we insert Han in the beginning of the deleted scene, with the line “you changed your hair”, and then when we see her the next time he remarks once again “you changed your hair”. Problem solved.

But yeah, that’s a shame. The braid, right? Technically I guess it could be removed digitally. Looking at the scene I feel like it would be doable. If there is a perfect spot for the scene in the movie and all that’s needed to make it work is removing the braid (and the time code) I could give it a try.

In other news: I’m currently looking into having 3D ships for the Kylo idea. I’m cautiously optimistic about it, but not quite there yet.

NeverarGreat said:

MalàStrana said:

Octorox said:

I’d also like for the edit to keep the “Apocalypse Now” shot if possible…

Yes please, it’s the best shot of an entirely different movie!

FTFY

You’re going too far 😃 Everybody I know had only one shot in mind to talk about when the movie came out and it was this one. The only moment where JJ was actually trying to do something very different albeit very “starwarsie” AND very in the tone to represent the First Order as a menace. This shot is 100% Star Wars and to my view it’s TFA signature.

NeverarGreat said:

I just wish it made some more sense, continuity-wise. 😃

Ok ! So what about putting it during the second raid on Jakku ?

Now that I’ve seen the shot with only the Stardestroyer I think that this is the best solution. It explains why nobody is panicing since there is no attack incoming yet but it also gets rid of Kylos shuttle approaching from a different angle. So the attack isn’t really meant to be a complete surprise attack but the FO wants to hide their true intentions until it’s too late.

Having the Stardestroyer shoot a ship could work but I think it’s not necessary. It would provide a good reason for Finn to look up but I never had any problems with that. You could also add a little crowd noise that makes him wonder what’s going on and so he turns around and sees the destroyer in the sky. And since we have “They found us.” instead of “They’ve done it.” anyway we don’t need a reason for the latter.

About Leia’s hair: It looks like it should be possible to digitally remove the braid which would make it no more noticeable than Kylo’s backhead in the Snoke scenes. But even if it’s not, I think that this continuity error is a small price to pay to have this scene in the movie.

Why not just use “It’s the First Order. They found us.”?
I think that’s pretty much perfect since it explains what that Stardestroyer means (in case the audience doesn’t get it) and also continues their earlier discussion that the FO is probably able to track the Millenium Falcon.