TMTYC,
Greetings, I just wanted to say first of all that your rough cut or "work print" of Star Wars is fantastic. it really captures the feeling of what that initial viewing must have been like in the Spring of '77 months before it was released in its final form. In critiquing your film I have the following notes. I want to put it out up front that this is in no way a bash or in other words a negative review, because the film really is fantastic. Rather this review is meant to serve as a way to make your edit really shine, and provide even more enjoyment as well as improve continuity. So here we go;
While I like the whole old film look with the flicker, I would suggest tempering it just a bit, especially in the darker scenes in and especially in scenes that take place in space. This has a rather distracting quality to it that almost takes you out of the movie to focus on that instead. On the very same subject, The blue milk scene with Aunt Beru, while i do love this scene, it seems that you forgot to run the very same effect on it, so it is looks a bit out of place.
Jump cuts or wipes as you may call them, either keep them all in the film or take them out. For instance when R2-D2 leaves C-3P0 to head into the canyon, there is the familiar wipe going up. However one example where you cut it out was the transition from Ben and Luke lifting a broken C-3P0 up that cuts to the exterior of Ben's hut or house. Again this is a continuity issue. Whichever you choose, just make it uniform across the picture.
Have you thought about using any alternate music cues in any of the scenes, or perhaps music that had originally been placed in the temp track? We are all familiar with the classic soundtrack, it might be refreshing to hear music we haven't heard yet, in a workprint I wouldn't be too concerned with keeping it all original. On that same topic, have you thought of using any alternate audio and/or video? In the Star Wars Begins documentary by Jamie Benning, there are some wonderful alternate takes that one could splice in, even the actual actor's voices before dubbing. Again this lends a lot to the rough cut and make us feel like we are seeing the unfinished product. One example comes to mind, When Darth Vader is on the Star Destroyer, there are quite a few lines that are spoken by David Prowse as Darth Vader, that would be great for that scene. Many of C-3P0's lines could be done that way as well. You already used Anthony Daniel's real voice for the Landspeeder scene so why not use it elsewhere?
On the subject of alternate footage, I must congratulate you in your stunning use of alternate footage. Some of it I am familiar with, but there were several surprises I had never seen before. You intergated the Blu Ray deleted scenes nicely. There is more footage and alternate takes/angles to be gleaned that would give your cut a great feel of something new to offer.
Is there any sharper video for the scenes with the WWII battleship/Star Destroyer? I know it's stock footage, but it doesn't quite measure up or fit with the rest of the footage. Speaking of better quality footage, I know the Jabba scene is edited heavily from bits and pieces of footage, but is there any chance of finding the complete scene in a consistent quality? All the jumps in quality almost take you out of the movie with distraction.
The cantina scene, while nicely done, could use some work my friend. The biggest annoyance was the level of the music in these scenes. It is loud enough as to almost drown out the dialogue. I know the effect you were going for, but the music is easily identifiable as CD quality, not live. I think the whole scene would fare better if you cut the music out all together. This was done to much success in the Star Wars Begins doc. Also if you keep the sound the way it is, you need to make sure that the soundtrack syncs up to the action on the screen. You have sound effects playing when that action or character aren't even represented in that scene. one particular example is when Luke grabs the bartender's arm to ask for a beverage, you don't hear him say anything at that point, but several moments later when a different alien is on the screen, mysteriously Luke is asking for a beverage. Just make sure if you have audio playing that it correlates to what action is going on screen. I vote for no music so you can hear Greedo's reading of his lines in that dry English monotone which was almost drowned out with the Cantina Band.
I liked the added scene with Darth Vader and Bast's speech. I thought this little scene added a lot to the overall flow. However strong the editing of the audio is, at the end when Vader says "I shall not fail..." that line needs to be clearer and a bit louder so we can understand what is being said. On the similar subject, as Alderaan get's blown to smithereens, there is a bit of footage of Princess Leia standing there after the destruction of her planet where she says "And you call yourselves humans!" The footage in and of itself adds very little to anything, but it does tie up the scene nicely. It is available on the Star Wars Begins Documentary and you should be able to edit it in nicely.
If you are looking for continuity and are interested in how George Lucas envisioned the original movie, you might do yourself a favor and read the fantastic Making Of Star Wars book by J.W. Rinzler. It includes all the different versions of his script and might help you understand his original intentions with each scene. That information can be used to help you capture that flowing rhythm, especially with any alternate footage/stock footage. If nothing else it is a great read that will teach you more about Star Wars the movie than you ever wanted to know.
Now to end with a silly question, the end your current cut fades out right before they enter the asteroid field/remains of Alderaan system. I noticed there was nothing representing the asteroids, rather just a fade to black. My question is, this was intentional right? This will obviously start part two then?
To finish up, you did a bang up job and should be very proud of what you have accomplished. It is my humble opinion that if you think about incorporating some or all of my suggestions, then you will see that it flows much better and gives the viewers a chance to experience the Star Wars they only read about.
Cheers!
Adam