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starkiller

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7-Nov-2003
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7-Mar-2008
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Post
#94543
Topic
Sequels that should never be...
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: Darth Chaltab
Oh yeah. Mulan II. Another disaster. Casting Eddie Murphy as the dragon was bad enough, but to do it twice?
Eisner should be shot in various non-vital parts of the body for every 'straight-to-VHS' sequel Disney has done:

Mulan II
Beauty and the Beast II
Aladdin II
Aladdin III
Cinderella II
An American Tail II (were these Disney? I don't care, let's blame him for them anyways.)
An American Tail III (were these Disney? I don't care, let's blame him for them anyways.)
Land Before Time II through whatever (were these Disney? I don't care, let's blame him for them anyways.)

The man does not understand the meaning of the phrase "Happily Ever After".

Quote

ok, this isnt a sequal...but it probably falls into the 'should never be' category

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377981/.


-Darth Simon
I'm with everyone else. What ails these people!
Post
#94150
Topic
The Essentials (films)
Time
Absolutely. One of the many things Jim Carrey does well, in my eyes, is facial expressions. Just watch The Mask.
With Carrey at the wheel, going after Culpepper's hat, I can just picture the transition from average driver to demon-possessed madman going after the hat. Then, after hitting it, the look of shear joy at hitting it.
Post
#94131
Topic
The Essentials (films)
Time
I had never heard that (about Groucho and Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World), and I honestly don't think it would have worked, not with how the film was written.

Groucho is an insulter, a quick wit, and I don't see how, in that particular role, he could have been able to do that. Sure, there are a few times when Milton Berle gets picked on, but you could have everyone referring to Groucho as "Old Bag".

What I don't like about that movie, is the fact that it shows how Hollywood has changed.
You could not do that movie nowadays.

There is no actor in Hollywood that could do the Spencer Tracy role the way he did.
There is no comedy troupe that you could put in the Stooges place to get that same "Oh no!" type reaction.
If there was an effort to remake that movie 100%, there is only one role that I see being filled where the actors are even close:
Jerry Lewis -> Jim Carrey
Post
#94130
Topic
Starkiller's Fan Fic. Story
Time
Chapter 31: Entering into the Virgillian Civil War

With the shipment of weapons intact, I lifted off and headed for orbit. I plotted a course towards the middle of empty space, just in case someone on Corellia was going to try to track me based on my hyperspace vector. After about a half hour, I dropped out of hyperspace and jumped right back in, this time towards Virgillia 7.
The trip gave me a chance to continue evaluating the armor I had cobbled together. During the attack, I was able to get a feel for it. Where it felt all right, and where it needed to feel better. I found a couple spots where I needed to remove small pieces of armor to increase my mobility.
I had no idea what I should expect when I arrived, so I decided I better arm myself to the teeth. After putting on all the armor, I grabbed the vest and side holster again. I then improvised a makeshift shoulder strap for the E-11 blaster.
I still had more than an hour in hyperspace and I wanted to get a quick nap, but I was just too edgy about the mission for it. What if Virgillia 7 had too many Imperials around it when I arrived? What if the Virgillians I meet are really on the side of the Aristocracy? What if, what if, what if? A million things could still go wrong. I spent the rest of the trip trying to put the negative thoughts out of my head so that if something did go wrong, I could at least keep relatively calm about it.
When I dropped out of hyperspace, I did a quick check of the sensors. There didn’t appear to be anything waiting for us. I paused there in space for a few minutes, continuing to pour over the sensor data. Still nothing.
Somewhat reassured, I continued on with the mission. I began to circle Virgillia 7, keeping my eyes on the scanners, hoping not to learn that an Imperial Star Destroyer had been hiding on the opposite side of the planet. I slowly descended through the atmosphere, having little difficulty finding the landing coordinates I had been given on Alderaan.
It was dark on this particular part of the planet. The land was grassy, with very few structures, comparable to the United States Midwest. I suppose this could be the breadbasket area of the planet. Upon landing, I grabbed a military-styled, angle-head flashlight, sticking it in one of the pockets of the vest. I took the E-11 blaster off my shoulder, and prepared for a fight. I walked towards the ramp of the ship and lowered the ramp. I could hear voices as the opening grew. They didn’t have the modified tambour of a stormtrooper, so if these were enemies, they were local, or just not dressed like stormtroopers.
I slowly walked down the ramp. I could see there were a number of human/humanoids waiting for me. As I continued I could see that most of them had weapons drawn. If these were not the people I was there to see, I was dead, even if they were all blind. The thought of a fish and a barrel crossed my mind.
I decided it was best if I lowered my own weapon. Then I said in a fairly loud voice, “I come with gifts for the Virgillian Free Alignment.” These guys better understand basic.
Some of the Virgillians lowered their weapons, but only so they could come forward and disarm me. I couldn’t blame them for not trusting me. I was then marched off away from my ship. We walked for 10 minutes, give or take, to a small house with 2 guards on either side of the door. I was taken inside, where I was met by a man, sitting at a small table, eating.
“Sit. My men say you have something for the Virgillian Free Alignment. What exactly would you happen to have?”
I looked around the home. The Free Alignment’s opposition was an aristocracy class. No aristocrat would live like this.
“200 Blastech DH-17 blasters, plus battery packs and Tibanna Gas refills for each one, to help in your efforts against the Virgillian Aristocracy. They are a gift from the rebellion against the Empire.” I answered. “I also have ordered to transport a number of Free Alignment members to Virgillia Prime.”
The man thought for a second, then started to chuckle.
“You are a bold man. I saw the look on your face as you were brought in. You did not know what to expect, yet you still told the truth of your mission. I am in charge of Virgillia 7’s resistance cells and your shipment was expected. Within the next hour, we shall unload the weapons and load our men on board your ship. You should leave immediately after, so that you can make it to the Virgillia Prime landing coordinates while it is still dark.”
I was released quickly, with my weapons returned to me shortly thereafter.


And that's what I have up to now.
Post
#94129
Topic
Starkiller's Fan Fic. Story
Time
Chapter 30: Crisis on Corellia

Bail had a couple details to straighten out with the Corellians, but once that was taken care of, all the data I needed concerning my mission was uploaded to the computer of the Gaea.
I was quickly given clearance and took off. This was going to be my first trip to Corellia, home world of some of the best pilots in the galaxy. It wasn’t long before I was in hyperspace, on my way.
I had no idea what to expect when I arrived at Corellia, or later in the Virgillia system. I decided it was best if I got myself ready for anything.
My trip around the Freedom’s was helpful. In the ship’s armory, I grabbed some stormtrooper armor and a lightweight armor chest plate that looked like it was from snowtrooper armor. I didn’t think I could use the full suit, but I’d have to see what all fit underneath normal clothes. In the engineering area, I found and picked up a multi-pocket vest and some tools. I also was able to find myself a can of black spray-paint. Why someone had spray-paint on the Freedom was beyond me, but I needed it, so I took it.
I slowly began to put on all the equipment I felt I wanted with me. At first, I thought the stormtrooper armor would be the most difficult item to deal with. I initially thought the black body glove and white armor pieces were combined, so it would be an all-or-nothing situation. Then I found that the armor pieces actually just snap to the glove and to each other.
With this in mind, I started to work. The first thing I tried was to use the full suit, minus the helmet, underneath my clothes. This proved far to cumbersome and bulky. After much experimentation, I found that keeping the leg armor and arm armor then removing the hands and feet of the armor would work the best. I also found I needed to cut off a sniper position armor piece from the left knee area of the armor, since it prevented me from sitting. The snowtrooper chest plate, which wasn’t quite as bulky, fit nicely under any shirt I had with me.
After getting the armor in place, I put on the stormtrooper belt, adding to it the holster for my Flash 4 blaster. Next came the engineering vest. I began to fill the pockets with other items I had around the ship: flashlight, utility knife, comlink, extra battery packs, tibanna gas containers, couple clips of Earth ammunition. Last thing I had to do was put on the under-arm-style holster for my Baretta. I didn’t expect I’d need it for this mission, but I wanted to make sure I could be comfortable with everything on.
Once I was satisfied, I took all the equipment off, grabbed the spray-can and proceeded to give the armor a layer of black. Clean white was going to be very easy to see and I didn’t want to alarm anyone with my appearance.
I was going to cut it close. By the time I had waited for the paint to dry, and then decided what I was going to carry when I arrived at Corellia, I had about 10 minutes left until I arrived. I had to dress quickly, and I was strapping on my gun belt at my seat on the cockpit when the Corellian traffic controllers contacted me.
I heard over my communications systems. “This is the Corellia Air Traffic Control System. We have you on our scanners. Our system shows you are the Alderaan Pride, an YT-2400 freighter, due to pick up parts and technical equipment from docking area 436. Is this information correct?”
I responded, “Yes it is. Am I cleared for landing?” I had been registered under a false ship name to reduce the chance of Imperial tracking.
”Affirmative. All is clear for your arrival. Welcome to Corellia.”
I was pleased. It was a far better welcoming than I got on Cloud City.
The trip down was uneventful. There was less traffic than I would have imagined. I suppose that with as long as the Corellians had been flying, they must know how to control traffic to keep it clear.
There were no bumps in the landing. I was really proud of how good I had gotten at flying.
I lowered the ramp and left the ship. A number of people were waiting in the docking area for me to land. I recognized a couple of them from the meeting at Bespin. The one who looked to be in charge was the same one that had stood up for me after I had pulled out the lightsaber. I walked over to him.
“I wanted to thank you for giving me a chance to help.” I said.
He looked at me for a second, then recognized me and replied, “Well, not just anyone would have the guts to pull out a weapon the way you did. Welcome to Corellia. I trust you were completely briefed on this job?”
”Yes I was.” I answered. “I’ve got cargo that I’m carrying from here to Virgillia 7, then a quick transport job from there to Virgillia Prime. Mind if I ask what exactly the cargo is?”
He slowly walked me towards my ship, as if to steer our conversation away from a known listening device.
“These Corellian ports are not terribly secure.” He said as we walked. “The big boxes carry a total of 200 Blastech DL-17 blasters. The smaller boxes contain roughly 3 power packs and 2 tibanna gas refills for each weapon. The Virgillian Aristocracy has…”
I interrupted, knowing the story of the system. “Almost complete control over all ships and blaster technology in the system. By supplying the Free Alignment with weapons, the Rebellion is trying to even out the odds. I studied up on the Virgillian Civil War before I left Alderaan. Bail Organa has been extremely helpful in my getting better acquainted with things off my own home world.”
I watched as, over the next 30 minutes, six large boxes and twelve smaller boxes went up the ramp into my ship. The seventh box was being secured inside when I thought I heard some load noises outside the docking area. It started with some shouting, but that is certainly not where it ended. I jumped and drew as a blaster shot rang out. Assuming the worst, I decided to find a more defensive position than the wide open. I found that my own landing gear would work just fine. Everyone except the two guys loading the weapons seemed to be reacting the same way too.
It was only moments before we came under attack. A squad of 8 stormtroopers came in with guns blazing. The first went down easily as everyone seemed to shoot him at the same time. The rest of the troopers got in and were able to get themselves fairly well protected behind some empty cargo boxes that must have been left there by someone else.
“This was going to end up a stalemate.” I thought to myself. I stopped firing and looked around to see if there was any way to end the fight in our favor. Nothing was coming to mind, beyond simply moving somewhere that might give me a better shot. Then I had it. My YT-2400 had a top hatch similar to the one on the Falcon. If I could get on top of the ship, it would give me a better view, not to mention the advantageous high ground.
Getting to the ramp would prove difficult. I was protected by my ship’s landing gear, but only to a point. I slowly backed away, towards the ramp. When I found myself getting hit in the back by it, I looked for an opening, and then quickly ran around and inside. I have no idea how many times, if any, I may have been shot at, but now I was safe inside. Rather than use the Flash 4 I had at my side, I grabbed the E-11 Blaster Rifle and its glasses-based camera system. I wanted something that would be more accurate. Once I got the first shot off, I was going to be a target.
I soon found that the crates of weapons were being stacked in front of the hatch elevator. I had to weave my way through some and climb over others until I finally made it in. I activated the elevator, then opened 2 hatches and climbed out. I crawled on my hands and knees for a while, not wanting to lose the element of surprise. When I got closer to the edge of the ship, I got down on my belly and crawled the rest of the way.
I had the vantage p
Post
#94127
Topic
Starkiller's Fan Fic. Story
Time
Chapter 29: Where will the Next Adventure Take Me?

The tournament was over and my time at Cloud City was complete. A couple of the rebel leaders had sent messages to my room, expressing an interest in whatever services or goods I could provide to them. They supplied me with communication channels and some other ways of contacting them, as well as other members of their movements.
I decided that the best thing to do would be to try getting a job from the Alderaanians. I knew them and they knew me, so I could get a job that best fit me. I had one small task to take care of before I did so though.
The coordinates I had given Han were for the Sol system…Earth. I wanted to be sure that their defenses were aware that he might be stopping by.
I made the jump back to Earth. I noticed the changes to the hyperdrive, since the trip took a couple hours shorter than my trip 3 weeks ago. Once I was in-system, I started scanning, and quickly found the Earth ISD, sitting about halfway between the Earth/Mars orbit. I quickly established communications with the ship, using a very low frequency, since a signal in the low AM band could be read by Earth, but Imperial technology didn’t even bother with it anymore.
“Gaea to mother. Gaea to mother. Come in mother Earth.” I said into the open channel. I then repeated the message. It was too quiet, and I quickly got nervous. I checked my scanners again. The ISD was intact. There weren’t any new scratches on her, so there hadn’t been a battle, and the current battle scars were a clear indication. I had made some of them.
“Gaea, this is Earth Defensive Ship Freedom. We are receiving you. Welcome home. Ship’s officers have been apprised of your arrival and someone will be waiting to greet you when you dock on board.” The silence was broken and I felt a lot better.
I was soon landing on the main deck of the ISD. As I began lowering the ramp, I could see that it was General Johnson that was waiting for me on deck. Walking down the ramp, I quickly saluted to him and he returned the salute.
“Welcome home. Come, we must talk. So much has happened since you left.” He said.
I was surprised. How much could happen in 15 days?? Then I realized that if a single alien delegate arrived in system, it could be considered exciting. I had been flying around now for close to 4 galactic months, 9 Earth months.
I was escorted from the hangar to the captain’s quarters. As we walked through the ship, what I saw was almost incredible. All the uniforms were the same, but there had to be at least 20-30 different flags on the shoulders of them. There were 20-30 countries contributing military personnel to the effort. It felt really good to know that the peace had held, even if it had only been a month. It was still a step in the right direction.
When we arrived, I found there was a meal waiting for us. We sat and began to eat.
“You have no idea how long it’s been since I had a meal I felt safe biting into. Never knowing if a food was going to be too spicy, too salty, too anything. I’d be lying if I told you I finished every meal I bought. I did learn one very interesting fact, though. Its something I heard once on a sci-fi TV show called Babylon 5. Every race does seem to have its own version of Swedish meatballs. I must have ordered them half a dozen times while I was gone, and all from different restaurants.” I began.
General Johnson just looked at me with a look of bizarre interest on his face.
“So, “ I continued, “what’s been going on here? You said a lot had happened.”
“Yes I did. We’ve had visitors from a number of different planets. Some of them were human, others were not. Let me see.” He produced a small notepad from his shirt pocket. “Alderaan, Sullust, Duro, Chandrila, Yag’Dhul, Bimm. All of them came to see what we had in trade. It’s a good thing that those Rebellion members brought us a couple protocol droids before they left. The language barrier would have been impossible to tackle.”
“And what of Earth? Is the existence of this ship and the rest of the galaxy still hidden from the general populace? I imagine the truth has to come out eventually. People with their small telescopes are going to find this ship.” I asked.
The general had an answer the surprised me somewhat.
“Well, it’s been more than 60 years, and they still don’t know the whole truth about Roswell. This whole thing has been sewn up much better than that was.”
That floored me. I could have asked him what he could tell me, but I decided against getting that discussion started.
We continued to talk for a couple hours. I told him about the tournament, how the timeline seems to be keeping together, made sure to remember about Han. He gave me more details about the work on Earth. The energy weapon technology I had brought from Tatooine had been duplicated, but would be slow to see use. Scientists had already “discovered” the technology needed for advanced fusion power generation. It would be another 6 months of “testing”, and then 6 months of “construction” before the first power generator would be put on the power grid.
The next day, after dinner and a good nights sleep, I made my way to the Freedom’s holonet transceiver and contacted Alderaan. I was greeted by Bail.
Bail started the conversation. “Hello. What can I do for my friend from Earth?”
”Well, actually I was so happy when I got the chance to meet Winter and her friends on Cloud City, and I wanted to see what I could do to help you, if you know what I mean.”
It appeared as though it took him only a split second to understand.
“Ah, I see. Winter’s little trade conference. Well, if your planet would like to open trade with Alderaan, it would be best to setup such an arrangement in person rather than over the holonet. A certain personal touch is best when doing such things.”
He wanted to get off the holonet and remove the possibility of the conversation being tapped into.
“Alright, that sounds fine. I can be there shortly if you have the time for me. By the way, I wanted to thank you for the holonet transceiver. Its come in very handy and I’m sure it will continue to do so for a long time into the future. Good-bye.”
“I should have a clear schedule when you arrive. Good-bye.”
I shut down the transceiver. After letting General Johnson know what was happening, I made a quick trip around the ship to get some things I thought I may need, then I returned to my ship and left. I headed straight for Alderaan. I was ready for an official Rebellion assignment.
As we flew, I wondered what kind of mission it could be. I began to hope for smuggling, escort or maybe an attack mission. I wanted something that could be exciting.
It wasn’t long before I arrived on Alderaan, and my reception was not unlike the first I’d received when I first visited the planet.
“Greetings Bail. It is always a pleasure to visit beautiful Alderaan. And I always get a fine reception when I arrive.”
Bail seemed to chuckle under his breath. Just as before, I was invited to join the Viceroy for some refreshments and I had the chance to share with Bail my experiences on Bespin.
“I heard almost immediately after the meeting about what you did. It was foolish and could have gotten you shot, but it sounded like you were going to end up with trouble anyways. Leaders in the rebellion don’t rise to become leaders, nor do they stay leaders very long if they trust any average person that says they want to join.”
“I understand that completely. I was taking a risk no matter what by attending, what was a little more risk if it meant they would begin to trust me. With that in mind, I was hoping I might be able to perform some work that might help further that trust. Are there any rebellion missions I may be able to either do or participate in?”
Bail began to think. After a few moments,
Post
#93832
Topic
Video Games - a general discussion thread
Time
Originally posted by: Darth Chaltab
Games that need to have a modern update:

Zombies ate my Neigbors

Zelda II, Adventures of Link

Metroid II, Return of Samus

Golden Axe

Kid Icarus

Earthbound
I think that Nintendo should, and I know this would take a while, but they should remake all the previous Zelda games using the OoT game engine. Zelda 2, with its 2 different views, could turn out being difficult to work out, but I've love to play them all that way.
Post
#93872
Topic
The Essentials (films)
Time
My dad works in the communication department at a nearby college, and the communication dept. handles film, art, music, etc. majors.

He has an idea for an elective course not unlike what you're talking about, about learning movie essentials.

It would be a little different every semester.

For example, one semester you would study the humor of the Marx Brothers. The next you might cover the stylings of Alfred Hitchcock. In another semester, you might learn about the massive body of work of Humphrey Bogart. Still another could be the feel-good nature of Frank Capra movies.

I personally think its a great idea.
Post
#93869
Topic
NFL SuperBowl
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: Warbler
Weren't they also trying sell the naming rights of the team?
The what?
You mean Chicago was entertaining the idea of changing the name of their team, for money?

That's horrible!

The Packers/Bears rivalry is the longest running and possibly the strongest in the NFL. It wouldn't be right if they changed their name.

There is only 1 team I would feel ok with changing their name. The Ravens. Why?

Because their name would make so much more sense if they were the Ons.
(Write out or say the full name if you don't get it. Its an old joke here in Cleveland.)
Post
#93840
Topic
Cannot find old Anime topic thread...
Time
I couldn't find the anime thread that was started, but I wanted to let you guys know about something.

I posted once or twice in that thread, asking about a movie I'd seen when I was really little (6-8 years old maybe). Big pillbugs and a little girl or something.

Not that many of you would care, but I think I figured out what it was. Last night I was watching Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, when I saw a commercial for a movie coming to DVD. I thought it looked vaguely familiar, then I saw one of the big pillbug things.

The movie is called Kaze no tani no Naushika, being sold in the US as Nausicaä of the Valley of the Winds. It was made in 1984 and would have been shown here before as Warriors of the Wind.

Does that name ring a bell to anyone?
Post
#93828
Topic
NFL SuperBowl
Time
In Cleveland, we've tried to resist that corporate naming rights stuff.

The football field is Cleveland Browns Stadium.
Our basketball arena is Gund Arena (the owner of the team is/was Gordon Gund).
Our baseball stadium is Jacob's Field (the owner of the Indians at the time was Dick Jacobs).

People are worried, in fact, about what is going to happen with 'the Jake' as we call it, when the naming contract is up. We don't want to see a corporate name go up, but we may end up having no choice in the matter.

Maybe they could do what they did with Lambeau. Instead of naming the field, they sold naming rights to entrance gates. You can enter through the 'Oneida Nation' gate if you want.
Post
#93469
Topic
NFL
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: Bossk
Well, to get back on topic... Jeff Garcia was cut today by the Browns. The article I read mentioned something about a lawsuit he was involved in during this season that brought to light embarrassing facts about his personal life. Anybody have any insight into what that is about?
Well, being in Cleveland, I can tell you what I remember.

1. He hasn't been "cut" yet. The official cut date is in about a week. The Browns have simply announced their intention to cut him.
A minor detail I know, but worth mentioning.

2. There was not a law suit, rather, it was an incident involving his current and ex-girlfriends meeting.
Garcia and his girlfriend, Playmate Carmela DeCesar (sp?) were at a bar in the Cleveland night-spoty, known as the Flats. His ex came in and there was an altercation. As I recall, there was something about a drink being thrown and some martial arts moves, but that's about all I remember.
Carmela was charged with battery or assault or something.

Anyways, some lawyer with dillusions of being the next Johnny Cochran got Jeff on the stand, and started asking him all kinds of personal questions which were not relevant to the case.
(As you may recall, Terrell Owens said Jeff was gay, using the comment that "If it looks like a rat, and smells like a rat, it must be a rat.")
The questions were along that line of questioning.

That is about it. Carmela was found not guilty of the assault, but there was a secondary charge about violating an restraining order that she was guilty of (she got community service).

Which gets me started on another issue: Why can't these people date people their own age? Carmela's 22-23. Jeff is almost 35.
See, now I'm 24. That's perfect...
Post
#93436
Topic
Hilarious!!!
Time
Any of you guys ever use Opera: Bork Edition??

Opera was complaining that the MSN homepage had been carefully written to display wrong on non-IE browsers, and they provided evidence to support it.
When Microsoft didn't back down about it, they decided to have some fun with it. The create the Bork edition.

If you visit ANY other webpage, its fine. If you visit MSN, the page is translated into the language of the Muppet's Swedish Chef.



Sorry the image is so big, its the only one I found where the text was big enough to read.
Post
#93435
Topic
What are you listening to right now?
Time
A running air conditioner, the clicking of keyboards, not much more.

When I get home, I'll hear the soundtrack of Knights of the Old Republic 2 until I'm ready to sleep. Then, I'll turn on a soothing CD my parents got for me years ago called Timeless Seas. It combines oceans waves with a cello and synthesizer. Unless something is really weighing heavily on my mind, it usually gets me to sleep within 30 minutes...at about midnight.
Post
#93095
Topic
Asperger's Syndrome
Time
1. I would not equate such a syndrome with lunacy.

2. That is freakish...
- Dinosaurs were my first thought on a profession, now they are just a hobby.
- Computers are now my prefession.
- I do seem to have an ability to recall trivial data on a number of favorable subjects.
- My social interaction skills leave much to be desired.
- I have a unique sense of humor.

However, I don't create my own echoes or suffer from sensor overloads or depression. I do understand the phrase "Did your dog eat your homework?"

Could be coincidental.
Post
#93021
Topic
Prequels and Superman
Time
Just a quick comment about Superman...
Superman became evil in Superman 3, under the effects of Richard Pryor's manufactured kryptonite.

Not the same as Anakin, but worth noting.

BTW: Chaltab, I'm going to try again to change my avatar. Hopefully, I can get it to work right this time.
...
No luck. I keep getting an error when I try to upload...that the file format isn't valid. Its a 50x50 JPEG taking up about 2.16KB of space.