I like a lot of your ideas, particularly opening Ep1 with the escape from Naboo. If I can throw my two cents out there, I’ve got to say that the opening crawl you’re working with is a little lackluster in comparison to the really interesting things you’re planning on doing in the film proper. I think it has something to do with the phrase “time of foreboding” (I’m paraphrasing, but iirc, that’s what you had written). It’s a bit heavy handed. Like foreboding generally is something you get a sense of when you’re in a particular situation, not something that lasts long enough to call a “time.” Or even if it does last that long (say the decade in Germany prior to the rise of Hitler), putting it in that term, a time of foreboding, still feels stilted. And I don’t feel a sense of urgency from reading the rest of the crawl, either. I’m no poet, and you may not care too much for this, but I just looked back at the OT opening crawls and tried to write something that would set up your characters as they are escaping Naboo in a similar style.
After a thousand generations of peace in the galaxy, the separatist Trade Federation has thrown the might of their dreadful droid army behind an invasion of the peaceful planet Naboo.
During the turmoil, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi managed to rescue Queen Amidala, leader of the Naboo, from the clutches of the certain doom.
Pursued by the separatists, Queen Amidala races to Coruscant to plead for the support of the Galactic Republic. Unbeknownst to all, there are more sinister forces at play…
It’s essentially a mad lib plug and play of A New Hope’s crawl. But one thing that always bugged me about the PT crawls was the lack of pulpy suspense language. They’re all a bit sterile, except for Ep3’s “War!” opening. I kinda think something like this fixes that. Things like “dreadful droid army” sounds a bit kitsch, but so do all the OT crawls.
Anyway, use it, don’t use it, whatevs. I think your project looks hella promising.