EddieDean said:
Thanks, VulgarisMagistralis! I really appreciate this. Have you seen the original show?
You’ve picked out a few of my more radical ideas for this season, so I’m interested to hear others’ thoughts on whether you agree with Vulgaris that I’ve gone too far here. My intention with all of these more broadly was to remove some of that early ‘anthology’ feel and try to have season one feel a bit more cohesive - perhaps I have failed in that and this all feels too fan-edity?
Specific comments:
- On 5, I think this is a necessary evil. The original arc had a very odd structure, where in the first episode the team fail then succeed, becoming “the best team ever”. But then they’re placed on the Rishi moon, which is clearly a lesser posting, but through a few team sacrifices they become Arc Troopers. And then finally they help at Kamino and rejoin the 501st. My intention was to smooth this out - having them fail their training and have the lesser posting at Rishi be a punishment. But THEN, through perserverance and sacrifice, and the success at Kamino, they become Arc Troopers of the 501st in response to all of that. To me, that feels like a smoother three-act structure for them, but I’m interested to know how others feel about how well that lands.
- On 7, this is definitely valid. Mainly I’m doing it to explain her absence in that episode, which I do a few times in season one. To my mind it’s valuable for making the season cohesive, but again, I don’t know. The scene doesn’t work great as an ending, taking away from their victories, but I probably could do it well enough.
- On 8, I think it’s necessary to get Nightsisters going ASAP, since we make Maul the spine of the show. Sure the characters change models, but it’s not unreasonable they they change outfits, is it?
- On 10, that’s interesting. I’d hoped to emphasise two things here: That after learning that the Sith Lord is interested in force-sensitive kids, Ahsoka has taken it upon herself to invest in the future of the force - a role she takes in both Rebels and Mandalorian. And secondly, that clearly (offscreen) Anakin has been teaching her about his adventures (and in this one, he struggles without his lightsaber).
More voices would be appreciated here, if this content is jarring (for the hypothetical first-time viewer) I’ll have to revisit the work.
On this note, I’m not a first time viewer but my partner was. She’s been able to follow the story quite happily and as someone who hadn’t seen the series in a long time I could follow the series in its entirety quite well.
For 5 I didn’t realized you’d reordered the arch like that! and honestly I think it works better this way hahaha
For 7, although it could come in the previous episode it didn’t detract from my viewing it kind of builds a flow between episodes and arch which I much prefer then standalone episodes (like how the original show was)
For 8, the art style change doesn’t bother me and I don’t think my partner noticed. A necessary evil when it comes to this fanedit. To me, this is much like how they project is a mixed art style project anyway.
For 10, I got what you wanted to emphasize Eddie!
I don’t think your season 1 needs much more attention to be honest (unless you want to incorporate tales of the Jedi). After finishing a full viewing of your series I think the mid season (season 3) needs the most attention. A lot of it flows well but there’s a few noticeable edits that could likely be smoothed out with a V2 -> this was more for the Saw Gerrera arch.
