Trident

Hey Leo. Why do you feel that way man?

I think it had something to do with a video I saw with Jay talking about this site. Not sure how I landed there tho?

What? You want pics of things we’ve found? Things that were lost?

I think Alec Guiness was a pretty cool old type

I know what you mean man. Truly.

My last relationship nose-dived just when I needed it most. (Probably because I needed it most, but whatever)

Hope you get back with your girl as soon as. Keep on the side of hope with that. At least you’ve got that window

Handman said:

Good luck, Ash.

Today I thought to myself, if my life hasn’t improved in a year, I’ll probably just off myself finally. Life has been pretty empty.

Yeah. But damn man. You don’t realize how much I like your vibe. I’d miss you for sure. You don’t realize how much you contribute to the stable background of this place. I rely on all of you guys to be here. You know?

So don’t go getting all drastic and stuff. I’m on an edge of my own so I get it? But I’m still trying to get over the last pal I was writing to who decided to take a shortcut.

I still wish I’d done more to make things clear to him. I still wish I’d explained it all better. I wish I’d told him I cared a hell of a lot more than I let on.

But nah. I was too cool for all that.

(But I mean I sure felt that twice when I had to explain to his dad what all happened)

So no. Don’t think too empty and dark. You mean something to people you’ve never even met. It’s a truth.

.

Alright. But just remember we’re here for you if you need it.

We’re sort of built to lean in towards each other like that.

My votes with them. Don’t crack down too hard on yourself man. You’re still a lot stronger than you give yourself credit. I mean look at all the shit you’ve been thru? And yet here you still are. So that’s a proof point right there

Mrebo said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Someone was kind enough to give me a piece of furniture that they didn’t need anymore, but once I moved it into my house I noticed that there were ants everywhere. I hate ants! They’re only on and around this new end table, though. It’s sitting next to a patio door and I’m not sure if the ants were in the table and its drawers to begin with, or if they came in through the door and just happen to be on the table because it’s right next to the door. I can’t believe they’d come from outside since it’s still well below forty degrees out most days. Either way it’s not a huge deal since a quick spray-down of the doorway and table with Raid killed every single one of the things, but I don’t know how they got in. There’s not even anything for them to eat because I keep an obsessively clean house.

Carpenter ants maybe. They burrow inside wood.

Put me down for Carpenter ants. Maybe they weren’t finished building the table

Thanks guys. I’m finally down-shifting a bit. So I might finally get some time to hang on a bit harder.

That is if I ever catch up to you guys again. I mean I’m so far behind reading this site it’s like I’m in a different time-stream 😉

suspiciouscoffee said:

So I’m still getting over my stupid crush (mentioned several pages ago) and I’m still sad and all but it’s… different. This is the first time I’ve ever let myself have a crush on a guy without just forcing myself to repress it and never mention it to anyone ever, so even though things obviously didn’t work out how I wanted, but at least I’m actually allowing myself to process my emotions I guess. For example, I used to cringe, or even get angry, any time I heard the word “crush,” and to be fair, it’s still a stupid word, but I can use it without feeling a wave of terrible anger and embarrassment wash over me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not okay, and that’s okay, because maybe I am okay, or will be okay, if that makes sense.

Man. I hear you. I totally get the angle this comes from. I hope you know you’re not alone. You totally remind me of how things were for me around your age.

I read your posts and they have such a familar echo. It’s like I was back over there. Back living things they way they were before everything fell apart.

So you’re special to me man. I want you to know you give me a sort of hope that a guy could imagine a different life in a way. I mean that a guy could start from the same root, but change paths enough to not fall into the trap I laid out.

Peace.

moviefreakedmind said:

I’m really glad you posted again, Trident.

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I’m really glad you posted again, Trident.

Likewise.

Man thanks guys. Thanks so much for that!

Man. I wish I’d been keeping in closer touch guys. I mean there’s been so much pain here. And so much of it’s relateable too.

You know the internet’s a funny place. Here we are sort of only reaching each other with our finger tips? But seriously if anything happened to any of you guys I’d feel it in a total and strong way. Probably more than if it happened to people closer to my corner.

Maybe it’s because I feel a good and strong connection here? Or maybe it’s because I’ve never been good with people in RL but here we sort of bare our souls in a more real way so it gets closer to me somehow?

I don’t know. I guess this place feels the closest to home for me. Even when I’m away it still feels like I can come back to it in a way I can’t ever really do in RL.

Or something.

Anyway. Peace guys. I hope this coming week’s a better one all round.

Yeah Warb. You’ve got my prayers in this too. I’m so sorry man. I really am.

Peace.

-Trident

I like yhwx. Because he is great at keeping a thread flowing by fast. He’s always got a lot to say. Which is great for a site like this.

Hey Ray! What’s new? I’ve been outside this corner for way too long. Nice to be back.

But man. I’ve got some serious catching-up to do.

Nice to know this thread’s still in use.

I think? 😉

ray_afraid said:

That’s good to hear, Ender!

My thoughts are with your family, Warb.

Yeah. Put me down as praying for you both. I hope it all goes ok.

Mike O said:

Chewtobacca said:

Mike O said:
I just slipped again. This is horrible. I can’t stop. It’s getting worse.

You might try to find some way of limiting your internet access so that you’re not tempted to look at things that distress you. I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to stop yourself from accessing these videos in the same way that someone who is trying to lose weight mustn’t have certain foods in the house. What you have described is almost certainly a form of obsession, but it also sounds like a kind of addiction too, so you have to avoid people, places, and paraphernalia – in other words, anything that might cause you to slip.

I don’t know how to articulate this, but I feel like I CAN’T stop. It’s incredibly stupid, but it feels like some sort of physical compulsion. Like a need. To do something which I know will upset me. It’s so stupid. All of this stuff is old anyway. These arguments-on both sides-have been pretty throughly run through. Hell, I went through them in philosophy classes in school endlessly. I don’t want to think about this anymore!! I outlined my personal spiritual beliefs above. That’s what I think. I went through all of this shit before! I came to these conclusions! It just endlessly circular! I can hear the sneering atheists arguing that I’m attempting to convince myself of something I “know” is “wrong,” but as outlined above, I don’t see it that way. And so what? How does theological debate help me with my day-to-day life? I’d give my soul to the devil to take back the forum posts that caused this whole debacle. I want to be able to watch a television show which depicts or has characters talking about these issues and observe the intellectual distance I did previously. I want to be able to read books and comic again, watch movies again, watch TV again, do things I enjoy again without this literally gnawing away at my mind. But I can’t. It’s horrifying. I can’t stop! I don’t know how to take this to a therapist because I have absolutely no idea what she’ll say! My mother found one, we’re checking if my insurance covers her. She’s well-reviewed. I want to cry, to sob. I’m tired of this. I want it to stop! I want to just go to sleep. Stay asleep so this will stop. It’s so horrible.

I feel your pain man. Please hang in there. Know you’re not alone in this. You’ve got some pals here who care. And you’ve got some good advice so far. But this fight’s a bit higher than you’re ready for. So I’m glad you’ve got your mother’s help in this. Man if mine had been around when I was going off the rails. Holy ****.

But on the side of religion it’s cool to believe in God. It’s a fine thing to want to hope for a future beyond the future end. Have you tried praying your rosary lately? I mean sometimes it was the only thing keeping me from pulling out my own hair. Try some time in adoration or in Church. Quiet time. Alone and in prayer. Ask your mom to bring you to a place like that. A calming place away from computers and phones and screens.

I don’t know what else to say. Just need to flip a switch somewhere in your head. Need to get you into a calmer place. Then maybe the rational can start feeding you again. Wish I could hold you man. Wish I could console you. But all I’ve got is words.

Still. I’ll pray for you. It can’t hurt.

Peace Mike.

-Trident

It is.

Today’s a rough anniversary for me. So if I’m a bit extra special this clock cycle that’s why.

darthrush said:

Trident said:

Mark’s Down On Your Syntax said:

I worry! Good golly I worry! Jeez guys, please look after yourselves.

I can’t even begin to understand your motivations and what it does for you because I don’t drink. I never got a taste for it and none of my family really drink. I’m not anti-booze or morally superior or anything, I just think it’s gross.

I know I’m new to posting here but you lot aren’t new to me! I’ve been reading you for many years and I want you to all be happy because you, with the obvious notable exceptions, seem like good people. I just worry when I hear you talking about doing harmful things when you’ve got the option not to (if that makes sense.)

How about a nice cup of tea instead?!

p.s. Seriously, take care guys.

Glad you don’t drink. I’ve been sober since March 5th. But last weekend I bought 2 Crystal Heads with the idea of crashing and burning. But somehow I stopped short. I didn’t even open them. They’re still sitting in the corner. It’s not that I’m not tempted. It’s more that I hate myself too much to give me such an easy out. I’d rather keep them there. Tormenting me. Wonderful stuff.

Anyway. Don’t drink. Don’t start. It’s hell.

Peace.

-Trident

Shit. I drank a couple of Mikes hard lemonade and got a good buzz before a high school dance we had earlier this year. No headache. No desire to drink again. Just boosted my enjoyment a bit.

Good for you.

Mark’s Down On Your Syntax said:

I worry! Good golly I worry! Jeez guys, please look after yourselves.

I can’t even begin to understand your motivations and what it does for you because I don’t drink. I never got a taste for it and none of my family really drink. I’m not anti-booze or morally superior or anything, I just think it’s gross.

I know I’m new to posting here but you lot aren’t new to me! I’ve been reading you for many years and I want you to all be happy because you, with the obvious notable exceptions, seem like good people. I just worry when I hear you talking about doing harmful things when you’ve got the option not to (if that makes sense.)

How about a nice cup of tea instead?!

p.s. Seriously, take care guys.

Glad you don’t drink. I’ve been sober since March 5th. But last weekend I bought 2 Crystal Heads with the idea of crashing and burning. But somehow I stopped short. I didn’t even open them. They’re still sitting in the corner. It’s not that I’m not tempted. It’s more that I hate myself too much to give me such an easy out. I’d rather keep them there. Tormenting me. Wonderful stuff.

Anyway. Don’t drink. Don’t start. It’s hell.

Peace.

-Trident

Kapushon feat. Victoria Beregoi - Rap ca pe manele

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e05vLnSkiR0

Clicked it by accident. But not bad lol