Tack

NeverarGreat said:

^What the Sith is happening there?

Palpatine trying to seduce Artoo with the allure of lube?

I see!

Well, for the first part, it largely comes from various drafts of the Star Wars screenplays. Chiefly of course is the revised fourth draft, with occasional rearrangements based on how I thought scenes should flow or to roughly match the scene order of the final cut. Then, several scene extensions and setpieces come from the third draft, such as the expanded scenes on Yavin IV or the trash compactor scene. Sometimes I deferred to the continuity script on the Star Wars Aficionado blog for things that weren’t chronicled in any available script draft (mainly small bits of dialogue). Then, certain EU resources came in handy too. The novelization by Alan Dean Foster has a lot of overwrought dialogue but also useful things like scene extensions (the training scene in the Falcon’s main hold, for example). Similarly, small extensions from the radio drama by Brian Daley (whose script I have in book form) were also valuable since in many cases they came from direct consultation with Lucasfilm. However, an even greater bit of the script comes from my own ideas. I’m particularly proud of my expanded Battle of Yavin with the various squad leaders interacting and a more concrete attack plan than any version of the screenplay.

I’m slow at work (because of school and career stuff) on an expanded version of The Empire Strikes Back, with many ideas from early in production re-introduced and the existing plot expanded greatly. I think it’ll be even longer than this one ended up. Already I have most of the first episode of the radio drama with the attack on the Rebel convoy acting as the film’s new inciting incident.

To answer the question on software, it’s a plug-in for Google Docs called Screenplay Formatter. Most of it is done automatically, and you just have to fiddle with it a bit to get things where you want them.

Hope it helps. 😃

CamSMurph said:

What did you use to write this behemoth?

Are you talking about the sources of material or what software?

Perhaps you could use a Janus Films-style vanity card? 😃

I’m not for the idea myself, but I’m reasonably sure he has to have said it at some point during Doctor Zhivago.

That new brief deleted scene of Han and Leia made my night. Seems like they got a lot of coverage of them having run-ins in the hangar and just decided they interrupted the pacing too much. Also, the outtake of the original “double kiss” in color is pretty great to have now.

I have the original Star Wars program book. Beautiful, but with a weird pink fading. Only seems to affect the text.

macesmajored said:

I believe the fault lies with Disney and the make-believe “Lucasfilm Story Group” that they created for not mapping the trilogy and their new expanded canon (at least roughly) as a whole, back in 2012 or 2013 during/after the LFL purchase. It’s primarily Disney’s fault that the new TRILOGY as a whole doesn’t function better.

I get a lot of enjoyment out of the sequel trilogy and Disney canon, but with A LOT of asterisks. IMHO, as messy as TROS is, some of it could have been mitigated in editing (which some fine folks are doing on this very site). The main problems with the core of TROS seem to be with Chris Terrio and J.J. retconning Last Jedi stuff and leaning on fan service as a whole, all the while likely not being able to utilize anything from Trevorrow’s drafts because they would run into Writer’s Guild problems with crediting the story, and as far as I can gather there are massive egos at play with Kathleen Kennedy and J.J… Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Trevorrow leaving the project (maybe fired by Kennedy?) made it pretty “scorched earth” for not using story beats he mapped out. Some of which were pretty great. The new statements from Daisy Ridley and John Boyega really confirm the weak, rushed, scatterbrained production of TROS as well. But all things considered (production time, Trevorrow leaving, and Carrie Fisher’s untimely demise) it really could’ve been A LOT worse. I think (some of) the angrier fans among us don’t really want to acknowledge the factors they were up against, even though J.J. and co. didn’t all rise (pun intended) to the occasion on this film.

I just want to say I really appreciate you giving such a measured take on the situation.

Ed Slushie said:

In Poe’s and Finn’s speech to the Resistance before the final battle, but I would have had Rose say the final line about “taking the war to them.” Because if even Rose is in favor of fighting, you know some s***'s gonna go down.

You. I like you.

Chase Adams said:

^ I’ve been meaning to watch the rebooted versions of those for ages now… But I don’t think I should bother.

They started off with a surprisingly faithful attempt to recapture Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (my personal favorite of the classic sequel films) and ended up straying further and further away from that intent. From what I can tell, Rise of the Planet of the Apes was supposed to end in a manner very similar to the original preview ending for Conquest… And just like Conquest, the ending was softened considerably before the final release.

In before Duracell riffs on that statement.

When Ford and Fisher’s natural mannerisms were allowed to come through in their performances, they were untouchable.

And then ROTJ happens.

That series got exactly what it deserved.

With the Space Battleship Yamato (aka. Star Blazers) having been torn asunder from its creators Yoshinobu Nishizaki and Leiji Matsumoto due to rights issues/death, I’ve considered what a different remake might look like. Yamato 2199 is not a bad series by any stretch, but it feels very clearly like a “modern” remake and I feel the new story additions only clutter the story and draw attention away from the primary players. A good remake, in my mind, should not worry about fans of the source material getting tired of the reinterpretation. Rather, they should make a point to improve the foundations of certain iconic moments to make it an altogether more enriching experience.

To those unfamiliar with the original series, it centers around an interplanetary war in the 23rd Century between Earth and a far-off world named Gamilas. Gamilas’ neighboring plant, Iskandar, sends a message to Earth containing the secrets of a new weapons and propulsion system and promises a secret which could restore Earth to itself. With the threat of extinction looming over them, Earth outfits a ship (the titular Yamato) with the new technology and a crew of elite starpilots including the captain Juzo Okita and the main character Susumu Kodai. Over the course of the journey to Iskandar, they discover the devastating effects of the new technology, and the Gamilan leader (named Dessler) inadvertently uses it to cause his own planet’s downfall.

The series had many sequels between 1977 and 1983, with the cast of the first series returning in various capacities to encounter new threats. The creative staff clearly began to feel fatigue by the end, but at least part of this was the fault of creator/producer Yoshinobu Nishizaki’s strict code of rules. He only ever permitted there to be a handful of female characters, the main love interest Yuki Mori and the alien goddess of the particular story arc. He tried to keep the characters’ personalities as “classically Japanese” as possible, often at the expense of character development (and in a fashion which caused the departure of essential co-creator Leiji Matsumoto). He was notoriously wishy-washy on character deaths, often deciding at the last-minute to kill or spare a main character. The Yamato 2199 remake rectified some issues but exacerbated and created many of its own, including removing the element of the Iskandarian technology as a threatening element and a total overhaul of Gamilas’ motivations and chain of command. The remake of the second series, 2202, messed even more with the base story.

My own remake (which I started adapting as an audio drama) would try to incorporate elements proposed by Matsumoto and other writers during the development of the first two series, and try to turn the story into a cohesive trilogy; one focusing on the war with Gamilas and the voyage to Iskandar, the next being a hybridized reimagining of the second arc (the ‘Comet Empire’ storyline), and a third final series with a largely original plot based on elements of the 1980 film Be Forever Yamato.

Among other things, I would like to diversify the cast from the original series. Juzo Okita would remain the same, a hardened and strict Japanese man, but the rest of the cast would be heavily altered. The main character becomes Jason Kodai, a Japanese-American whose dual parentage resulted in him having a very hot-blooded view of the world behind a wall of insecurity. Daisuke Shima, his best friend, becomes Shane Davison, a character who acts as an anchor to his intense personality. Engineer Sanada would become Santiago, but remain the stoic and logical voice of reason of the crew. Two other characters from the bridge, Yoshikazu Aihara and Yasuo Nanbu, would become Yoshiko Aihara and Yahan Anbu; one a strict Japanese woman playing the role of communications officer, and the other a weapons expert who is very much in over his head as a member of the crew.

The story for each season would diverge from the original but keep the primary elements intact. The biggest changes would center around the role of Dessler. He becomes one of the most interesting villains in animation at a certain point, but in the first series he is by and large far less interesting. Matsumoto’s plans (and his comic adaptation) paint the entirety of Gamilan culture in a far more nuanced and intriguing manner, and early story ideas for the inner circle contain characters unfortunately not included in the eventual TV series. Not to mention, Dessler’s concubine Mela and daughter Jura, two telepaths who wage a psychic war on the Yamato and its crew and who segue into perhaps my biggest initial change…

Yuki Mori (Nova in my version) is a character who no writer seemed completely confident writing. She seemed a very confident and capable woman in the first series, and then slowly (due to the influence of Nishizaki) became a Japanese stereotype of the perfect woman. Moreover, Matsumoto and other authors seemed to always be hinting that she was more than she seemed, though no series ever followed through on that. In my version, she would be much more than she seemed; a telepath and empath who had been forced to conceal her talents until her tenure on Yamato, and whose abilities would play not only into a war with Mela during the Gamilas War, but into each further arc as she steadily became the confident woman Matsumoto envisioned her as.

I never fully planned out my changes to the third arc, though I did have the first and second lined out rather extensively. Given the time to edit them, I’d be happy to post them here.

Yes I am! I’m actually going to go more and more radical with each film, incorporating elements from different stages in each film’s development. I’m currently about forty pages into ESB.

This is an idea that has worked in other fiction. In ‘Gundam: The Origin’, Char Aznable and Casval Deikun were two separate (and similar-looking) soldiers in the Zeon army, but Casval took Char’s name as his own early in the war after a failed coup.

I recall that one early fan rewrite actually used this twist to some effectiveness. I would like to see another version of the story which includes this idea.

I actually started this around Christmas, but had more time with the quarantine to be able to finish it. What this is is a version of the screenplay for the original Star Wars, reordered and extended with elements of the third, fourth, and revised fourth drafts, as well as sequences from the novelization and radio drama (and my own imagination). What I think this represents is what Star Wars might have been if allowed to be every bit as epic as Lucas had first imagined it. It takes the structure of the final film (scene order and all), but the events are shown in far more detail. I’m pleased with how it turned out, and I hope you all enjoy it too.

You can find it here.

Hope you enjoy! And May the (Belated) Fourth be with You!

I don’t know if anyone else has made this observation, but I just realized it upon another viewing.

In ‘Solo’, when on Kessel, many people have caught on to the fact that the “Calrissian Chronicles” recordings that Lando is making are referencing the old Brian Daley Han Solo trilogy. That on its own is rather amusing, but I think there may be a deeper level to the joke.

Unless I’m mistaken, part of the concept behind the Legends rebranding is that they’re stories that exist AS stories within the universe. Combine that with the idea that Han Solo was a pop-culture hero in-universe and…

I’m reasonably certain there was a meta joke being made about the Daley Han Solo novels actually being stories of Lando that Han has gone and substituted his and Chewie’s names into.

Has anyone been checking EC Henry’s (Aalenfae) videos about revitalizing old kitbash background ships into more cohesive designs?

The ones from ESB are interesting, since most didn’t exist besides the initial opening shot of the fleet (and are absent from the additional 35mm shots). He still has so far only tackled two from ESB and four from ROTJ, but the ESB ones are so cobbled together that they actually put some of the hero ships to shame in terms of ugly realism. In trying to search for any information on the other ships (and there are almost half a dozen), I found only this one: http://www.modelermagic.com/?p=111230

There are other very interesting shapes in the film shot and a couple of press kit composites, including one flying wing design that reminds me of a primordial B-wing.

SilverWook said:

Holy Bantha Poodoo! I never picked up on that before. 😮

Another deliberate creative decision I’m sure…

What’s extra funny about this is that it was a fix back in 1977. In Making of Star Wars, there’s a shot of Williams at the podium, and an early composite of that same shot from the approach except Yavin has actually been composited in. They obviously removed it for logistical reasons back then.

Well, thank you for that correction, ATMachine! Reading through it now.

Edit: You will all love this post. Links to scans of physical copies of most major script drafts. I’ve already saved everything. https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsCantina/comments/afvlzk/links_to_every_scanned_star_wars_screenplay_that/

SilverWook said:

Wow, never noticed him in ESB. As Leia seems to be using the Captain is the last man to abandon ship protocol on Hoth, I could see other rebel leaders waiting until the last ship goes out even though that increases the chances of not escaping. I once read someplace that Rieekan was supposed to have died in ESB, (which left Leia running things when Han shows up to get her) but was that ever filmed?

It is in the fourth draft (which seems to be what filming started with), but no telling if it was filmed or survived to the (regrettably unsurfaced) fifth draft. The Making of ESB seems to outline a few differences, namely a couple of Cloud City scenes that seem to have been filmed but later cut for budgetary reasons (it would have been shots requiring matte paintings and opticals).

As Rieekan dying takes place when the command center gets hit, it seems like that scene would have been cut from the schedule due to how much more difficult it may have been to actually wreck the set on camera, rather than redress it to look destroyed. I can’t imagine they would have filmed something like that and cut it. The script didn’t change much aside from cutting out a part when Han and Leia acknowledge his death.

The same (semi)recently happened with Willard in the newer Marvel series. It could actually be that Lucas was saving them, considering Rieekan pretty explicitly dies in the original scripts. I don’t recall the name showing up during the development of ROTJ, though…

Since Lucas toyed with having an attack on Yavin being a part of ESB’s story, it’s possible the idea of the Rebels suffering some major losses (ala the Hope Dies story arc) was in his mind at a certain point. I have a feeling some of the higher-ups from Star Wars being dispatched in the meantime might have been something Lucasfilm allowed at the time as a way to fill in blanks once the characters went nowhere. I have a feeling Veers would have shown up if the Marvel adaptation hadn’t labored under the assumption of him being dead (even though he showed up in ROTJ’s early drafts- that would have been fun to explain).

It’s also worth noting that earlier versions of the crawl actually did correctly state that Leia was the one in charge…

Do you think Willard and Dodonna were written out of the film for ease of casting or some other reason? Lucas immediately changes their roles over to Riekaan once he gets the chance. Brackett’s version definitely fits with the pre-EU notion that Willard was actually the one in charge of that Rebel cell.

Is there any chance that this concept influenced the character of Black Hole from the Russ Manning daily strips?