SpenceEdit

krausfadr said:

This is as smooth as baby Yoda’s butt.

Is… is that smooth?

Fixed! Can you, uh, remove mention of that in your comment please?

I’m trying out something for that musical transition in the duel.

(sidenote: There will likely be a V3 of this, but with less major changes. So I won’t release that until I’m 100% confident in what I have. I would like for V3 to be the last version.)

The problem with this is that the first part of the duel takes place away from the rocky area, then it cuts to Reva on Tattooine, then back to the duel where they are now in the rocky area. So removing the Reva scene kind of eliminates a smooth and sensible transition to the rocky area.

My goal so far has been to have the motion of the scene basically fool you into thinking they’ve naturally moved into the rocky area, but the audio transition has been incredibly difficult to get right, and it’s not been entirely successful.

So I tried something a bit different. I did end up cutting a bit more of the duel, but the major element missing is just Kenobi rolling around on the ground, so no great loss. I think extended the audio through until it goes silent on a major beat in the action, then kicks back in when Kenobi tries to knock the large rock onto Vader. I think this works a lot smoother than what I’ve had so far. Please take a look and let me know what you think!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17k9rTuK3drz6yIY9jNjvG83f0GmJOW4u/view?usp=sharing

nmxuci5970 said:

SpenceEdit said:
What is the change you are suggesting?

I’m suggesting that we can have the lab scene short where Ben enters the lab and after the chemicals explode he exits the lab on daily I and encounters bounty hunters who are wanting to squeeze on him.

I think I get it, you’re suggesting that I remove when Kenobi causes the chemical explosion in the lab. That’s actually a good idea. It’s not needed and would cut a minute off the runtime.

nmxuci5970 said:

I mean the lab scene brings a bit of chemistry.

What is the change you are suggesting?

nmxuci5970 said:

I watched the edit and I would say that this a V2 improved edition we were looking for but the one thing that I would keep is obi-wan dressed in a lab coat while he’s inside the lab on faith since it’s brings a bit of chemistry into this when he adds two or more reactants the bottle with the soluble water and the reactant starts to fizz up and cause a chemical reaction. This is in a scientific point of view.

Sorry, I don’t think I’m sure what you mean? I didn’t remove anything from the lab scene.

tampopo said:

• The scene where Haja sees Obi Wan’s bounty could replace the scene where Obi Wan sees the bounty. The substitution would ground the threat with a character we know & know to be untrustworthy, add tension because Obi Wan is unaware, explain how Haja appeared out of nowhere, and keep the pace up.
• Some scenes with Tala (hiding outside in in the village) should be reinstated, as the plan explaining the transport was less clear. Additionally, with less padding (e.g. the stormtrooper inspection) the time of day more noticeably shifts to night – would there be a way to play with the lighting?
• Roken feels dropped-in, especially given his later importance. His introductory scene is important to detailing The Path & who he is in it, and has some salvageable moments – maybe cut after Obi Wan’s plea, show Roken looking conflicted, and then immediately cut to them planning their break-in.
• If there is a way to cut around Reva parrying the speeder bolts, that would be great
• Qui-Gon disappears from the narrative before suddenly reappearing. Maybe reinstating some of Obi Wan talking to his lightsaber (e.g. somewhere by the evasive maneuvers) could smooth this out
• The location & music transition from the duel in the open to the duel among the rocks is fairly noticeable
• Maybe reinstate the establishing shot where Obi Wan’s ship flies to Tatooine

Either way, very impressed with this edit, especially the quick turnaround on it

1. I honestly just don’t agree on the Haja scene. I would rather establish that Kenobi knows about the bounty, and save Haja as a surprise. It makes logical sense that if we saw a ton of people receive the bounty, he saw it too.

2. Again, not real worried about “the plan” stuff, as she almost immediately explains that the path “all leads to Jabim” and shows them the tunnel. It’s pretty clear what they’re doing. The lighting thing is a good point, but also something that happens naturally in the episode itself. I’ll take a look at the prior scenes that are outside.

3. The Roken introduction was something I wrestled with. Personally I think it works as is, but if the general consensus is it needs to go back in then I’ll probably do it.

4. There isn’t a particularly smooth way to do that, and it’s not something that bothers me.

5. Yeah I did notice Qui-Gon doesn’t really come up again. At this point, I don’t really remember what was cut. I wouldn’t mind one more mention of him being reinstated.

6. I tried that transition probably 20 different ways, and that was as smooth as I could get it. I might be able to further tweak the audio, but there isn’t anything else to cut to.

7. I don’t personally feel that this is needed.

Thank you for the detailed feedback, I’ll definitely take it all under advisement!

SteamPirate said:

I was able to trim out all the overlays and make a fairly clean version using this new source. Also added back in the side monitor video feed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-HnufUthIM

This is amazing! Big thank you for this.

I live in FL, and I was actually at the “Last Tour to Endor” event when they closed the ride. Definitely brings back some memories!

V2 is done and uploaded!

Alright, V2 should be ready tomorrow. Considering the runtime has only gone up by 2 minutes, there’s some considerable differences.

I’d consider V1 as “trying to fit all this stuff in with only two and a half hours” and for the most part, I think it succeeds. I found the story and got it to fit with a decent flow.

V2 is “take V1 and crank up the characters”. There’s more of Leia and Kenobi’s relationship, and more focus for all the other players while also streamlining things significantly. The pace is a little slower, but I think everything works a little bit better. It’s definitely a stronger version of the overall story, or at the very least the arcs of the characters. There were a few plot logic gaps that I’ve been able to fill in, and some other little tricks that occurred to me late in the game (as often happens to me. I always get my cool little ideas when I’m metaphorically bashing my head against the wall).

A lot of the feedback on here brought along these changes, so thanks to everyone for chiming in!

If you want V2, send me a PM and I’ll get it to you once it’s uploaded.

So here is where I’m at with V2. I wanted to keep the length between 2:20 and 2:25 still so it still resembles a real Star Wars movie that could be released in theaters. I’ve made quite a few changes, but I’ve still only increased the runtime by 2 minutes. It now sits right at 2:23 (was 2:21).

• Added back in a portion of the scene with Leia running through the woods. This introduces us to Lola earlier on, and also gives us a little of her personality from the beginning.
• Trimmed the scene on the landing platform when her cousin arrives, it now just cuts after Bail’s last line.
• Removed the second half of Leia roasting her cousin. It’s cute, but it kind of bothered me that she destroyed him so eloquently as a 10 years old. The “lower lifeform” line now appears to be enough to offend him.
• Removed the first scene of Leia on the kidnapper’s ship, and replaced it with the one where Lola tries to help her escape and gets damaged.
• Removed the scene of Obi-Wan digging up his saber and Reva being revealed to be behind the kidnapping. I decided we could find that out when Kenobi does.
• Added back in the little fight scene before Kenobi rescues Leia, so he has a reason to be bleeding for the next scene.
• I didn’t add in Reva explicitly stating to put a bounty on Kenobi, but Kenobi does see the bounty hunters receiving his image. It can easily be assumed that this is part of the GI putting the planet on lockdown, and fills in the logic gap of why Haja suddenly recognizes Kenobi.
• Added a few shots of Reva on the rooftop before Haja shoots the bounty hunter, just to establish the geography and show that she’s up there.
• Removed the second half of the conversation about Leia reminding Kenobi of someone. It now ends with “I’m not stubborn!” “Yes you are”
• Added back in Kenobi fixing Lola and explaining how the Force works.
• Removed Reva’s scene with the other Inquisitors where she explains she spoke to Lord Vader. I’ve already removed most of the competition between the Inquisitors, so I decided to go all in.
• Added back in the scene on the bus with the Stormtroopers, with a few trims.
• Removed the bit of Obi-Wan reading the message about “The Way” in the hideout. I don’t think it adds much, and he has that nice moment with the sabers and cloaks on Jabim that sort of accomplishes the same thing. The scene flows better without it.
• Some trims to the end of the fortress escape to make Wade’s death not as big a moment, as we don’t really know who he is. There’s still a reaction to it, but it’s not made to be as important.
• Cut Obi-Wan’s line to Owen about how Owen and Beru are the only protection Luke needs, as that feels like it directly relates to the cut scenes with Reva.
• Fixed the “Circle In” transition into the end credits.
• Removed Ian McDiarmid from the credits.

This updated version will probably be ready to go in the next couple of days, once I nail down the audio.

Sounds cool! How did you solve the logic gap of Vader/Reva finding them on Jabim without the tracker?

regularjoe said:

To me it seems kinda weird that OWK brings a toy for Luke but how did he get it?
I suppose one could say he went to a store in Mos Espa/Eisley/Anchorhead/where ever but I think the Teeka scene needs to be back in there. It would slow down the pace of your story a bit, just seems weird to me that a hermit literally living in a cave has a toy laying around.

Yeah, that personally doesn’t bother me. I don’t need the origin story of a toy he bought for Luke.

Thanks to those who have left feedback! I’m going to take it all under consideration and start working on a V2 of this next week.

Josanael said:

Hey Spence, I finished viewing your edit today and am very very pleased with the result. 😃 Overall the pacing was just enormously better, the movie felt more dynamic and action packed. For me it was just the right amount and mixture of faster scences and a little breathing room in between. Definitely my go to viewing experience for now, if I want to see the story of Obi-Wan again! Great work!

The highlights:

• Your work on the first duel of Vader and Obi-Wan did wonders! No more awkwardly standing around and running away – just a scary chasing situation. It felt much better introducing Vader with the over voice and Obi-Wan frantically looking back and forth. Also the ending of the fight felt a lot more tightly knit, with Tala only firing once, blowing everything up and rescuing Obi-Wan directly, without having this awkward lying around in arm’s length distance to Vader (at least it felt like that for me in the series).
• The worst offenders of the Empire acting too slow or outright dumb are gone. This includes the above mentioned rescue of Obi-Wan from Mapuzo, but even more so the fortress infiltration from Obi-Wan and Tala. Just cutting the scene how Tala somehow convinced the imperial guard to let her in, did wonders on that regard. Now it can just be assumed that she somehow cleverly got entrance and not that some imperial just wasn’t that good at his job. I’m still no fan of Obi-Wan hiding Leia under his trenchcoat, but without having to see the Empire fail a few more times before that, it didn’t feel as bad as in the series.
• Not showing Anakin’s face until the final battle felt great! The bacta scene was a nice little build up, but not having Anakin show up once and again gave the broken helmet scene more oomph in my opinion. In the series they probably felt like they have to give the fans something on the way to the finale, but within a 2 hour movie it felt alright to only reveal Anakin’s face once.
• In the same vein I felt that Reva’s character arc improved massively from not showing the youngling scenes as early as in the series. Her ‚twist‘ really felt underwhelming in the series, since it was so obvious from the beginning, that she was one of the shown younglings – you fixed it quite elegantly. I didn’t mind her final scenes with Luke on Tatooine in the series, but I never felt like they were needed in your edit to complete Reva’s arc.
• Somehow: the soundtrack! I know you said there were only a few additions throughout your edit, but maybe it needed only those few additional music pieces that elevated my feeling for the soundtrack altogether. Or it was the much improved pacing and cutting of the more unremarkable scenes – with maybe more unremarkable music – that made me feel like: wow, this movie has a great soundtrack! After being disappointed with the soundtrack in the series, your edit gave me a whole new listening perspective!
• Last but not least everything was pulled off totally flawless from a technical standpoint. Not once did it feel like a fanedit to me – really great work there!

The things I stumbled upon:

• Since you cutted the rooftop chase sequence and the bounty on Obi-Wan on Daiyu, it felt a little sudden and unexplained, that Haja knew Obi-Wan’s name and that he was a Jedi. I understand that having Haja seeing Obi-Wan using the force in rescuing Leia would be too much, since it would basically mean to reinstate the whole rooftop sequence. But maybe Reva’s overvoice of the bounty scene could be used to make it more clearer, that Haja learned about Obi-Wan from the news? She says: ‘I want every low life and criminal on the planet to know Kenobi is here.’ Since Haja is said low life or criminal, it would seem like a perfectly fine explanation to me.
• When Obi-Wan and Leia ride with Freck, it felt a little off when Leia accused Obi-Wan of keeping secrets ‘the whole time I’ve known you’. Because we don’t see the conversation with the stormtroopers before, it’s not clear where she’s coming from and also ‘the whole time’ feels not very long at that point, due to the tighter pacing of the movie. I wouldn’t necessarily vote for reinstating the stormtrooper sequence, since it paints the empire as kind of dumb again, but something felt missing for me in the build up of the ‘are you my father’ talk.
• The one time the movie did feel a little bit rushed for me was the transition from Vader’s last ‘Obi-Wan’ scream after their duel to the happy family gathering on Alderaan. For me it would have needed just a few more seconds to linger on after the duel, to give it a little more breathing room.
• Cutting the whole Reva/Luke sequence on Tatooine felt great in terms of pacing and her story arc. But without this sequence the conversation between Obi-Wan and Owen felt a little bit out of context. Obi-Wan makes the point, that Owen and Beru can obviously take care of Luke, but for me this felt like a reference to them defending Luke against Reva. You could make a point, that after his experience with Leia, it might make sense for Obi-Wan to come to the conclusion, that Luke and Leia are really best hidden in their new families and him wanting to train Luke would contradict that. Still, it felt weird after this whole kidnapping story, that without further proof he would just trust Owen and Beru more now. And for Owen it felt equally weird, that he offers Obi-Wan to meet Luke. The last time we saw him was at the beginning of the movie, for him nothing really changed. Maybe he has a moment of appreciation, that Obi-Wan trusts him now (although that trust is not really earned on screen), but I don’t know. Wouldn’t he want to wait, if Obi-Wan really stays true to his words? Maybe it’s just in my head and for other it makes total sensee, that those two have a moment of appreciation for each other. I just stumbled upon it when watching.

If there’s ever a version 2 I would be happy to watch it again, but even now it’s just a fun ride overall watching your edit. Thanks for the hard work, much appreciated! 😃

Thanks for the feedback! The thing with Raja is a little off, I know. But my options were either add 10 minutes to the movie just to explain it, disjointedly explain it by trimming a bunch of stuff down to a few minutes, or we can just assume he figured it out while Kenobi was rescuing Leia and the GI put out a lockdown for a known Jedi. With no perfect options, I went with the shortest one.

regularjoe said:

I smiled like a crazy old man when I saw those logos.

I’ve made it a rule from now on that any SW fanedit I do is going to have the 20th Century Fox logo and the old LFL logo. It just makes it feel like Star Wars.

Darth Muffy said:

I read your comment about keeping the fortress in and how you feel it felt like something big was missing when left out but surely completely removing it will also remove the many issues that episode had? 🤔

Getting your edit at the mo so will comment here more once watched. 😁👍

In my opinion, losing that scene loses a lot of interesting character development for Obi-Wan, and also loses a lot for Tala, Roken, etc. The rest of the story doesn’t really work without it.

I look at my edits more from a storytelling perspective vs a “cut things I don’t like” perspective. If cutting something I don’t like actively harms the story, then I keep it. If that makes sense.

Super cool poster ArtisDead created for this:

https://forums.fanedit.org/attachments/spob6a-jpg.2026

Dat_SW_Guy said:

This seems to be a very straightfoward edit, essentially following the story in the most linear and effecient form possible (in my opinion atleast!) without the added fluff that dragged it out for 6 episodes, which is really nice and what I wanted. Is it alright if I can ask for a link to this?

PM sent

The fixed version is available now.

To everyone who messaged me: So for some reason it came out looking too bright. I’m fixing it and will have an updated one rendered overnight and posted tomorrow. If you’re still waiting on a link, that’s why you haven’t gotten one yet.

If you already got a link, the edit is exactly the same so you can just watch that one and maybe crank the brightness down on your TV? Or I’ll send you a new link tomorrow.

Sorry about that, it didn’t look as bright on my PC screen as it does on my TV.

So my first version of this turned out better than anticipated. It’s “show it to people” ready, I think.

Message me if you want to check it out.

Octorox said:

This looks really similar to what I was hoping to do with the series (Although it sounds like I liked it more than you overall). Unfortunate that you had to cut the duel flashback though, because I think it informs Vader’s actions in Episodes 5 and 6. Without that illustration of Anakin’s impatience, especially around Kenobi, he just seems like he’s making stupid mistakes. The flashback gives it an emotional underpinning.

I think that’s conveyed enough in Kenobi’s “all he will see is me” dialogue with Reva. Either way, the flashback is cool in the series but stops a movie dead.

RogueLeader said:

Spence, I think it is cool that you managed to keep the whole series basically, but just trimmed it down to a decent movie length.

I think you should stick with what you have as-is, but it might be worth looking at interviews with the guy who wrote the film screenplay the series expanded upon if you haven’t already. For example, Reva dying was something that happened in his script, but it seems like the rescue from Fortress Inquisitorius wasn’t a part of the original story, nor did any other Inquisitor feature beyond Reva.

Anyway, sounds like you basically have it done, so I wouldn’t spend too much more time on it (especially since you were also pretty dissatisfied with the show anyway).

I read that too. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible to completely remove the fortress rescue without it feeling very disjointed. I took a crack at it and wasn’t happy with it. I think Kenobi getting his powers back up to snuff during that sequence is really important, as is some of the Tala stuff.

Ideally, and what was probably the case in the movie script, is that he would only rescue Leia once. The way everything is laid out in the show, I don’t think you can satisfactorily do that.

Hal 9000 said:

Sounds like a good time.

I do wonder if you have any thoughts about one particular moment, being when Ben tells Leia she reminds him of someone in Ep2. I think removing drawing a line to Padme allows the audience to assume he means Anakin, which feels more germane to what happens next.

Yes, it also smooths continuity with my own fan edit of ROTS, of course. Just wondering.

Personally, I don’t really care who he alludes to, but I do think it’s kind of nice that she reminds him of Padme. I could go either way on it.

The other issue is a structural one: I need that scene to not be shorter to give Reva time to get there, based on how I’ve cut the previous scenes.