Dek Rollins said:
I would never date a drinker. Since you mentioned she doesn’t feel the same way as you, I assume you’ve spoken to her about your concerns? As someone who hasn’t gone on a date in his life as of yet, I can’t give real relationship advice, but I will say this. I don’t think your feelings on alcohol are a flaw of yours. If you hate alcohol because of your experiences with an alcoholic father, that’s a completely understandable and valid reason to feel that way. She should be able to understand that at the very least, even if she doesn’t think she’ll develop a problem. Your concern is realistic.
That said, I wouldn’t know the first thing about resolving this kind of problem. If I could help it I would never let myself get into a situation like this, but if I did, I don’t know what I could do other than ask her to stop. I’m definitely not saying you should do this, but if it were me and she chose alcohol over me, I’d probably walk away from the relationship.
I hope things work out for you.
Thank you for the elaborate response, I really appreciate feeling heard and having my views agreed with.
She knows of my immense distaste for alcohol, we have a very honest relationship, I’ve told her that I don’t like that she drinks before and she understands my views. I just feel as if I’m skirting dangerously close to being the controlling type. I don’t want to basically ban her from drinking, we’re only teenagers, it’s not like we live together and it effects our household or careers. She only really drinks socially too, when she’s out with friends, it’s not like she’s dependent on it. It’s normal for her to want to drink, basically every one of my friends has and enjoys it, it’s me who’s the outlier.
She’s never asked me to stop doing something, so I just feel like a nagging boyfriend who takes things too seriously, doing things such as writing ranting posts about it on a forum made for Star Wars discussions, which annoys me as much if not more than her actual drinking.