DuracellEnergizer

TIMELINE-0

PODD (POINT OF DIVERGENCE DATE)

July 12, 1979

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS

Timeline-0 is a world where Disco Demolition Night never occurred, allowing mainstream music to fail much faster than it did in our timeline, leading the entire Earth to fall under the heel of a brutal theocracy controlled by the mainstream music industry.

Anyone who doesn’t conform to the “ideal” ideals of this regime is arrested by the Bieber Clone Corps and sent to “re-education” centres, where they are forced to listen to awful mainstream music and watch awful mainsteam music videos until they revert to an unquestioning drone state.

FINAL NOTES

Don’t blame the Turtle for this timeline’s existence; he had an upset stomache.

As the title says, this is a guidebook to all the myriad timelines which lie parallel to our own.

I know you all have answers, and I have anticipated some of them, so I've written up an IAQ (Infrequently Asked Questions) for your reading pleasure.

===

What is a timeline?

A timeline is a subset of the universe, and contains all moments in the past, present, and future together in one place. But there are, of course, other timelines, so there are also other pasts, presents, and futures.

What in the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks does that mean?

There's more than one timeline, so there's more than one version of the past, present, and future.

Give it to me in American, asshole

Timelines = parallel universes. Happy now, dipshit?

Yes

*sigh*

How many timelines are there?

There are as many timelines as there are possibilities.

Well, how many possibilities are there?

As many as the laws of physics allow.

American, dumbass, remember?

Nearly infinite (you ethnocentric bastard ...)

Are the timelines all the same?

What did I just say about infinite possibilities, you putzless schmuck?

Putzless?! Schmuck?! I don't know French! Give it to me in American, you cheese-eating surrender monkey!!!

It's ENGLISH, you illiterate Twittering twat! ENGLISH! You got that!? The language is called ENGLISH, after ENGLAND, the land of the ENGLISH, where the goddamn language comes from!!!!!!!!!

AMERICAN!!! AMERICAN!!! AMERICAN!!! AMERICAN!!!

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*door breaks down*

*machine gun fires*

*window shatters*

*man screams as he falls through broken window*

*man splatters on the hard pavement below*

*woman screams*

*DuracellEnergizer laughs maniacally*

thejediknighthusezni said:

Anyway, The Trinity, if it exists, is omniscient with respect to THIS Universe. It may be "omnipotent" with respect to our "reality".

Are you suggesting that Elohim is only a god -- and not the God -- when it comes to the greater multiverse?

Bingowings said:

I used to be alive...now I'm a meal.

You used to be a meal ... now you're plaque, tartar, and something far less mentionable!

That's not Jar Jar. That's what you get when you get Jar Jar and Boss Nass drunk and leave them alone in a room together.

Used pieces of toilet paper covered with dried-up pimple blood and black mould.

I remember my mother telling me she was already dead, and that was back in 1996.

Lately, I've started to see myself less an agnostic and more an agnostic maltheist -- ie. someone who suspects (but isn't sure) that the universe is ruled by an evil, demiurgic god of madness and chaos.

I still hold out hope that there's a completely transcendant, benevolent Deity out there somewhere, though.

Generalfrevious needs to embrace absurdism; it makes the cruelties of existence easier to swallow if one recognizes them as the jokes they are.

I wish this was a real comic book.

I wish I had some movie posters (wish I had some posters, period).

TV's Frink said:

You guys can live with the Greedo change?  Go sell that crazy somewhere else.

I can live with it the same way I've had to live with sciatica -- uncomfortably, and sometimes with excruciatingly debilitating pain.

danilko1 said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

The gist of this is limited, to those who know what you mean. Surely i know Johnny Depp, but never cared for slice and dice films.

Who cares what film it's from? He's waving his arms around with a goofy expression on his face, and that's all that matters.

Turkish Ric

And I suggest using this as your avatar to go with the new name

DominicCobb said:

Yeah Blu-rays are at least 200% better.

But I can't plug myself directly into them, can't smell, taste, or feel what the characters can, or view them in all the wavelengths of the electromagnetic spectrum, now, can I?

danilko1 said:

I pretty much think cannon should be the books as the encompass the intended original saga, minus Metachlorians. Since I haven't read the books, I have no idea what I am talking about.

TV's Frink said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

skyjedi2005 said:

People still buy DVD's?

I haven't the budget to get anything better. Besides, I'm satisfied with DVD-quality definition -- I don't need anything better.

 Your first reason is legit, your second is insane.

Yeah, I know -- it's so much saner to have an insatiable addiction for each shiny new gimmick that comes along.

I'd rather see Eric Forman removed from Spider-Man 3 than Sandman.

generalfrevious said:

Had the fourth pro-life sermon in a row at church today. It makes me very upset.   Under the Catholic church, abortion is never permissible, and you cannot be Catholic and be pro-choice at the same time. If you don't act to end abortion in my country (US), you will go to hell. There are no gray areas in this debate for catholics; even contraception is a sin, so you can have sex only in the most narrow definition, and that to have children only. According to Christianity, society must conform to the church, and any disagreement with the church catechism is disagreeing with God. So I have to either to reject the religion I was born with, or blindly accept all dogma regardless of how I feel about.

And all this time I thought Christianity consisted of a large number of different denominations, each with members holding to varying theological, philosophical, political, etc. points of view ...

danilko1 said:

I have been thinking. Maybe create my own version, to reflect what I remember.

Any thoughts on that? Is it a bad idea?

 I say go for it. After all, it wouldn't hurt any.

Jetrell Fo said:

Just goes to show, Moth3r don't play dat, no glove ... no love.

:)

 Did you just ... quote Highlander III?

The Terminator did strike me as a rather dim fellow, and with the creation of this thread, I suspected it would only be a matter of time before he got himself banned.

The King of Kings (1927) - 8/10

Friday the 13th (1980) - 7.5/10

Tobar said:

"In a galaxy far, far away...."

In my backstory, the Terrans who colonized the Known Regions got there by passing through a wormhole which sent them hurtling through time as well as space.

So, from a certain point of view, it's still a galaxy far, far away (far away in time). 

imperialscum said:

This reminds me that one thing I hate the most about EU is unknown region. The size and location is just ridiculous.

Which is why I swapped them around =P