DuracellEnergizer

David Duchovny

Oh, wait ... I posted this in the wrong thread, didn't I? At least I think I did ...

Using his powers of surreality,

Black Lodge. Immediately, without warning

I wonder what kind of pizza the EU would be. Probably one that's had two-thirds of it's surface garnished with cat vomit.   

But my previous comment doesn't really fit in any of those threads, thus you are foiled. >=D

With great fanfare, David Lynch

I once saw a drawing of the Enterprise anthropomorphized into a beautiful woman online. I'd post it here, but since it's NSFW (with bare breasts and exposed camel toe), I probably can't.

In my canon, different Jedi hold to different beliefs when it comes to theism; some are theists (monotheists, polytheists, pantheists, etc.) and some aren't.

In Ben's case, he's an agnostic theist -- ie. he believes in an intelligent higher power, but he doesn't know what that higher power is; it could be the Force or it could be something else entirely.

As for Nemec's comment, it's more a comment on religious conflict between lovers than on Ben's particular beliefs. 

I think I'm more defensive of Leia's red lightsaber than anything else from the EU.

The list of non-favourite actors I like

http://www.imdb.com/list/ls071871335/

is longer than the list of actors I hate

http://www.imdb.com/list/ls073080983/

Yes, I'm as surprised by this as you are.

Ah, classic Simpsons. It has a suitable quote for every aspect of life.

became infected, swelled up and

Christopher Lee said:

My apologies if this has been posted before.  I've never cared for the idea that Dooku was trained by anyone other than Yoda; the novels establish that his master was Thame Cerulean.  Although Yoda participated in the training of many Jedi (as evidence by his teaching a group of Younglings), Attack of the Clones established that Dooku had been his Padawan.  The mention of another master for Dooku seems redundant and unnecessary.

Ah, but it contradicts the PT, so it can't be that bad.

Nah, not the bacon. I'm not allowed to eat pork from either the first or second hand.

trampled into the mud by

collection of Bart Simpson t-shirts.

You could have posted your links in this thread, y'know.

EXT. ZORQO'S ZOO OF ZANINESS/PROMENADE -- DAY

The VERPINE VENDOR at a hog dog stand takes out a fresh packet of weiners, tears it open, and begins laying the lengths of processed, pale green pseudo-meat down on his grill as Obi-Wan and Nemec approach.

NEMEC: Hey, there.

VERPINE VENDOR: (speaking through a translator) Well, howdy! What can I do ya for?

NEMEC: (scrutinizing the green dogs) What kind of dogs are those?

VERPINE VENDOR: Why, those are bona fide processed magenge weiners, hoss, the finest this side of the Roche system!

NEMEC: Magenge? Never heard of it before. What kind of animal is that?

VERPINE VENDOR: Not a creature, hoss. No, not a creature. It's a fungus.

NEMEC: (cocks an eyebrow) A fungus?

VERPINE: Indeed, hoss. A sweet fungus. My peoples' main consumable, to tell ya the gods' honest truth. Its taste is like the seventh heaven, I can tell ya.

Nemec and Obi-Wan exchange glances.

OBI-WAN: (shrugs) I'm game if you are.

NEMEC: (to the vendor) Alright, I'll take two.

VERPINE VENDOR: Either of ya like ketchsup on yours?

OBI-WAN: I'll have some.

NEMEC: None for me, thanks.

The vendor quickly assembles the pair of dogs with silent haste; Obi-Wan cringes when he sees the ketchsup -- a dark, plum-coloured condiment totally unlike the ketchup/catsup he's familiar with -- squeezed onto his weiner.

VERPINE VENDOR: That'll be six ingots, if ya please.

Nemec promptly reaches into his right pocket for his wallet. When he doesn't find it there, he then goes for his left pocket. Not finding it there, he begins patting down his shirt in search of it; obviously, he doesn't have the wallet on him.

NEMEC: Damn, I forgot -- I left the wallet with Corin.

OBI-WAN: That's alright, I'll pay for them. It's the least I can do.

Pushing aside the fold of his coat, he goes for his utility belt and, reaching into a pouch, pulls out six Corporate Sector ingots.

OBI-WAN: (to the Verpine) Here you are.

Obi-Wan hands the ingots to the Verpine, who promptly hands him the two weiners.

VERPINE VENDOR: And here ya are.

OBI-WAN: (takes the dogs) Thanks.

Moving away from the stand, Obi-Wan and Nemec head off down the promenade. The Jedi hands the farmer his green hot dog.

NEMEC: (turns the dog over in his hands) A hot dog made out of fungus ... what the hell was I thinking paying for this?

OBI-WAN: It may not be all that bad.

NEMEC: Only one way to tell, I suppose.

In synchronous tandem, the two men take bites out of their magenge dogs.

OBI-WAN: (disgusted) Ugh! Revolting!

NEMEC: (shrugs) Really? I don't think mine's half bad. It's probably the ketchup on yours -- you shouldn't have gone for any.

Spitting the unpalatable mash out of his mouth, Obi-Wan is quick to toss the rest of the dog in the nearest trash can. Nemec is quick to finish his.

NEMEC: Not bad. They don't hold a candle to real dogs, of course, but they're decent for all that. (beat) We should have a barbeque next Benduday. Corin makes the best hot dogs on the planet, and I mean really makes them; she grinds up the meat, mixes in the starch, the whole works.

OBI-WAN: I didn't know Corin was such the gourmet. 

NEMEC: She took a course offworld fifty years ago. She hasn't put the spatula down since. (beat) Does Siri cook at all, Obi?

OBI-WAN: (grins) Afraid not. I'm the breadmaker in the family.

NEMEC: Well, let me tell you -- when you have fifteen children to take care of, it helps to have two parents who can cook to feed them.

OBI-WAN: Fifteen children? Is that all?

NEMEC: (laughs) I'm ninety years old, Obi. I married Corin when I was twenty-two. When you've been in a fulfilling marriage as long as I have, you have plenty of time and opportunity to sow, grow, and harvest your own oats -- especially when there's nothing to do between sleeping and working. (beat) Besides eating and that other thing, of course.

OBI-WAN: (sighs) I suppose not.

Nemec's brow furrows as he hears the forlornness in Obi-Wan's voice.  

NEMEC: I'm sorry. I forgot about the ... situation with your wife.

OBI-WAN: It's alright. It's just ... it's just difficult to think about right now. (beat) We should have waited, but we were too impatient to become parents -- too damned impatient.

NEMEC: Are you going to try again?

OBI-WAN: Perhaps. I'm not sure. I was so anxious to have a child before, but now ... with this ... I'm just not sure. 

NEMEC: It's just a matter of finishing the treatments, isn't it? You've just got to wait until the doctors say she's fit to carry a child to term and everything should be alright.

OBI-WAN: If Siri gets pregnant again, she'll constantly worry about losing it. I don't know if she can handle that stress. Besides ...

NEMEC: Besides what?

OBI-WAN: I've thought about it -- run it over-and-over again in my mind -- but I've never openly discussed it with her ...

NEMEC: What?

OBI-WAN: (sighs) You know that Siri and I follow different paths in the Force?

NEMEC: Aren't you both Jedi?

OBI-WAN: Yes, but Siri's a Jedi of the Coruscanti Order. I'm a ronin Jedi. The two schools are very different from one another -- in some regards, the two are in complete opposition. (beat) You've noticed that I don't have my lightsaber on me at present?

NEMEC: Your lasersword? Yeah, I noticed it wasn't on your belt when you went to pay the bug. Siri's had hers on, though, front and centre. 

OBI-WAN: My master Yoda taught me that weapons -- lightsabers included -- are only to be taken into situations where their presence is justified. The Coruscanti Jedi, on the other hand, teach that the lightsaber is an extension of the self -- another limb, basically, that must never leave one's side. (beat) Siri and I have argued and disagreed on this and many other subjects over the years, but we've come to respect one another's differing beliefs.

NEMEC: But with kids ...

OBI-WAN: With children, there'll always be the question of what to teach them, which doctrines to expose them to and which to steer them clear of. Can either of us step aside and allow the child to follow teachings we, personally, don't believe in? Can we reach a compromise? (beat) I honestly don't know what to do in that sort of situation.

NEMEC: (pats Obi-Wan on the back) This is why I'm happy Corin and I are both atheists. No religion, no conflict.

OBI-WAN: No conflict, hmm? Sounds like a recipe for boredom.

Hearing this, Nemec can't help but grin.

I've decided to have Nik and Nashira's ride through Route 999 immediately follow the scene with Adder instead of showing it later on like I originally planned, so I've gone back to my last entry and amended it to include the new scene:

http://originaltrilogy.com/forum/topic.cfm/Star-Wars-Knight-of-the-Empire-The-Second-Episode-in-DuracellEnergizers-New-PT-Re-Write/post/741113/#TopicPost741113

As for whole new entries, I'm writing some more scenes up as we type, so I'll probably be posting anew within the next day couple hours at the latest.

imperialscum said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

In the case of SW (aka ANH), I could see why fighters were involved in a space campaign -- so I'm willing to excuse it -- but from ROTJ onward, I just don't get the logic of fighters involving themselves in battles with capital ships; they don't have the firepower to take down large ships, so basically they're just being wasted blowing away other fighters.

So yeah -- I'm hoping the ST limits fighters to surface battles and leaves the big space battles to the larger ships.

That's absurd. It is like saying that aircraft were useless against ships in pacific theatre of WW2, when it was completely opposite.

Those ships didn't have deflector shields, did they?

In fact, starfighters are the only thing that makes the rebel victory in ROTJ reasonable... assuming rebels had better bombers (B-Wings) that devastated imperial ships.

ROTJ is a mediocre, lazy-ass retread of SW anyway, so I'm not predisposed to being generous towards it in the first place.

Post Praetorian said:

DrCrowTStarwars said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

I'd like to visit China, but my lack of a passport, money, and desire to bolster the economy of a corrupt communist regime all get in the way.

 How is that any worse then bolstering the economy of a corrupt capitalist regime?

 Agreed...from this point forwards you should consider purchasing only products made in Canada. Begin with your bacon and oil and carry on from there...

If it's any consolation, most of the stuff I own is second-hand, anyway. 

I'm sick to death of my dumbshit father and his self-righteous bullshit. I wish he'd take his holier-than-thou attitude, religious legalism and hypocrisy and literally fuck himself up the ass with all three of them.

I prefer space battles where the fighting is restricted to large ships -- capital ships, gunships, destroyers, etc. -- without any small, one-man fighters involved in the action.

In the case of SW (aka ANH), I could see why fighters were involved in a space campaign -- so I'm willing to excuse it -- but from ROTJ onward, I just don't get the logic of fighters involving themselves in battles with capital ships; they don't have the firepower to take down large ships, so basically they're just being wasted blowing away other fighters.

So yeah -- I'm hoping the ST limits fighters to surface battles and leaves the big space battles to the larger ships.

Tired of this discussion, Spock

Though I think TNG is inferior to TOS, there is one thing about TNG that I prefer over TOS: red being Starfleet's command division colour instead of gold.