DuracellEnergizer

camroncamera said:

TV's Frink said:

 I'm not seeing much Phased Plasma Rifle in the 40-watt range.

 Fixed.

You can't do that. 

Thanks a lot, you asshats.

I will participate no longer.

This thread is fucked now.

Maxi-chlorians. Need I say more?

Oh, I'll get around to watching at least the first one someday. =P

Too bad it fails in the stealth department.

The Neverending Story is definitely a novel I need to get around to reading one of these days. I've never seen any of the films, but I did watch a short-lived TV series inspired by the book some years back which I enjoyed, so I'd love to read the original story itself.

EXT. CORUSCANT -- GALACTIC CITY -- ENTERTAINMENT STREET -- ALLEY -- EVENING

Llomon and Mahttoh make their way through the dank alley, navigating around piles of organic and inorganic refuse until they come to a doorway with a sickly green light burning above it. Standing in the shadows of the doorway, almost invisible inside his dirty black jacket, is TAAR PFAALL, a Gran information broker. Though relatively young, his sagging skin, missing teeth, and cataracted eyes make him appear far older than his years.

TAAR PFAALL: (raises his right arm in greeting) Ho!

LLOMON: (irrate) Quiet, fool! Are you trying to draw attention to us?!

TAAR PFAALL: Do you really believe anyone living in this neighbourhood cares what you're here for? (grins) Offworlders. You're so quaint. (gestures toward the door) Of course, if you're so worried about being noticed, you're welcome to come inside. I can fix you both a mug of ardees.

LLOMON: Never mind that. I want to get out of this offal pit before its stench seeps through my clothes into my skin.

TAAR PFAALL: Very well. (reaches inside his jacket and pulls out a datacard) Here's what you wanted.

The Gran tosses the datacard to Mahttoh. The Wookiee catches it and slips in into a datapad on hand, activating the device and calling up the card's stored data.

TAAR PFAALL: It took some digging, but I found what you're looking for. Your Obi-Wan Kenobi lives in Apartment 53 of the 662 Gasgor Valley complex. Not the swankiest of outfits, but still not a half-bad place to call home.

MAHTTOH: (frowns) It says here that the apartment is being rented by a Siri Tachi.

TAAR PFAAL: That's Kenobi's wife. The rental agreement is in her name.

MAHTTOH: (to Llomon) I thought Human women took their mate's surname in marriage.

LLOMON: (shrugs) Don't ask me to explain it. Human marriage customs are completely alien to me.

EXT. AGRARIAN COLONY WORLD -- CABIN GROUNDS -- DAY (FLASHBACK)

It is an overcast day on this part of the world, and Csan Than currently sits upon the grass in a clearing in the forest, arranging several long, rectangular stones into a structure of multiple tiered mini-stonehenges with his remaining hand. Several months have passed since he crashed to the planet, affording him enough time to procure a wooden peg leg and have a log cabin built for himself. The young blonde girl, seated a ways away behind him, is now his Jedi apprentice.

CSAN THAN: (places the last stone in place) There -- it's complete.

Taking care not to disturb the stone structure or the ground supporting it, the Anx Jedi scoots backward, taking a place by his young apprentice's side.

BLONDE GIRL: Do I really have to try this again? I keep failing. You know I can't do it.

CSAN THAN: Yes, you have failed in the past. However, there's an old Human adage which comes to mind which may be of some help to you.

BLONDE GIRL: Yeah? What is it?

CSAN THAN: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

BLONDE GIRL: (groans) Master Than ...

CSAN THAN: (chuckles) Just close your eyes, young one.

BLONDE GIRL: (sighs) Alright ... (closes her eyes)

CSAN THAN: The stones have been placed in a flawless configuration, my child, arranged so as to give the structure a low centre of gravity. This makes it a sturdy structure, child, one which will not easily shake or fall. (beat) However, it has one primary weak point: the keystone. This stone is the load bearing stone, supporting all the others; dislodge this one stone, and the entire structure will fall. (beat) Picture the keystone in your mind. Now picture the Force, a current of energy flowing around the stone. Picture the current bending to your will, moving in the direction you wish it to move towards. Make that current soften the foundations of the keystone, weakening it.  

Furrowing her brow, the girl concentrates on the stone structure's keystone. At first, the effects are imperceptible. In seconds, though, a slight tremor becomes evident in the foundations of the tiered stones.

CSAN THAN: (cont'd) The foundations have been weakened. Now concentrate the Force flow against the keystone itself -- bring it to bear like a battering ram! Knock it over!

The girl obeys her master's advice. The tiered structure collapses into a pile of stones.

BLONDE GIRL: (opens her eyes; astonished) I did it!

CSAN THAN: (smiles) Indeed you did. (beat) Go and get my stick, girl. Help an old man up onto his feet.

Standing up, the girl retrieves the Anx's walking stick. Returning to her master, she takes hold of his good arm and, pulling him to his feet, hands him his stick.

BLONDE GIRL: I still don't see why I have to learn this. Knocking over a small pile of rocks isn't going to do me much good against a Dark Jedi. 

CSAN THAN: (frowns) How many times have I told you, child? Do not call them "Dark Jedi"; it is an obscenity. They are dark -- leave it at that.

BLONDE GIRL: Forgive me, Master. Sjoerd Ethan referred to himself as such; I guess the term has just stuck with me.

CSAN THAN: The Bpfasshi cultists call themselves "Dark Jedi" to mock true Jedi. It is an affront to our kind and meant as such; cleanse your mind of it once and for all.

The two Jedi start off for the cabin.

BLONDE GIRL: (sighs) I'll keep trying, Master Than. (beat) Still, I don't see the point of these exercises.

CSAN THAN: You will need to know how to manipulate physical objects when it comes time for you to build your own lightsaber.

BLONDE GIRL: I already have a lightsaber, Master -- two of them.

CSAN THAN: And if you should lose them both?

BLONDE GIRL: (brings up her hands and wiggles her fingers) I have hands, don't I?

CSAN THAN: (sighs) The inner mechanism of a lightsaber requires a delicate touch, child; try to assemble it by hand and you're likely to create a plasma grenade that'll explode in your hand as soon as you go to activate it.

BLONDE GIRL: Well, it doesn't really matter, does it? There aren't enough parts on this world to construct a replacement lightsaber, anyway. (beat) Now, if only I could use the Force to actually lift things, to throw them -- I wouldn't need to worry about having a lightsaber then!

CSAN THAN: That was a power of the ancient Jedi.

BLONDE GIRL: (astonished) It was?!

CSAN THAN: (nods) It is a matter of fact. Advanced telekinetic feats were child's play for them.

BLONDE GIRL: But modern Jedi can't do it?

CSAN THAN: A small number can. For the rest of us, however, it is a lost art -- has been for centuries.

BLONDE GIRL: How is that? How did we lose it?

CSAN THAN: (sighs) That is a question which I have no definitive answers to. Perhaps the Force is like the tide -- rising and falling -- and right now it is at an ebb. Or perhaps -- and this is more unsettling -- the Force is abandoning us.

BLONDE GIRL: Why would the Force abandon us? Don't we serve its will?

CSAN THAN: We try to the best of our ability and knowledge, but that may not count for much if we have erred in our ways somewhere along the line, stumbled and fallen off the path without our being aware of it.

Just as the master and his apprentice reach the door of their cabin, an object -- a Theta-class shuttle bearing the colours of the now-defunct Galactic Republic -- comes streaking down from the sky. Noticing the craft as it descends into the distance, the Jedi look to one another.

CSAN THAN: Shall we?

BLONDE GIRL: Can your leg bear it?

CSAN THAN: I can manage.

Turning away from the cabin, they start off on a trek to rendezvous with the Republican shuttle.

Personally, I don't think Vader would have become as captivating a character had he and Anakin remained separate characters. Vader would have remained a badass villain, to be sure, but he probably also would have remained the same 2-dimensional "black hat" character he was in the first film -- scary and intimidating, but with no real depth given to his character.

^It's of a frowning guy with a harmonica resting under his chin blowing a raspberry.

dovestones said:

Is it worth my money to buy the blu ray special editions? Or are they just so far removed from the original movies that I would dislike them?

Well, that depends. If you want to own a preservation of the OOT (like Harmy's) or a fanedit of the OT which use the Blu-rays as a source, then yes, you should buy them, if only to avoid legal quandries. Otherwise, skip them; they're total garbage.  

Possessed said:

We don't understand why they get away with this bullshit.  We've discussed it and decided it's ridiculous.  We also won't respond to anybody who points it out and will simply ignore it because that makes the accusations go away.

-Team Possessed

Your real name wouldn't happen to be Legion, would it? 

Meanwhile, out in inner space

It can't be worse than what I was doing before.

For over a year now, I've been experiencing chest pains and odd pressure in my head as a result of my poor eating habits. Well, because of that I've adopted a new strict diet -- I won't be eating anything between breakfast and supper, and the breakfast is going to be a light one, consisting of a bowl of cereal only (If I happen to run out of cereal, well, then I'll only be having supper that day.).

I've been on this diet two days now, and it's easier than I thought it would be; what hunger pangs I'm getting are bearable, and they're a helluva lot more pleasant than the chest pains.

THIS is a complete joke.

^I don't like the lack of a period at the end of your sentence.

John Doom said:

Frankie, please, don't send me one of your "love letters" :D

Oh, don't worry about that. I'm saving those for a special someone named Lil Wayne. ;-) 

timdiggerm said:

G E Predator said:

I'm now a follower ^^

 Aren't we all

Only because we're all unquestioning sheep. ;-) 

^Possible homersexual.

Possessed said:

u r jus a 8r

 Embrace inarticulateness, ignoramus.

I'm disappointed that Stevie Nicks doesn't wear a pair of plastic vampire fangs in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rwq4Poc_WL4

John Doom said:

I read somewhere that, to justify Vader's death in "Splinter of the Mind's Eye", they recently officially said that it was just an image of himself created with the Dark Side.

Actually, no, they didn't go with that idea. If they had, it would have actually been a good way of fitting SOTME into post-TESB continuity without having Luke actually duel Vader prior to Bespin.

What they did was go down the most simplistic route possible and made the Vader Luke & Leia fought in the Temple of Pomojema the real Vader, using some dumbass "the Kaiburr Crystal amped up his anger" excuse for why he wanted to kill Luke despite knowing he was his son.  

Too bad Davnes isn't around right now. He and Erica would have had a blast* with this thread.

*Sexual innuendo not intended.