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I don’t read any OPs. I just scroll past them to see if there is a button I can press. I like to press buttons.
You must have a fetish for elevators.
THE LAST SON OF KRYPTON
“STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND”
FADE IN
On Jonathan Kent out in one of his fields, at work removing a large boulder embedded in the ground.
SUPERIMPOSE: SEPTEMBER 1933
Working with a long pry bar, he struggles to uproot the stubborn boulder. Though a virile man still, Jonathan is beginning to show the signs of age; his blond hair is starting to fade to a pale gray and he now wears his glasses on a permanent basis.
As Jonathan sweats and strains against the boulder, Clark walks up to him, his red-haired dog Rusty — son of Shelby — running circles about his heels. Seventeen years old, Clark has grown into a strapping young man — tall, broad-shouldered, and rustically handsome.
CLARK
Pa?
JONATHAN
(busy) Hrm?
CLARK
Can I help?
Struggling with the pry bar for a few more seconds, Jonathan finally gives the futile effort up. Taking off the hat he’s wearing, he wipes his moist brow, sighing with exasperation.
JONATHAN
(steps back) You’re gonna need something for leverage, son.
Stepping up to the boulder, Clark reaches under and uproots it, holding it aloft with one hand effortlessly. This is a Clark who wouldn’t struggle lifting the rear of the Model T now.
CLARK
Where do you want it?
JONATHAN
(smiles) Let’s take it to the barn, around back.
Leaving the field, they take the boulder behind the barn, where Clark gently sets it down on the ground. With a few short whacks, he splits the boulder up into smaller chunks to be hauled away later.
CLARK
Is it alright if I head off to the park? I was hoping to meet the gang there.
JONATHAN
All your chores done?
CLARK
Uh-huh.
JONATHAN
Then what do you need my permission for? (claps Clark on back) School starts tomorrow. Make the most of these precious few hours.
CLARK
(grins) Thanks, Pa.
JONATHAN
Just don’t be late getting back for supper.
CLARK
Am I ever?
Before Jonathan can reply, Clark is gone in a flash. Shaking his head, Jonathan takes his hat and slaps a boulder chunk with it, smiling.
FADE OUT
BEGIN OPENING CREDITS
END OPENING CREDITS
FADE IN
On the park.
It is a sunny, late Labor Day afternoon. Though most visitors have retired home for the coming evening, several people are still present, playing games, flying kites, talking, reading, or just sitting and milling about.
Dropping out of super speed, Clark arrives on the park outskirts, well out of view of anyone. Checking his clothes over to make certain they are neat and clean, he proceeds onward, walking at a leisurely pace. He soon spots Lana and Pete. Like Clark, they, too, have matured into young adults. Pete is tall, almost as tall as Clark, just as handsome, but lanky in build. Lana, shorter than the two boys but still tall for a lady, is a beauty with large thick-lashed eyes, full cheeks, and full pink lips, a large congregation of freckles covering her exposed skin only adding to her natural beauty. Sharing a bench, the pair are deep in conversation, too busy to notice Clark.
CLARK
(waves) Lana! Pete!
Noticing Clark, they rise from the bench. Clark joins them.
PETE
(claps Clark on arm) Glad to see you made it out today, fella.
CLARK
Summer break’s almost over. Like my pa said, “Make the most of these precious few hours.” (beat) Brought the pigskin?
LANA
(brings out football) bien sûr.
Heading out to a clear area on the grass, the three begin playing catch.
PETE
(tosses ball to Lana) Returning to the Torch again this year, Lana?
LANA
(catches ball) Returning to this question again this year, Pete?
Lana tosses the ball to Clark, who tosses it back to Pete.
PETE
(catches ball) Well, yeah. This is senior year. (tosses ball to Lana)
LANA
(catches ball) So? (tosses ball to Pete)
PETE
(catches ball) You’ve been editor-in-chief of the school paper three years straight. Don’t you wanna give something fun a run your final year? (tosses ball to Clark)
CLARK
(catches ball) Working on the Torch is plenty fun, Pete. (tosses ball to Lana)
PETE
You think milking cows is fun, Kent.
LANA
You’d rather I try out for cheerleading? (tosses ball to Pete)
PETE
(catches ball) Getting dolled up in a cute number? Hoofing it for the boys on the field? Flashing those grand gams of yours? A mite niftier than sitting on your keister in a cramped, fusty office getting an edge off mimeograph fumes, I can tell you. (tosses ball to Clark)
LANA
Sorry, Pete. Tried that freshman year; didn’t take to it. (intercepts ball) Go long.
Jogging out, Clark spreads his arms high. Lana sends the football sailing through the air; Clark just barely misses it. He goes to retrieve the ball.
LANA
(to Pete) Though if you want to admire my grand gams, you need only ask.
As Clark returns with the ball, Lana hikes the hem of her skirt up to her thigh, affording both boys a lingering look at one long, shapely, creamy leg.
CLARK
(drops football) Hot damn!
Flashing a sexy grin, Lana drops her skirt back in place.
A couple hours later.
With the sun beginning to set, the three call it a day. Giving their farewells, they part to return home.
EXT. KENT FARM — BARN — SUNSET
Returning from the park, Clark crosses past the barn on his way to the house.
KENNY
(O.C.) Hey, Clark! Clark, up here!
Stopping, Clark turns and looks up to the barn. He can just make out Kenny standing in the loft’s open door.
INT. BARN/LOFT — SUNSET
Clark climbs the ladder to the loft, where he finds Kenny sitting in a wooden chair by the loft door, casually sipping from a bottle of root beer as he looks out, seemingly a million miles away. As tall as Pete but even leaner, he’d look handsome if he wasn’t so painfully thin.
Turning to Clark, the black teenager hoists up a small carrying case of root beer.
KENNY
Have one.
Clark silently takes one of the bottles. Placing his thumbnail under the rim of the metal cap, he pops it off with one flick of his thumb.
KENNY
I still haven’t learned how you do that.
CLARK
Trade secret.
KENNY
You out with Pete and Lana?
CLARK
At the park, yeah.
KENNY
(looks out loft door) Those were the days, weren’t they? Just us four, running wild all summer-long, day and night. (beat) Your folks always understood. My dad never did.
Clark takes a seat in a second chair beside Kenny.
CLARK
(takes sip) How’s your pa? Doing any better?
KENNY
Worse. A lot worse. (takes sip) I won’t be coming back this year, Clark.
CLARK
(frowns) What do you mean, won’t be coming back?
KENNY
I’ll be needed at the gas station full-time now. I won’t have time for school anymore.
CLARK
Ken, this is our senior year. Graduation’s this spring.
KENNY
And I know you’ll make it — with flying colours. (finishes bottle) Keep the rest.
Morose, Kenny rises and crosses over to the ladder.
EXT. BRAVERMAN HOME/FRONT YARD — TWILIGHT
Kenny arrives home. The Braverman home is a cottage in shabby, weather-beaten, but otherwise alright condition.
INT. BRAVERMAN HOME/LIVING ROOM — TWILIGHT
Within the confines of the cottage living room we finding AL BRAVERMAN sitting in a threadbare armchair, a bottle of moonshine cradled in his lap. Eyelids droopy, lower lip hanging low, nose misshapen, chin unshaven, and frame and features positively skeletal, he is a homely man. His bleary eyes are quite yellow, but that could be due to the dirty lighting afforded by the living room’s kerosene lamp.
As Kenny enters the cottage, he reluctantly steps into the living room doorway and stands there, watching his father for a sign of acknowledgement. Taking a long sip from his bottle, Al takes a gander at his son. Spitting a stream of saliva through the gap in his bottom front teeth, he returns to watching nothing.
INT. BRAVERMAN HOME/KITCHEN — TWILIGHT
Entering the kitchen, Kenny begins preparing supper. As he is retrieving the cookware, he halts, rests fingers against his mouth, then steps back out of the kitchen.
INT. BRAVERMAN HOME/LIVING ROOM — TWILIGHT
Kenny has returned to the doorway. Al has slipped into a doze. The bottle, held limply now in his hands, begins to tilt precariously forward, threatening to spill. Kenny strides up to the armchair and stills the bottle. This action is enough to jolt Al out of his light slumber. Thinking his son is trying to steal his bottle, the ugliness of Al’s face deepens with a scowl as he slaps Kenny hard against the face. Kenny rears back. Al stares hard at Kenny for several long seconds, then falls back into unconsciousness.
INT. BRAVERMAN HOME/KENNY’S BEDROOM — TWILIGHT
Kenny enters his bedroom. Unlike the rest of the home, this room is kept clean and relatively tidy, though there are books everywhere, hardcover and paperback, fiction and nonfiction. Closing his door behind him, he strides up to his desk. Opening the top drawer, he reveals the revolver nestled inside.
Withdrawing the revolver, he pulls back the hammer, aiming it at the bedroom door, in the direction of his father. As Kenny keeps the barrel of the gun trained in that direction, his face twists with deep-seated loathing, his hand and arm beginning to violently shake with suppressed rage.
I also wish the dramas themselves were on Spotify. People just aren’t buying CDs anymore and there’s no other way millennials will hear them.
This millennial found a way.
Roxette: “Dance Away”
And what’s the value in [seeing life as it really is]?
You automatically reminded me of this speech. Thank you.
Got up to “pain, misery…” and cracked up laughing.
And what’s the value in [seeing life as it really is]?
You automatically reminded me of this speech. Thank you.
Wow, just wow. I can see where some people would have issues with the movie, but it’s a product of it’s time, only a few years past the super campy era of Batman.
Yeah, but I’m not a fan of Batman '66, either.
:’-(
What’s truly sad is that I loved the show when I was a kid. It and B:TAS were how I was first exposed to the character.
Whatever you do, don’t just randomly start rapping “Going Back To Cali” by Biggie Smalls to all of them, as tempting as that may be.
Would this be a better choice?
I believe I am now a fan of Mr. Godward.
Wow, just wow. I can see where some people would have issues with the movie, but it’s a product of it’s time, only a few years past the super campy era of Batman.
Yeah, but I’m not a fan of Batman '66, either. That sort of camp just doesn’t appeal to me, for whatever reason.
Even if I found fault with the movie today, I wouldn’t trade the memories of seeing this with my Mom back in 1978 for anything.
I’m happy for everyone who continues to enjoy this film, warts and all. I wish I could join you, but I can’t.
I rewatched The Holiday Special exactly once, and only because my OCD compels me to do so with every movie I’ve seen after I revise my rating system.
Alright, y’all want my reasoning behind my dislike of Superman ‘78? To save myself time and effort, here are snippets from others’ reviews which align with my own thoughts.
Unlike some, I think Superman can be an extremely great character, and I love him to pieces when he succeeds at least mildly at reaching his potential. But here, he just doesn’t gel with me. He doesn’t even think of becoming Superman until he’s TOLD by his biological father. He doesn’t even THINK to use his powers for good until he’s told to do so when he turns 18 - and he’s not even someone Clark knows already or has previously formed a connection with. As such, Superman isn’t a result of Clark’s own morality and desire to help people - he seems more to be a result of Clark learning that he’s a super special alien. That’s just not what Superman’s all about to me. To me, Superman is a good person, and that’s the most important thing about him. As I see it, the reason why Clark became Superman is just to help people, and it came about as a result of internalizing the moral instruction of his adopted parents, not from just suddenly being TOLD when he’s an adult by someone he didn’t even know before. Everyone likes Superman for different reasons, but for me, this movie just COMPLETELY missed what I like best about him.
In addition to Superman seeming disconnected from humanity and needing to be TOLD to help people, Superman also fails to show many particularly compelling traits you would expect from a hero. Think about it - the day is saved by Lex Luthor’s henchwoman, not him! Throughout the entire movie, I fail to see him show any particular cleverness, endurance, courage, or anything. (I guess you could argue that turning back the world was “clever”, but I found that plot point so completely, utterly, painfully stupid that I can’t agree.) He just IS super, and I guess that’s supposed to be enough, even though that’s just a part of his biology as opposed to who he is as a person.
Bottom line, I just don’t find this version of Superman compelling at all. He lacks volition, his motives and everything he does seems to be motivated more by Jor-El than his own desires, he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to humanity, and there’s just so little to him beyond his physical abilities.
…
Perhaps one of the biggest unexplained plot points of all is, why does Jor-El want Kal-El to “become an inspiration to humanity” or “show them the light” or whatnot at all? The reason why he sent Kal- El to earth was to save HIM, not for humanity’s sake. This is a big reason that I feel the “Superman = Jesus” analogy the movie tried to push fails. Jor-El isn’t shown having any actual motives to inspire his son to become this Christ figure. They COULD’VE shown him having such motives, but they didn’t. His desire to have Kal help humanity just appears without an explanation in Jor-El’s character being given.
What I can’t stand is that SUPERMAN can fly around the world to turn back time. I know I should suspend my disbelief, but it’s such a lousy ending for the movie. Can’t he do something else, better to defeat Lex Luthor and save Lois Lane? And if he can fly fast enough to turn back time, why couldn’t he just have caught both nuclear warheads?
While Christopher Reeves plays a fantastic Superman, the movie fell short where many movies do in that the super-villain isn’t a challenge for the superhero. Lex Luthor is an evil genius, but he is not portrayed, in this movie anyway, as someone who could challenge and defeat Superman, even in a battle of wits.
Reeve’s decision to play Clark Kent as a bumbling character based on Cary Grant is one that fits with the film’s infantile tone
My third problem is that Superman brings Lois Lane back from the dead by reversing time itself by going backwards around the Earth (with terrible yet unintentionally funny special effects), which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. It also kills what precious little suspense was there to begin with because Superman could theoretically keep doing this whenever he felt like it. It really just felt like the writers wrote themselves into a corner and pulled something out of their asses to keep the plot going.
Superman is so smart, and so smart, that he goes to a reporter and tells her all his secrets except his own identity. And she publishes for all his enemies to read.
But let’s take a look at the plot: Lex Luthor buys cheap mid-western real state with the intention of sending a nuclear missile to San Andreas fault, thus sinking the whole west coast, which would cause his cheap real state to become the new west coast, thus making him rich. Never mind the fact that the plan is neither physically possible nor economically viable, those are the least of this movie’s problems. The problems start when, luckily for Luthor, the US Army, who are depicted as the most incompetent group of buffoons in the history of cinema, decide to launch 2 nuclear missiles within US territory, with enough fuel to reach both coasts and no failsafes whatsoever. They literally just plan to hurl the missiles up into the air and hope for the best because if anything goes wrong, they’re screwed. The missiles are going to be transported from the base where they are stored to the launching base (where no one will ever check if anything went wrong) by a group of soldiers so dumb and horny they’ll leave their post in unison at the sight of a scantily-clad woman lying in the pavement ahead of them.
It’s bad enough that the only real difference between Luthor’s plan to hijack the missiles and a Coyote’s plan to capture the Road Runner is the number of empty Acme boxes lying around afterwards. It’s bad enough that the plan actually works, thanks to the spectacular incompetence of the US Army. It’s bad enough that Otis (Luthor’s henchman) demonstrates that he is the stupidest living being ever put on film by screwing up a task a 6-year-old child would’ve done correctly. But what makes this sequence completely unbearable is the fact that Otis’ screw up is going to play such an important part in the plot later on. Quite literally, Otis’ braindead screw up is the one and only reason Superman manages to defeat Luthor.
Then Luthor realizes that Superman could still foil his plans so he decides to get rid of him, and using reasoning that Uwe Boll would’ve been ashamed to put on film, he “deduces”, out of the blue, the existence and effects of Kryptonite. Then he lures Superman into his lair (in the sewers) so he can kill him. At this point, Superman is completely clueless regarding the missiles and Luthor’s plan. If Luthor has kept his mouth shut, he would’ve won. But just to prove that this movie is nothing but a bad James Bond movie written by Ed Wood, and that Luthor is nothing more than a poor man’s Goldfinger, he tells Superman everything about his plan, including how to stop it if he desires to do so. Then he puts the Kryptonite necklace on Superman, pushes him into a pool, and continues his James Bond-villain impersonation by conveniently walking away for no readily apparent reason, hoping that Superman is nice enough to die unsupervised and stupid enough not no realize that all he has to do is to bend over and let the necklace slip from his neck. All Luthor had to do was to wait two minutes for Superman to drown. If he was in a hurry, he could’ve helped him. But no, he walks away.
So Superman is in the pool, a Kryptonite necklace slowly draining away his powers and even his very life. This is the first time in the whole movie that Superman cannot simply muscle his way out of a problem. So what does he do? Does he demonstrate that being a hero is about the heart, not the muscles? Does he demonstrate that a hero might be down, but he’s never out? Does he demonstrate that a true hero will always find a way to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat no matter what the odds are? No, that would be SuperGIRL. What Superman demonstrates is that he’s absolutely worthless without his muscles. So how does he get out of there? Well, it turns out that Otis’ screw up in programming the missile has conveniently sent it to the town where the grandparents of Luthor’s henchwoman live. And she saves Superman so he can save her grandparents, in what is effectively the worst “plot twist” in the history of cinema.
The romance: This was painful to watch. Lois is an annoying character. She’s supposed to be an experienced and respected reporter, yet she doesn’t show the slightest bit of competence or professionalism at anything she does (especially that awkward interview scene… “Can you see my underwear?” Really?). Clark is given pretty much zero reasons to fall for her, yet he does - I guess because he’s the male lead and she’s the female lead and that’s the only reason. Why would he suddenly fall for the mean lady at work who’s a kinda disrespectful to him? The flying scene with the narration was just cringe-worthy.
…
What was a bit weird though, was Clark’s personality. It’s normal for a superhero to have two personalities, the superhero persona, and the public civilian self. The bumbling klutz Clark Kent persona is clearly an act, but it seems like the Superman persona is also fake. The good-natured goodie-two-shoes boy scout personality doesn’t really resemble Clark when he was a kid, his true self, which this movie unfortunately ignores until we possibly see a bit of it again at the very end. It’s a personality that’s quiet and introspective, wondering about his role and place in the world. If he was like that when he was a kid, there isn’t much reason to completely change, so much so that he seems like a different character when he’s older, right? His kid personality feels like Superman’s real personality, the personality we should have seen more of.
Also, the ending is horrible. I mean poorly-thought out horrible, similar to what helped kill the Matrix. You see, Superman solves all these disasters, but as a result can’t save Lois. She gets killed, and Superman decides to do the one thing he promised not to do… alter history. He turns the world around, and sets time back by, I don’t know, five minutes. Then he goes down to see the now-living Lois. BUT WAIT!!! SINCE IT’S FIVE MINUTES AGO, SHOULDN’T ALL THOSE DISASTERS THAT WERE HAPPENING BE OCCURING AGAIN!? Also, Lois was killed in the flick by being buried in a landslide. For some unknown reason, when he turns back time the landslide itself is not occuring again. With plotholes like this, one can wonder what the writers were doing all this time. It’s also hard to believe that this film was scripted by the same person who wrote the Godfather.
As for your “Happiness is possible,” line, that’s a gross generalization.
So’s this:
All relationships are terrible and destined to be a disaster because they involve people, and people are the worst.
I hope you’re at least capable of recognizing the irony.
2/10? Now 4/10?
Lol.
I mean I don’t even care about Superman but that’s still ridiculous.
It’s still fresh in my mind, so I could lay out a comprehensive list of each and every thing, big and little, in chronological order, that makes me dislike this film. But since I know you won’t care, I won’t bother.
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Would it help to know that my rating has gone up from what it was previously (2/10)?
It actually isn’t. Telling people to operate under the delusion that anything good will ever happen to them is dogshit advice. Especially when talking about relationships. All relationships are terrible and destined to be a disaster because they involve people, and people are the worst.
This is painful to read and you should consider getting help, and if it’s even slightly a shtick you should know it’s not amusing anymore.
Anymore?
Embrace dogshit.
You recently watched Freddy Got Fingered, too?
I haven’t played with LEGO since the '90s. I miss it dearly.
Will there ever be a point when these Disney-haters are truly happy?
When Disney lies dead in the cold, cold ground.
I don’t care that it’s part of a larger universe, I care that unless you followed the exact right part of that universe it makes zero sense, and that’s the case for a large majority of the people that watched this movie I’d bet.
I get that. I’m just saying that nowadays they expect you to; either know Maul is alive in advance, be motivated to go watch the cartoons, simply google it, or just wait and see what potentially happens in the following movies.
Love it or hate it, that’s just how movie franchises work now, they follow comic-rules.
And that’s why I don’t enjoy modern comics.
Modern? They’ve always been like that.
A DC comic from f.ex. the late 70’s wouldn’t have any qualms about suddenly reintroducing some random villain from the 50’s and just expect you to accept it.
Many pre-Copper Age comics — at least, the ones I’ve read by Marvel — gave short recaps/flashbacks/editor’s notes bringing readers up to speed on recent history/character backstories/etc.
And Marvel does this all the time. A story I read recently from the early 90’s made a bunch of references to a story from the early 60’s. And there was no wikipedia back then.
Yeah, '90s. The “fan’s only” mentality had already set in by that time.
I don’t care that it’s part of a larger universe, I care that unless you followed the exact right part of that universe it makes zero sense, and that’s the case for a large majority of the people that watched this movie I’d bet.
I get that. I’m just saying that nowadays they expect you to; either know Maul is alive in advance, be motivated to go watch the cartoons, simply google it, or just wait and see what potentially happens in the following movies.
Love it or hate it, that’s just how movie franchises work now, they follow comic-rules.
And that’s why I don’t enjoy modern comics.
I hope in Solo 2 we see Maul hover around with a double-bladed helicopter lightsaber.
What? It’s no more silly than bringing him back in the first place.
Better yet, he can detach from his legs and hover about on a coptersaber attached to his waist stump.
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
★★★★★★★★☆☆
★★★★★★★★★☆
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆
★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆
★★★★★★★★★☆
★★★★★★★☆☆☆
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
