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Darth Chaltab

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Join date
21-Mar-2004
Last activity
6-Jan-2011
Posts
10,487

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Post
#94093
Topic
The CANTINA
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: ricarleite
Quote

Originally posted by: Darth Chaltab
...I don't even want to know what "teenage erotic scenes" means...

Still, it could be censcored for daytime like YuYuHakusho was.

Blast it! Crap!... that sort of thing.
Besides. Those words are used on daytime TV anyway.


BLASPHEMY!! That's like... putting an underware on Michelangelo's Davi!


Is that a problem?

Post
#94063
Topic
Sequels that should never be...
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: ADigitalMan

If TS3 does get released, Generation Y will create its own set of forums called OriginalToyStory.com (That's OTS.com for short) and complain about how Disney raped their childhood. Jimb0 will likely join that board and clutter it up in defense of Eisner's creative decisions for the past decade. DanielB, who has never edited a spec of video, will come on and complain about how the second issue of "bloopers" and the digital remastering for the Toy Story 2 DVD are heresy because they destroyed the entire vibe of its theatrical release. Then he'll tell everybody how they can restore it and improve upon it. Then he'll dump all over Toy Story 3, and though they'll agree with his analysis, he'll already be hated by the entire community and be told to F' Off.




Generation Y doesn't care enough. Besides, most of Toy Story's fans are in my generation (Late Eighties) since we were the Kids who enjoyed Toy Story in the 90s. But nice tounge-in-cheeck-ism.
Post
#94027
Topic
MANGLER BROS., INC. IS NOW CLOSED HERE
Time
You have lightning generators mounted on your triceps.

And of course in real life Jimbo would be no problem. You have to give some dramatic effect; there has to be some adversity. Also, they were using weapons that their original universe selves werent used to. Eventually they are going to whine and complain and start websites trying to get the Original Universe the way they remember it, but Father Time will refuse their request and even deny that it still exists...




























Just kidding.
Post
#94029
Topic
Empire of Dreams - what was your imagined Star Wars story...
Time
Actually, I thought with the lackluster acting and poor screenplay, the story is one of the saving graces of the prequels. Some of the plotpoints could definitely have been refined, but overall it's one thing I really like about the PT, especially Palpatine's politcal manipulations. The Clones weren't really a cop-out so much as an explanation of why it's called the Clone War...

And for the record, the Republic isn't without military forces: Planets are free to create their own Militaries, but there was no offical "Grand Army" like the one created in AoTC, and one was needed to fight the seperatists.
Post
#94025
Topic
Cartoons!
Time
Meh... There was a cartoon run briefly on MTV supposedly set in the movie universe (The Lizzard died yet the professor who tranforms into him was a main character in the second movie)... It wasn't really canon and had Spiderman doing really unspiderman like things, like swearing and acting like an MTV generation kid. Again Meh.
Post
#94013
Topic
I'm sorry, but I must say this... screw this forum, and screw the entertainment industry
Time
Quote

Originally posted by: JamesEightBitStar

Mine was for the Super Nintendo. Yours?


I missed out on that, but I got the basically Identical GBA version.

Quote

Even with the cracks in the walls, the game is harder than most games released today.
I'll agree that the sword beam is weak, but it is much easier to hit your target than it was in LoZ.


Can't say I ever had a problem hitting people with the original beam, so I wouldn't know.
Personally, I don't consider "Hit, block, wait for an opening, hit again, and then use this same general strategy on 98% of all enemies in the game" to be fun. And just to say this now... I personally consider the Gameboy installments of the Zelda series to be the worst ones (not counting the CD-i ones, which I've never played).


Oracle of Ages was great. I've never quite finished Seasons because I got stuck. Meh, but Ages was far from the worst instalments. *Shrugs* to each his own I guess. If you hate puzzles, then there's nothing that's gonna make you like the newer Zelda's, and I didn't say it was hard to hit a target in LoZ, but the AlttP beam was much wider. As for Zelda 64. I dunno. It seems archaic today, but it was the first game to use such a system when previous 3D games had no targeting systems at all or just plain atrocious ones. It may not be perfect in retrospect, but it paved the way for some excellent combat engines like Prince of Persia, Ninja Gaiden, Mark of Kri, and even Wind Waker.

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Most of the reason I liked the first Zelda was because of how many ways you could approach enemies--with your sword, with your bow, with your bomb, etc. I've honestly had situations where I was surrounded and used all sorts of desperate measures. In LttP, it seems like only the sword is good as a practical weapon. Everything else tended to be used more for solving puzzles than fighting, and some items (such as the bomb) were modified to the point that they were now USELESS as weapons--by the time that stupid bomb went off, whoever you were trying to blow up is all the way across the screen. In general the side-weapons are only useful if they're an enemy's specific weakness. Don't get me started on how the boss battles became hopelessly pattern-centric...


If you haven't noticed, nearly ever video game boss is pattern centric, even the ones in the first Zelda. Enemies didn't have AI back then, they had patterns and part of the challenge was cracking them. Granted the bomb is usless as a weapon, but it's not intended to be one. It's a device to open doors that happens to be lethal, not a rocket launcher. What do you have against swords anyway? In the first Zelda, pretty much all you could to was attack straight on(no matter what weapon, they were all direct), and once you got behind or beside an enemy, there was no more strategy than that. No blocking, nothing, and the sword could only jab, which is lame. The boomerang could stun, but it does the same in all the Zelda games, so there's onething that hasn't 'deminished'.. Granted it all of LoZ worked for '87, when it was fresh and new, but not today. That's why the re-release for the GBA got mostly middling reviews.


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I'm sick of hearing people complain about rotten tomatoes. Should they stop complaining, or should the farmer growing said tomatoes start selling them fresh?


Pessimist. There are plenty of good games and shows out there even if you don't like the direction old franchises are taking. My point is if you hate it, then stop complaining and try something else. Don't say "Screw this forum" as if we're the problem.

Quote

Heh. I recently got Minish Cap from a friend of mine. He outright gave it to me simply because he couldn't stand it anymore, and told me as much himself. That sure gives me a boost of confidence -__- (I haven't played it yet, by the way).


The Minish Cap's dungeons are good, but the overworld relies way too much on sidequests and riddles. Still it's worth a shot for the first two dungeons alone if it was just given to you.

Post
#93964
Topic
MANGLER BROS., INC. IS NOW CLOSED HERE
Time
I'd intended to make the Emperor evil anyway. But this gives me an idea... Also, I'm adding titles to all the other episodes.

Mangler Brothers Cartoon Series Episode IV: Return of the Cliche'd Plot Device

The show opens with Darth Chaltab, seemingly unaffected by the changes to the timeline, going over some recent captures. He chats with his crew aboard his command ship DarkCatalyst(tm)... They discuss the current location of the elusive criminal Hussein Adolf Yee, as well as the recent hit jobs of the Manlger Brothers. Suddenly, a transmission is picked up by the communications officer, SAKUL JORJE. He reads the text-only message and relays it to the crew: The Mangler-Mobile(tm) has been sighted making a jump for the distant world Jomanian appearantly after Jimbo Jones. Chaltab has no memories of giving Jimbo his second chance, but still feels he deserves one because he agrees with half of what Jimbo said, even though he loathed the way he said it. The DarkCatalyst(tm) flies towards Jomanian.

After the theme and commerical, We see a diner in a slum of Attichicktuc City, Jomanian. The Magnler Brothers, along with Warbler, enter. They are newly equipped, Motti with dual Desert Eagles and Dayv with an enormous laser combat-knife. Warblers arms appear to be newly transformed into Tesla Coils. Jimbo, just as he was last seen in Episode Two, stands behind the counter wiping a butcher's knife with a towel. He see's the Manglers, and dives behind cover just as Motti fires two bullets at him from each gun. While on the floor, the camera cuts to a shot of Jimbo cursing the Manglers and turning down the dial on his civility watch. The hulking brute agains leaps at the Manglers. Dayv is able to fend off his assault with the Fusion Flame Gauntlet, his in this timeline, but Jimbo gets up and knocks him backwards out of the diner (The sign reads Lumpawaroop Steak House)...

Motti's guns seem to be having no effect on the thick skull of the raging Yellow freak, and he too gets pummeled. The brothers dial their weapons up to level 2, with suitable outrageous transformation sequences, and attack Jimbo again. Dayv manages to cleave Jimbo's left arm off, but his smacked down by his right, which then hurls a stop sign at Motti, who dodges it Neo-style while returning fire from two really huge pistols. A new arm sprouts from the severed stump of Jimbo, and he hurls Motti into the sky and starts shooting lasers from his eyes(they are the same size in his transformed state), which burn his sides, barely avoiding cutting him in half. A beam blade portrudes through Jimbo's bulging shoulder, and tries to cleave his head into, but the skull is far too thick for even beam blades to cut. Dayv gets thrashed, and Jimbo tries to attack again, but is stopped short by a rocket that lands near his feet and knocks him down.

INSERT: RRS-1138, appearantly mechanical being with a Black Vaderesque Mask, holding a bazooka, and...

BOSSK, with an assortment of weapons. Warbler quickly joins them, pointing his Tesla Arm Coils at Jimbo. The three simultanously fire again, drinving the burning brute into a crater.Warbler cools the area off with an Ice beam, and Bossks injects concentrated CIVILITY(tm) into the Monster. Dayv and Motti are angy that they needed the help, and agree to trade back to the weapons their used to, even if it is discontinous with the history of this timeline. Either way, it is clear from this fight that Jimbo is much more skilled than in the original timeline, which caught the Manglers off guard. Jimbo is thrown onto the ground inside his diner. He staggers to his feet, and Motti and Davy explain that people are dissatisfied with the things he's had to say and the way he's said them, and hired them to kill him. Three bullets lance out from the Manglerguns, and the bullets are followed towards Jimbo's head, until...

Insert: Flash of Light, and Darth Chaltab, who just deflected his bullets with the light katana(tm)...

"I thought we warned you to stay out of our business," says Motti.

Chaltab looks puzzled, having no memories of their first encounter. He then insists that Jimbo only be maimed, and the whole argument happens again. The Episode ends with a "TO BE CONTINUED MESSAGE" as Chaltab and the Manglers begin to fight.