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ADigitalMan

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Join date
26-Sep-2004
Last activity
14-Jun-2025
Posts
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Post
#297592
Topic
General Harry Potter Discussion
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297592/action/topic#297592
Time
Wilford may certainly look the part, but the character is a bit more jolly than Wilford. Can you hear Slughorn saying:

"If I really wanted to, I could find out the temperature of your ass when I disguised as that armchair."

Dumbledore: "I'd like to present our new Potions master, Horace Slughorn."
[Harry and Ron share confused looks as they thought he was the new DADA teacher.]
Slughorn: "Well what did you think I was going to be around here, a fucking night watchman?"

"Eat your g-damn oatmeal, you little shit, it's Quidditch today. You need the horsepower."

"No pumpkin pasties! Makes me fart!"

To Cormac McLaggen after listening to him run his mouth: "Will you listen to this guy? He'll be chasing them dogs 'til his dick runs off."

And the best of all:
"You weren't just snoggin' Ginny in the hallway Harry, there were all sorts of intimate acts, oral and whatnot, that can be particularly hard for a trusting friend like Ron to forgive and IMPOSSIBLE to forget."
Post
#297477
Topic
General Harry Potter Discussion
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297477/action/topic#297477
Time
I keep hoping for either Brian Cox or John Rhys-Davies as Scrimgeour. We'll see.

I'd love a cameo from Hugh Grant as the new muggle Prime Minister. It'd be a great nod to Love Actually, and Richard Curtis is certainly a friend to the HP universe. (I expected him to get a writer/director chair for HBP before they brought back Kloves and kept Yates on.)

How different would GOF have been if Curtis had helmed it? I guarantee Ludo Bagman wouldn't have been cut, and Rowan Atkinson would have likely played him.
Post
#297439
Topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297439/action/topic#297439
Time
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Post
#297363
Topic
Indiana Jones IV
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297363/action/topic#297363
Time
Not saying Shorty is supposed to be Indy's son on a genetic level, but he was more of an adoptive son, and Spielberg could have gone a dozen good directions with that. Instead we've now got: "Here's Indy's Kid. Accept it."

Kinda like General Grievous. "I'm the bad guy running the whole Droid Army. Accept it."

Or Padme: "Even though there is absolutely no possible attraction that has been foreshadowed, I truly deeply love you. Accept it."
Post
#297276
Topic
Indiana Jones IV
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297276/action/topic#297276
Time
This pisses me off too. I would have preferred Short Round be in this film rather than introduce what Shia's character is rumored to be.

I completely envisioned a tasteful rehash of the opening scene from Raiders, and when the man with the Fedora steps out of the shadows to reveal his face, it's Short Round, all grown up who says "Dr. Jones, over here." Then whip-pan to Indy. It would have played for good (not cheap) laughs AND set a new tone for the character all at the same time. Clearly he would have grown up to follow in Indy's footsteps and all the typical Spielberg father-son issues could be put between these two established characters.

Imagine having Marion, Shorty and Dr. Henry Sr. all in one film ... it would have tied the previous three together in a perfect little bow.

But once again, they didn't ask me.
Post
#297233
Topic
Why the hell did the lazy Emperor even think Luke would join the dark side and become his new apprentice?!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297233/action/topic#297233
Time
As Luke said, "Your overconfidence is your weakness." And it was. Elegant, succinct writing.

If GL wrote ROTJ today, not only would he replace the Ewoks with Gungans, but the dialogue between Luke and Palps would go like this:

"Luke, you are destined to join the dark side of the force and become a Sith like your father became a Sith before you. Only together can we discover the mystery of how to bring your mother back to life. But to do that you must first kill your father, just as he killed children in order to become strong in the Force. Only then will you be strong enough in the dark side to save your dead mother's life."

"I do not agree with the logic behind your statement, Your Highness. From my point of view that is an evil statement. Soon I will be dead and you will also be dead, and my father will also be dead. You both will be dead along with me. We all will be dead together. Your overconfidence in your plan to lure me to the dark side and have me kill my father to take his place because of the psychological issues with me not knowing my parents growing up while you have had a vision of the future, which is always in motion anyway, is your weakness."

"Your faith in the good side of the Force, and that it will not only protect you but also your friends as they execute their battle plans on the moon below us is yours."

I swear, GL wrote the Prequels in Engrish sometimes.
Post
#297088
Topic
Indiana Jones IV
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297088/action/topic#297088
Time
Not much more than agreeing with you ... there isn't a lot of originality in Hollywood, and even less that sticks around. Only a few lasting characters have come to mind. That's just pathetic, considering the amount of celluloid Hollywood has churned out in the past 10 years.

I think Captain Jack may be around for a while though. If they can get past the high-mindedness of the last two Pirates films and just make some damn fun swashbuckling adventures that yet don't descend into complete drivel, then he may be a very fun character who will come back time and time again.
Post
#297070
Topic
Indiana Jones IV
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297070/action/topic#297070
Time
Time-tested characters like Bond and all the superheroes not withstanding, we've only seen three new franchises in the past decade with really great characters. Harry Potter, The Matrix, and Pirates of the Carribean. While the latter two both spawned flawed sequels, the originals had characters and situations that most of the population just couldn't get enough of. And of course, HP was based on written material that was already immensely popular. I can't make any other "new" franchise come to mind. Pathetic. But who needs character when you can make movies based on 80s toys, right?
Post
#297058
Topic
Indiana Jones IV
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297058/action/topic#297058
Time
IJ and the KOCS. It's much easier and much, MUCH funnier.

Chalk it to more of Lucas' hit-you-over-the-head exposition. If the Lucas of today made the original three, they would have been titled:

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark of the Covenant
Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Sankara Stone-Worshipping Khali Cult
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade to Recover The Holy Grail of Christ's Last Supper

Consider how much cooler the following two titles could be for the new film:
Indiana Jones and the Lost Kingdom
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull

Either one flows better, is more concise, and doesn't smack of a bloated old hack fucking up his best work.
Post
#297008
Topic
Recycled Prequel Music!?
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/297008/action/topic#297008
Time
I actually loved that "The Arena" finally got screen time in ROTS. While I hate 99% of Ben Burtt's musical decisions, he did two things in ROTS that I really did like:
1) The "War Drum" opening to the film.
2) "The Arena" when Vader and the Clonetroopers march on the Jedi Temple. The first moment I heard that cue during the midnight showing I thought (as I do now) THAT moment was worth saving the cue for. Too bad he had to butcher the end of it. I'd have liked the full cue to be played over an extended attack sequence in the temple.

Otherwise, yes, he recycled WAY too much music in the last two films. Everything on Geonosis is utterly unforgivable. Conveyor belt? The actual Attack of the Clones? Ugh!
Post
#296942
Topic
Star Wars Prequels/Original Trilogy: The Complete Scores (Released)
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/296942/action/topic#296942
Time
An idea ...

In the vein of Jericho and the whole NUTS! Campaign, we ask the whole OT.com subscriber base to:

1) Print out two copies of the following:
Hi-res, print-ready PDF HERE

2) Snail-Mail to:
Howard Roffman
President, Lucas Licensing
Lucasfilm Ltd.
P.O. Box 29901
San Francisco, CA 94129

and

Sony Classical
550 Madison Ave, 24th Fl
New York, NY 10022-3211

The more professional-looking you can make the envelope, the more likely they will be to open it if bombarded by letters. Flooding them with something that is simply just this organized will get the message through. Knowing that most of us are strapped for time, probably only a few dozen people can take the time to write out an actual letter. But this should take no time at all, and costs $0.82 in stamps. Heck, send in several copies if you're feeling rich. Hundreds, maybe thousands of you can take this much time for the cause, and that should be far more effective.