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Twelve Reasons "Star Wars" (aka ANH) Suckz — Page 2

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 (Edited)

err

1) We're looking for stolen plans that aren't a life form, but we're not going to bother with the tractor beam on this escape pod because it has "no life signs" duh...I hope Vader force choked some sense back into them.

2)Lukes underwater running out of air right at Han's feet, but all he does is splash around like he's at the swiming pool! I mean there's only like 15 inches of water!

3)The Death Star has too many chasms, they're everywhere, near walkways, landing bays, right behind workstations, even tractor beam terminals are placed out in them. For heavens sake why?, are they trying to save the cost of copper wiring and railings?

4)A single hole thats god knows how many miles long straight into the central reactor? Could they not have had a branching network of exhaust tubes? That's not a design flaw it's force choking incompetence.

5)So its's a really really important mission, firing a proton torpedo down the afore mentioned hole. Why in gods name does no-one think to fly behind and attempt to shoot any tie fighters that are attempting the same to the those engaged in said vital mission.  Hundereds of lives at stake and all.

On a slight tangent, I never had a problem with parsecs as some seem to.  I always assumed Han meant that he took a shorter route that was open to him due to having a more powerfull hyperdrive, or some such.

 

 

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Chirtman said:

On a slight tangent, I never had a problem with parsecs as some seem to.  I always assumed Han meant that he took a shorter route that was open to him due to having a more powerfull hyperdrive, or some such.

 

 

Stop being a gushing apologist! TFN has a place for people like you!!!

 

!!!!!!!

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I see the purpose of both of your threads, Senor TheBoost, and I completely concur with your reasoning mentioned in the other one.  There is room for genuine criticism of George Lucas, but I think there comes a point where folks just love to hate him and find every stupid thing wrong with him.

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darth_ender said:


I see the purpose of both of your threads, Senor TheBoost, and I completely concur with your reasoning mentioned in the other one.  There is room for genuine criticism of George Lucas, but I think there comes a point where folks just love to hate him and find every stupid thing wrong with him.
I thought the purpose was to mock this thread.

“005 is super hep” - dahmage

Star Wars Revisited Wordpress / Facebook / Twitter

005’s List of List & Comparisons

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I believe that thread was the catalyst, but according to this thread, his purpose is truly to stand up to all unnecessary George hate.

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Gaffer Tape said:

He's just a simple fanboy from Connecticut.

Connecticut?  Connecticut!?  A simple fanboy he.

 

OT.com, dear OT.com, you are all obnoxious and disliked, that cannot be denied.  Once again you come between me and my lovely bride.  OT.com, you're driving me to homicide!

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Why didn't R2 upload the stolen death star plans to the internet?

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none said:

Why didn't R2 upload the stolen death star plans to the internet?

A lot of the wireless networks on Tantive IV had passwords. He wanted to use the free wireless in the cantina when he had the chance, but wasn't allowed.

<span style=“font-weight: bold;”>The Most Handsomest Guy on OT.com</span>

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none said:

Why didn't R2 upload the stolen death star plans to the internet?

Because of all the atmosphere in space.

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I hate the fact that Lucas ripped off the Binary Sunset scene from Revenge of the Sith.  Luke staring out, yearning for adventure, is nowhere near as powerful as Owen staring out, yearning for SIDS.

Since they're like poetry, what with the rhyming and all, I find that I only need to watch three out of the six films.

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Monolithium said:


I hate the fact that Lucas ripped off the Binary Sunset scene from Revenge of the Sith.  Luke staring out, yearning for adventure, is nowhere near as powerful as Owen staring out, yearning for SIDS.
I was enjoying this post until I got to the end, at which point I became very offended.

Not funny at all.

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What's 15 inches long, has a blue-ish had and makes women scream all night??

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twooffour said:

What's 15 inches long, has a blue-ish had and makes women scream all night??

A punchline?

May the midichlorians be with you.

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Hoth-Nudist said:

Yeah!  Right on the money! I mean Luca$ should've totally chucked this in the can and instead, continue to fight for the rights to Flash Gordon!  ;-)

Flash has been ruined enough by other people, good lord someone of Luca$ caliber could do even more damage.

The only decent thing would have been King Features would keep the rights so the original versions would not get buried.  Unlike with Star Wars where Lucas has the rights.  If fox did we would have the oot on blu ray.

 

As for mocking what is wrong with star wars and empire strikes back, its all the crap in the special editions not the originals.

Things like in Star Wars 1997:

Han Steps on Jabba's tail

Greedo Shoots

lame cgi ruined a classic movie etc.

In empire:

Jango Fett voice

Alert my stardestroyer to prepare for my arrival

 

In Jedi:

Hayden in the ghost scene, jar jar celebrating on naboo and noooooooo when Vader throws the emperor down the death star core.

“Always loved Vader’s wordless self sacrifice. Another shitty, clueless, revision like Greedo and young Anakin’s ghost. What a fucking shame.” -Simon Pegg.

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There's enough stuff in the originals that can also be mocked, although none of it is probably as in-your-face obnoxious and obviously inserted as the SE changes.

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skyjedi2005 said:


empire trikes back

I'd watch it.

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Davnes007 said:

TV's Frink said:

skyjedi2005 said:


empire trikes back

I'd watch it.

Idunno...sounds kind of tupid, to me.

No, you're thinking of something else.  This is the long lost cut where the Empire uses trikes (otherwise known as tricycles) as their main weapons against the Rebellion.

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TV's Frink said:

Davnes007 said:

TV's Frink said:

skyjedi2005 said:


empire trikes back

I'd watch it.

Idunno...sounds kind of tupid, to me.

No, you're thinking of something else.  This is the long lost cut where the Empire uses trikes (otherwise known as tricycles) as their main weapons against the Rebellion.

If you thought the battle of Hoth was awesome before, wait till you see Darth Vader skidding into Echo base on his big-wheel.

 

Ray’s Lounge
Biggs in ANH edit idea
ROTJ opening edit idea

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ray_afraid said:

TV's Frink said:

Davnes007 said:

TV's Frink said:

skyjedi2005 said:


empire trikes back

I'd watch it.

Idunno...sounds kind of tupid, to me.

No, you're thinking of something else.  This is the long lost cut where the Empire uses trikes (otherwise known as tricycles) as their main weapons against the Rebellion.

If you thought the battle of Hoth was awesome before, wait till you see Darth Vader skidding into Echo base on his big-wheel.

 

"yippeeeee!!!"