timdiggerm said:
Perhaps the worst is yet to come.
The year 2099 for example...
The Earth is very different from today. Following a number of environmental disasters, such as "the Withering" – which resulted in the loss of a great deal of human knowledge including the vacuum cleaner and fire (although the latter came back fairly quickly) – and a "Cattle-clasm" that killed off most of the livestock.
The Earth has been reduced to a wasteland separated between "Withered Zones" and the remaining inhabitable areas. The Withering shifted the Earth into a new orbit, resulting in disruption to the seasons and a reformed calendar. Every day of the week is now 25-hours long except for Thursday (which, due to time anomalies, has not occurred in over a decade), while the change in the length of the year led to the creation of new months such as Janril, Febtober, and Marchuary. In addition, the dreary season of Hamble was created, which is permanently dark, cold and drizzly. The Withering resulted in vegetarians, pigeons and gays becoming endangered species, and completely wiped out tarts.
The Earth's geography is also radically altered. A new mountain range was formed in Britain by a day-long ice age, and the Earth now has twelve and a half continents. Many locations have been displaced and reduced to islands, including Oxford University and the London borough of Deptford, which is now in the Indonesian Ocean as a part of the Cockney Islands. The solar system is equally altered: Jupiter has been deep fried by Harry Ramsden's, Mercury and Neptune have been knocked together, and there was an initiative to destroy the Moon, which was deleterious to the nightlight industry.
Religion still exists, pieced together following the Withering, theologians conclude that there were four true deities: the evil twins Yin and Yang, Feng Shui the destroyer, and merciful Bod, based on the children's television programme Bod; the theme tune of which has become a hymn, sung in Gregorian chant. Bod is analogous to God, hence the commonly used phrase "Oh my Bod!"