The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 688

Peonthegrate said:

Wow I’m really loving this new clone angle. The only thing I’d be sad about going is the Dyad wording. I think it may be worth trying to include that word in there somewhere, especially because I’m sure in future material the Dyad will come back up, so it’ll be more cannon friendly and “future proof”.

Well, Ben Solo is dead, so I somewhat doubt it would ever come up again unless they do something crazy like resurrecting him in the next movie. But, yeah, it is a cool concept nonetheless. Maybe there is a way to weave it into there. Or we could just have Palpatine define their connection at the end there and not have Kylo define it. Because it’s never actually explained why or how he knows they’re a dyad. Obviously Palpatine didn’t tell him, and he’s the guy that would be well-versed on the intricacies of the Force. Maybe it would be best if it’s a surprise to everyone in that moment with Palps at the end. That way we’re also not revealing too many things about Rey in the hangar which would distract from the main point of it all.

Love the new dialogue.

But one suggestion might be to define Ray (and the other clones) as offspring clones. This way the audience will have an sort of explanation, why they are kids and why the gender might swap.

I don’t know if it would fit in the dialogue, but just a thought.

"Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. The dark side is in your nature…” (reference to his line on the Death Star)

“You’re lying.”

“You were right…your parents were no one. The Sith cult preys on desperate people like them.”

“Don’t!”

“Your barren mother, so desperate for a child. She saw one she could claim.”

“I don’t want this!”

“She stole you from the Sith!”

“No!”

“But taking you caught Palpatine’s attention.”

(Rey sees the vision of her parents and her abandonment. I’ve opted to reinclude her name since a child her age should remember it and it also could be her Sith codename, kinda like Omega was a codename. Rey translates to “King”, so this makes sense.)
“I know… Rey… be brave.”
“You’ll be safe here…I promise.”
“Come back! Nooo!”

“They paid for your protection…in more than one way.”

“Stop talking.”

“Rey…I learned what happened to them.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

“Your parents wanted to find Luke Skywalker for protection, looking for his allies in the Jakku desert. But Palpatine’s assassin caught up to them. They wouldn’t say where you were. So he gave the order.”

(Rey sees her parents get killed.)

“So that’s where you are.”

“You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead. I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“Because he no longer needed you. With his return, and your escape, his clones became threats to his power. You’re one of his clones. You are a Palpatine.”

“His progeny were fashioned to take the Sith throne, as vessels for his conjured spirit. But we’ve become a dyad in the Force, Rey - two minds, one power, beyond his foresight. We can end him and the Sith. Take his power and create something new.”

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

HERE IS MY TAKE ON THIS SCENE-

"Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. DARKNESS RUNS DEEP WITHIN YOU, Rey…”

“You’re lying.”

“You were right…your parents were no one. THEY WERE CONSCRIPTED BY SITH CULTISTS.”

“Don’t!”

“YOUR MOTHER, A SURROGATE FOR THE SITH, GAVE BIRTH TO YOU.”

“I don’t want this!”

“DESPERATE TO KEEP YOU FOR HERSELF, AND FEARING FOR YOUR FUTURE, TOOK YOU.”

“No!”

“YOUR PARENTS KNEW THEY WOULD BE PURSUED FOR BETRAYING THE CULT.”

(Rey sees the vision of her parents and her abandonment.)
“My Love…be brave.”
“You’ll be safe here…I promise.”
“Come back! Nooo!”

“BUT THEY DIDN’T ANTICIPATE HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE/ WERE.”

“Stop talking.”

“Rey…I learned what happened to them.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

"YOUR PARENTS SEARCHED THE GALAXY FOR THE RUMORED JEDI ORDER, KNOWING IT WOULD BE THEIR ONLY HOPE/ SALVATION. WHEN FOLLOWING A LEAD ON JAKKU, THEY WERE AMBUSHED AND FLED TO DRAW AWAY YOUR PURSUERS, ABANDONING YOU ON JAKKU, TO SAVE YOU.

(Rey sees her parents get killed.)

“So that’s where you are.”

“You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead. I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“ORIGINAL SITH CLONING IS FLAWED. THE HUSK THAT PALPATINE RESIDES IN, IS WEAK AND DETERIORATING. THOUGH YOUR MOTHER BIRTHED YOU, THE CULT CREATED YOU WITH THE BLOOD OF PALPATINE ALONE, TO BE A STRONGER STABLE CLONE HIS SPIRIT COULD INHABIT.”

"HE KNEW OUTSIDE OF THE CULT’S INFLUENCE YOU COULD BECOME A THREAT TO HIS RULE, AND YOU HAVE. TOGETHER REY, WE HAVE FORGED AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITHIN THE FORCE, WE CAN DESTROY HIM.

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

Burbin pointed out that Rey’s mother giving birth to a surrogate Palpy child (and assumably tons of other random women doing the same thing) is a little too strange for Star Wars, and I retroactively agree. It’s also extremely hard to convey in a concise way. That’s why I changed it to adoption - it’s nothing too out of place, and allows his reveal to Rey to build up in intensity over time smoothly. It also makes sense in general because Rey wouldn’t have any parents, making her a prime target for a couple looking for their own child since they can’t have one.

My thought was if she was birthed it would establish a greater bond between rey and her mother if nothing else. Also, it offers a possible explanation as to why rey is a woman, why palpatine’s current body is old and falling apart, but rey’s is young and only growing in strength. Like the act of coming from a natural birth made her not decrepit. Just my two cents.

That’s not exactly how genetics works. My thinking is that they would simply duplicate Palpatine’s X chromosome to produce Rey, removing the Y in the process, or there would be a donor chromosome. Otherwise, she is exactly the same as him.

I do like your explanation for why Palpatine’s body is falling apart, though. But it’s also a good idea that he’s in that state because of his own selfish actions. He killed off all of the clones that were grown since “birth” because he was threatened by them, and is only using the one(s) that were “born” at the age where his genes were taken.

Yes, I know that is not how genetics work. But I don’t think the subject of genetics has ever been mentioned in the level of detail you are discussing in star wars before. I felt if nothing else it could slip through the cracks as an in universe explanation versus no explanation at all.

littlev87 said:

Yes, I know that is not how genetics work. But I don’t think the subject of genetics has ever been mentioned in the level of detail you are discussing in star wars before. I felt if nothing else it could slip through the cracks as an in universe explanation versus no explanation at all.

According to George, Star Wars is made for middle schoolers. At least at mine, we were taught the difference between XX and XY. I don’t think Star Wars needs to cover these details as assumably they will be the same in the Star Wars universe as ours.

The only difference between our concept of cloning and the one seen in Star Wars is that clone troopers were raised since babies. At the same time, we see that clones of Moff Gideon and Palpatine function like in real life, where they exist at the age the sample was taken. So this way both methods of cloning in Star Wars are used, along with some genetic manipulation (Rey).

"Rey….wherever you are…You are hard to find.

“You are hard to get rid of.”

“I pushed you in the desert because I needed to see it…I needed you to see it…who you are. DARKNESS RUNS DEEP WITHIN YOU, Rey…”

“You’re lying.”

“You were right…your parents were no one. THEY WERE CONSCRIPTED BY SITH CULTISTS.”

“Don’t!”

“Your barren mother, so desperate for a child. She saw one she could claim.”

“I don’t want this!”

“DESPERATE TO KEEP YOU FOR HERSELF, AND FEARING FOR YOUR FUTURE, TOOK YOU.”

“No!”

“YOUR PARENTS KNEW THEY WOULD BE PURSUED FOR BETRAYING THE CULT.”

(Rey sees the vision of her parents and her abandonment.)
“My Love…be brave.”
“You’ll be safe here…I promise.”
“Come back! Nooo!”

“BUT THEY DIDN’T ANTICIPATE HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE/ WERE.”

“Stop talking.”

“Rey…I learned what happened to them.”

(Cutaway to heroes capture)

"YOUR PARENTS SEARCHED THE GALAXY FOR THE RUMORED JEDI ORDER, KNOWING IT WOULD BE THEIR ONLY HOPE/ SALVATION. WHEN FOLLOWING A LEAD ON JAKKU, THEY WERE AMBUSHED AND FLED TO DRAW AWAY YOUR PURSUERS, ABANDONING YOU ON JAKKU, TO SAVE YOU.

(Rey sees her parents get killed.)

“So that’s where you are.”

“You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you dead. I’ll come tell you.”

…

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“SITH CLONING IS FLAWED. THE HUSK THAT PALPATINE RESIDES IN, IS WEAK AND DETERIORATING. THE CULT CREATED YOU TO BE A STRONGER STABLE CLONE HIS SPIRIT COULD INHABIT.”

"HE KNEW OUTSIDE OF THE CULT’S INFLUENCE YOU COULD BECOME A THREAT TO HIS RULE, AND YOU HAVE. TOGETHER REY, WE HAVE FORGED AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITHIN THE FORCE, WE CAN DESTROY HIM.

(Removes his helmet)

“You know what you need to do. You know.”

“I know.”

@littlev The problem is that you’re describing exactly why he’d want to keep her alive, not to kill her. There’s also no real character motivations involved. I still prefer Hal’s version which I modified and shared above.

EDIT: No problem, DZ. I like everything you have there except for the first couple of lines. I think it’s a cool real-world moment of having a cult preying on desperate people. It also allows the sentences to flow better into each other:

“Sith cults prey on desperate people like them… Your barren mother, so desperate for a child.”

Perhaps they gave promises that she would be able to become pregnant if she joined them - which never came to fruition. Which is why she takes Rey, both to get back at them but also to have her own child. I think it’s more effective characterization than simply having second thoughts after joining a cult.

These two lines really stand out as awkward for me. They are partially why I tried my own rewrite. Also I did my rewrite while I was at work so I couldn’t reference the ascendant edit or the original movie at the time.

“But taking you caught Palpatine’s attention.”

(Did he know she was more special than the other clones being made? Or was she even more special than the other clones? this is why in my version it’s more about the betrayal of the cult than specifically palps. What was stopping him from just making another rey?)

"but Palpatine’s assassins caught up to them, they wouldn’t say where you were… so he gave the order.”

(this is silly because why would palps have occhi kill the only people that knew where rey was? It makes more sense for occhi to kill them because he believed she was on the same ship as them, and they were getting in the way/ fighting back.)

Jar Jar Bricks said:

@littlev The problem is that you’re describing exactly why he’d want to keep her alive, not to kill her. There’s also no real character motivations involved. I still prefer Hal’s version which I modified and shared above.

thats assuming that palps can inhabit anyone regardless of their power in the force. This line explains why he would want her killed.

"HE KNEW OUTSIDE OF THE CULT’S INFLUENCE YOU COULD BECOME A THREAT TO HIS RULE, AND YOU HAVE. TOGETHER REY, WE HAVE FORGED AN UNBREAKABLE BOND WITHIN THE FORCE, WE CAN DESTROY HIM.

littlev87 said:

These two lines really stand out as awkward for me. They are partially why I tried my own rewrite. Also I did my rewrite while I was at work so I couldn’t reference the ascendant edit or the original movie at the time.

“But taking you caught Palpatine’s attention.”

(Did he know she was more special than the other clones being made? Or was she even more special than the other clones? this is why in my version it’s more about the betrayal of the cult than specifically palps. What was stopping him from just making another rey?)

"but Palpatine’s assassins caught up to them, they wouldn’t say where you were… so he gave the order.”

(this is silly because why would palps have occhi kill the only people that knew where rey was? It makes more sense for occhi to kill them because he believed she was on the same ship as them, and they were getting in the way/ fighting back.)

Taking her woke Palpatine up to the fact that any of his followers could simply take a clone of his at any time and betray him. This is why he wants all of them dead.

Your second point is a flaw in the original movie. It’s at least made better this way because her parents truly are nobodies, and not related to Palpatine at all. If they can’t give him useful information, then they’re useless.

“Taking her woke Palpatine up to the fact that any of his followers could simply take a clone of his at any time and betray him. This is why he wants all of them dead.”

I guess that could be assumed by the audience, maybe? You would think that if any of his followers could betray him at any point he’d kill all of them too.

“Your second point is a flaw in the original movie. It’s at least made better this way because her parents truly are nobodies, and not related to Palpatine at all. If they can’t give him useful information, then they’re useless.”

yeah it is original, but since he is wearing his mask we could change it to anything. I mean if kylo ren can extract info from poe using the force, surely palpatine could do the same to a couple of nobodies.

littlev87 said:

I guess that could be assumed by the audience, maybe? You would think that if any of his followers could betray him at any point he’d kill all of them too.

It’s moreso about having the potential/temptation of it there in the first place. Sith betray each other all the time, it’s part of their religion.

yeah it is original, but since he is wearing his mask we could change it to anything. I mean if kylo ren can extract info from poe using the force, surely palpatine could do the same to a couple of nobodies.

Not a bad point, I wouldn’t mind getting rid of the whole Palpatine ordering their deaths part.

Hal 9000 said:

This concept seems to make Rey’s father superfluous.

I had noticed this, but that’s only because we aren’t making it clear enough that her father wanted to adopt her, too. A rather simple change here: “She stole you from the Sith!” --> “They stole you from the Sith!”