I was going to wait until next week to see the movie, both to avoid crowds at the theater and because the hype has become nauseatingly oversaturated, but I ended up going to an early show because I realized I’d never be able to avoid spoilers otherwise.
Now that I’ve had a day to think it over, my overall feeling is a resounding . . . meh.
There are parts of this film that looked a bit like Star Wars. There are parts of it that sounded a bit like Star Wars. There are even some parts that felt a bit like Star Wars. But the overall result? Not Star Wars. Not sure what it was, exactly, but Star Wars it surely was not.
In tone and execution, it had distinctly more in common with the Abrams-Trek films than with the original trilogy. It’s really a matter of style over substance. Oh, there were some good things in it, certainly. Rey was the best thing in the whole movie without a doubt. She was a great character, and whenever she wasn’t on screen, I wanted her to be back on it. Han was pretty good, too. And the ball droid surprised the heck out of me by not being an obnoxious piece of crap, as I’d been sure it would be. It was cute, without being overly cute.
But there, I’m sad to say, the good parts end. The plot was an incoherent mess, riffing on the original films while not actually managing to add up to anything on its own. The visual effects looked kind of stupid. This isn’t just a matter of their being models or CGI, since apparently both were used, but more to do with the way they moved and how they related to the camera. If you’ve ever watched Mike Verta’s video on the motion of the spaceships and the starfield backgrounds in the original film, you’ll know what I’m talking about. This just felt wrong, because I could never suspend my disbelief and feel like I was looking at anything that could have been really happening.
The other characters weren’t any good, either. Alien-sage lady was dumb. I went to the bathroom during that scene and came back while it was still going on, and could immediately tell I hadn’t missed anything worth seeing. Finn hyperventilated way too much and would have been better if he’d tried underplaying it sometimes. Kylo Ren (which incidentally is a stupid and terrible name) was only a half-decent villain while he kept his mask on. Once he took the mask off, it was all over. Any scariness or credibility he had went right out the window once his whiny prequel-Anakin true persona was revealed. I guess since prequel-Anakin is his grandfather, that makes some kind of twisted sense.
As far as Han’s death goes, well, seeing a favorite character bite the dust was pretty traumatic. I knew it was going to happen at least 20 minutes in advance, so when it actually did occur I just rolled my eyes and kind of tuned out for the rest of the film. But it certainly had its effect, since I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. In doing this, the filmmakers committed the same cardinal sin as Karen Traviss in whatever EU book, when Jacen Solo turned evil and bumped off Mara Jade. In both cases, a son of Han Solo has turned evil for no real reason and tries to establish their ‘bad guy’ credentials by killing a favorite character. In both cases, said bad guy is just an obnoxious punk who could not possibly hope to be taken seriously as a villain in any other way. Ren isn’t a worthy bad guy in any sense; he’s just a pathetic Vader-wannabe with daddy issues——which we’re never even given a reason for. This scene only works in a vaguely superficial sense; when you stop and think about it, the whole thing falls apart.
What’s even worse is that the whole thing could have easily been prevented. Luke, apparently, has just been sitting around in Butt-F*** Egypt twiddling his balls, not doing a thing to help anyone. Had he been there, Han’s death need never have happened. The sheer obviousness of this plot contrivance really stood out and made me very angry to think about. So, I really have to hand it to them for doing something I thought was impossible: congratulations, JJ, you actually made me hate Luke Skywalker. Thanks a lot, you piece of trash.
On the technical side, the person who commented above and said the blasters often sounded wrong to them was spot on with this observation. Not only did they sound wrong, they were inconsistent. I had a sinking feeling when the Millennium Falcon’s turret lasers sounded absolutely nothing like how they did in the original films. Why is it that the Shadows of the Empire video game can get this right, but the guy who actually came up with the sound effects in the first place can’t? You’re losing it, Ben Burtt . . . oh wait, never mind, it must have been Matthew Wood’s fault. When in doubt, blame Matthew Wood. That’s always a good policy.
Oh, and that tri-bladed saber thing? Still as dumb as it was when they first showed it.
Like I said, I didn’t completely hate the movie. There are some good things in it, and I’ll see the others to finish the story. I might have liked it a bit more if it had no connection to Star Wars, and was instead some generic, unrelated movie. It will never replace the Thrawn books: those are always going to be the ‘real’ sequel trilogy to me. If you think of these new movies as just being some bizarre alternate universe rather than the true story, it’s easier to set them aside. As I’ve said before, the prequels, special editions, and sequel movies form the ‘official’ continuity; while the unaltered original films and Zahn books are what I consider the actual events. Besides, as long as the original versions of the OT are unreleased, everything else is just a cynical way to cash in on the name of Star Wars. None of it means a damn thing as long as they continue to be suppressed. Until then, it’s just a zombie franchise, nothing more.
So . . . really, the best thing you can say about this film is that it is better than the prequels. But then, that is the very definition of ‘damning with faint praise’.
