Sign In

The Force Awakens Fan Edit Ideas - ** SPOILERS ** — Page 26

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Hal 9000 said:

Absolutely, the TIEs need to be very distant to explain people gawking, as well as giving Han and Finn time to get to the basement before Maz exclaims, “They’re here!”

I described at length some of the changes I’m planning for myself in a couple of posts on page 24 recently - but as it looks like I may also end up doing a 2nd version where the Starkiller planet fires AFTER Han’s death to see if I prefer it, I thought I’d go into how I’d re-structure the various ‘Finn/Han & Chewie looking upwards at the sky fireworks’ shots for myself.

The only TFA fan edit that I’ve watched so far is the early one by ‘Noodle_Finger’ which shows the Starkiller planet firing AFTER Han’s death - but the way he handled things looked like this - we saw Finn leave and exit out Maz’s ‘palace’ doorway with the 2 ‘space pirates’, as Rey then had her ‘bad visions’ in the lower levels, and then ran away from the ‘palace’ into the woods as normal…but the ‘Hux’s speech’ scene was moved to a point LATER ON in his edit (where the initial ‘sun-sucking’ shots were then added directly onto it AFTER the stormtroopers raised their arms), and instead, the scenes of ‘Rey running through the woods’ were JOINED TOGETHER at this point, where she was followed by BB-8, before eventually looking up at the ships overhead, and then began to run back…at which point ‘Noodle_Finger’ then cut back to the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIES approaching in close-up against the sun, before continuing with Maz being followed by Finn, Han, and Chewie in the lower level of her ‘palace’…

While this worked well enough, we just had to ‘assume’ that Finn had not left yet after all when we last saw him exiting the ‘palace’, and things had just ‘jumped-ahead-in-time’ to a point where he had regrouped with Maz, Han, and Chewie as the ships got nearer to them.

However, I have a slightly different re-arrangement of this scene for myself -

It’s been neat to see the recent test shots of Finn and Han looking up at additional FX of ships in the distance, but I’ve always tried to re-edit/re-arrange scenes and shots for myself using only existing, unaltered shots and audio. COMPROMISE is something I’ve had to accept quite a few times when working out certain alterations in this way - for instance, it’s annoying to find that the background score of a certain shot is too jarring when matched to another shot I wanted to join it directly onto…OR for another example, finding that a character’s spoken dialogue annoyingly overlaps briefly onto another shot, again rendering that option of a direct join onto another shot useless to me (J.J. did a LOT of ‘dialogue overlapping’ shots in TFA, by the way), and so there’s been a few times I’ve had to come up with an alternative edit along the way instead due to this.

In this case, I really happen to like the reaction shot of ‘Finn looking around as he’s about to board the ship at Maz’s palace’ (which Noodle_Finger didn’t include), especially as it helps to explain why he didn’t end up leaving after all - so here’s the way I’m planning to include it in the hope that it make’s the shot’s accompanying music blend in okay overall -

We see Rey eventually looking up at the ships overhead, as she then begins to run back as normal…and then cut to Han and Maz’s denizen’s starting to look upwards (missing out the ‘sky fireworks’ shot afterwards)…and then cut directly to the slightly earlier reaction shot of Finn turning around as he loads the ‘pirate’ ship (again, missing out the ‘sky fireworks’ shot afterwards)…and then cut to the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs approaching in close-up against the sun, as we then see Maz followed by Finn, Han, and Chewie in the lower level of her ‘palace’…EXCEPT after they feel the explosions she will not say the whole sentance “Those beasts!..they’re here!” at the end of the shot…but instead, the shot will end on her only saying the words “Those beasts!”…and then we continue with Rey finishing off running back through the woods to witness the TIEs attacking it.

In this new sequence, there’s no need for Maz to say the words “…they’re here!” whatsoever, as everyone already knew about the ships arriving due to their ‘looking upwards’ reaction shots beforehand. And while the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs is very ‘stylized’ compared to the lighting in the shots before and after it, I’m willing to ‘compromise’ on that fact to keep it in…especially as it serves to indicate the ‘jump-ahead-in-time’ between the shots of Finn looking upwards, and the shot of him having rejoined the others.

So for anyone else wishing to edit the Starkiller planet firing AFTER Han’s death, this is a straightforward way to replace the existing ‘fireworks in the sky’ sequence which Finn, Han, Chewie, and the rest are implausibly looking up at…WITHOUT the need for additional SFX of any sort.

 

Author
Time

Very good ideas in there. I’ll have to play around and see how it strikes me in finished form.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Hal 9000 said:

Very good ideas in there. I’ll have to play around and see how it strikes me in finished form.

I don’t currently have the time to edit and upload a clip of the version without the ‘sky fireworks’ shots I described previously. Perhaps you (or someone) may be able to give it a go instead, if you have some time.

However, I forgot to mention in my previous post that the reason I suggested putting the ‘Han & Maz’s denizens looking upwards’ shot BEFORE the ‘Finn looking upwards’ shot (rather than the OTHER way round as they appear in the movie)…is because I reckon the louder background ‘shrieking’ during the ‘Finn’ reaction shot kinda gives the impression that we’re hearing the ‘increasing shrieking’ of some of Maz’s denizens that initially started to look up in the ‘Han & Maz’s denizens’ reaction shot, if they’re placed this way round…and then that ‘shrieking’ background audio is then superceded by the sound of the TIEs when we cut directly to the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot - this is still a very ‘stylised’ way to include these particular shots inbetween Rey starting to run back, and then finishing off running back towards the ‘palace’…and it still involves a ‘jump-ahead-in-time’ to Maz, Han, Finn, and Chewie having regrouped in the lower level of the ‘palace’ of course, but I’m hoping it may work well enough for me.

(by the way, I’m sure it’s possible to actually REMOVE the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the ‘TIEs approaching against the sunset’ if anyone wishes, considering it seems a jarringly ‘stylised’ shot compared to the way the rest of the ‘daylight’ shots look during that whole sequence… But personally, I love it, whether it seems jarring or not, and think the brief ‘cutaway’ to it is ENOUGH to allow for the feeling of a ‘jump-ahead-in-time’ to where Maz, Han, Finn, and Chewie have regrouped)

To be honest, I had high hopes for that short ‘Apocalypse Now’ scene when I saw an early preview of it before the movie…and am still miffed that it only lasted a couple of seconds. I’d originally hoped to see a LOT more footage of the TIEs set against the distant sun like that!


ADDITIONAL EDIT: I’ve had another look at this since I posted the above yesterday, and have now thought of another possibility which involves REMOVING one of the shots I was going to use altogether -

Without actually getting the chance to cut this myself at the moment to see how it looks and sounds, I’m not 100% certain yet if it would work better to have the ‘Han, Chewie, & Maz’s denizens looking upwards’ shot immediately before the ‘Finn looking upwards’ shot (as I suggested in my previous post)…OR the other way round after all…before then seeing the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs against the sun, as Maz then leads Han, Finn, & Chewie towards the lightsabre (and ends with her saying “Those beasts!”), before seeing Rey & BB-8 finish off running back through the woods to see the TIEs attacking the ‘palace’.

Because, as it’s mainly the reaction shot of ‘Finn looking upwards from the ‘pirate’ ship’ (not including the ‘sky fireworks’ shot, of course) that I’m keen to include, I’m thinking I might not need to include the ‘Han, Chewie, & Maz’s denizens looking upwards’ shot in this scenario at all. I’m not sure yet as I say, but the whole sequence might end up flowing quite effectively overall if I EXCLUDE that particular shot altogether, so that it now looks like this -

  1. …we see Rey begin to stop running through the woods as she turns to see BB-8 has followed her, and she then notices the ships flying overhead, before she starts to run back through the woods again as normal…

  2. …we then see Finn starting to board the dirty, yellow ‘pirate’ ship, as he turns to look upwards (and we hear some ‘shrieking’ - which can be imagined to be some denizens from Maz’s ‘palace’ on seeing the ships arrive too)

  3. …we then see the stylised ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs against the distant sun…

  4. …we then ‘jump-ahead-in’ time a bit to see Maz now leading Han, Finn, & Chewie towards the lightsaber (as the shot ends on Maz only saying “Those beasts!”)

  5. …we then see Rey & BB-8 finish off running back through the woods to witness the ‘palace’ being destroyed by TIEs…

In this version we’re still seeing a ‘jump-ahead-in-time’ to a point where Finn immediately rejoined them inside the ‘palace’, but I kinda like this new juxtaposition of first seeing Rey run back set against the shot of Finn turning and looking upwards, when it’s done like this…as I’m not particular bothered about including that ‘Han & Denizens’ shot to begin with.

Just a thought.

 

Author
Time

Concerning your issue with the jarring nature of the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot, I had similar feelings and tried removing it from that sequence and replacing it in Jakku after the Stormtroopers call in an air strike on Finn and Rey. I was unwilling to lose the shot entirely but didn’t like it’s usage in the original edit, and so I felt both sequences benefited from the change.

Author
Time

I was thinking it would be really cool to try and give captain Phasma a more vital role in the film in a small way. I thought it would be interesting if she was someone who had a hidden launch key for SKB on her person or something. Imagine if Chewie tackles Phasma, and then she lowers the shield (while hiding her key,) (hux is giving his speech at this point,) she says “my men will storm the block and kill you, etc.” resistance fighters show up to surprise the first order troops, and then BAM she presses the “button” (I’m sure we could mock something up) as hux is mid speech.

(I figured we could use some footage from Alien V predator of the predator’s big bomb timer. Han could say “do you have a garbage chute? Trash Compactor?” We would think "she’s out of the way for the good guys, and then…BANG!

This would make phasma less of a throwaway character (Brienne of Tarth deserved better,) and would also split up the action a bit between all the recent edit suggestions like moving the hosnian destruction and Han’s big scene.

If Hux was caught off guard mid speech by SKB either initiating its launch procedure or straight up firing, it would show his character as the Tarkin wannabe he really is, just like Kylo is portrayed as the Vader fanboy.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Tomo said:

Concerning your issue with the jarring nature of the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot, I had similar feelings and tried removing it from that sequence and replacing it in Jakku after the Stormtroopers call in an air strike on Finn and Rey. I was unwilling to lose the shot entirely but didn’t like it’s usage in the original edit, and so I felt both sequences benefited from the change.

Tomo, after we see and hear the ships overhead, I guess you’re just cutting from Rey turning and starting to run back through the woods with BB-8, directly to the shot of Maz leading Han, Finn, & Chewie to the lightsabre, and then directly to Rey & BB-8 finishing off running through the woods towards the ‘palace’ then? - so although you would miss hearing the sound of the approaching TIEs due to losing the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot at the point it currently is, you’d hear them soon enough anyway near the end of the ‘Maz/lightsabre’ scene, before returning to Rey arriving back at the ‘palace’.

That could work fine for anyone that finds the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs against the sun TOO jarring, I guess. Although it kinda looks as if it’s more suited to the sun-drenched Jakku setting, the shot shows about 5 TIEs approaching, whereas only 2 TIEs arrive for the ‘air strike’ during that sequence. But if that’s a particular inconsistent ‘compromise’ that you’re happy to ignore, then it sounds fair enough as an idea.

I’m curious to know where you’ve decided to place it though, as the dialogue of the trooper calling in the ‘air strike’ unfortunately overlaps slightly into the current next close-up shot of Rey & Finn continuing to run, so doesn’t seem to fit there without some ‘audio manipulation/tweaking’ to work perfectly. Another place I looked at putting it, was at the point a little after that, where Rey & Finn are inside a tent, and begin to hear the TIEs for the first time. Perhaps you slotted it in just after the point they are listening in close-up…and then after the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot, you then continued as Finn grabs her hand and she tells him to let go of her? Either way, I’m interested to know.

However, I’ve decided I’m going to keep the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot at some point during the my re-edited lead-up to the attack on Maz’s ‘palace’, no matter what. Where exactly will depend on whether I keep the existing ‘Starkiller firing’ scene half-way through the movie as normal, or whether I end up showing it firing AFTER Han’s death scene. I know this ‘stylised’/somewhat jarring shot doesn’t entirely reflect the number and kind of ships that are seen earlier overhead Rey either…but it’s something I’m willing to ‘compromise’ on and accept for my own ideal version.

 

Author
Time

ImperialFighter said:
Tomo, after we see and hear the ships overhead, I guess you’re just cutting from Rey turning and starting to run back through the woods with BB-8, directly to the shot of Maz leading Han, Finn, & Chewie to the lightsabre, and then directly to Rey & BB-8 finishing off running through the woods towards the ‘palace’ then?

Yeah that’s how I felt it worked best, given that you already see that the TIEs are advancing when Rey watches them overhead, I didn’t think the shot showed you anything you didn’t already know.

Although it kinda looks as if it’s more suited to the sun-drenched Jakku setting, the shot shows about 5 TIEs approaching, whereas only 2 TIEs arrive for the ‘air strike’ during that sequence.

Damnit, I hadn’t noticed that until you mentioned it and now it’s bugging me haha. I suppose it’s not too far a stretch of the imagination to assume that the TIEs split up and some of them lost the Falcon. Finn’s mention of how staying low confuses their tracking could explain this. I don’t know which is more distracting though, since the whole of the Takodana sequence takes place in broad daylight with blue skies apart from that one shot.

I’m curious to know where you’ve decided to place it though, as the dialogue of the trooper calling in the ‘air strike’ unfortunately overlaps slightly into the current next close-up shot of Rey & Finn continuing to run, so doesn’t seem to fit there without some ‘audio manipulation/tweaking’ to work perfectly. Another place I looked at putting it, was at the point a little after that, where Rey & Finn are inside a tent, and begin to hear the TIEs for the first time. Perhaps you slotted it in just after the point they are listening in close-up…and then after the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot, you then continued as Finn grabs her hand and she tells him to let go of her? Either way, I’m interested to know.

I put it in straight after the trooper called them in and blended the audio. I tried to insert it into the tent scene as you mentioned, but the dialogue is a bit fast and there isn’t really an appropriate place to cut away that doesn’t seem distracting.
I see your point, for me it works better in Jakku but it’s a compromise either way.

Author
Time

Also, can anyone give me suggestions on where to find TFA edits to watch? I haven’t found any so far.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Tomo said:

ImperialFighter said:
Tomo, after we see and hear the ships overhead, I guess you’re just cutting from Rey turning and starting to run back through the woods with BB-8, directly to the shot of Maz leading Han, Finn, & Chewie to the lightsabre, and then directly to Rey & BB-8 finishing off running through the woods towards the ‘palace’ then?

Yeah that’s how I felt it worked best, given that you already see that the TIEs are advancing when Rey watches them overhead, I didn’t think the shot showed you anything you didn’t already know.

Thanks for the responses.

Just to recap - one of the reasons I’m wanting to include the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot immediately before the ‘Finn, Han, Chewie & Maz in corridor’ scene, is because I’m planning to JOIN TOGETHER the ‘Kylo talking to Vader’s mask’ scene directly in front of the WHOLE ‘Hux’s speech/Starkiller firing on planets/Han, Finn & others looking upwards’ sequence, beforehand.

And so I reckon that after Rey initially sees the ships overhead and begins to run back, that there’s even more time to get away with showing the brief ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs still flying, before we then see the ‘Maz/lightsabre’ scene, and then see Rey finish off running back towards the 'palace.

In other words, the extended ‘cut-away’ sequence of ‘Kylo/Vader’s mask’ and the FULL ‘Hux’s speech etc.’ (which ends with Finn asking “Where’s Rey?”) joined together will make it seem as if Rey had a slightly longer time to run through the woods (approx. an additional minute due to the ‘Kylo/Vaders mask’ scene being added) before we cut back to her stopping to rest/talking to BB-8/then seeing the ships overhead, and turning back…and therefore, the ships will seem to have a slightly longer way to travel before they reach the ‘palace’ too! But I won’t know how successful this will look until I eventually cut things together for myself.

And for an alternative version where the ‘Starkiller weapon’ fires AFTER Han’s death, I’m going to try the shortened, ‘stylised’ version I described previously where we’d see Rey turning, and beginning to run back…followed by the ‘Finn looking around as he boards the yellow pirate ship’ shot…followed by the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot, before we then go on to seeing the ‘Maz/lightsabre’ scene - as in this version I will have a different extended 'cut-away sequence before Rey turns back…which will be the ‘Kylo talking to Vader’s mask’ scene JOINED TOGETHER in front of the ‘Hux speech’ section only (ending where all the troopers raise their arms), before cutting to the shots of people at their consoles as we then see the first ‘sun-sucking’ shots.

(By the way, I can PM you a link to 'Noodle_Finger’s TFA edit at some point tomorrow (which is hopefully still avail.), as I’m pushed for time right now)

 

Author
Time

Cool that sounds like an interesting idea, good luck with your edits.
Yeah please that would be great😃

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I’ve sent you that PM now Tomo.


Gah, I’ve now realised there’s a THIRD possible variation which I might have to consider for myself! -

I’m kinda torn between TWO versions at the moment - one that keeps the FULL, existing ‘Hux’s speech/Starkiller weapon firing’ sequence (which ends with Finn saying “Where’s Rey?” to Han) as it is, where it appears approx. half-way through the movie…OR one that moves the ‘Starkiller weapon firing’ scene to immediately AFTER Han’s death (which means losing certain neat ‘Hux’ speech/Stormtroopers/Kylo on bridge’ shots).

However, I now see that I could ALSO keep ALL of the various ‘Hux’ speech/Starkiller firing’ shots that I like where they currently are, after all (while getting rid of the stylised ‘fireworks in sky’ shots)…but STILL retain the ‘Finn boarding the yellow ‘pirate’ ship’ shot I like too.

It would go like this -

  1. Rey runs from Maz’s palace into woods…

  2. …we then go to the FULL 'Hux’s speech/Stormtroopers sequence as normal, as we continue onwards with the weapon firing right up until we see Kylo on the stardestroyer bridge, then cut after the pan across his mask in close-up (as he watches the laser pass by his Stardestroyer)

  3. (omitting the shots of ‘Finn starting to look up from the ‘pirate’ ship’ & ‘Finn staring at the sky fireworks’)…we then go directly to the laser beginning to split into 4 beams and starting to hit the ‘Hosnian’ system planets, and continue onwards with it’s panicking people, then cut after the 4 laserbeams hit the planets simultaneously as they blow up in close-up…

  4. (omitting the shots of ‘Han, Chewie, and Maz’s denizens looking upwards’ & ‘laserbeam fireworks in sky’ & 'Finn running towards Han, and eventually asking "Where’s Rey?)…we then go directly to Rey still running through the woods, before coming to rest, and continue onwards with her speaking to BB-8 who’s followed her, as she then sees the ships flying overhead, and she begins to run back…

  5. …AT THIS POINT, we then go directly to the particular variation I suggested at the bottom of my 2nd post above, where 'Finn boards the yellow ‘pirate’ ship and turns to look upwards (with ‘shrieking’ in the background)…and we then go directly to the ‘Apocalypse Now’ shot of the TIEs against the sun…and we then ‘jump-ahead-in-time’ a little, and go directly to the ‘Maz leading Han, Finn, and Chewie to the lightsabre’ scene (ending after Maz’s close-up only says "Those beasts!)…and then go directly to Rey & BB-8 as they finish off running back towards the ‘palace’ to see it’s ongoing destruction…

(this way, I can still have the FULL ‘Hux’/Stormtroopers/Kylo on his Stardestroyer bridge’ sequence in it’s usual place in the movie, WITHOUT the implausable ‘sky fireworks’ shots altogether…whereas I’d have to chop some of that sequence out altogether if I opt for a ‘Starkiller weapon firing AFTER Han’s death’-type edit)

Hmmm, decisions, decisions.

I’ve not had a chance to scrutinise all the ways I want to tweak the FIRST half of the movie yet, but I reckon I’ve settled on the way I want to show ‘R2’s awakening’ during the second half - I’m still going to keep his initial appearances with BB-8 & C3PO over TWO seperate scenes for myself I’ve decided, and will go into how I’m doing it over the next few days.

 

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Here’s how I’ve decided to tweak both R2D2 scenes for myself now -

1st R2D2 SCENE RE-ARRANGED LIKE THIS:

  1. …Han follows Leia saying “I’m only trying to be helpful”, as Leia replies “When did that ever help?..and don’t mention the Death Star!”, as Han sighs…

  2. …BB-8 rolls forwards and pulls a ‘tarp’ cover off to reveal an inanimate R2D2… (however, I’m not particularly keen on the fact that he was just covered with an ‘old sheet’ in the first place…and am torn between showing the full shot OR just starting it at the point where BB-8 rolls forwards again AFTER he’s thrown the ‘tarp’ away)

(at this point I’m REMOVING the initial shot of BB-8 ‘beeping’ up at R2D2, as well as the shots of him ‘knocking’ R2D2 twice…as I’m MOVING them elsewhere)

  1. …BB-8 ‘beeps’ up at R2D2 and then turns as C3PO appears saying “BB-8…you’re wasting your time”, as BB-8 quizically ‘beeps’ up at him…

(at this point I’m TOTALLY DISCARDING the shots of C3PO saying “It is very doubtful that R2 would have the rest of the map in his backup data”, as BB-8 ‘beeps’ at him, and C3PO replies “I am afraid not…”, and am going directly to the next words below instead)

  1. …C3PO says “…R2D2 has been in low power mode ever since Master Luke went away”, as BB-8 turns to look at R2D2, and C3PO continues “Sadly, he may never be his old self again”, as BB-8 drops his head mournfully…

  2. …Han says “Listen to me will ya” to Leia…


2nd R2D2 SCENE RE-ARRANGED LIKE THIS:

  1. …wide shot of Leia and Rey hugging beside Falcon at base…

  2. …Chewie is mournful with head bowed…

(at this point, I’m TOTALLY DISCARDING the shot of R2D2 ‘wakening up’ as BB-8 then rolls towards him ‘beeping’ quizically, and am instead replacing it with the shots below that were REMOVED from the 1st scene)

  1. …BB-8 silently looks up at R2D2… (this is a ‘rear-view’ shot of BB-8)

  2. …BB-8 briefly silently looks up at R2D2 (this is initially a ‘front-view’ shot of BB-8), as he then ‘knocks’ him twice and rolls back slightly to look up at him…

  3. …BB-8 looks up at R2D2 and ‘beeps’ a squeal… (this is now back to a ‘front-view’ shot of BB-8)

  4. …BB-8 quizzically ‘beeps’ as R2D2 begins to shake and ‘beep’…

  5. …BB-8 ‘beeps’ excitedly up at R2D2, and then turns as C3PO appears saying “R2D2…you’ve come back!”, as R2D2 ‘beeps’ excitedly as he turns towards him…

  6. …C3PO says “You’ve found what?”…

(at this point I’m TOTALLY DISCARDING the shots of R2D2 ‘beeping’ sharply at C3PO, as C3PO then says “How dare you call me that!” and lightly slaps R2D2’s head as BB-8 looks round, and am going directly to the next shot below instead)

  1. …R2D2 ‘beeps’ excitedly to C3PO…

  2. …R2D2 continues ‘beeping’, as C3PO says “Find Master Luke, how?”…

  3. …wide shot of C3PO/R2D2/and BB-8 as C3PO says “Come R2…we must go and tell the others at once”…

  4. …Leia is mournful with her head bowed in front of a screen, and then turns as C3PO says “General…excuse me, general”, and we pan along to see R2D2 ‘beeping’ beside C3PO…

(at this point, I’m TOTALLY DISCARDING the shots of C3PO saying “R2D2 may contain some much needed good news”, as Leia then says “Tell me”, and am going directly to the next shot below instead)

  1. …wide shot of R2D2 beginning to show his ‘holographic’ map section to everyone, as BB-8 rolls towards it, before getting his ‘chip’ off Poe and then slotting his ‘holographic’ map section into R2D2’s map…

(and for anyone that hasn’t read the official reasoning behind R2D2’s current onscreen awakening, here it is - http://www.slashfilm.com/j-j-abrams-explains-role-of-r2-d2-in-the-force-awakens/ - I was never keen on just showing R2D2 randomly ‘awaken’ personally, and while this re-structure is not a whole lot better at explaining his ‘powering up’ at this point, I’d rather see him kinda ‘knocked’ awake by BB-8 instead)

 

Author
Time

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I tried earlier (expect for the cut shots in the end) and I think it works way better this way compared to R2s random awakening in the original cut.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Kexikus said:

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I tried earlier (expect for the cut shots in the end) and I think it works way better this way compared to R2s random awakening in the original cut.

While I’m quite content with all the re-structuring I described in my previous post, the one aspect I’m not 100% decided on yet happens to be those final shots of the 2nd scene - because as well as the way I originally outlined how I’d do shots 11, 12, and 13, there’s ALSO a couple of alternative ways that I could use to finish off the very end of the 2nd scene instead.

It’s one of these instances where I’ll decide once I’ve had a chance to edit each of them for comparison, but I’ll describe them for completion’s sake for anyone interested -

1st ALTERNATIVE ending of 2nd scene:

  1. …wide shot of C3PO/R2D2/and BB-8 as C3PO says “Come R2…we must go and tell the others at once”…

  2. …Leia is mournful with her head bowed in front of a screen, and then turns as C3PO says “General…excuse me, general” (except I’d instead cut the shot HERE once she’s turned, BEFORE we pan across to see R2D2 ‘beeping’ beside C3PO)

(at this point, I’d still TOTALLY DISCARD the shots of C3PO saying “R2D2 may contain some much needed good news”, as Leia then says “Tell me”, and could go directly to the next shot below instead)

  1. …wide shot of R2D2 beginning to show his ‘holographic’ map section to everyone, as BB-8 rolls towards it, before getting his ‘chip’ off Poe and then slotting his ‘holographic’ map section into R2D2’s map…

OR…2nd ALTERNATIVE ending of 2nd scene:

  1. …wide shot of C3PO/R2D2/and BB-8 as C3PO says “Come R2…we must go and tell the others at once”…

(at this point I’d TOTALLY DISCARD all the shots of Leia with her head bowed as R2D2 & C3PO appear, and C3PO then says “General…excuse me, general…R2D2 may contain some much needed good news”, as Leia then says “Tell me”, and could go directly to the next shot below instead)

  1. …wide shot of R2D2 beginning to show his ‘holographic’ map section to everyone, as BB-8 rolls towards it, before getting his ‘chip’ off Poe and then slotting his ‘holographic’ map section into BB-8’s map…

(however, if I don’t end up preferring ANY of these variations once I see them in motion, then I’ll just keep the existing final shots/dialogue of Leia and C3PO as they are - but I reckon I’ll prefer to alter things in one of the 3 ways I’ve described)

 

Author
Time
 (Edited)

One of the noticeable things about THE FORCE AWAKENS movie is that it hasn’t got a satifyingly ‘stand-alone’ storyline for anyone that hasn’t seen the Original Trilogy first. It gives a very different kind of ‘conclusional’ finale to that seen in A NEW HOPE, for instance.

And that’s okay I guess, although the specific way this sequel was structured ended up leaving a lot of questions unanswered about Luke at the very end - especially seeing as we never got to hear him say anything whatsoever, nor even accept/ignite his lightsabre briefly. But since this first chapter of the new ‘sequel trilogy’ left us on a ‘cliffhanger’ ending anyway, there’s a part of me that kinda thinks the makers could just as well have kept the grand entrance of Luke’s appearance until the NEXT movie instead. Sure, I can understand why Mark Hamill (and his character) was included briefly at the end in this relaunch, but we’re just left with a very ‘to-be-continued’ ending either way.

Some have already said they dislike the ‘helicopter’ zoom-around shot of Luke and Rey at the very end before the credits, and I’m not too keen on it either to be honest. There’s actually a few alternative shots that I’m still contemplating about using as the finale of my own version eventually - a couple of options that involve shots of the Falcon flying, as well as a couple of options that involve different close-ups of Luke’s face, and another option that involves the close-up of Rey offering the lightsabre - although I’ll need to try them out properly before I decide, and I may even need to wait to see how the scenes involving Luke and Rey start off in the next instalment, before I can choose properly.

But if I do end up using any of the footage where Rey finds Luke and then offers him the lightsabre, then I reckon I’d ideally keep the score throughout the existing scene as it is…except I’d MOVE the ‘helicopter’ shot of Luke and Rey to just BEFORE I end things with the close-up shot of Luke (or Rey) before the credits instead.

However, I thought some of you may like this short clip which I came across over at Fanedit(.)org the other day, done by a guy called ‘Jyndir’. It uses the awesome ‘trailer’ music that Williams came up with, and shows just how differently the movie could have ended on an alternative ‘cliff-hanger’ to the one we got. I reckon I would have been just as satisfied to lose the reveal of Luke in this particular chapter, if it meant hearing the movie end on these notes before the credits appeared instead! - https://vimeo.com/168168098

 

Author
Time

I’ve been saying since the movie came out that it should have ended on the shot of Leia and the resistance standing together as Rey flies away to find Luke. Then her finding Luke could be the beginning of ep8. People around these parts seemed to get very up in arms about that suggestion at the time.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Wow, love that new ending, absolutely incredible. Some one needs to incorporate that into a full edit. Goose bumps the whole way through.

I wonder if it would be possible to change it so the first note of the song would start right when she kisses Fin on the head.

Author
Time

I’ve said it a million times but finding Luke IS the conclusion to the story.

Actually, TFA stands pretty well on its own without the others (lot of new fans have seen TFA first). There are a few more loose ends at the end than say ANH (Kylo, Snoke, Hux, Finn vs. Vader) but finding Luke is not one (insane to me that people think removing meeting Luke is somehow getting rid of a cliffhanger when it’s actually making one where there wasn’t one before).

If someone wanted to make the film more standalone, it’d be pretty simple. Change the crawl, trim the Han stuff, do something different with the Force vision, and remove Snoke telling Hux to get Ren (and therefor imply his death and the possible destruction of the First Order). Might be an interesting little edit.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Darth Lucas said:

I’ve been saying since the movie came out that it should have ended on the shot of Leia and the resistance standing together as Rey flies away to find Luke. Then her finding Luke could be the beginning of ep8. People around these parts seemed to get very up in arms about that suggestion at the time.

While that would somewhat ‘mirror’ the way both the A NEW HOPE/THE PHANTOM MENACE movies ended in a ‘group’ shot finale (before continuing with their respective ‘trilogy’ sequels), I ruled it out for myself as I’d prefer to include a bit more of the existing TFA end footage and music personally. However, if that’s what you’d choose for yourself Darth Lucas, then it’s as valid an option as any other I reckon.

But did you notice that the ‘group’ shot of everyone ‘waving’ was actually moving BACKWARDS in that clip I showed? Despite some of the people now running backwards(!) in 'Jyndir’s version, I can certainly see where he is coming from concerning the motion of that particular shot (which comes after the Falcon initially takes off) - and I kinda wish that J.J. had ‘zoomed OUT’ during it (just like 'Jyndir’s version shows), instead of having ‘zoomed IN’ during the shot. No biggie in the scheme of things however.


@ littlv87 - it seems that ‘Jyndir’ is intending to do his own fan edit of the whole movie eventually, which will include that ending of his. Perhaps he’ll end up uploading it at some point for others when he does.

@ DominicCobb - I remember that you pretty much loved the existing movie just as it was overall, as did many others of course. And that’s great - I guess it just comes down to individual tastes, as there’s no particular ‘right’ way or ‘wrong’ way for anyone to re-edit certain scenes for their own preference at the end of the day. I mentioned in my previous post that I’m not certain yet if I’m including Luke at the end of my version or not…but I don’t happen to see his exclusion as being any more of an as-yet-unanswered ‘cliffhanger’ than the existing ending gives us already, considering neither Rey or Luke said anything to each other!

Just to clarify, I’m looking on these new ‘Sequel Trilogy’ movies as if they’re the ‘second-half’ of ONE complete storyline, and the ‘conclusion’ of the overall ‘saga’ of Luke Skywalker in particular (whereas the ‘first half’ of the story was comprised of the ‘Original Trilogy’ movies) - and I don’t necessarily need to see Luke’s physical involvement in the first instalment of this ‘second-half’ of the overall story - meaning I’m equally content to have him just ‘mentioned’ in the initial scroll, and only ‘discussed’ by others in this first ‘Sequel Trilogy’ instalment…because we’ll eventually get to see his ongoing storyline played out to it’s conclusion across the next 2 instalments anyway, I presume.

And I’ve described my ideal ‘viewing order’ for how I’d eventually watch this whole storyline (while including re-edited versions of the prequels as a ‘flashback’ storyline MID-WAY through), on this page here recently - www.originaltrilogy.com/topic/What-is-your-personal-canon/id/50203/page/4

 

Author
Time

Don’t know (or much care) if it has been mentioned here before, but it seems like it shouldn’t be hard and could be very effective to restore the shot where Kylo Ren ignites his saber in the snow from the trailer just prior to facing Finn and Rey. Personally, it is an effective shot, and I’m not sure why it was removed.

Author
Time

If you look, he’s wearing his hood, and possibly his mask too. It would be kind of difficult to reimplement seamlessly. It doesn’t really fit the mood or situation either. Just my two cents.

digmodification.wordpress.com

Author
Time

Been playing with Jackpumpkinhead’s crawl generator, and wrote a crawl for TFA based in part by ones in this thread:

Episode VII
THE FORCE AWAKENS

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the fractured Empire.

Failing to convince the New Republic of this looming threat, General Leia Organs mobilizes a brave RESISTANCE to gather allies from the farthest reaches of the galaxy.

Desperate for her brother’s help, Leia has sent her most daring pilot on a covert mission to Jakku, where a clue has been discovered to the whereabouts of the last Jedi…

Author
Time

Hey all, just been plotting through my own notes on how I’m going to go about a re-edit of The Force Awakens and was having a read of this thread to see if there’s any glaring omissions I’ve made or any ideas of mine other people have tried that haven’t worked. I’m pretty confident mine should be workable!

The main things I’m doing are:

  • Cutting the Han/Ben reveal in the first Snoke scene and saving it for the Han/Ben showdown. I feel very strongly about this, and it would add a whole new level of drama to Han’s last scene - “BEN!” can be the wham line where the penny drops for the audience - and it would also add some texture and rewatch factor to the film. This means I also have to tweak a few other lines throughout the movie, and the one major re-think I have to do is Han and Leia’s interactions on D’Qar. I’ve come up with an idea of how to put “bring him home” to an entirely new purpose though!
  • Adding/changing music. I’m a huge Williams afficionado but I’ll be the first to acknowledge he’s no longer in his prime and there were a few easy misses in the film. There’s a lot of unused music floating around out there as well which I plan to re-insert. Hux’s speech has an unused piece which transforms the scene.
  • Saving the “map to Luke” reveal until Poe drops the line and accentuating that moment, as I see others have thought of as well. Makes more dramatic sense this way.
  • Re-inserting some but not all of the deleted scenes - definitely putting both Leia scenes and the Falcon/Kylo scene back in, I will try more and see if they like them in the film.
  • Some characterisation changes that jump out as mistakes in the film - Rey is not going to consider selling BB8 in this edit, Threepio isn’t going to say “princesses!” (god, I hate that line) and Chewbacca is going to be much angrier and wilder when Han dies.
  • A lot of trailer shots going back in - most notably the iconic lightsaber ignition shot, and a few close-ups I liked that slot back in easily.
  • No “R2 is asleep” subplot", he only appears at the end.
  • Extensive changes to Rey’s vision.

I’ll make a proper thread soon once I’ve got a draft done but these are the big changes, and there’s many many smaller ones. Fingers crossed it’s not an impossible task…

Author
Time

^Sounds like we have very similar ideas. I’d be interested in seeing your draft. What are your extensive changes to Rey’s vision? What is the source of your Hux speech queue? I used some music from The Force Unleashed. I thought I had all the available Force Awakens queues. I’m unaware of an alternate for Hux’s speech.

digmodification.wordpress.com