Oh, and since TCW:R is all complete now and officially listed on IFDB, if you’ve watched and enjoyed the show, I’d really appreciate a review!

❤️

Some more thoughts on my watch through

Dreams of Destiny:

Watched this with my wife yesterday morning, so here are our thoughts:

The finale tease didn’t work for us at all. Every other time we cut back and forth between FoD & TotJ it’s between pieces of the present, and this finale teaser feels like it is intended to place us in the timeline. I would cut it.

Ending on FoD footage after starting with TotJ footage might also seem weird, but you would end with Anakin telling her he is proud of her after refusing to say anything nice at the start. I edited this for us and we prefer it.

I was also really bothered by seeing Ahsoka’s second lightsaber on her hip in the first FoD clip you used, that FoD episode also has Ahsoka indicate she knows about Anakin/Padme which contradicts a few lines in Politics of War. While also saying that Anakin and Padme are a lot of like, which she says word for word in PoW episode.So I would potentially pick one or the other to trim, or even remove the short.

We see her training with them in FoD clip but it doesn’t cut back to her using them in the TotJ footage.

The FoD footage of her training Yoda ends with a platitude about “taking the training and making it her own” which feels VERY kid show. If you cut out him saying that bit you would have Yoda telling Ahsoka well done and her saying Thank You. I tried it and I think it works.

I also think a better title would be Interlude: Ahsoka. Dreams of Destiny doesn’t work for me.

Slaves of Zygerria:

This episode really felt weird without Kidnapped. I know it would make it longer, but in our opinion the arc and your editing earn that runtime. It is the only time that we really see any thematic exploration of the slavery issue after TPM.

In the Refocused episode as it exists Obi-Wan recognizes the Governor and the Slaver Prime minister recognizes Obi-Wan, both from cut material. Plus the context of them doing all this to save Ahsoka’s people felt like it came out of nowhere.

And the conversation with Obi-Wan telling Ahsoka about Anakin’s past is an important piece of character work imo.

Finally this is the first episode with them all together after the Rako Hardeen shenanigans so giving it the longer runtime feels earned.

My wife and ended up watching Kidnapped anyway because it felt like needed context, plus there are some excellent Anakin & Ahsoka action sequences.

Am I correct in assuming that this is the plan for the Extended Edition? To treat it as a short movie of sorts?

You could trim some of their search for the missing Togruta (but not much because they have some great action to do) and heavily cutdown Kenobi’s negotiations and fight with the slaver guy. We played around with it and the last scene of Kidnapped flows right into the first one of Slaves of Zygerria.

I would also cut Ahsoka asking why she is dressed as the slave(and Anakin’s response), because with “Kidnapped” they have the context that her people have been stolen so the viewer can put together why it is her. Plus it feels like a weird moment of joking about something that he doesn’t joke about AT ALL in the rest of the arc/episode.

Politics of War & Shadow of Geonosis:

Padme’s attitude toward the idea of Clovis working with the separatists feels somewhat inconsistent with her maintaining a friendship with Mina and being willing to travel behind enemy lines to meet with her. At most it seems she would upset about the implications of him working with the seppi military. Because she herself could easily have been the target of Jedi suspicion regarding her connection to the seps, it makes no sense for her to agree to spy on him simply because he may be in contact with the separatists. Honestly it almost seems like it would be better to cut everything before she is briefed by the Council and include the reasoning for her spying in the crawl.

Thanks Del, I really appreciate the feedback. I’m doing yet another full watchthrough, with a friend, and will bear all of this in mind as I do so.

Happy to offer thoughts!

Some additional MicroSeries thoughts:

Windu’s Dantooine stuff would work as a great interlude before Terror of Geonosis, since the Padawans are sent as relief for Windu on Dantooine

The Barriss & Luminara and Yoda & Padme episodes would also work nicely after the Younglings stuff. For one, having Ilum messed up so close to wars end raises stakes, and also doesn’t get in the way of the the younglings getting Crystals from Ilum.
And I think having Barriss get knighted just before she attacks the temple also heightens the emotional stakes.

Temptations & Onderon:

Despite enjoying Ahsoka having a crush the first time I watched TCW, I continue to think it’s executed badly.

The ending scene of Temptations could be trimmed to convey the same emotion without the over the top aspect. I may make a mock up.

I would also cut the zoom in on Ahsoka’s wide eyes when she sees Lux in Temptations and Rebels of Onderon.

Finally, in Kings there is nothing left of the romantic tension from Temptations/Rebels so I would trim it even more in those episodes. Let us get the impression that Ahsoka is simply attached to her frirnd & students, as teaching has become something she has become increasingly invested in. And with her response to Steela kissing Lux, her crush reactions earlier feel weird.

Soon I’m gonna write up my thoughts on Ahsoka’s Refocused arc.

I realize you’re basically considering the episodes complete, so if any of this is too much, I can work some of it up myself.

Younglings:
I think The Gathering could be edited down and potentially paired with the Ilum content from the MicroSeries as a “Adventures on Ilum” Interlude

The Ancient Architect

I think you could cut the younglings trying to rescue Ahsoka WAY down. I would cut them auditioning for the circus, and just go from them saying they want to join to the performance, which needs trimming. Once she is captured too much of this episode is off of her for an arc where Hondo is threatening to sell Ahsoka into (sex) slavery.

After the younglings make their sabers and are heading to the ships, I would cut the two kids doing cool lightsaber stuff, as they shouldn’t really know how yet, by their own admission earlier in the episode

Also, the crawl references Mustafar, which we haven’t been too since the end of S1. Without visuals, this is a really long long time later to call back to it. “Hunted” is way more fresh in a viewers mind, so I would make her motivations a reference to that episode.

This is all great Del, please keep it coming! This edit is NEVER complete, I’ll always be tweaking it. And I plan to read through this thread in full again soonish to make sure I’ve caught everything. I already have eight existing episodes with at least little tweaks planned, and nearly got round to some this weekend. Feel free to mock stuff up (or cleanly edit the episodes/sequences and send them back complete if you feel like going that far!) - I’ll fully credit you in any such case. But worst case I’ll get round to it all eventually!

Also, since Mike Chen (author of Brotherhood) was trying to honor the 03 Clone Wars series with his novel and leave place for most of it to still be canon-ish, I think a further adjust to the opening of Dark Forces Rising is necessary. In the original Palpatine essentially forces Anakin into the role of Padawan-Commander with Yoda abd Obi-wan disagreeing, and we changed it so that Palps suggests it and Yoda and Obi-wan agree immediately. The original

I’m proposing that we cut that scene completely and modify the crawl to reference the fact that Palpatine had just proposed the “Jedi-Military Integration Act” that formally created the rank of Jedi General and Commander. It was explicitly Palpatine’s idea to put Padawans (often children) on the battlefield as commanders.

Especially since he later desires to “remove the Jedi from as many military matters as possible” it helps highlight how much he’s controlled this the entire time.

Also, if you think they’re up to snuff, or can get there with polish, I’d love to see my RotS/Fall of the Republic episodes be considered as official “alternative” episodes for the finale.

The Living Force:

My wife and I loved the dream at the start of the episode, that was easily the best editing choice and was extremely compelling.

I also liked the framing around Qui-Gon, but I disliked losing the visual of the Mortis Tho Yor (double pyramid). Making it all a vision makes sense, but I think too much was cut.

Overall the rest of this episode felt so rushed. I get that not everyone likes the mystical stuff, but we lost the establishing lines for the Mortis Gods. The roles of Son & Daughter are just barely established but without their names, and I was left wondering why the DarknSideGuy cared when he killed the LightSideLady.

Three moments I think have to be restored in their order:

We really missed the test the Father had Anakin perform.

Ahsoka getting turned & Ahsoka waking up are necessary moments, imo. This is the last episode before Ahsoka’s Fall, and we lost the emotional moments between her and Anakin. We need to see him choosing not to tell her she was dead.

I don’t entirely hate cutting Anakin turning, but I still miss it.

This is the only episode of Refocused that my wife and I have not enjoyed. The episode feels hollow because the stakes are not established. Why does any of this matter? The Father killing himself came out of no where to us.

I was left overwhelmingly with the question of “Why?”

We ended plugging in the original episodes and watching them because this ended up being a disappointing watching experience. Another issue this raised was how much of Ahsoka got cut, that was arguably the most frustating aspect of the edit for us.

I’m gonna make an alternative version and we’ll see what happens with that.

EDIT:
I did as I said!

Presenting an alternative extended episode that runs at 48 minutes, entitled: The Chosen One.
I used some of TLF’s structure with the following adjustments:

Replaced the opening dream with a dream of Anakin controlling the Son & Daughterin the arena.
Left in all references to Son & Daughter’s names
Restored scene where Anakin accuses Father of being a Sith with minor trims, including a reference to being anchorites and testing Anakin
Restored Ahsoka being turned by Son
After Ahsoka is revived restored Father telling the group to leave
Recolored them boarding the ship from the end of Overlords and crafted a crashing sequence to get into the material from episode 3
Cut Anakin going to the well, instead he has the dream originally used earlier and wakes up in the Monastery to deal with the Son
Everything proceeds as before, but with references to the Son trying to leave intact. Without them being anchorites hiding away this is easily read as the embodiment of the darkside wanting to be free from wherever they are.

The main thing this alternate extended episode does is restore some of the reality of what is happening for those who like the mystical stuff, and leaves as much of Ahsoka’s stuff in the episode as possible. The latter being a necessity imo so close to her last episodes for half a season.

If I ever find myself with a significant amount of free time I’d think about it, but it’s faaar down the path tbh. This Ahsoka episode worked because, as a focused recap, I was able to bypass a lot of plot. But that plot is still necessary to Rebels as a wider story, which makes it incompatible. I do think that Rebels works best as a TV show- or at least that moviefying it would be a significantly challenging task.

So after reading Brotherhood, which takes place chronologically after Refocused Ep00: Dark Forces Rising and before The New Padawan, I wanted to try and include some of the pertinent info from that book in the crawl for New Padawan, namely that the Senate has passed the Jedi-Military integration act officially giving Knights & Padawans ranks that were previously only defacto and that the Jedi Council has decided to forgo the selection process and start assigning Padawans.

so here is a draft:

Conflicts erupt in the early days of the Clone Wars.

Against the will of the Jedi Council the Senate has officially integrated the Jedi Order into the Grand Army of the Republic.

Newly minted Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker and his former master Obi-Wan Kenobi lead the 501st Clone legion to defend the world of Christophsis.

Count Dooku’s fleet has forced the Republic’s ships to flee to a nearby moon, causing fears of an imminent invasion.

But having detected the signal of Dooku’s agent, ASSAJ VENTRESS, a priority target, the Jedi rush to capture her.

And the Jedi High Council has plans of its own…

Oh, I like this a lot. I’m not too big on making TCW match to more supplementary media, but I like all of these points. I’ll add it to the growing pile of small polishes.

For me it’s really only because this book is directly trying to setup TCW, and the fact that later during Ahsoka’s Trial Palps is gonna be pushing to separate the Jedi & Military that these points seems genuinely important. Otherwise I’d agree. There’s no point in trying to shoehorn Barriss’ time as a battlefield medic into her TCW story, for example.

Requests for polish?

Hey all, I’ve got a good slab of time coming up, and plan to make a few changes to at least a handful of episodes. Just small tweaks mostly, though some will be a little larger. I’ll be combing through all historical feedback from all sources, but if anyone’s got anything they’d like to highlight or prioritise (even things I’m already aware of) now’s a great time to share it.

Some examples:

• Rebels recap: Fix early audio desync
• Hand of Greed / Scipio: Remove fireside scene (and include it on the spreadsheet as a separate thing)
• Umbara: Fix a couple of wipes
• Hunted arc: Possibly tighten edit throughout for improved pacing
• Heroes on Both Sides arc: Reintroduce Grievous sending the bomber droids
• Tales of the Lost Clones: Make titles consistent with preludes, codas, etc
• Lair of Grievous / Massacre: Fix one dodgy line, add radio sound to some dialogue
• Ryloth: Remove a few wipes, move ‘bomb them’ dialogue to more appropriate location
• Order 66: Remove scene of the Jedi and Palpatine discussing bringing Tup to the medical centre, possibly reintroduce explicit drugging
• Domino Squad: Revisit act one, smooth transition to act two
• Duchess of Mandalore: Move elevator hyperspace shot to give Satine’s captor more time to escape
• Ahsoka’s Fall: Add reference to secret hyperspace route (light payoff to Citadel arc)
• Various: Check ending music transitions and polish where possible
• Various: Produce extended versions of episodes
• Review: Watch Delpheas’ alternate Mortis, and if it’s consistent with TCW and high quality, include on spreadsheet as alternate cut

Right, I’m gathering notes from all prior sources of feedback, and smoothing out my pipeline for making small polishes more easily and with minimal mental effort, so I can just pick up quick changes over the next few weeks.

For now:

• I’ve re-uploaded the Rebels Recap movie with fixed audio sync in the first ten minutes
• I’ve pulled the Ahsoka’s Decision fan remade scene out of the Scipio episode, but made both available in the spreadsheet (this one’s still uploading)
• I’ve fixed a typo in the A Friend in Need episode (still rendering)

More than happy to fix anything in my Mortis’ episode if it needs it. Same with RotS.

I personally wouldn’t want much of anything trimmed from Hunted, that episode felt like such a good expose of Ahsoka’s abilities, and placed where it is, feels like it is setting up for Yoda to be considering her for elevation.

Anyway, we’re watching the last two episodes before the finale soon. We’ll see what feedback we have 😃

Well if you’re taking suggestions.

I’d like to see perhaps a few extended versions, those being Umbara, The Death of Obi Wan Kenobi, Slaves of Zygerria, and It may require making an entirely new episode, but I’d love for more Ryloth content as that plotline to me felt the most rushed in the show.

For new episodes (If you’re taking requests) I’d love to see the Younglings Crystal arc in this, and Grevious Intrigue.

Also I could be crazy, but to me it looks like near the end of the S4E05 - Deliverance, that the audio sync is a little off. This could be me taking crazy pills though.

EDIT: If taking episode requests would also enjoy seeing the Zilo Beast (If that’s something you’re interested in)

A bunch of what you’ve requested is planned, namely the Extended episodes. As for the Younglings Crystal arc, I’m making the visit to Ilum into a TotJ style short, but everything after with the pirates is included. Just check the bonus episodes section of the sheet.

I’m aware, I’m just listing what I viewed as higher priority than the others that are planned.

Yep, all noted! I’ll prioritise those changes too, so preferences are welcome!

Looking over EddieDeans The Clone Wars: Refocused spreadsheet creation for the first time!..

Just watched Prologue: Life and Death & a few of the first episodes and coming from someone that simply just couldn’t get into The Clone Wars, This way of watching them just simply works. I’ll give my full review at IFDB once I’ve finished it all. Thank you EddieDean for this 👍

One of the more important and fascinating The Clone Wars stories that ended up on the Legacy floor, but which was turned into a book is Dark Disciple. While it didn’t get the comic book treatment like Son of Dathomir and therefore isn’t watchable as an audio-comic in the same way, a still in-progress audiodrama is being produced. The first six episodes are available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcIP-OB-uBY&list=PL-m56XZI5FCjrEyWNGCe2VZp6iMoOFbyH

And I think they are phenomenal, excellent performances all ‘round. Maybe worth noting in the spreadsheet, especially since the story is where the council confirms that Dooku is the Sith Apprentice once and for all, and where Ventress’ final story is told.

Oh I love this! I will mention it.

Cheers for the feedback Sean Sterio.

To your points:

• I agree, this episode is fairly rushed and doesn’t quite hang together well enough to be something you’d imagine seeing on TV. The pacing is quick, especially the wrap-up (with Bail Organa’s radio call at the end). It’s the episode that’s taken the most work and the most iteration, but since the original episode’s content was so very poor, I’ve really had to settle here for getting us through it as quickly as possible. I think doing that, plus warning viewers that it’s not great, so they can just get through it and on to better content, is the lesser of the available evils. That said, I’m always open to tangible improvements if anyone has further ideas they’d like to demonstrate.
• Regarding Ahsoka, I’m fairly confident that I’ve included the vast majority of her interactions with Anakin and her ‘snippiness’. I’ve trimmed a small number of her most outstanding annoyances here, but nothing material, and left most of it in, because, as you say, we need to see her develop and mature from this baseline. The remaining early season one episodes preserve more of the snips/sky-guy behaviour. Maintaining her growth was key - I just sought to minimise those elements which first put people off her right from the beginning.
• As for Ventress, this is kind of how the original played out. If you watch the originals in chronological order, Ventress is there to distract the Jedi in order to enable the invasion fleet to land, then she just disappears from the story - in the original, it’s to go steal Jabba’s son, whereas in my version, it’s feasibly to go prepare to rescue Nute Gunray (though I have considered putting the scene where she’s given that mission into this one). But in a lot of ways this is an issue with the original content. It was important to me to include Ventress in this episode because she is a strong presence in my first season.
• Regarding the droids, I haven’t trimmed them much. Many have requested that I cut out their voices altogether, but I think that’s impossible as some of their dialogue in various episodes carries important plot information. And I don’t find them as bad as some do. So I’ve trimmed their highest goofiness, whilst preserving a good amount of it.

Either way, thank you for your feedback - I hope you continue with the show, because this episode is easily the weakest and the rest get much stronger quickly. I’d be very interested to see others’ interpretations of that first episode, but I think I’ve taken it as far as I can myself.

Keep it coming!