TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 52

Hal 9000 said:

(I know my life will be radically different after my wife and I have our first child in February.)

I’d say for the Snoke scene, the only thing we’d need is to have the first shot, made to look like Hux is standing there rather than Ren. (If possible; I don’t know how you pull off graphical wizardry like this.)

Wow, congratulations! 😃

Sure, I’ll Hux it up.

NeverarGreat said:

I suggested at one point having some sort of sound effect (ANH Star Destroyer flyover?) but I don’t know what SirRidley’s cooking up for that.

I’m adding engine noises, but I’ll look into adding a hyperspace exit thump.

DominicCobb said:

NeverarGreat said:

Jump St version 2:
https://vimeo.com/245234854
Password: jump

Seems just about perfect to me.

I think the “falcon breaking down” noise could be a little louder as they drop out of hyperspace, I barely heard it as the ship moves away from the camera. I definitely like the idea though.

I also found the sudden cut after Finn asks whats wrong with it to be a bit jarring, dont know whether its worth allowing Rey to answer first and then cut to the falcon dropping from Hyperspace with the break down noise playing as it actually drops out, being the cause of it dropping from hyperspace?

.Val

It is indeed better, with a more epic and dramatic feeling. The mix is a little bit off but this is definitely a very good idea to use Dom’s suggestion here. And this solution is far better than using the Ackbar “still functional” scene.

So glad this awesome project is reaching its end 😃 ! (v2 was lauched this january !)

I actually feel like Hal’s first attempt with my idea was closer to it, on his second one the music was a bit drowned. I wouldn’t be afraid to raise the dialogue, rather than lower the music. As for Neverar, I think half the point (in my mind anyway) of the music change is that the “Snoke theme” kills the pacing and the mood. If anything I’d say we should be looking for ways to trim the scene down so it doesn’t feel like it wasn’t envisioned as part of the climax (which the Snoke music makes plainly obvious, I feel).

Well I don’t think I agree with that, still pretty certain this is the most efficient and effective solution.

DominicCobb said:

If anything I’d say we should be looking for ways to trim the scene down so it doesn’t feel like it wasn’t envisioned as part of the climax (which the Snoke music makes plainly obvious, I feel).

Instead of having Snoke say, “It is time” at the beginning, could we possibly swap it out with something like “Now, the Resistance must be destroyed before they reach Skywalker.” It would infer that Hux told him the success of the first attack, and I think he uses the word “now” in one of his scenes, I’ll have to double check where.

Or, cut that line entirely and have Hux start with, “Supreme Leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.” Taking “Supreme Leader” from another scene.

Might be worth another attempt.

How about:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them once and for all. The resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Or shorter:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Sir Ridley said:

How about:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them once and for all. The resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Or shorter:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Even shorter:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked them to the Ileenium system.” [if “them” can be created]
“Good, then we will crush them before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Might be good to keep a mention of the resistance for clarity.

“Good, then we will crush the resistance before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Yeah you’re right, I forgot to keep a resistance mention to make it work. Any of the solutions you’ve posted is good anyway 😃

Here’s the new audio for the deleted scene, as a 5.1 channel wav. It’s just the “added” parts that I got from Hal so it’s quiet in the beginning and end where the “original film audio” is supposed to go.

https://mega.nz/#!Ccs2XCKZ!2BWt83ehRxzR1o5yqcZMLwBQLCS82YnrfsMxaxKnwVA

I’m currently uploading the crawl as well.

NeverarGreat said:

This was one of the most jarring transitions in the theatrical version as well, since Rey doesn’t answer in this scene. The new shot actually provides more of a buffer between scenes, which is why I put it there.

The other option of having it fall out of Hyperspace between Rey saying “Help me with this, quick!” and “What’s going on?” breaks the scene up even more.

I agree that there could be a louder breaking sound just as it exits hyperspace.

Ah k, didn’t realise that’s how it is in the movie as well (obviously two viewings is not enough to remember such details 😛 ). It is an odd cut, I wonder if it’s a theatrical edit and she did actually originally reply.

I just rewatched your version 3 and didn’t find it as jarring this time through. Though it really seems as if their lines simply should have originally been flipped, with Finn saying “what’s going on!?” as the steam starts venting and then Rey saying “help me with this!”

.Val

Hal 9000 said:

FanTASTIC! That’s unbelievably flawless work. It’s almost a shame, since anyone who would break apart this edit to look for seams would never imagine the deleted scene was not originally supplied in full 5.1.

Haha, that’s true. Thank you.

I’m currently uploading the crawl as well as Maz’s Castle, my internet is a bit slow so I’ll let it upload overnight and then I can send the links tomorrow. And then I’ll see what I can do with the Snoke scene.