TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 49

This current idea is pretty eloquent which could be pretty smooth if the transitions are smoothed out, slightly. When I watched those it wasn’t too jarring. Just edit some sounds/music and it could work fine. Even some transition wipes would work too.

I do like the goal of this project idea to have the base fire once. The resistance both succeeded and failed at the end at the same time.

As another edit, maybe Never’s starlight project would be a good fit for it.

Here’s an idea: cut back to the Resistance planning room right after Snoke says “Bring her to me.” Since they’ve just been talking about the reconnaissance ship and the Resistance Base, it makes a lot of sense. Then after the Han/Leia farewell scene show the establishing shot of the TIE’s over the the Starkiller Base mountains from earlier (where I assume it’s been deleted in favor of the planetary establishing shot), then cut to Rey’s mind trick scene. This also gives Rey more time to figure out how to mind trick the guard and less time aimlessly wandering around the base.

@Dominic: I think sometimes we worry too much about confusing the audience. I know I do 😉 But the plan before the reconnaissance ship was to destroy the Republic, so it’s pretty clear that it’s still in their crosshairs.

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s an idea: cut back to the Resistance planning room right after Snoke says “Bring her to me.” Since they’ve just been talking about the reconnaissance ship and the Resistance Base, it makes a lot of sense. Then after the Han/Leia farewell scene show the establishing shot of the TIE’s over the the Starkiller Base mountains from earlier (where I assume it’s been deleted in favor of the planetary establishing shot), then cut to Rey’s mind trick scene. This also gives Rey more time to figure out how to mind trick the guard and less time aimlessly wandering around the base.

Ohhhh, that sounds like it flows better based on the conversations of characters.

Hmmmm… that’s not really much better. Poe starts talking immediately, so I’m afraid it’s going to feel less than ideal to transition into that scene from any other than the weapon charging scene. (The audio at the end of that scene is the same audio that transitions into that scene originally.)
I’d say, “Oh, well,” but you bring up a good point that the First Order probably should express awareness of the Resistance base’s location at some point.

Here’s the sequence I’m looking at:

Resistance Base
Weapon Charging
Battle Plans
Farewell
Rey’s Interrogation
Snoke
Rey Escapes
Landing at Hyperspace

Since the bolded sections must stay together, Rey’s interrogation must fall on one side of them or the other. I feel like we’re away from her almost too long in the Theatrical version, so at least part of the interrogation should happen before the weapon charging. However, since Snoke’s scene should happen after the charging, there’s no natural way to include her in this section of the film. That’s a problem if Rey’s still supposed to be the main character.

So either the bolded section must be split somehow, or Rey’s interrogation must be split into two sections, with one before the bolded section.

Here’s an old mockup of how such a split could happen, just disregard the sequence: https://vimeo.com/214598035
Password: learning

Hmmm… that ordering is probably the least problematic way to include the Republic/Resistance tension you brought up, though I share your reservations about it, but it might be okay to be away from Rey for a while if it sidesteps the other problems.

Meanwhile, here’s an earnest attempt at an earlier, alternate solution to this problem:
https://vimeo.com/244748972
password: snoke

JEDIT: NeverarGreat, that clip contains some interesting ideas. I like how you have Rey gradually discover her abilities, and build tension as Kylo Ren stomps toward her cell.

Neverar - Very fascinating concept of breaking things up. The mockup video had some good ideas and I would agree with Hal its ok to be away from Rey a bit. Hmmmm. Obviously from your list and parts of the mockup video one of the obvious issues is the who helmet and pacing for Ren being off and on like crazy. 😉

For Hal, that alternate solution can work since it now gives a reason to target the resistance since their main objective has been completed … time for the next one.

The clip I just posted is about as good as that can be pulled off (by me, at present). Treat it as a candidate for a final product, not a mockup. (I.e., if it doesn’t sound or feel right, let me know.)

I am leaning toward this ‘alternate, older’ solution, so I’d say hold off an doing work yourself unless we determine it’s that route or bust.

First of all, good job on the scene, it’s as good as I could imagine it getting with the resources at our disposal.

However, the reason I abandoned that short Snoke scene was because there were too many weird things about it, such as the complete lack of acknowledgement about the Republic’s destruction, further keeping Snoke in the dark about First Order information (when were they going to tell him about that reconnaissance ship?!), and the brevity of the scene makes it seem too perfunctory and ad hoc. It’s certainly serviceable though, so it’s better than nothing if it comes to that.

JEDIT:
I’m glad people like the Starlight mockups. I’m a big fan of keeping the focus on Rey as much as possible, and trying to imply that she’s learning over an extended period of time through Ren’s interrogations. Even though the discussion has moved on a bit, I had made this mockup just this morning:
https://vimeo.com/244699807
Password: rey

This follows the sequence:
Resistance Base
Weapon Charging
Interrogations
Snoke (reconnaissance tracking)
Failed Mind Trick
Battle Plans
Farewells
Successful Mind Trick
Landing from Hyperspace

Of course, the necessity of keeping the charging-Battle Plans connection renders this rather moot.

Neverar I like that mock up a lot!

Hal 9000 said:

Hmmm… that ordering is probably the least problematic way to include the Republic/Resistance tension you brought up, though I share your reservations about it, but it might be okay to be away from Rey for a while if it sidesteps the other problems.

Meanwhile, here’s an earnest attempt at an earlier, alternate solution to this problem:
https://vimeo.com/244748972
password: snoke

I don’t know. That seems to have Ren getting from A to B to C almost unrealistically quickly. Granted some amount of time could occur between cuts, but the music doesn’t even change so the scenes flow together suggesting they’re relatively close timewise.

The scene in the original version is actually shorter, so it really comes down to the music tying it together. It really needs a final note when Rey and Finn exit the oscillator, and a beat before Snoke starts talking. I think that would make it sound like there was more of a time difference between the scenes.

If everyone’s okay with being away from Rey for a while, the scene reordering becomes more simple:

Resistance Base
Weapon Charging
Battle Plans
Farewells
Interrogation
Snoke

Not knowing what’s happening with Kylo and Rey may be a good thing, since the focus would be on Finn and his plan to get Rey. As it is, Finn concocts a desperate plan to save Rey when we know she’s already escaped and is in the process of finding a ship to escape.

So if we wanted to make this a more dramatic rescue (Read: ignore because I get carried away), the next scenes could play out like this:

Snoke
Landing at Lightspeed
Rey’s Failed Mind Trick
Lowering the Shields
Preparing to Storm the Detention Block (ending with “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” “Hell no.”)
Rey’s Escape
Hangars on Lockdown
Rejoining Rey

It would keep us from bouncing around by your current idea.

I’m not sure about the idea for restructuring Rey’s escape for the moment, but here is what NeverarGreat’s proposed ordering of scenes would look like:

Resistance Base
Weapon Charging
Battle Plans
Farewells
Interrogation
Snoke
Landing at Lightspeed

password for all clips: scene

https://vimeo.com/244917129
https://vimeo.com/244935753
https://vimeo.com/244935797

Looks like all these transitions would work well - I think the TIEs over the mountains establishing shot would help with Rey’s introduction though, and the transition from Han to the base is a little odd. Too quick, maybe?

The thing about these is each is as long as the source material will allow, and I could only shorten them from here. I can try using the TIE mountain establishing shot and see how that plays.