TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 15

Now that we only have the Stardestroyer in the scene I think that my proposed music (heard in Sir Ridley’s mock-ups) is no longer a good choice for the scene. Instead we need something more menacing but not an action theme. Any ideas?

Also, I’ve thought about improving the Republic-Resistance-relationship. Maybe that’s outside of what this edit aims to do, but I think that the restructure allows to do this much better than the theatralic cut. So here’s what I think could be done:
First of all, the crawl could be written a little better in this regard to show that the Republic is not supporting the Resistance but instead hesitates to do anything.
Then in the briefing scene have someone ask: “Will the Republic send help?” and someone else (ideally Leia) would answer: “No.” Then 3PO would have his “Without the Republic fleet we’re doomed.” line and the briefing would go on.
And a little later, probably before the Falcon arrives at Starkiller Base we’d insert the Leia and the Resistance deleted scene where Leia sends Korr Sella to try and persuade the Republic once more. The one problem here would be that Korr would have to teleport to Hosnian Prime in order to be there for its destruction^^ So maybe that scene has to be placed earlier, but I don’t know where.

RogueLeader said:

I know this is a gentle restructure, but this would be a nice to shot to have reinserted into someone’s edit too.

Is there a thread where I can find these unused clips in good quality? I found the shot in question, but perhaps someone has a list or something.

About the Maz’s castle attack scene, here are the changes needed (as I see it now):

• Lone Star Destroyer
• Alternate music and sound
• “They’ve found us”

Optional:
• Remove sunset TIE shot
• Regrade outdoor scenes to evening/sunset
• Change Maz’s line “Those beasts! They’re here.”
• Put back cool X-wing shots from trailers in the battle

I tried the Kylo shuttle idea, it looks fine but doesn’t really work after all, so I’m on board with only the Star Destroyer. I’ll revise my edits and see what we get.

I’d be very interested to know more about your own edit since I believe TFA needs as much fanedit work as the PT (so something like removing around 20 minutes). When “Restructure v2.0” is released are you going to open your own thread ?

Optional:
Remove sunset TIE shot

Noooooooooo 😦

Regrade outdoor scenes to evening/sunset

Why not. TFA looks fine but it could look better.

Change Maz’s line “Those beasts! They’re here.”

My man 😃

Put back cool X-wing shots from trailers in the battle

Good call here. I know someone already made it in his own edit.

MalàStrana said:

I’d be very interested to know more about your own edit since I believe TFA needs as much fanedit work as the PT (so something like removing around 20 minutes). When “Restructure v2.0” is released are you going to open your own thread ?

Optional:
Remove sunset TIE shot

Noooooooooo 😦

Regrade outdoor scenes to evening/sunset

Why not. TFA looks fine but it could look better.

Change Maz’s line “Those beasts! They’re here.”

My man 😃

Put back cool X-wing shots from trailers in the battle

Good call here. I know someone already made it in his own edit.

I guess I’ll open my own thread sooner or later, but for now I’ll stick to helping with Restructured. And about the changes, they are under “optional” because they are either unnecessary or controversial, so everyone will have to make up their own mind about them. Personally I’m thinking about removing the sunset, unless the grading of surrounding scenes make it more convincing. I might leave Maz’s line as it is, as it seems to make sense with the lone Star Destroyer, or possibly just remove “Those beasts!”. The extra X-wings are obviously not necessary for Restructured, but I put them in because it was mentioned earlier.

About my own edit, I’m not removing 20 minutes. So far I’ve removed about 2 minutes (mostly of the Rathtars, and some minor cuts). I think the movie is mostly great as it is, with some minor annoyances, so besides what HAL has already done I’m making small cuts, small additions, visual adjustments and other things where I feel it’s needed.

Hal 9000 said:

I’d be in favor of this. This project is a restructuring of the SKB plot, and so there’s no need to apologize for proposing suggestions related to it.
I’ve posted before about a née crawl, very similar to the original one, that includes a few political descriptors. The First Order rising “in secret,” and Leia “failing to convince the New Republic of this looming threat…”

I quite like that.
But there’s still the question of where to put the Leia and the Resistance scene since the Takodana sequence is quite short and also seems to take little time in universe. From what I can tell, all the Takodana scenes take place back to back 😕

Sir Ridley said:

About the Maz’s castle attack scene, here are the changes needed (as I see it now):

• Lone Star Destroyer
• Alternate music and sound
• “They’ve found us”

Optional:
• Remove sunset TIE shot
• Regrade outdoor scenes to evening/sunset
• Change Maz’s line “Those beasts! They’re here.”
• Put back cool X-wing shots from trailers in the battle

I tried the Kylo shuttle idea, it looks fine but doesn’t really work after all, so I’m on board with only the Star Destroyer. I’ll revise my edits and see what we get.

I think the regrading is a pretty cool idea and it’d allow us to keep the sunset TIE shot which is pretty cool, so I vote for that.
As I said before, I’d keep both of Maz’s lines.
And I wouldn’t put the trailer shot back in as there is a similar one in the movie and putting it in would require to add music and sound which would be a lot of work and would disrupt the original score. So I think there isn’t enough benefit for the problems is causes.

NeverarGreat said:

Okay, I can see what can be done with the sunset battle idea in full.

While watching V1, my friends and I were discussing a possible edit that hasn’t been mentioned here, so I’ll just mention it: Poe’s survival and arrival at the battle could be more surprising/emotional if his introductory whoop was moved to just after Finn yells “That’s one hell of a pilot!” Then it could quickly cut to “Don’t let these dogs scare you”, so we keep all of his dialogue. Just an idea to chew on.

+1

I guess since Poe is mentionned it’s about time to also talk about the ending, when SKB is destroyed. I would then suggest again to get rid of all the cheers scenes and to directly cut to the bitter scene at the Resistance H.Q. So no “our job here is done” and no “Leia hugs Rey while Chewie is vanishing in the background”.

MalàStrana said:

I guess since Poe is mentionned it’s about time to also talk about the ending, when SKB is destroyed. I would then suggest again to get rid of all the cheers scenes and to directly cut to the bitter scene at the Resistance H.Q. So no “our job here is done” and no “Leia hugs Rey while Chewie is vanishing in the background”.

In my version I’ve done exactly this. “Our work here is done” is cut, and the Leia hug has been cropped to hide Chewie.

Hal 9000 said:

Could you post a clip? I’d be interested to see how it does with the music, before I get all my tools laid out again.

Will do.

https://youtu.be/NQ_r1ttBWhM

There’s a small hiccup in the audio 11 seconds in, but that’s a bug of some sort that can happen at an audio transition when exporting 5.1 surround to stereo, I’ll get rid of it later.

And also, Chewies arm can be seen briefly at the edge of the screen and he is seen in the crowd shot as well. Perhaps this could be covered up, to make it seem like he went straight inside.

Sir Ridley said:

And also, Chewies arm can be seen briefly at the edge of the screen and he is seen in the crowd shot as well. Perhaps this could be covered up, to make it seem like he went straight inside.

I would definitely vote to go ahead and just crop him out. Out of sight, out of mind. And JJ himself said it was a mistake on his part. Great job with the music, too!

Next item! The Rathtars in V2? Would DigMod’s version suffice?

Jackpumpkinhead said:

…removes all references to Kylo being a skywalker until the end.

Waaait a minute… you know something we don’t? 😛

Jackpumpkinhead said:

Hal 9000 said:

I’ve been thinking about the rathtara. Not sure at this point.

Personally, I enjoy the rathtar scene. The only problem I have with it is Finn surviving an encounter with them. If that could be cut I would be happy with it.

Not removing it but trimming it a bit would be enough. A clip was posted a few pages ago and it seemed to work. It also removed the “Han uses Chewie’s blaster for the first time in 45 years” weird moment.