DJ, all people were doing was helping you understand why mono sounds lacklustre on your system. You don't like mono because it plays from your centre speaker only, but ideally mono shouldn't be playing from your centre channel only, so your distaste for it is based on an improper equipment setting. In fact, you could probably set it so that mono sound is played back by all 5 speakers; I don't know if Pro Logic does this or if that was just for two-channel situations, but there may be a solution.
When you see a mono mix in theatres, it isn't just playing from one speaker at the front of the house, it is played back by all the speakers in the building, it's just one discrete channel and so there is no effects separation. A lot of amplified concerts you see have this production--there may be a wall of PAs on stage, but everything coming at you is mixed into one single wave of sound, delivered by multiple speakers but without discrete channels.
Sometimes, mono mixing can be much better than stereo or 5.1 mixing. Most people have only heard the Beatles in the stereo mixes, but the stereo mixes were done after-the-fact, the original releases which are highly prized in the collectors market mixed the sound in mono and are usually considered more natural sounding. I think they released the original mono mixes on CDs a while back though, because of the building demand in the collectors market.
Again, the mono mixes aren't supposed to be played back through a single channel. Like concerts of the day, they are amplified by many speakers, typically two if you have a living room because that is all that is needed to fill the space perceived by your left and right ears. But, there may also be some setting you could play with to utilize the surround speakers, at lower volume levels so as not to disrupt the volume balance, if you want a more "immersive" quality of sound.
Again, no one is trying to paint you as a bad guy or anything. You just haven't really been listening to mono sound in the way it was meant to be heard, like playing back a 5.1 mix through stereo speakers and remarking how out of balance the levels are. That example would yield a more noticeable difference, but all I am saying is that I wouldn't both with mono if it was just putting out through my little centre channel. You need a pair of good, three-way tower or bookshelf speakers, which it seems you have. If you have one of those all-in-one player/receiver home theatre combos your mixing/playback options may be more limited but as I said, it is pretty standard to be able to send the mono signal through more than one speaker. Try it out and see if it sounds more tolerable.