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Random Musings about the Empire Strikes Back Draft Script

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So I read the full ESB draft script by Leigh Brackett. Here’s some random musings that occurred to me when reading this:

  • This draft is not very good, especially compared to the final product. The overall plot is basically the same (Rebels are hiding in a secret ice planet base, the Empire finds them, Luke goes off to train on a swamp planet, Han and Leia survive a space chase and end up at Lando’s floating city, get betrayed by Lando, and Luke shows up and confronts Vader). Despite having the same plot broadly speaking, there really is not a single scene in this draft that would be recognizable if actually filmed.
  • The whole thing feels way more campy or whimsical than ESB. For example, in ESB, Echo Base looks like a practical, functional military base. But in the draft, the base is inside some kind of whimsical ice castle, with secret invisible doors in the ice.
  • The script spends more time on a sub-plot about ice monsters (the Wampas) attacking the base than on the actual Empire attacking the base. Ice monsters attack the base, killing many people, and forcing the rebels to evacuate. While the rebels are evacuating due to the ice monster attack, the Empire also coincidentally shows up at the same time. The ice monsters are almost supernaturally powerful. It’s really stupid.
  • Luke still acts like he does in Episode IV. He is portrayed as immature and inexperienced, compared to the suave, confident and experienced Han. The script implies that part of Luke’s motivation for becoming a Jedi is basically so Leia will take him seriously as a potential romantic partner.
  • There’s a lot more exposition about the state of the Galaxy. There’s a scene where a Rebel commander explains that after the Death Star was destroyed, many systems joined the Rebellion, but the Imperial navy is still very powerful, and is currently spread thin around the Galaxy pursuing rebel cells. This kind of exposition is missing in the final version, requiring us to infer these background details ourselves. (Also the final version seems to imply Echo Base is the only rebel base.)
  • The Force is way more vague. At one point, Darth Vader can force choke Luke from thousands of miles away merely by sensing his presence. Luke only barely escapes by jumping into hyperspace. (In the final draft, Vader force chokes Ozzel from a distance, which is also a bit iffy - but at least it’s implied that Vader has to at least visually see his target in that case.)
  • In this draft, it’s possible to summon a Force Ghost by calling out “By the Force, I call you!”. This is how Luke summons Ben Kenobi’s ghost. This is utterly horrible.
  • There is way more emphasis on the threat of Luke turning to the Dark Side. Since Vader is not Luke’s father in this version, Vader taunts Luke about how he murdered Luke’s father when they fight in Cloud City. This makes Luke very angry, and he begins using the Dark Side. It’s implied that Luke is on the verge of becoming evil from repeated Dark Side usage, but then at the last second Luke stops fighting Vader and throws himself down a shaft (similar to what happens in the final version). I like the final version much better, but it occurred to me that one consequence of merging Vader with Luke’s father was that the threat of Luke turning evil never seemed plausible. In the final version of ESB, Vader is Luke’s father and has nothing to taunt Luke with to inflame his anger and turn him towards the Dark Side. But in this earlier draft, since Vader murdered Luke’s father, Vader is easily able to make Luke angry, causing Luke to embrace the Dark Side.

Interestingly, there’s also some elements in this script that seem to have been recycled as concepts that appeared in the Prequels, decades later. Some examples:

  • Darth Vader (who is not Luke’s father in this version) more explicitly tempts Luke with the power of the Dark Side. In fact, Vader specifically tells Luke that the Dark Side will enable him to “keep those he loves safe from harm”. Earlier it is established that Luke worries a lot about Princess Leia’s safety, and Vader exploits this when tempting Luke. This dynamic is pretty much identical to the way Palpatine tempts Anakin in the Prequels.
  • Cloud City has elements that were almost certainly recycled into Kamino in Attack of the Clones. In the draft, Cloud City (called Orbital City) has tall, pale-white-skinned, native aliens that ride “giant manta-rays”. They also use “pneumatic darts” as weapons. This was obviously recycled as the Kamino aliens. (But the recycling feels a bit clumsy - the Kamino aliens don’t really fit the water-themed environment they inhabit, whereas these native cloud aliens were supposed to feel like airy warriors that dwell in the clouds - hence they use primitive darts. But why would the advanced Kamino aliens use darts?).
  • Yoda (in this draft named “Minch”) uses a lightsaber, and at one point has a mock lightsaber duel with Ben Kenobi’s force ghost. This is the corniest thing ever. I don’t understand how Brackett wrote this thinking it would be filmable. (I don’t know if this scene specifically inspired Lucas to have Yoda fight with a lightsaber in the Prequels; it’s probably more likely that Lucas just thought it would be cool.)
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This is really interesting stuff. It’s weird to think that Darth Vader wasn’t supposed to be the father yet, when there’s so many cool clues in the first movie that work well with it.

Strange how Leigh Brackett gets partial scriptwriting credit if her draft seems this much unlike the final film. I know they wanted to do it to honor her after her passing, but it seems like Kasdan really polished it up so much that,like you said, it seems unrecognizable.

Now, some of the wampa stuff was filmed; did that survive Kasdan’s rewrite?

You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll kiss three bucks goodbye!

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WookieeWarrior77 said:

Now, some of the wampa stuff was filmed; did that survive Kasdan’s rewrite?

I think there were later drafts between Leigh Brackett’s first one and the final script. These were probably much closer to the final version, but still included Wampas invading the base. That’s why those deleted scenes with the Wampas exist. But the Wampa attack on the base in Brackett’s original draft is so dramatically different than even those deleted scenes. In Brackett’s version, the Wampas seem ridiculously powerful and dangerous - they kill dozens of people instantly. Some of these scenes have horror-movie vibes. There’s one scene where you hear over a communicator device as a room full of people are massacred by a Wampa. They’re also very hard to kill. Han shoots at one of them and somehow the Wampa is fast enough to dodge it.

I’m also not sure how Brackett envisioned these creatures, but the script implies they’re more like some kind of ice monster than a giant Yeti. Luke kills one of them with his lightsaber, but the script says that when Luke slashes at it with his lightsaber, the monster turns into a cloud of vapor or something. I have no idea what Brackett is going for here… Are they made of ice? Are they supposed to be supernatural? Did Brackett think that anything that dies from a lightsaber just disappears (like Kenobi in Episode IV)? I’m really not sure what’s going on there.

Regardless, the version of the script that was the source for those deleted Wampa scenes must have been a later revision, written probably by Kasdan between Brackett’s first draft and the final version. It’s funny that ultimately after all these revisions, the final script removes the Wampa stuff entirely (except for the one that attacks Luke). I’m glad they removed it, it’s just weird how significant the Wampa stuff was in the earlier versions.

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I wish they made a comic adaptation of this draft like they did of the rough draft of ANH (“The Star Wars”).

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darklordoftech said:

I wish they made a comic adaptation of this draft like they did of the rough draft of ANH (“The Star Wars”).

I agree, it would be an engaging read.
 

It is such a pity we did not get to her 2nd draft and a polish, that she was contracted to do for the Empire script. Before the cancer took her, just weeks after she turned that first draft in to George.

The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.

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Emre1601 said:

darklordoftech said:

I wish they made a comic adaptation of this draft like they did of the rough draft of ANH (“The Star Wars”).

I agree, it would be an engaging read.
 

It is such a pity we did not get to her 2nd draft and a polish, that she was contracted to do for the Empire script. Before the cancer took her, just weeks after she turned that first draft in to George.

I hadn’t heard that about Leigh Brackett begin contracted for that. I thought it was just the one draft she actually did. It makes me wonder if Lucas gave her feedback, notes an ideas on the 1st draft, to do the 2nd draft. Or if her cancer was known at the time of handing her 1st draft in to him.

Where did you hear she was contracted to do a “2nd draft and a polish”?

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Juno Eclipse said:

Where did you hear she was contracted to do a “2nd draft and a polish”?

Gary Kurtz and Lawrence Kasdan both said at different times. Kurtz in Starlog before they started shooting Empire in 1978 or near to that. And Kasdan when he was promoting his documentary last year or the year before.

There is some mention of it this thread from 2010 here: Leigh Brackett’s first draft of Empire

I think Gary Kurtz also mentioned in in a much later video interview he did, and also in a book, “Secrets Of The Force”.

The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.

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Thanks Emre, that was a fun and intuitive read through.
 

Channel72 said:

Interestingly, there’s also some elements in this script that seem to have been recycled as concepts that appeared in the Prequels, decades later. Some examples:

  • Darth Vader (who is not Luke’s father in this version) more explicitly tempts Luke with the power of the Dark Side. In fact, Vader specifically tells Luke that the Dark Side will enable him to “keep those he loves safe from harm”. Earlier it is established that Luke worries a lot about Princess Leia’s safety, and Vader exploits this when tempting Luke. This dynamic is pretty much identical to the way Palpatine tempts Anakin in the Prequels.
  • Cloud City has elements that were almost certainly recycled into Kamino in Attack of the Clones. In the draft, Cloud City (called Orbital City) has tall, pale-white-skinned, native aliens that ride “giant manta-rays”. They also use “pneumatic darts” as weapons. This was obviously recycled as the Kamino aliens. (But the recycling feels a bit clumsy - the Kamino aliens don’t really fit the water-themed environment they inhabit, whereas these native cloud aliens were supposed to feel like airy warriors that dwell in the clouds - hence they use primitive darts. But why would the advanced Kamino aliens use darts?).
  • Yoda (in this draft named “Minch”) uses a lightsaber, and at one point has a mock lightsaber duel with Ben Kenobi’s force ghost. This is the corniest thing ever. I don’t understand how Brackett wrote this thinking it would be filmable. (I don’t know if this scene specifically inspired Lucas to have Yoda fight with a lightsaber in the Prequels; it’s probably more likely that Lucas just thought it would be cool.)

George really did seem to keep everything from ideas, notes, and art, to recycle and use for other future stories, didn’t he? Even the more obscure or outlandish ones too. I’m surprised there isn’t an official book on the subject, providing some insight into his thought process for what became this behemoth of a saga.

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Channel72 said:

  • There’s a lot more exposition about the state of the Galaxy. There’s a scene where a Rebel commander explains that after the Death Star was destroyed, many systems joined the Rebellion, but the Imperial navy is still very powerful, and is currently spread thin around the Galaxy pursuing rebel cells. This kind of exposition is missing in the final version, requiring us to infer these background details ourselves. (Also the final version seems to imply Echo Base is the only rebel base.)

I do like that the idea of knowing more about what occurred in the galaxy after the Death Star was destroyed. But for some reason, probably Kershner’s skill as a director and keeping the tension and stakes high, the focus on Hoth does leave us thinking this could well be most, if not all, of the rebels.

darklordoftech said:

I wish they made a comic adaptation of this draft like they did of the rough draft of ANH (“The Star Wars”).

“The Star Wars” sold very well and generated a lot of interest and publicity at the time. So it is very surprising they didn’t follow it up with a version for this draft script too. Most unlike Lucasfilm under Disney.

I’d still love to see it done, even today.

Emre1601 said:

It is such a pity we did not get to her 2nd draft and a polish, that she was contracted to do for the Empire script. Before the cancer took her, just weeks after she turned that first draft in to George.

Yeah, it’d fascinating to have seen how the draft script would have developed in Leigh Brackett’s 2nd draft in a “what if?” way.

Personally I really like the the original backstory idea for Lando Calrissian being one of the last few clones still around after the Clone Wars.

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Marooned Biker Scout said:

Channel72 said:

  • There’s a lot more exposition about the state of the Galaxy. There’s a scene where a Rebel commander explains that after the Death Star was destroyed, many systems joined the Rebellion, but the Imperial navy is still very powerful, and is currently spread thin around the Galaxy pursuing rebel cells. This kind of exposition is missing in the final version, requiring us to infer these background details ourselves. (Also the final version seems to imply Echo Base is the only rebel base.)

I do like that the idea of knowing more about what occurred in the galaxy after the Death Star was destroyed. But for some reason, probably Kershner’s skill as a director and keeping the tension and stakes high, the focus on Hoth does leave us thinking this could well be most, if not all, of the rebels.

darklordoftech said:

I wish they made a comic adaptation of this draft like they did of the rough draft of ANH (“The Star Wars”).

“The Star Wars” sold very well and generated a lot of interest and publicity at the time. So it is very surprising they didn’t follow it up with a version for this draft script too. Most unlike Lucasfilm under Disney.

I’d still love to see it done, even today.

Emre1601 said:

It is such a pity we did not get to her 2nd draft and a polish, that she was contracted to do for the Empire script. Before the cancer took her, just weeks after she turned that first draft in to George.

Yeah, it’d fascinating to have seen how the draft script would have developed in Leigh Brackett’s 2nd draft in a “what if?” way.

Personally I really like the the original backstory idea for Lando Calrissian being one of the last few clones still around after the Clone Wars.

I agree, on both your “what if?” way, and that Lando being one of the last Clones around was a really cool and alluring character background and story line I’d have like to have seen explored further.

The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.

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Marooned Biker Scout said:

Channel72 said:

  • There’s a lot more exposition about the state of the Galaxy. There’s a scene where a Rebel commander explains that after the Death Star was destroyed, many systems joined the Rebellion, but the Imperial navy is still very powerful, and is currently spread thin around the Galaxy pursuing rebel cells. This kind of exposition is missing in the final version, requiring us to infer these background details ourselves. (Also the final version seems to imply Echo Base is the only rebel base.)

I do like that the idea of knowing more about what occurred in the galaxy after the Death Star was destroyed. But for some reason, probably Kershner’s skill as a director and keeping the tension and stakes high, the focus on Hoth does leave us thinking this could well be most, if not all, of the rebels.

Yes. Willard prompting the droids to bring up the ‘Galactic Map’ would have been cool to see, as well as his Basil Exposition:

“Since we destroyed the Empire’s Death Star, many more systems have found courage to join the rebellion. At the last count, one thousand and twenty-six. But as you see, we’re widely scattered and still vastly inferior in ships and men. This base, if we can establish and hold it, is strategically placed for….”
 

The love triangle between Han, Leia and Luke is, uh, a little strange and unsettling, to say the least, given what we saw on the actual screen and since.

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Also, General Dodonna is around on Echo Base, unlike in the final draft, where he disappears from the story. But all that exposition about the state of the Rebellion, if included, is probably something that should be summarized in the opening crawl.

Juno Eclipse said:

The love triangle between Han, Leia and Luke is, uh, a little strange and unsettling, to say the least, given what we saw on the actual screen and since.

I’d say the love triangle is still there in the final version - most notably in the scene in the medical bay where Leia kisses Luke to embarrass Han. But in the final version, the love triangle was serendipitously downplayed apart from that one scene. Notably, there’s almost nothing left of Luke’s romantic feelings for Leia.

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Another notable thing I should have mentioned in the original post, is that this draft includes a scene on “Coruscant”, except it’s called “Ton Muund” instead of Coruscant or even Had Abbadon. It’s described as an enormous city that covers the entire planet. It’s the Imperial capital, and the scene takes place in Darth Vader’s quarters. Instead of the Mordor-esque lava castle, Vader’s quarters are described as efficient, technological and dystopian, like something from 1984.

But then later, there’s a different scene, where Darth Vader is in a castle “of black iron in the midst of a crimson sea” which is closer to the famous castle known from Ralph McQuarrie’s concept art and Rogue One. There are even “gargoyles” (some kind of creatures) that hang around the castle. Presumably this castle is on some other planet, but the location is not mentioned.

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It’s been a few years since I read it before doing a podcast on Empire, but I was surprised at just how different it was to the finished movie. Namely that it was far more ridiculous than the final draft. I did find it funny that they actually showed the dinner scene on Cloud City and it’s revealed that Darth Vader doesn’t eat or drink. Such a strange detail to include.

All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph!

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I find it interesting that in the Leigh Brackett ESB script, Vader isn’t Luke’s father and Luke’s sister isn’t Leia, but The Emperor as we know him is there rather than him being the figurehead described in the novelization of ANH.

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darklordoftech said:

I find it interesting that in the Leigh Brackett ESB script, Vader isn’t Luke’s father and Luke’s sister isn’t Leia, but The Emperor as we know him is there rather than him being the figurehead described in the novelization of ANH.

Yeah, his sister was named Nelith or something if I remember right.

All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph!

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There’s a lot of contradictory claims about when exactly Lucas decided Vader was to become Luke’s father. The most obvious hypothesis would be some time after Leigh Brackett was commissioned to write the script, but before the Fourth Draft was completed. The Fourth Draft contains the mysterious words “(INSERT B - DIALOGUE ADDED HERE)” where Vader’s infamous line is supposed to go (presumably this was done to keep the shocking twist from leaking).

But I’ve also read the claim that Lucas actually came up with the plot twist before he commissioned Leigh Brackett, but just didn’t tell her about it. Of course, that claim seems like typical Lucas revisionist nonsense, but it would help explain why the Emperor is now an evil Force-using sorcerer in Brackett’s draft, instead of the figurehead politician. Of course, if this claim is true, Brackett’s script would need to have been changed significantly, since Luke’s father actually appears as a force ghost on Dagobah to give Luke some Jedi wisdom. (Plus if I were Brackett I would be pissed that Lucas essentially wasted my time by withholding this vital story information).

In Secret History of Star Wars, Michael Kaminski hypothesizes that Lucas came up with the idea to make Vader into Luke’s father after Brackett completed the first draft (and sadly died). Kaminski speculates that Lucas’ thought process leading up to this decision was as follows: Lucas read Brackett’s draft and something bothered him about the scenes where Luke’s father appears as a force ghost. Lucas realized that Luke’s father (who was a typical wise old Jedi character) was actually a completely redundant character, because he’s basically the exact same character as Ben Kenobi (who is also a Force Ghost at this point). But once the concept of force ghosts was introduced, it would follow logically that Luke’s father should begin appearing to Luke, since Kenobi always does. So now Lucas was stuck with duplicate “wise old Jedi” characters. If Luke’s father started appearing to Luke, there really would be no reason for Kenobi to have any further role in the story. So eventually, while struggling to find a solution to this problem, Lucas stumbled upon the greatest movie twist in history.

This hypothesis seems believable to me. It’s purely a guess, but it makes sense. But on the other hand, there is some evidence that Lucas actually decided that Vader was Luke’s father even before Leigh Brackett wrote the first draft. Kaminski points out how ridiculous this claim seems, because it means Lucas purposely withheld vital story information from Brackett, even while paying her to write the script (presumably out of paranoia of leaking the twist). And yeah, this does seem kind of ridiculous - but maybe it’s more like Lucas was just indecisive about the idea. Apparently it might actually be true, at least according to JW Rinzler, who claims to have many of Lucas’ handwritten preliminary notes for Empire Strikes Back, seemingly pre-dating Brackett’s draft. One of these note pages has the words “Father changes into Darth Vader”. But unfortunately Rinzler doesn’t provide a photograph of this (but provides many photographs of other notes), and Rinzler also admits that none of these notes are dated so it’s difficult to construct a precise timeline of Lucas’ thought process.

Anyway, if true, it would help explain why the Emperor turns into a Force-using evil sorcerer in Leigh Brackett’s script. Because if Lucas had already planned on making Vader into a conflicted character, there would need to be some new “ultimate bad guy” character to take his place.

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Channel72 said:

In Secret History of Star Wars, Michael Kaminski hypothesizes that Lucas came up with the idea to make Vader into Luke’s father after Brackett completed the first draft (and sadly died). Kaminski speculates that Lucas’ thought process leading up to this decision was as follows: Lucas read Brackett’s draft and something bothered him about the scenes where Luke’s father appears as a force ghost. Lucas realized that Luke’s father (who was a typical wise old Jedi character) was actually a completely redundant character, because he’s basically the exact same character as Ben Kenobi (who is also a Force Ghost at this point). But once the concept of force ghosts was introduced, it would follow logically that Luke’s father should begin appearing to Luke, since Kenobi always does. So now Lucas was stuck with duplicate “wise old Jedi” characters. If Luke’s father started appearing to Luke, there really would be no reason for Kenobi to have any further role in the story. So eventually, while struggling to find a solution to this problem, Lucas stumbled upon the greatest movie twist in history.

This is fascinating, and makes a lot of sense.

This hypothesis seems believable to me. It’s purely a guess, but it makes sense. But on the other hand, there is some evidence that Lucas actually decided that Vader was Luke’s father even before Leigh Brackett wrote the first draft. Kaminski points out how ridiculous this claim seems, because it means Lucas purposely withheld vital story information from Brackett, even while paying her to write the script (presumably out of paranoia of leaking the twist). And yeah, this does seem kind of ridiculous - but maybe it’s more like Lucas was just indecisive about the idea. Apparently it might actually be true, at least according to JW Rinzler, who claims to have many of Lucas’ handwritten preliminary notes for Empire Strikes Back, seemingly pre-dating Brackett’s draft. One of these note pages has the words “Father changes into Darth Vader”. But unfortunately Rinzler doesn’t provide a photograph of this (but provides many photographs of other notes), and Rinzler also admits that none of these notes are dated so it’s difficult to construct a precise timeline of Lucas’ thought process.

Could the words ‘Father changes into Darth Vader’ be a reference to a Force vision, much like Luke’s Dagobah Cave experience? In the finished film Luke defeats Vader and his face turns into Luke’s face, but perhaps there was a version where Luke’s father appears to him in a dream or vision but then changes into Vader to represent the revenge that Luke feels that he needs to take.

I suggest this alternate explanation merely because if I suddenly had the idea to combine the two characters, I would simply write ‘Father is Darth Vader’, or ‘Father changed to Darth Vader’. It’s very strange to use the present form of the word ‘changes’ since it suggests something which happens within the film, rather than being a revelation of an unchanging fact.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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An interesting hypothesis, Chnnel72.

If it helps you further, with dates, Lucas is on record in August 1977:

‘August 1977, after the release of #StarWars, Lucas stated that Vader massacred the Jedi but Kenobi and Luke’s father Annikin survived’ - https://twitter.com/philszostak/status/1161026993917317120 (Lucasfilm creative art manager & author)

(But he does also say: ‘Darth Vader wasn’t Luke’s father until the second draft of #EmpireStrikesBack in April 1978.’)

 
And according to Marcia Lucas in the recent “Icons Unearthed” documentary:

'The third episode of the docuseries is all about the making of The Empire Strikes Back. George Lucas farmed out the screenplay to science fiction novelist Leigh Brackett, but Brackett passed away after she handed in her first draft. As has been documented in many different sources, Lucas then collaborated with Lawrence Kasdan to rewrite Empire, and it was during this process that the big twist about Vader was invented.

As described by Marica Lucas in Icons Unearthed, George Lucas was struggling to come up with some kind of big twist for Empire’s third act. While stuck, Marcia and George invited screenwriters Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz over for dinner. The couple had worked with George Lucas before, including an uncredited rewrite of A New Hope. When Lucas described his struggles with the Empire story, Huyck joked, “You can always make Darth Vader Luke’s father.”

In her new interviews, Marica Lucas says of this moment, “I kid you not. I don’t know if Willard even remembers saying that. But I remember it.”

According to Marcia Lucas, this offhand comment — even though it was a joke — stuck in the mind of George Lucas, who then, of course, transformed the entire Star Wars saga. Suddenly, retroactively, the whole story of Star Wars became about the Skywalker family and the tragedy of Darth Vader.

There’s no evidence to suggest Marcia Lucas is wrong, either. Brackett’s draft of Empire makes no mention of the secret that Darth Vader was a Skywalker who fathered Luke and Leia. Mark Hamill has also said more than once that the twist of Leia being Luke’s sister was a very late-in-the-game idea.

Marcia Lucas’ revelation that the Darth Vader parentage idea may have come from one of George’s most trusted friends is fascinating. Gloria Katz and Willard Huyck went on to write Howard the Duck and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, neither of which are considered the best that Lucasfilm had to offer. And yet, if Willard Huyck did invent the story of Anakin Skywalker, then suddenly he becomes the most pivotal writer in the entire history of Lucasfilm.’

from https://www.inverse.com/entertainment/darth-vader-luke-father-joke-marcia-lucas

The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear.

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NeverarGreat said:

Could the words ‘Father changes into Darth Vader’ be a reference to a Force vision, much like Luke’s Dagobah Cave experience? In the finished film Luke defeats Vader and his face turns into Luke’s face, but perhaps there was a version where Luke’s father appears to him in a dream or vision but then changes into Vader to represent the revenge that Luke feels that he needs to take.

I suggest this alternate explanation merely because if I suddenly had the idea to combine the two characters, I would simply write ‘Father is Darth Vader’, or ‘Father changed to Darth Vader’. It’s very strange to use the present form of the word ‘changes’ since it suggests something which happens within the film, rather than being a revelation of an unchanging fact.

It’s definitely possible. The full context only raises more questions.

The full context reads: “Somewhere the good father (Ben) watches over the child’s fate, ready to assert his power when critically needed. Father changes into Darth Vader, who is a passing manifestation, and will return triumphant. Luke travels to the end of the world and makes sacrifice to undo the spell put on his father. He succeeds and happiness is restored.” This is on page 7 of The Making of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. Rinzler claims these words are in the notes for an “early outline” of a Star Wars sequel, but no actual dates for these notes are provided.

These notes are pretty hard to make sense of, and the fact that Ben is also referred to as “father” only adds to the confusion. But you’re right that it could easily apply to some kind of vision Luke has, or some spiritual interpretation of Luke’s journey. But the last two sentences could also be interpreted as Vader’s redemption arc. Regardless, the meaning here is a bit obscure, and it’s not certain that it really refers to the famous plot twist. And again, there are no dates on these notes, so those sentences could have been written after Brackett’s first draft.

I tend to prefer Kaminski’s hypothesis, that Vader was made into Luke’s father through the process of Lucas struggling to remove the redundancy introduced when Luke’s father (originally) appeared as another wise old Jedi Force Ghost, duplicating the role of Kenobi. If the account from Marcia Lucas mentioned by Emre1601 is correct, it’s possible that Lucas ran this problem by some of his friends, and one of them suggested the idea of merging Vader with Luke’s father.

In general, it’s very common in literature and screen-writing for a writer to merge two characters into one if one character becomes redundant. Thus, I think it’s likely that Vader was turned into Luke’s father not for the sake of some amazing twist, but rather as a solution to a writing problem caused by having redundant characters. The fact that it was also an incredible twist was of course a huge bonus.

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George Lucas c. 1978: merges Anakin & Vader to avoid redundancy.

George Lucas c. 1995: splits Qui-Gon off from Obi-Wan, creating redundancy.

“The Anarchists are right in everything; in the negation of the existing order and in the assertion that, without Authority there could not be worse violence than that of Authority under existing conditions. They are mistaken only in thinking that anarchy can be instituted by a violent revolution… There can be only one permanent revolution — a moral one: the regeneration of the inner man. How is this revolution to take place? Nobody knows how it will take place in humanity, but every man feels it clearly in himself. And yet in our world everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself.”

― Leo Tolstoy

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Whew! Lots of good stuff brought up here. There’s a lot I’d like to add/respond to, but foremost:

I think Michael Kaminski’s hypothesis is incorrect. He made a decent guess but I don’t believe that’s actually what happened, mostly because there’s evidence that Lucas was considering the twist before he’d written the second draft.

The April 1978 issue of Future Life magazine has a news item explaining that Leigh Brackett had been hired to write the script, and moreover that the production was considering a possible storyline in which Darth Vader turns out to be Luke Skywalker’s father.

Future Life snippet

Curiously, Kaminski actually does bring this up in his book, but he surmises that both the first and second drafts must have been leaked. I don’t believe this is the case, because:

  • The second draft would not have been written yet - it’s dated April 1, 1978, while the April issue of this magazine would have already been on sale by March.
  • Lucas wrote the 2nd draft himself in the first place because Leigh Brackett had died mere weeks (March 18) after submitting hers (Feb 17), and surely the magazine would have mentioned this if it’d happened before press time.
  • The magazine clearly has no clue what a scoop they’ve landed, or that they’ve even uncovered a plot twist.
  • The copy goes into details of Vader’s past that aren’t covered by the movie at all, in script or film form.
  • The twist was not included in the official typed version of the second draft. It was only in Lucas’s personal handwritten copy that not even 20th Century Fox got to see (scans at bottom).

The magazine would’ve had to have gotten this info from someone behind the scenes who’d gotten wind of what ol’ George was planning (Future Life was a spinoff of Starlog, who indeed had genuine sources), and as we see now with Marcia’s anecdote she confirms he’d been discussing the storyline with colleagues. This supports that the idea of making Darth Vader Luke’s father was being considered at least before the first draft was complete.

Secret page 1
Secret page 2

Author
Time

Barfolomew said:

Whew! Lots of good stuff brought up here. There’s a lot I’d like to add/respond to, but foremost:

I think Michael Kaminski’s hypothesis is incorrect. He made a decent guess but I don’t believe that’s what actually what happened, mostly because there’s evidence that Lucas was considering the twist before he’d written the second draft.

The April 1978 issue of Future Life magazine has a news item explaining that Leigh Brackett had been hired to write the script, and moreover that the production was considering a possible storyline in which Darth Vader turns out to be Luke Skywalker’s father.

Future Life snippet

Curiously, Kaminski actually does bring this up in his book, but he surmises that both the first and second drafts must have been leaked. I don’t believe this is the case, because:

  • The second draft would not have been written yet - it’s dated April 1, 1978, while the April issue of this magazine would have already been on sale by March.
  • Lucas wrote the 2nd draft himself in the first place because Leigh Brackett had died mere weeks (March 18) after submitting hers (Feb 17), and surely the magazine would have mentioned this if it’d happened before press time.
  • The magazine clearly has no clue what a scoop they’ve landed, or that they’ve even uncovered a plot twist.
  • The copy goes into details of Vader’s past that aren’t covered by the movie at all, in script or film form.
  • The twist was not included in the official typed version of the second draft. It was only in Lucas’s personal handwritten copy that not even 20th Century Fox got to see (scans at bottom).

The magazine would’ve had to have gotten this info from someone behind the scenes who’d gotten wind of what ol’ George was planning (Future Life was a spinoff of Starlog, who indeed had genuine sources), and as we see now with Marcia’s anecdote she confirms he’d been discussing the storyline with colleagues. This supports that the idea of making Darth Vader Luke’s father was being considered at least before the first draft was complete.

Secret page 1
Secret page 2

In the 2nd draft, is Yoda still called “Minch”, is he called “Minch Yoda”, or is he called “Yoda”?

Author
Time
 (Edited)

darklordoftech said:
In the 2nd draft, is Yoda still called “Minch”, is he called “Minch Yoda”, or is he called “Yoda”?

He’s called Yoda according to Rinzler’s Making of book (which is where I’m getting my info on the 2nd draft; I don’t have a file of it or anything).

Edited to add: While we’re at it, though, in Lucas’s notes Yoda is referred to by yet another name: Bunden Debannen, a.k.a. “Buffy”.

"Buffy" reference by JW Rinzler

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I think the origins of “Father Vader” are probably even simpler than Kiminski’s theory once you take what we know of Star Wars’ development into account.

The Star Wars that hit theaters functions mostly as a standalone story, Lucas having “stolen the ending” of the two-parter he’d had in mind and ending up with a movie that in the broadest strokes resembles what’d become the overall trilogy in condensed form, and there’s really only a few major plot points it didn’t cover, two of the biggest ones being:

  • The hero’s cyborg father makes a heroic sacrifice
  • The “black knight” villain turns against the empire and saves the heroes

With that in mind, when you hear the way Lucas puts it in the “From Star Wars to Jedi” doc from 1983: (https://youtu.be/YKhGkiHSlAA?t=3292)

From Star Wars to Jedi Lucas Interview

“As that evolved as I did the first film, I didn’t know how the public would take all this and that it would be as successful as it was and Darth Vader would become the character he became. And so when I got down to the second film, I had to make a decision about whether I was really going to go through with this thing, of him being his father. And I finally decided that that really was the way, that was the original story and that was the one I really liked the most and so I had to stick with it.”

Yes, Lucas is still being cagey here and I’m sure he’s hoping people will take it that a Brilliant Plot Twist was always the plan… but strictly speaking, what he’s saying fits right in line with what we know. He had an opportunity to go back and tell “the original story” involving a cyborg father and a heroic sacrifice, because (completely serendipitously) the “black knight” villain had become the cyborg.

This is the storyline he “liked the most” over the one that moved the father’s death into the unseen past, the latter of which sounds exactly like the kind of compromise you make when you’re trying to shove everything back into a single movie (Obi-Wan Kenobi’s death would sort of serve as a substitute, though that was also entirely serendipitous - Obi Wan was going to live to the end but it was Marcia’s suggestion that he be killed off).