If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place — Page 368

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

This.

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

My point is that most dating is not how they’re claiming it is. That’s been my complaint all along.

You’re still only giving a POV slanted by your own subjective experiences and biases.

Isn’t that what everyone does?

Dek Rollins said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

This.

I agree with what Dom said too, but the romanticized vision of what dating is like is typically not reality. That’s my point.

I complain about how shitty dating is, and then everyone bombards me with what dating is supposed to be. I don’t get it. I’m not complaining about what dating is supposed to be in an ideal world, I’m complaining about what it is. I can’t comprehend why people don’t get what I’m saying.

ChainsawAsh said:

It’s because you’re giving an absolute worst case scenario (people outright lying about everything about themselves in order to get in the other person’s pants) and presenting that as if it’s a universal truth for every person that ever goes on a date.

It’s not a universal truth, it’s just typically true.

The reality isn’t so dark. Highlighting your good qualities while downplaying your bad ones is closer to a universal truth about dating, but that’s not the same thing as what you’re saying. What you’re saying sounds like people go on dates as characters they made up that are nothing at all like them.

I consider highlighting good qualities and downplaying bad ones to be dishonest.

DominicCobb said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I complain about how shitty dating is, and then everyone bombards me with what dating is supposed to be. I don’t get it. I’m not complaining about what dating is supposed to be in an ideal world, I’m complaining about what it is. I can’t comprehend why people don’t get what I’m saying.

You’re saying that dating is always one way, when that’s not the case. What you’re describing is bad dating. It’s not all bad.

Some of it is worse than others. I don’t even like the dynamics behind what you might call “good dating.” It’s similar to a job interview. Part of the confusion also probably comes from me not valuing romantic relationships or companionship, which is also an unpopular opinion, and I think most failed relationships are wastes of time where as a lot of you would probably find solace in whatever you were able to get or learn from the relationship before it failed. I have come to terms with the fact that I don’t see reality the way everyone else does. Sometimes I still get surprised by people’s reactions though.

DuracellEnergizer said:

[JEDIT]

I cannot change the tides, so I won’t continue trying.

I’m still curious about what you were going to say.

TV’s Frink said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I think most failed relationships are wastes of time where as a lot of you would probably find solace in whatever you were able to get or learn from the relationship before it failed.

Not all relationships end in failure though.

No, but I also think that non-failed relationships are a waste. Like I said, I get that my perception of reality doesn’t line up with other people’s.

Handman said:

Why would you want to air all your worst qualities immediately? Who do you think I am, Woody Allen?

I don’t know. I haven’t seen any Woody Allen movies so I don’t get your joke.

I’m finding recently that putting any kind of faith in anyone is a waste of time.

That’s what I live by. There’s still some nuance, though. I trust Amazon not to deliver my packages to the wrong person, and I trust them to refund me if they do. I trust my waitress not to poison me, etc. etc. It all depends on what faith you’re putting into which person.

Feels not worth trying when you take such a pessimistic view. I think we had that conversation recently too.

Mrebo said:

Feels not worth trying when you take such a pessimistic view. I think we had that conversation recently too.

What isn’t worth trying?

Possessed said:

If you think nonfailed relationships are a waste then I guess i don’t even understand why you’re participating in this discussion except to spread more negativity.

I don’t like to walk away from conversations. I shared my honest opinions on dating, which I honestly people would agree with, and they didn’t and said other things that I responded to.

Handman said:

I guess a non-failed relationship is just emptiness. Or think of all the marriage jokes you’ve ever heard.

I don’t know if it’s emptiness. I don’t see the appeal of marriage at all though.