If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place — Page 367

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Not what I meant. I meant people should not play weird mind games and lie to each other for the first several months or years of their relationship.

Honestly, you generalize too damn much. You’re starting to sound like a parody of yourself.

Isn’t the whole point of dating to trick someone into thinking you’re more likable than you actually are? I’m just being brutally honest, at least that’s how I see my comments.

Unless you’re telepathic, you’ll never know how anyone beyond yourself approaches dating.

People act differently when they’re on dates.

Maybe?

They make themselves look nicer than they usually look

Yes.

they act nicer than they usually act,

Maybe?

and it’s all a big game.

No. When you date someone, you’re trying to make friends. If some stranger doesn’t know you and you’re trying to become their friend, you should obviously try to be the kind of person whom they would like to be friends with. If one can’t help but be an annoying shit to anyone and everyone one meets, then it’s no surprise that the only people who would befriend such a person are people who like hanging around annoying shits.

Also, when you’re looking for a date, you’re also looking for a potential mate and parent to your children. If a person has certain values they want for their kids, they probably wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t have those values. But you have to get to know people to decide whether or not they have them.

The alternative to dating (besides not dating) is arranged marriage, where your family decides for you.

Arranged marriage, or we could just go full Brave New World.

Let’s go The Lobster.

Collipso said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I didn’t even know this was a controversial opinion. Does anyone actually like dating?

What is your definition of dating?

Two people, presumably with romantic interest in each other, attempting to win each other over.

ChainsawAsh said:

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Not what I meant. I meant people should not play weird mind games and lie to each other for the first several months or years of their relationship.

Honestly, you generalize too damn much. You’re starting to sound like a parody of yourself.

Isn’t the whole point of dating to trick someone into thinking you’re more likable than you actually are? I’m just being brutally honest, at least that’s how I see my comments.

No, the point of dating is to find someone who likes you despite your flaws, and vice versa. It’s not about lying to hide your flaws, or at least it shouldn’t be. Better to be upfront and let it end early than drag it out and let it crash and burn much later when your lies are exposed.

That is absolutely not true. People generally go to great lengths to hide whatever they think the other person won’t like about them on dates. I’m shocked that anyone would pretend that this isn’t the case. Rarely is anyone upfront during dating, and that’s why I hate it and it isn’t worth my time.

TV’s Frink said:

I’m shocked that the person who says the point of dating someone is to trick them would not enjoy dating, or people for that matter.

Lol, exactly. I don’t get why everyone is so shocked by my views on things. I have a pretty consistent and predictable worldview.

chyron8472 said:

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

DuracellEnergizer said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Not what I meant. I meant people should not play weird mind games and lie to each other for the first several months or years of their relationship.

Honestly, you generalize too damn much. You’re starting to sound like a parody of yourself.

Isn’t the whole point of dating to trick someone into thinking you’re more likable than you actually are? I’m just being brutally honest, at least that’s how I see my comments.

Unless you’re telepathic, you’ll never know how anyone beyond yourself approaches dating.

People act differently when they’re on dates.

Maybe?

Definitely.

They make themselves look nicer than they usually look

Yes.

So I’m right on this one. And you don’t see a problem with that? I’d rather people just look normal and not all fancy and fake.

they act nicer than they usually act,

Maybe?

Typically. They definitely act different most of the time, trying to be more pleasant.

and it’s all a big game.

No. When you date someone, you’re trying to make friends.

Nope. If I wanted friends, and I don’t (if you want then I can go into great detail on why friends suck too), I could make them much easier than going on a phony date.

If some stranger doesn’t know you and you’re trying to become their friend, you should obviously try to be the kind of person whom they would like to be friends with.

You don’t see a problem with that? Don’t try to be what I want you to be. That’s dishonest and it’s wasting my time. Be who you are and I’ll decide if I like you, and I’ll do the same so you can decide about me. I’m shocked that this is a controversial statement.

If one can’t help but be an annoying shit to anyone and everyone one meets, then it’s no surprise that the only people who would befriend such a person are people who like hanging around annoying shits.

That has nothing to do with it, there are plenty of people that are decent enough that I still want nothing to do with. You don’t have to be an annoying shit in order to be completely incompatible with someone.

Also, when you’re looking for a date, you’re also looking for a potential mate and parent to your children.

WHAT? I thought dating was to make friends!

If a person has certain values they want for their kids, they probably wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t have those values. But you have to get to know people to decide whether or not they have them.

I agree (other than the point that children have to be an outcome), but that’s why I hate dating. You’re typically not getting to know a real person until you get past the first few months of dishonest performance that goes into it.

The alternative to dating (besides not dating) is arranged marriage, where your family decides for you.

What the fuck? What is this, the dark ages?

EDIT: Minor correction. I said to ChainsawAsh that dating isn’t worth my time because people are rarely upfront, and that’s not true. Dating actually isn’t worth my time because I don’t want to be in a relationship ever again. If I did, though, then dating wouldn’t be worth my time because people are rarely upfront.

I’m shocked that on this site of all places, where complaints of loneliness are common, it is controversial to think that dating as it typically is in society today is a frustrating waste of time. I feel like Obama at the first debate in 2012 where he went in expecting the complete opposite of what would actually happen, so this reaction really caught me off guard.

suspiciouscoffee said:

Let’s go The Lobster.

That movie disappointed me.

ChainsawAsh said:

moviefreakedmind said:

I’m shocked that on this site of all places, where complaints of loneliness are common, it is controversial to think that dating as it typically is in society today is a frustrating waste of time. I feel like Obama at the first debate in 2012 where he went in expecting the complete opposite of what would actually happen, so this reaction really caught me off guard.

It’s frustrating, but I don’t think it’s a waste of time. I go into dates as an upfront and honest person who’s not trying to gloss over my flaws or make myself out to be better than I am. I won’t deny that most people don’t do this, but I think everyone would be better off if we all did.

That was my point. That’s how dating should be but it isn’t and never will be.

But hey, if you want to be alone forever, then sure, dating’s a waste of time.

I’d love to be alone forever. I don’t expect to live long though so I don’t think it’s as big of a deal to me than most people.

double post

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

That’s fair enough. I don’t think people should air their biggest mistakes and regrets on early dates. I’m talking about behavior. I see no reason to behave significantly differently on a date than you would in almost any social occasion.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

Yes, and you wasted months of your life.

DuracellEnergizer said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

I’ve never been on a date, and I still agree with everything above.

My point is that most dating is not how they’re claiming it is. That’s been my complaint all along.

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

I don’t think it’s crazy that some people want to put their best foot first and not make a bad impression. I don’t know if I’d say that’s being dishonest or lying. Just because you’re not necessarily airing all your bad qualities right away doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself. It’s natural to open up more the more you get to know someone. Again, I wouldn’t call that dishonesty.

If you’re months deep in a relationship and you still don’t feel comfortable being open and yourself, that’s not a relationship you should be in, simple as that.

This.

That