If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place — Page 161

Leonardo said:

TV's Frink said:

Have you / will you see a doctor?  Are you on medication?  Both can help.

 No, I haven't seen a doctor, nor am I on medication.

change that.

I also do not seek help from nobody.

unwise

I do not deserve to be helped.

incorrect, very incorrect.

Besides, that was some random site.

if you say so.

I might be fine.

 not if you are claiming that you do not deserve to be helped. 

My current job is RN on a psychiatric floor of a hospital.  There are numerous people who come to my floor extremely depressed, suicidal, feeling worthless, and ready to end it all.  Just because you post that here signals to me that you want help, you are in fact asking for it, but from people you know to be largely powerless to do it because of your low self worth.  You are worthwhile.  Every soul is worthwhile and has something good to give the world.  There are those who choose to act on evil, there are those who give up and withhold their good, and there are those who at times need the good of others to get through their hard spots, and one day are in a position to help others.  I have my own history with depression, but I've made it to a point of stability, and I am able to now help others.  I was just talking to one of my patients, and he feels very fortunate to have this unit and these staff members and get the help he needs.  He was suicidal but he says he is having a really good day and is ready to go forth a happier man.  Think of what the world would miss without him.  And I, once (2000-2001) a suicidal individual myself, was part of what helped this man realize his self worth and give him new perspective.

You don't necessarily need hospitalization.  But you do need help.  Please get it.  You are worth it.

As for my own griping, I've worked two 16+ hour days in a row.  I won't get off work till 11:30 pm and have to come back in on my day off at 6:00 am for mandatory training.  The time for each mandatory meeting changes each time to accommodate different shifts, so tomorrow it's super early, and it's my day off.  Yuck.  On the other hand, I have good news about work, but I'll put that elsewhere.

I too recommend you go to a doctor Leo.  I don't personally recommend prescription medication, as I had a bad experience with it, but then again that experience may differ with you.  But your doctor will probably know of some good therapy/counseling that you could go to and that will really help more than you'd think it would.  As far as medicating yourself goes, I recommend herbs (no, not THAT one... :P) such as chamomile, passion flower (yes it makes you horny... but there are plenty of other benefits as well), lavender, kava kava (especially), HTTP-5, GABBA, and Valerian root.  I would recommend ordering a supplement containing those herbs, I do this and it has helped me greatly with my depression and anxiety.  I still have depression and anxiety, but no where near the level it was before I started taking them.  I ordered it from amazon, the one I like the best is called "Anxietall", which is just a cute name they gave it it's completely herbal.  I know I know, I'm just a dirty hippie, but I promise it does help.

As far as my own updates go, my headaches have, for the most part, stopped. I feel better than I have in a long time, for the most part.  In fact I feel like superman, as the lisinopril made my muscles feel weak but I had been on it for so long that I'd gotten used to it, but now being off of it I feel like I'm really strong and things I had already gotten used to lifting now seem lighter than ever.  I also have more energy and stamina than in a long time.  I had convinced myself I was just in bad shape, despite efforts to the contrary, but now i can see that the medicine was just weighing me down and making me tire and fatigue quicker than usual.  My pulse has slowed down and regulated (used to usually rest about 100, and if I would stand up and walk around it'd go to about 120, I'd be out of breath, and once I caught my breath I would still only get it to go down to 100.  Now when I'm at rest my pulse is around 55-60 and when I stand up it's usually around 70 or 80 or so and even when I'm working usually stays below 100.  If you're wondering how I keep track of all that when I'm working and such it comes from playing guitar to a metronome constantly:I know what 100, 80, and 60 bpm sounds like.)

Unfortunately, I'm still getting bouts of my chest feeling tight and my head feeling like there's pressure on it.  Also sometimes my ears pop.  It comes randomly, and the amount of time it lingers varies.  I really think it's only nerves more than anything though.  Seems odd for blood pressure to randomly spike for no reason when I'm just standing there doing my job out of nowhere, but having panic attacks out of nowhere for no reason used to be my trademark signature move.  I'm thinking that just the simple fact of knowing that I'm no longer taking a medicine for my heart that I used to take (whether I needed to or not) is just causing my anxiety to resurface again.

Also the fact that it only seems to happen when I'm thinking about it is a pretty big tip off, lol.

YouTube trolls and morons. Mainly the ones who:

- Are 5-9yr olds (along with trendy morons) who steal others videos and scream bloody murder and say "ur gay" or "YOUR GROUNDED FOR 4545824384t5t43h5e4g65gr97g3973rg594 YEARZ GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" when asked politely to remove them.

- Post random comments or other weird shit.

- Make insult videos of other users dying or "getting grounded" with a known site for making Family Guy style animations.

- Starting "comment chain wars" about the ethnicity and gender of a user going by his/her avatar

- Little kids and morons asking for video requests and threating to "rape" users for not accepting them

The first two are why I closed my YT channel a year ago, and will never come back until all the grounded assholes and trolls freeze over in HIFL (get the reference), which will probably be never with the way the parents and education systems are going nowadays.

^All the more reason YouTube should be designed to automatically detect and lobotomize* anyone trying to create an account who doesn't have a third grade reading level or higher.

*Or block -- whichever one's more ethically sound.

I don't know why little children would be posting on YouTube in the first place.

In any case, I'd hope said children would have better manners than Supermartyoh's examples.

JEDIT: And just so we're all clear, I don't really advocate lobotomizing individuals, not even obnoxious Internet morons. Putting them over the knee and beating their rears raw with a wooden paddle is much more constructive*.

*The Internet morons, that is, not children or mentally disabled individuals.

DuracellEnergizer said:

"In any case, I'd hope said children would have better manners than Supermartyoh's examples."

Thankfully, most of the kids I see in real life are NOT that bad. The reason I mentioned "little kids" is because you need to be 13 years or older of age to have a YT account and post stuff, but their parents let them on anyways even if they use their accounts with their parents info and age. Its not just kids however, its also a problem even with adult users, most of whom are raging fanboys along with some sex perverts. However, while many YouTube users are not like this, the number of morons rising from the woodwork to "socialize" and "troll" are staggering!

I have no bias nor hate towards any group of mentally disabled individuals, as I myself have high functioning Autism. Not all mentally disabled individuals are like the YT clowns I described, and many of them are nice people and can socialize and behave in society pretty well. I just listed the most "notable" morons that just troll for the hell of it, and kids who don't know better because their parents are cracked boneheads. Sadly, these are the ones that are showing signs of society's downfall. I myself, along with several of you, have gone through experiences of dealing with an arsehole in our lives, and I posted that list to share my experiences.

Neglify said:

I speak on behalf of all the screwballs who need help.

We *hate* it, hate with a furious passion, when people constantly tell us we need help.

- team_fml

 I get that.  I only say it because it helped me.

Seems like you answered your own question there.

Leonardo said:

Thanks for the kind words fellas. Although I'm a bit disappointed because I expected Gabby Johnson to show up and he didn't.

darth ender, do you reckon keeping a diary might help? The rare times I do it, I find writing about myself to be liberating and a way to understand myself. Do you think there's some good in that?

 Team Frink said it perfectly.  You found your answer.  And there are numerous scientific studies that show those benefits.  This blog is obviously not a scientific study in itself, but this post listed many benefits and ideas.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-journaling-tips-to-help-you-heal-grow-and-thrive/

Seriously, that's a good start.  But even if Neglify is serious, which I'm not sure, I really believe there is a great deal of good that comes from working with others to lift each other up.  We humans are not meant to be alone.  We thrive most working together rather than as loners.

deleted.

JEDITED out of existence.

Leonardo said:

Thanks again y'all.

I really need some clarity. I need to focus on something, and I need to make my days worthwhile, and different from each other instead of one huge stinking blur.

I just wish my immediate relations weren't so damn clueless.

I really don't feel like I get much sympathy, even if I try to make it clear that I'm not OK. A few days ago I was feeling down, came to the dinner table but couldn't bear to eat anything. Was that not a clue? Didn't holding my hand to my face help? How about sighing and saying "I'm not feeling right", over and over ragain? Will that stop you from telling me to eat something?

"Why don't you just get out of here, go out and look for a job??" is a sentence I hear frequently. While it's true that I'm a lazy shithead, it's also true that I've gotten so bad nowadays, I have trouble getting out of the house to go anywhere that's not the shops.

Job my arse. How do I look for a job if I can't even look at myself in the mirror without cringing inside?

I'm never sure with my parents. They seem to be of the "keep everything to yourself" school of thought. I'm not sure they understand the meaning of "depressed". Still? How long will it last? (they seem to think)

Never do I hear "Is there something troubling you? Is there any way we can help?"

Doesn't really do good for one's self esteem.

 maybe you should talk to your parents and tell them that there is something troubling you instead of waiting for them pick up on your clues?

They don't sound very approachable.

Please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way.  I'm NOT saying it in a "you should have already done this by now", I'm saying it in a genuine "I think this will help you" way.  You should get a job.  I know it's hard to go out, and I know it will be difficult, but I really truly believe it will help you for a variety of reasons on a variety of fronts.

For one, it will give you a reason to leave the house every day.  Something to do, something to keep you busy, something to get your mind focusing on things other than yourself and how lousy you feel.  When I was really depressed, getting a job really helped.  You will get to interact with different people on a daily basis and it will help the loneliness.  You can start to make friends.

And that leads me to the second positive thing about getting a job.  While the job will no doubt certainly help in some regard, if it does not help enough and you still feel like you need support, you may have made friends at your new job that you can talk to instead of your parents.  I can say that my co-workers are my best friends, and my family, and we often get together outside of work when we can.  We care about each other  (Neglify's concerns about being told we need help rings very true with me due to some of my 'habits'... lol) and we support each other.

Also money.

Moving sucks.  Moving twice in two months *really* sucks.

Moving sucks.  Moving twice in two months *really* sucks.

JEDIT: Uh-oh...

TV's Frink said:

They don't sound very approachable.

 perhaps they are not very approachable, I do not know enough about them to judge.  All I meant is that sometimes them reason people don't pick up on the signals isn't because they don't care, sometimes they just miss the signals.  Sometimes you need to talk to them clearly.